I swear sometimes men drive me crazy (VENT)

[glamazon386]

This guy just really pissed me off. I met this police officer last Wednesday. I was walking to Chipotle to get lunch and he stopped me. He seemed nice enough. We chatted for a few mins and we exchanged numbers. He asked if he could take me on a lunch date on Sunday. I told him I would let him know.

He calls me and we confirm and decide on a restaurant. Then he kept calling too much and I asked him to slow his roll. I talked to him for a bit last night when I was on my way to work. When we got off the phone he said alright I'll call you tommorow around 1 or 1:30 so you can give me directions and I can meet you. (He lives in Montgomery County which is maybe 45 mins away from me.)

So today 1:00 comes... 1:30 comes. I hear nothing from this man. Once I didn't hear from him by 2 or so I figured it was off and I didn't even bother to get dressed. Why did he just call me at 9:00 talking about what happened to you earlier? I thought we were gonna meet up for dinner around 3 or 4 why didn't you call me? I've been sitting around waiting all day for your call. WTF?!?!? I said to him wait a minute, you told me you were going to call me. And where did 3 or 4 come from? You said 1 or 1:30. Hence a LUNCH DATE. Then he asks what I'm doing now. I told him it was 9:00 at night and I'm busy now. I asked him a few questions and he continues to fumble through them with his answers. Just lying all over the place.

Then he blurts out Oh well I had to take my son to Chuck E Cheese. (He told me he had a son yesterday and I raised an eyebrow at that but I said I'm not gonna write him off just for that alone. Not yet anyway. But I generally do not talk to people who have kids for that very reason.) I asked him why couldn't he just call me and say something came up can we reschedule? He goes on and says Sorry and that we can get together tommorow or Tuesday since he's off. He says he'll call me tommorow around such and such time so we can set something up in advance. I asked him why couldn't he set it up in advance now that we're on the phone. He said that's what I'm trying to do. I said no you're not. You know what I don't even want to be bothered. Don't call me anymore. Good bye. And I hung up.

By that point I was just annoyed and wanted to get off the phone. My time is valuable and if you don't have the common courtesy to call me and tell me you need to reschedule then I don't have time for you. I understand things come up, but he didn't have a problem blowing my phone up the past few days. And now all the sudden today when we're supposed to go out he's MIA. I'm not buying it. And this is why I hate men...

 

[MizzBrown]

Hee Hee! I love hearing about bad *** dating stories! Makes me feel like I am not alone.

Men are so dumb. And what is he doing lying when he's a police officer? LOL He should have SOME kind of morals in that department.

You dodged a bullet girl! Good luck next time. That was my laugh for the night.

 

[Ms Red]

You have every right to feel the way you do.

 

[glamazon386]

Hee Hee! I love hearing about bad *** dating stories! Makes me feel like I am not alone.

Men are so dumb. And what is he doing lying when he's a police officer? LOL He should have SOME kind of morals in that department.

You dodged a bullet girl! Good luck next time. That was my laugh for the night.

Right. That's why I don't even feel like being bothered half the time. He knew he was wrong and then tried to call me and make it seem like it was my fault. He probably was mad when I hung up on him but ahh well.

 

[Maynard]

Right. That's why I don't even feel like being bothered half the time. He knew he was wrong and then tried to call me and make it seem like it was my fault. He probably was mad when I hung up on him but ahh well.

I dont know why, but its funny as heck to me that you hung up on him!!!

 

[MzLady78]

I hear you girl. Always with the games.

But you know what, I'm actually starting to develop an appreciation for guys who knock themselves out of the box early on. That's just less of my time that gets wasted.

 

[glamazon386]

I dont know why, but its funny as heck to me that you hung up on him!!!

I do not have a problem hanging up on people who are wasting my time. I don't even know if he was saying anything. I just was like GOODBYE. CLICK. He didn't call back. I wouldn't be surprised if he calls again though. If he does, I'm just gonna hit the Ignore button on him. I actually have fun doing that to people I don't want to talk to.

 

[Maynard]

I do not have a problem hanging up on people who are wasting my time. I don't even know if he was saying anything. I just was like GOODBYE. CLICK. He didn't call back. I wouldn't be surprised if he calls again though. If he does, I'm just gonna hit the Ignore button on him. I actually have fun doing that to people I don't want to talk to.

LMAO! I used to change their name to

"DNA"​

WHich stood for Do Not Answer

Men will blow up your phone, especially when they "dont get" why you dont want to talk to them..

 

[glamazon386]

LMAO! I used to change their name to

"DNA"​

WHich stood for Do Not Answer

Men will blow up your phone, especially when they "dont get" why you dont want to talk to them..

DNA looks better than Do Not Answer. I need to change some entries.

 

[MizzBrown]

GLAM,

I wanna know how in the hell you are finding guys WITHOUT kids. You said you raised an eyebrow when he mentioned he had kids.

I can recall ONE guy that I flat out asked him "Do you have kids?" which is now my routine lineup question and i just got sick of every guy having kids so i flat out said NO! and smiled and walked away. That was the only time i rejected someone for having kids.

How do you avoid it? Cause I can't. 98% of the guys i meet have kid(s). It's getting annoying and I am NOT getting any younger so the pickings are getting slimmer and slimmer.

How are you finding dates w/o kids?

 

[sky_blu]

Im glad you did what you did. I wish I wouldve just cut guys off right there when they did stupid stuff like that. Guys are idiots!

 

[glamazon386]

GLAM,

I wanna know how in the hell you are finding guys WITHOUT kids. You said you raised an eyebrow when he mentioned he had kids.

I can recall ONE guy that I flat out asked him "Do you have kids?" which is now my routine lineup question and i just got sick of every guy having kids so i flat out said NO! and smiled and walked away. That was the only time i rejected someone for having kids.

How do you avoid it? Cause I can't. 98% of the guys i meet have kid(s). It's getting annoying and I am NOT getting any younger so the pickings are getting slimmer and slimmer.

How are you finding dates w/o kids?

Usually when I meet people the first things I ask are: If they're single, how old they are, and do they have kids. And usually if they say they have kids I'll tell them I don't date men with kids and that's that. But I forgot to ask the other day because he was on patrol and had to go. We only talked for a few mins. I didn't even think about it until yesterday he says my son something something... And I was like son? He was like yeah he's 4 years old. I kind of wanted to say I changed my mind about going out with him then but I figured I'd at least go out with him once and see.

I've found that it depends on the type of man it is. Most of the younger guys around here have one. I don't get approached by them that often though because they think I'm older. None of the men I've actually dated have kids. Or had kids at the time. I've had a few people come back into my life after a period of time with a child and I had to tell them sorry. A few of those no's really hurt too. I just couldn't do it.

I do think it gets worse as you get older though. My roomate said at this point she can't really be picky anymore. Most people her age at least have one.

 

[laCriolla]

LMAO! I used to change their name to

"DNA"​

WHich stood for Do Not Answer

Men will blow up your phone, especially when they "dont get" why you dont want to talk to them..

OOOH GOOD ONE!

seems like OP dodged a bullet. I think you did the right thing, girl!

 

[Bunny77]

GLAM,

I wanna know how in the hell you are finding guys WITHOUT kids. You said you raised an eyebrow when he mentioned he had kids.

I can recall ONE guy that I flat out asked him "Do you have kids?" which is now my routine lineup question and i just got sick of every guy having kids so i flat out said NO! and smiled and walked away. That was the only time i rejected someone for having kids.

How do you avoid it? Cause I can't. 98% of the guys i meet have kid(s). It's getting annoying and I am NOT getting any younger so the pickings are getting slimmer and slimmer.

How are you finding dates w/o kids?

This topic came up on another board because someone asked the same question. I don't date men with kids either and I rarely meet men with kids.

On the other board, we kinda figured that if you live near a bigger city, you're more likely to meet men without kids. This woman (who said she only met men with kids) lived in Virginia. She said I was a "city slicker," so maybe it just depends on the area.

But yeah, I'm 30, date men mostly over 30 and they don't have kids. Hasn't really been a problem for me.

 

[caligirl]

1. You lost me at "police officer."
2. Sounds like he was just trying to hit it, calling you at 9pm and asking what are you doing.

 

[msmills2U]

I feel you on your vent 100%. I tried dating men with kids ( I don't have any) and it got to be to much. When they need a last minute excuse for their incompetence they sometimes (most of the time) use the kids as an excuse.

Hang in there.

 

[glamazon386]

1. You lost me at "police officer."
2. Sounds like he was just trying to hit it, calling you at 9pm and asking what are you doing.

To #1 - He isn't the first police officer I talked to. There's another one I kept in contact with from when I used to work at the courthouse. He used to come into my unit all the time. He's a nice man (very attractive with no kids I might add) but was a little too old for me. For some reason I meet a lot of PO's and lawyers. I met a lawyer at happy hour the week before that I've been chatting up.

To #2 - I wouldn't put it past him. These men out here are a trip. I just found it funny he's been blowing up my phone in the middle of the day every day since I met him and now all the sudden today when we have plans he wants to be MIA. Go figure?

 

[MizzBrown]

This topic came up on another board because someone asked the same question. I don't date men with kids either and I rarely meet men with kids.

On the other board, we kinda figured that if you live near a bigger city, you're more likely to meet men without kids. This woman (who said she only met men with kids) lived in Virginia. She said I was a "city slicker," so maybe it just depends on the area.

But yeah, I'm 30, date men mostly over 30 and they don't have kids. Hasn't really been a problem for me.

Well maybe i keep attracting the ones that do have kids or something. I must have an invisible sign on my forehead. I used to have a NO KIDS policy but then realized i'm just one "ooops" away from being a single mother myself so i can't judge as harshly.

And is it just me or do the ones who have the kids just as cocky as the ones who don't. I wanna tell them all the time. YOU should be lucky you found ME. I'm an asset! Rarity! Diamond in the rough! You coming at me with one strike on the board so watch yo mouth!

One thing i've noticed getting older is that the guy w/ the kids will have older kids...probably cause i like to date older men..so a lot of them have been 12yrs old and UP....The closer to age 18 the better IMO so i won't have to deal w/ them that much.

 

[Cloud06]

Remember those red flags men send up right off the bat. That's one that passive aggressive -ish! the blame game then the wrong time scenario then lastly admittance of the truth. SAD! we gots to do better! Lol!

 

[tocktick]

i think your approach is very good. you do not tolerate bs and i think that that filters out a lot of the idiots from the start. every woman should be out when they start seeing red flags. just be glad you're not the woman who got caught up in a relationship with this flaky dude. good luck to him in the future when trying to get into a relationship. however, the sad thing is, there are women who do not value their own time and will still meet dude whenever he says instead of realising he's really not worth it.

 

[HoneyA]

You see I put a stop to that sort of crap a long time ago. I used to see this guy from Sudan years ago. The man was GORGEOUS. Anyway he'd tell me he's coming to meet me at 4:00pm and he wouldn't show up til 9:00pm and this happened more than once by the way. He never called to say he was going to be late, never had a good enough excuse (playing play station with the guys is not a good enough excuse). Yet whatever excuse he came up with, I'd be like okay ...la la la...life is good in Never Never land because he was a sweet guy generally. Anyway, I finally came to my senses (it took a while admittedly) and stopped seeing him. Be aware girl, your guy will probably do that crap again too if you let him. Some men have no concept of common courtesy, and what is unacceptable. If he's like this now, he'll be a nightmare to handle in a relationship or "serious" dating.

Guys who have children are a no no for me. I am just not dealing with them, their children or more importantly their baby mama drama! Forget that!

 

[Bunny77]

Well maybe i keep attracting the ones that do have kids or something. I must have an invisible sign on my forehead. I used to have a NO KIDS policy but then realized i'm just one "ooops" away from being a single mother myself so i can't judge as harshly.

And is it just me or do the ones who have the kids just as cocky as the ones who don't. I wanna tell them all the time. YOU should be lucky you found ME. I'm an asset! Rarity! Diamond in the rough! You coming at me with one strike on the board so watch yo mouth!

I don't know if you're referring to an individual situation you went through, but in general, I don't believe that anyone is just one "oops" away from being a single mother just because they had sex.

If you use condoms, some other BC or both, you'd have to have quite a few "oopses" happen to you before you became a single mother!

Anyway, my only point is, if you don't want to date a man with kids, then go back to your NO KIDS policy! It's not about judging harshly or whatever... it's YOUR life, you deserve what you want and the thing is, you're a childless woman (oopses or not), so if you want a childless man, then hold out for one!!!!

And yes, I am seeing that men with kids are just as cocky as the men without kids! I didn't understand this until my ex went to the mall once with his baby nephew and he said a lot of women were giving him positive looks.

He was tempted to tell them that the boy was his son. I remember saying, "Uh, why would you do that?" He looked at me like, "Duh, why wouldn't I?" I was really confused because I was thinking, I'd probably have looked past you if I saw you with a kid.

He said that in his experience, women will think that if he's good with his own kid, it's proof that he'll be a good father if they end up having his kids in the future.

I guess, but I'm thinking, damn, has it come to this????

I swear, men think that just because they're single and paying attention to us, that WE should act soooo excited that they showed us some attention. Yeah right, I don't think so!

 

[glamazon386]

I don't know if you're referring to an individual situation you went through, but in general, I don't believe that anyone is just one "oops" away from being a single mother just because they had sex.

If you use condoms, some other BC or both, you'd have to have quite a few "oopses" happen to you before you became a single mother!

Anyway, my only point is, if you don't want to date a man with kids, then go back to your NO KIDS policy! It's not about judging harshly or whatever... it's YOUR life, you deserve what you want and the thing is, you're a childless woman (oopses or not), so if you want a childless man, then hold out for one!!!!

And yes, I am seeing that men with kids are just as cocky as the men without kids! I didn't understand this until my ex went to the mall once with his baby nephew and he said a lot of women were giving him positive looks.

He was tempted to tell them that the boy was his son. I remember saying, "Uh, why would you do that?" He looked at me like, "Duh, why wouldn't I?" I was really confused because I was thinking, I'd probably have looked past you if I saw you with a kid.

He said that in his experience, women will think that if he's good with his own kid, it's proof that he'll be a good father if they end up having his kids in the future.

I guess, but I'm thinking, damn, has it come to this????

I swear, men think that just because they're single and paying attention to us, that WE should act soooo excited that they showed us some attention. Yeah right, I don't think so!

I am not surprised by this.

 

[laCriolla]

He said that in his experience, women will think that if he's good with his own kid, it's proof that he'll be a good father if they end up having his kids in the future.

I guess, but I'm thinking, damn, has it come to this????

I swear, men think that just because they're single and paying attention to us, that WE should act soooo excited that they showed us some attention. Yeah right, I don't think so!

for real! and who are these women ? I don't know any women who act like this

 

[glamazon386]

for real! and who are these women ? I don't know any women who act like this

They're out there. When I worked at the courthouse and they were transporting prisoners down the hallway in shackles I heard women trying to holla. So I'm sure a man with a child wouldn't be off limits. Prisoners would also try and hit on you as you walked by. I would just act like I didn't hear them talking.

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

Men are a trip. I started seeing this guy who kept refering to his lil ni**a, I thought it sounded weird to call another grown man lil, but hey I was new in the country and figured that's what they call each other here.

Three months roll by and we still see each other every now and then. He is definately no husband material, but good company. Well three months into dating this man, he shows up on a date with a little boy and I thought it was his nephew or something..uh-huh THAT was the lil ni**a he was talking about . Three months and i didn't realize he had refered to his son all along...HOW IN THE HE** can you call your little son a ni**a????
Needless to say I left within five mins.

Why do men lie about stuff all the time??? And usually it's just petty thinks (not the son though, that's major) but they make a huge deal out of nothing...

I have given up, I don't ask questions any more and my bf doesn't tell and it works perfectly...not that he is the lying type, but just to keep ish simple.

Sorry for the long rant...lol

 

[Theo]

1. You lost me at "police officer."
2. Sounds like he was just trying to hit it, calling you at 9pm and asking what are you doing.

That's exactly what I thinking, but I didn't want to say anything, because a lot of people tell me I'm too cynical.

 

[cocoberry10]

This story is crazy. He's probably a really nice guy, who is also very passive. And he probably feels like since you didn't want him to call you so much, he would (nicely) wait for you to call him

Ugh, can't win either way these days! Where are the confident, self-assured, yet not jerkish guys anymore?????

 

[glamazon386]

This story is crazy. He's probably a really nice guy, who is also very passive. And he probably feels like since you didn't want him to call you so much, he would (nicely) wait for you to call him

Ugh, can't win either way these days! Where are the confident, self-assured, yet not jerkish guys anymore?????

Girl IDK.

 

[DaPPeR]

I hear you girl. Always with the games.

But you know what, I'm actually starting to develop an appreciation for guys who knock themselves out of the box early on. That's just less of my time that gets wasted.

ITA with this..I mean its good he played his lame *** game early. Less of your precious time gone down the drain. Girl I keep it skippin the moment I hear "my son or daughter".. I'm anti-baby daddy. I know my mind will change once I finally have mine.