weaveologist
New Member
I just had a revelation! This may be something that should have been obvious to me, but sometimes you need to hear/read things in a certain way to get it.
So the SO and I have been off and on for three and a half years. Initially me and the SO were just friends; PLATONIC true friends. Now, like the emotional creature that I am, I got attached to this attractive, financially stable young man who is always around me because he considers me his “best friend”. So what do I do??? Start “coloring” with him and the “coloring” had the nerve to be GREAT
! So what do I do in result??? Start professing my love like a freakin’ idiot! This was three and half years ago. When I met him he told me that he was not the relationship type and could not see himself settling down. I took that for what it was and THOUGHT that I was not trying to change him. Of course as I stuck around playing both the “best friend” and “coloring” role, we got closer and though he would claim me as his “girl” or “SO” it was never really there for me. The intimacy and the emotion were always missing. Though I was not ready at that specific moment to walk down the aisle, he knows that I am not one to be in a relationship with someone for umpteen years, so he knew if he wanted to continue with me any further, marriage was in order eventually. So he went from “not being ready for a relationship” to talking about getting married next year, but still, something is missing. And here is where the revelation took place
! I have been in the How Long Is Too Long thread and that’s when it hit me! I have been trying to fill a position that was never hiring in the first place. I use a supervisor/employee analogy because that best helps me understand where I went terribly wrong. Now here I am ready and willing to fill a position. Though I am not ready for marriage right now this minute, I am ready to start actively working towards that. So I have been looking to fill the “girlfriend” position. But for the past three and a half years I have been submitting my application to a negroid that ain’t hiring! But because I have so many qualifications of a great employee, he allowed me to do volunteer work. This satisfied him greatly because he was able to get the benefits of an employee without having to hire one on paper, but I was terribly unsatisified because I was looking for full-time work along with benefits. But as a volunteer worker there is no benefits. No 401K, no health insurance, no dental, none of that!
I need to move on to a company that’s open for hire
! A company that’s looking to fill the position that I feel life’s experiences have qualified me to fill! I can't keep sitting around waiting for this company to get rid of its managerial issues so that it can then be ready to start hiring! And because this guy isn’t hiring or doesn’t want to hire me, it doesn’t make him a bad person. Nor does my inability to make him want to hire me despite his non-need of an employee at this time make me a bad person. That doesn’t lessen my qualifications. On paper I’m still the bomb. He just ain’t hiring!
Further more when a man is ready to start hiring, like any company, HE will put out there that he is seeking to fill a position! I (women) won't have to "figure out" if he is hiring nor will we have to wait.--- Ooo I'm preachin'!
So the SO and I have been off and on for three and a half years. Initially me and the SO were just friends; PLATONIC true friends. Now, like the emotional creature that I am, I got attached to this attractive, financially stable young man who is always around me because he considers me his “best friend”. So what do I do??? Start “coloring” with him and the “coloring” had the nerve to be GREAT
! So what do I do in result??? Start professing my love like a freakin’ idiot! This was three and half years ago. When I met him he told me that he was not the relationship type and could not see himself settling down. I took that for what it was and THOUGHT that I was not trying to change him. Of course as I stuck around playing both the “best friend” and “coloring” role, we got closer and though he would claim me as his “girl” or “SO” it was never really there for me. The intimacy and the emotion were always missing. Though I was not ready at that specific moment to walk down the aisle, he knows that I am not one to be in a relationship with someone for umpteen years, so he knew if he wanted to continue with me any further, marriage was in order eventually. So he went from “not being ready for a relationship” to talking about getting married next year, but still, something is missing. And here is where the revelation took place! I have been in the How Long Is Too Long thread and that’s when it hit me! I have been trying to fill a position that was never hiring in the first place. I use a supervisor/employee analogy because that best helps me understand where I went terribly wrong. Now here I am ready and willing to fill a position. Though I am not ready for marriage right now this minute, I am ready to start actively working towards that. So I have been looking to fill the “girlfriend” position. But for the past three and a half years I have been submitting my application to a negroid that ain’t hiring! But because I have so many qualifications of a great employee, he allowed me to do volunteer work. This satisfied him greatly because he was able to get the benefits of an employee without having to hire one on paper, but I was terribly unsatisified because I was looking for full-time work along with benefits. But as a volunteer worker there is no benefits. No 401K, no health insurance, no dental, none of that! I need to move on to a company that’s open for hire
! A company that’s looking to fill the position that I feel life’s experiences have qualified me to fill! I can't keep sitting around waiting for this company to get rid of its managerial issues so that it can then be ready to start hiring! And because this guy isn’t hiring or doesn’t want to hire me, it doesn’t make him a bad person. Nor does my inability to make him want to hire me despite his non-need of an employee at this time make me a bad person. That doesn’t lessen my qualifications. On paper I’m still the bomb. He just ain’t hiring!Further more when a man is ready to start hiring, like any company, HE will put out there that he is seeking to fill a position! I (women) won't have to "figure out" if he is hiring nor will we have to wait.--- Ooo I'm preachin'!
What kind of employee are you?
I was thinking about my OP all weekend when this descripiton of relationships came to me in relation to my analogy. So here we go!:
Volunteer: The volunteer provides services free of charge. Many men seek only volunteer services. Though the volunteer or volunteer seeker may be gaining practice for knowledge in future employement, the volunteer seeks or requires no pay or benefits. This is your "buss-down" or "hoar". Baby mamas can fit into this catagory because mistakes do happen during sex.
Part-Time Employee: A part-time relationship is your off and on relationship. Pay and benefits are gained and/or given, but not as much as full-time employment. Again, baby mamas can fit into this catagory because mistakes do happen during sex.
The TEMP: The temp is the category that many women fall into. The temp provides all services required by the "company"; "coloring", supportive, loving, caring, cooks, cleans....These services are rendered because the company is not hiring but gives the temp the notion that when upon hiring, she will be hired. In many instances, the temp is bombarded by an applicant that comes out of no where and takes her full-time position. Also in many cases the temp gets tired of waiting for the company to start hiring, so she then seeks and gains employment from another company.
Again, baby mamas can fit into this catagory because mistakes do happen during sex.
FULL-TIME Employment/Partnership: This is girlfriend/SO/marriage relationship level. All pay and benefits are reflected that of a full-time employee or partnership. Full-time relationships are on a consistent incline to partnership (marriage) status.
Again, baby mamas can fit into this catagory because mistakes do happen during sex. But in this position, you are not called a "baby mama", you are his "girlfriend" or "wife".
Which employee are you?
Last edited:
erplexed
