I said "no"...and she pulls out the scissors...

[AstroQueen77]

I would be soo pissed! Im usually not assertive, but when it comes to my hair, my blood boils! There are seriously some jealous hating as stylists! Thats the only reason I could think of for them to cut your damn hair when you said no! I would walk out without paying a dime!

 

[MrsHouston]

I'm glad you shared this story with us. My stylist is very adamant about trimming my hair every relaxer because she claims it will grow my hair faster. However, everytime she trims, I look like I got a big cut! I used to go to her every 2 weeks, but since I joined LHCF back in January '08, I haven't been back to her since my last relaxer. When I go back next month for a touch up, I want to make it clear to her that I don't want a trim. My concerns is that she will try to bash me, or even go against my wishes and trim my hair. This thread helped me realize that I have to stand my guard and make sure that she does not trim, no matter what. The lesson learned from this thread is to make it "plain as day" clear that you do not want a trim. Great thread! And your hair still looks beautiful!

You can also call ahead of time and talk to the stylist (if you feel intimidated) letting her know that you just want a relaxer and NOT a trim even if she feels you need one after looking at your hair. Sometimes getting all the details out before you sit down in the chair is best.

The bottom line is that if a stylist bullies you, make you feel intimated, doesn't do want you ask...you probably need to stop going there. There is always someone else who would LOVE to have your money and do only what you ask.

HTH

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

Your hair still great girl-Thank God!!
When I opened this thread I thought it was another story of one of us falling in the hands of a scissor happy stylist. I agree with everyone else-your stylist is a little questionable now that she trimmed your hair without saying anything. I think she's getting too comfortable with you.

This thread just reaffirmed something that has been boiling within me for a long time- I must learn how to straighten and trim my own hair!!!!

No more salons.

 

[Chromia]

There comes a time when we all have our breaking points. That moment when we say enough is enough.

I remember I had a horrible salon experience that I posted here and one of the members here said to me: “If you can't speak up, you shouldn't go to hairdressers. It seems to me like it's not the hairdressers that are the problem, it's the fact that you won't stand up for yourself, because it keeps happening!”

It was that kind of tough love statement that I needed. I realize that if what I say isn’t respected or I am not consulted about something that is occurring to me then that is a violation of any kind of trust I may have for you. If I entrust you with my hair, I am doing so with the belief that one you have my hair’s best wishes in mind, and two that you will do as I have requested.

I don’t like going to a salon like a drill sergeant with a bunch of orders that I bark out and strict instructions that the stylist must adhere to, and watching them like hawks for potential mishaps. To me the whole experience should be relaxing. I should be able to go and know my hair is in capable hands. If I have to be on guard and paranoid over every step then that clearly means that this isn’t going to be a pleasant experience.

Some people don’t mind doing this because they are after the end result. For others, it becomes tiring and motivation enough to find someone you trust who can do the procedure to your liking or to just try to learn to do it on your own. But again it all comes down to that breaking point and everyone has one. God bless you all.

Exactly. I reached my breaking point last year. Going to a salon is supposed to be a relaxing, pleasurable experience. Instead we have to be on guard with so many stylists. I felt tense and nervous with my former stylist. It's terrible when you pay someone who makes you feel that way.

You can also call ahead of time and talk to the stylist (if you feel intimidated) letting her know that you just want a relaxer and NOT a trim even if she feels you need one after looking at your hair. Sometimes getting all the details out before you sit down in the chair is best.

The bottom line is that if a stylist bullies you, make you feel intimated, doesn't do want you ask...you probably need to stop going there. There is always someone else who would LOVE to have your money and do only what you ask.

HTH

That's right. When I went to my former stylist I felt like I was back in grammar school being bullied by the tough girls, or a bad child being yelled at by a teacher.

 

[miami74]

You can also call ahead of time and talk to the stylist (if you feel intimidated) letting her know that you just want a relaxer and NOT a trim even if she feels you need one after looking at your hair. Sometimes getting all the details out before you sit down in the chair is best.

The bottom line is that if a stylist bullies you, make you feel intimated, doesn't do want you ask...you probably need to stop going there. There is always someone else who would LOVE to have your money and do only what you ask.

HTH

Good idea. Thanks.

 

[zzirvingj]

Girlfriend, you already KNOW how I am feeling right now ...yes, your hair is absolutely gorgeous as always but how DARE her cut your hair after you specifically told her N-O. What's up with that? I mean, why is this such an issue with stylists? I mean, It is MY hair, I am paying YOU to do what I ask, I have been the one taking care of it these past years to get it to the length it is...NOT YOU! Ugh! I had to vent myself on that one . Okay, I am happy again, beautiful hair lady!

Thanks for the empathy girl....the bolded/red part above describes EXACTLY how "I" feel as well

 

[zzirvingj]

OMG. I am so sorry that happened to you. See that's why I hate going to shops, they always want to tell you what they think your hair needs.

After reading this post (a few days ago), I had a dream that I had finally gotten to BSL and I decided to get a relaxer at a salon. I specifically told the stylist not to let a scissor touch a single strand of my hair. So she of course tried to bully me into getting a trim, but I was like hell to the no! And I told her I ain't paying for no d*mn trim neither. So she blows my hair and she tries to dscretely pull out some scissors. I hopped out of that chair so fast, threw her $ at her and said, "Here's the $ for the relaxer. I told you I wasn't paying for no trim. I can take it from here with MY hair!" I woke up laughing so hard, like LHCF has crept into my dreams at night.

LOL!! That's just how serious this hair business is!

 

[zzirvingj]

Your hair still great girl-Thank God!!
When I opened this thread I thought it was another story of one of us falling in the hands of a scissor happy stylist. I agree with everyone else-your stylist is a little questionable now that she trimmed your hair without saying anything. I think she's getting too comfortable with you.

This thread just reaffirmed something that has been boiling within me for a long time- I must learn how to straighten and trim my own hair!!!!

No more salons.

Yes!! I feel the EXACT same way. I had even asked my stylist what products she used when she did this treatment on my hair, and what brand/model blow dryer because I soooo want to be able to do this myself one day....SOON!

I mean, I own a maxiglide and all but I just DO NOT get my own hair straight like they do in the salon. But experiences like this are a reminder to me that I need to be focusing time and attention on learning how to do this myself...

 

[ACRawlins]

Your hair looks great and probably needed just a little trim for health reasons.

My stylist, whom I love, is really into hair care and styling so she's the bomb all the way around. For all new clients, she insists on a consultation before an hair appointment is made and she will not do anyone's hair who doesn't agree with her methodologies. As she puts it, hair is art and her clients are walking billboards for her and she wouldn't dare send a head out of her chair if it didn't meet her strict standards. That in mind, I can imagine why stylists kick up dust sometimes when clients don't let them do their job.

 

[Kiynwah]

. It is your hair, you pay her, and you tip her - she is providing a service, and she needs to know that if you didn't ask for it, you don't want it.

SOOOO true! Stylists need to realize who is keeping them in business... the customers! If a customer doesn't want it, then END OF STORY. It's not your place to whip scissors out BEHIND THEIR BACK, literallY!!

My pet peeve is when a stylist person tells you what you should do / wear.

One time, a Chinese lady doing my nails practically refused to paint my nails the color I wanted because, she said, "the light pink color doesn't suit your skin". Imagine!!! "Doesn't suit my skin??!?!?!?" What the heezy!! JUST DO YOUR JOB> No one wants your opinion unless you are asked for it!

Another time I was in a department store and this lady told me that I shouldn't buy this brand of Chanel perfume because "I was too young for it."

I will buy, order, and ask for what i want when I am paying for it!!!! AND PAYING YOUR TIP!!!!!

I totally agree that many service people take advantage of you if you look young. Just because I'm 20 doesn't make you my mom.

This is the exact reason I stopped going to salons about 8 years ago.... this very reason.

 

[Kiynwah]

This story is just bringing up such bad memories of trigger happy stylists. the way I see it, a stylist's job is to make their customers happy. if they want to create works of art, they can go into creative hair design for a magazine, or be an independent artist. My hair is for ME, for ME to like. Not the stylists. I can appreciate them wanting to do a good job, but the definition of good job is defined by the client!!! GOSH. At the end of the day, they are the ones losing business. Not me!

 

[fattyfatfat]

Im sorry that happened to you OP *hugs*

a few months ago my hair was shoulder length. I asked for a TRIM at the salon. Do you know this ***** took me to ear length?! all I saw was RED. I wanted to punch her in the face. I asked for a trim and she basically did what she wanted. that was the last time I stepped foot in her salon. I recently went to another salon where all I heard was "you need a trim" aka she wanted to cut my hair and my progress off . one of these days I will find a stylist who LISTENS TO ME!

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

I'm sorry this happen to you, but seriously you should have put your foot down, if I told a stylist not to cut my hair and she did, I would get crazy and act a damn fool.....BECAUSE.....you already told her no, so she's not listening to you. She's trying to charge you more money by telling you WHAT SHE THINKS you need, Only you know what your hair needs. And by her cutting your hair and not listening to you, I kinda felt like when reading your story, that she didn't care. When my stylist ask me if I want a trim, I say no, next time and she doesn't cut or ask me again. I mean it's your hair......people probably would tell you it's not that serious, but to me from reading your story, I felt like she didn't respect your decision and that she did whatever she wanted to.

But anyways, your hair still looks great and very thick, and I like it....... I hope you feel better......I know that feeling of cutting your hair and wanting it back like the next day.

 

[AsianAfricanPrincess]

I think you have to be more stern with this stylist. When you asked if she was cutting it and she had the audacity to reply with an irritated "yes", that's when that conversation should have ended and I think you should have immediately told her "I said, "don't cut it" and I mean it".

I would've left her chair and her salon and she would've learned to not cross me like that. How disrespectful and obnoxious...

ETA: I'd advise not going back to her, either. Many of the ladies here do their own trips and maybe their feedback/advice might be helpful to you.

 

[beans4reezy]

No means no. I have my own hair appointment is in 6 weeks and if I tell a heifer not cut my hair and she is pulling out some shears to do what I asked her NOT TO, then I am waiting right out. Gosh, I am getting nervous already about my appointment