I think I am in love with two brothers.....

[Kinkyhairlady]

Let me explain....I met a really nice 21 yr old back in 2006 at church. Looks wise and personality wise he was everything I wanted but age wise was a problem since I am five years older. Well time passed we continued to talk for months and I decided I don't want to be with a younger man but then I saw his brothers picture who happens to be my age and I was automatically attracted to what I saw. I straight told him well you are too young I would like to get to know your brother. Well one day his brother called me and introduced himself to me over the phone. Problem here is the brother lives in another country but I continued to talk to him but it got expensive buying calling cards all the time to call so after a few months I backed off but he would call periodically. During that time I dated other men but nothing worked. Fast forward end of 2007 I decided to give the younger brother a real chance and we started dating. He treated me like a queen but I was so pressed on his age I ended up treating him poorly and I hurt him a lot with certain things I would say to him. The relationship lasted like 2 months we broke up in Jan. of this year. Since then the older brother and I have rekindled our friendship and started talking everyday and he has confessed his feeling for me and I have very strong feeling for him as well. Recently the older brother has been granted a visa and is coming to U.S next month and I am freaking out because I have no idea what I am going to do. When I see the younger one at church I still have those feelings in my heart and he told me the other day he is still in love with me. I know all this sounds pretty shady and trust me I am trying to do the right thing but it is so damn hard cause I am attracted to both and they both are interested in being with me but i have to make some sort of decision. I am praying on it currently and maybe I just have to leave both of them alone but it is like leaving my dream men alone and is harder to do. I would also like to add the younger brother and I only kissed it never went further then that. I am asking God for direction in this time but I was curious as to hear if anyone has experienced this and what they ended up doing.

 

[JFemme]

I vote to leave both alone. Its messy.

 

[AnjelLuvs]

No paragraphs/Breaks = no read....

But, Two brothers, never sounds like a good idea... Tis all...

 

[Taliah]

If you know you don't want to date a younger man then what is there to decide?

 

[drasgrl]

Leave them both alone like the other poster said. I wouldn't want to be responsible for ****tering anyone's family. It would just be an awkward situation for all involved.

ETA
What the heck is up with this censoring? I can't even spell s-h-a-t-t-e-r-i-n-g?

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

I agree there could be some drama created between the brothers but it is not easy to put my feelings aside especially when one goes to my church. I get butterflies in my stomach when I see him there and Lord know what I am going to feel when the brother comes. I wish it was an easier decision but I can't just put my feeling aside easily.

 

[Ramya]

So you'd rather selfishly ruin a relationship between brothers so that your feelings can be spared? How do you think they feel? I really think you need to leave it alone. You've already hurt the younger brother. His age is a big deal to you so why even bother?

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

I know right.

I can't read the jumble.. I just can't. I am sure it's a good read, but no breaks, no indentation, no no no

PS. From the title alone, .... it's probably not a good idea.

No paragraphs/Breaks = no read....

But, Two brothers, never sounds like a good idea... Tis all...

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

You want my HONEST opinion? You started out messy and this will end messy. It sounds like you want your cake and eat it too!

- you start out with the younger guy and see a pic of the older brother and told him that you would like to get to know the other brother? WTH!!! That was disrespectful of the younger brother feelings & he should have told you to kick rocks!

- u talk to the older brother until it becomes too expensive for calling cards

- u begin to date other men but still got feelings for both brothers

- u go back to the younger brother (even though you have a problem with age ). He treats you like a queen but you treat him like sh*t and say really harsh things to him.

- ohhh now the older brother is coming home and you don't know what to do??

I know all this sounds pretty shady and trust me I am trying to do the right thing

I blame the younger brother for letting you walk all over his feelings. Yeah it does sound shady seeing that all of this is going on at church and you are praying on the situation??? Praying for what? You have come in between two BROTHERS! FAMILY!

Leave it alone - walk away. The whole story is centered around you and what you want. That's selfishness. Did you ever think about the feelings of the guys that you are dealing with and how that would affect their relationship?

You were so concerned about the younger brothers age but do you realize that what you did was immature? Age doesn't compare to Maturity. I have no advice all I can say is good luck!

 

[kayte]

I say this with kindness......
your actions are not of love...therefore this is not love
ironically the 21 year old is showing more maturity than you are beloved

I can identify what I see and that is a deliberate triangle initated and furthered by ..you
since this is not love-motivated ....my guess is...there will be no conscience involved merely...impulse(s)

here's the thing...consider carefully ..it might not feel there will be a metaphysical bill
handed to you when all is done...that is because you are thinking with ..the groin and not the heart ...but you will wind up paying for this

my advice is like the others .....walk away from what you started...
you still have time ..before irreparable damage is done
glad you posted here....that was brave and the beginning of doing the right
thing....
keep praying... I know God will reveal right answers..you already know somehow
that this is not of God and not blessed

something else to consider ..as there's anger not love in the actions you've expressed..
step back and ask what am I REALLY angry about .....
OP you can walk away from this ....there a million guys out there
so...what's going on..with you...are you hurting over something

when I used to get crazy and want to start trouble
one of my best male friends....wld say
Kayte I'd marry you if you weren't crazy
you need to roll in red paint or sing a poem..or somepin

think abt it OP

 

[ebonylocs]

You're not in love with either of them.

The older one you've never met. And the younger one is not what you want, so you've treated him badly.

 

[discobiscuits]

ahhhh sibling rivalry.....which brother will win fair maiden's hand?

OR will fair maiden's (in)actions create a permanent wedge between two brothers?

 

[Rastafarai]

It's called infatuation, and you should leave it be.

BTW, where is the older brother currently located?

 

[Much2much41]

I don't think you're in love at all. You're caught up in the excitement of being desired by two brothers. No offense, but I think what you're doing is mean spirited. I'm sure you wouldn't want a man doing that to you and your sister (or female relative of yours). There are enough men out here to date w/o causing problems between two brothers. Seek love elsewhere.

 

[BrownEyez22]

I agree with the ladies that told you to walk away. You don't love either of these men.

I could possibly (and this is a stretch) see how you could've told the younger brother you had a problem with the age difference and him being a guy he probably wouldn't have a problem with introducing you to his older brother.

But the fact that you switched back to the younger brother when the older one became too inconvenient (expensive) shows how interested you truly were.

If you really liked the older brother you would've been on instant messenger, brought at $50 webcam, wrote some emails or letters, did something to stay in touch with him. So given how easily you stopped talking to him shows how deep your "love" really was.

Like I said before you don't love any of these guys and should just walk away and stop being self-fish before it gets really messy. Good-Luck.

 

[CandiceC]

You're not in love with either of them.

The older one you've never met. And the younger one is not what you want, so you've treated him badly.

I agree. You're not in love with either. I think you're caught up in the drama of it all.

 

[bimbabe]

OP...the stuff you are talking about only works in movies like Soul Food. Otherwise it is heartbreak and drama and animosity for all involved.

Keep on stepping....Mr. Right will come along.

 

[blasianbeauty]

umm...no ma'am. This entire story is beyond ridiculous. You messed up by even considering dating the older brother when you saw his pic. You think it's ok to get down like that?

 

[treybaby2005]

umm...no ma'am. This entire story is beyond ridiculous. You messed up by even considering dating the older brother when you saw his pic. You think it's ok to get down like that?

Exactly.I wish I could thank you twice.What if this situation was turned around and your little young thing wanted you and your sister.This story is awful.Pray for your selfishness.