PrissiSippi
Simply Komplex
I've been in a relationship for 5/6 months with a very wonderful man. We have a lot in common, he is educated, has a great job, is attentive, caring, affectionate, takes me out of dates, has extended invitations for me to meet his parents/friends, and he has met my friends.
All my friends love him. They've been through the bumpy road of my relationships and they are so happy I have finally found a man that loves me for me, doesn't take me for granted, and is 100% into me.
Now here's the kicker. The problem is me. I criticize everything he does. He's a million times better than the losers I'm accustomed too but I've told him to his face he's lame, he's boring, he's an oddball, he needs more friends, and he's sheltered. It seems like if he doesn't fit my mold of what I do and what I like...I criticize him kind of like a middle school bully. Weirdly this is the lifestyle I said I always wanted. I said I didn't want to ever have to wonder where my man was. I said I wanted a man who spent a lot of time with me and was very affectionate. I got that but when he does it...I take it as "weak".
He's the type that has grown up with strict parents and in a rural area. Because of this he is very career focused but he doesn't have many friends. Especially NO friends that are males and since he is now in a relationship he doesn't hang with his female friends. He is the type that likes anime, comic con, drawing, bowling, that gothic nerdy type stuff and I HATE it since I'm the type that is totally fashion, girly, likes GQ men blah blah blah
I come down on him for little stuff for instance I feel like he doesn't speak up for himself and I wonder if he would speak up for me. For instance, we had a date where our service was horrible. It took an hour just to get our food and then he forgot silverware. I asked my bf to go tell the waiter we were unsatisfied. My bf looked like a 7 year old going to get a switch. He walked soooo slowly like he is unable to address problems to other people. He just lets everything slide. That makes me think if someone disrespect me he would let it "slide". He told me I was just complaining and he was reared in a way not to complain about stuff a restaurant cannot control. And he wasn't bothered by the fact our food was late. I told him it's not the fact of me being bothered by my food being late per se, it more the fact I am PAYING for a service that I expect to be given to me. I will let you know if I feel like I've been treated unfairly.
I criticize him on little things that I guess don't matter much...but in my head they are big. For instance: He told me he's only mowed the grass twice in his life, his dad has always done it. He told me he doesn't do his own laundry his mom does it. When something breaks down on his car he is so quick to call his dad and ask what's wrong. He knows nothing about cars or even how to grill...I think those are manly attributes. I hate how he "thinks" he eats healthy and his mom is great at planning meals but before he met me he never ate wheat bread and they eat fried foods a lot. I hate the fact he's slightly messy. (You see my point I just criticize EVERYTHING)
I really do love our time together, and want to work on our relationship, but I need help loving him for who he is instead of somebody I'm trying to change him into the person I want him to be. I am tired of the bad guys and thugs that treat me as some sideline and don't value my worth...but I just don't act like it. What to do?
All my friends love him. They've been through the bumpy road of my relationships and they are so happy I have finally found a man that loves me for me, doesn't take me for granted, and is 100% into me.
Now here's the kicker. The problem is me. I criticize everything he does. He's a million times better than the losers I'm accustomed too but I've told him to his face he's lame, he's boring, he's an oddball, he needs more friends, and he's sheltered. It seems like if he doesn't fit my mold of what I do and what I like...I criticize him kind of like a middle school bully. Weirdly this is the lifestyle I said I always wanted. I said I didn't want to ever have to wonder where my man was. I said I wanted a man who spent a lot of time with me and was very affectionate. I got that but when he does it...I take it as "weak".
He's the type that has grown up with strict parents and in a rural area. Because of this he is very career focused but he doesn't have many friends. Especially NO friends that are males and since he is now in a relationship he doesn't hang with his female friends. He is the type that likes anime, comic con, drawing, bowling, that gothic nerdy type stuff and I HATE it since I'm the type that is totally fashion, girly, likes GQ men blah blah blah
I come down on him for little stuff for instance I feel like he doesn't speak up for himself and I wonder if he would speak up for me. For instance, we had a date where our service was horrible. It took an hour just to get our food and then he forgot silverware. I asked my bf to go tell the waiter we were unsatisfied. My bf looked like a 7 year old going to get a switch. He walked soooo slowly like he is unable to address problems to other people. He just lets everything slide. That makes me think if someone disrespect me he would let it "slide". He told me I was just complaining and he was reared in a way not to complain about stuff a restaurant cannot control. And he wasn't bothered by the fact our food was late. I told him it's not the fact of me being bothered by my food being late per se, it more the fact I am PAYING for a service that I expect to be given to me. I will let you know if I feel like I've been treated unfairly.
I criticize him on little things that I guess don't matter much...but in my head they are big. For instance: He told me he's only mowed the grass twice in his life, his dad has always done it. He told me he doesn't do his own laundry his mom does it. When something breaks down on his car he is so quick to call his dad and ask what's wrong. He knows nothing about cars or even how to grill...I think those are manly attributes. I hate how he "thinks" he eats healthy and his mom is great at planning meals but before he met me he never ate wheat bread and they eat fried foods a lot. I hate the fact he's slightly messy. (You see my point I just criticize EVERYTHING)
I really do love our time together, and want to work on our relationship, but I need help loving him for who he is instead of somebody I'm trying to change him into the person I want him to be. I am tired of the bad guys and thugs that treat me as some sideline and don't value my worth...but I just don't act like it. What to do?
That's so embarrassing and uncultured. Who the hell doesn't know the difference in a dinner fork and a dessert fork. Ugh.
) but to call him lame/bully him/etc is just not okay to me. it's mean. find someone who is a better fit for what you are looking for. i don't think wanting someone who is assertive/masculine/dominant necessarily means he has to be a thug/bad guy. you can find that guy and clearly this guy isn't it.
I hope he dumps you.. 
erplexed.
