I have no idea what I'm doing...

[Shalilac]

I have been transitioning for almost 9 months with no problems really. I pretty much wear my hair in a bun everyday. I don't have time to do the cute styles anymore like twist-outs and braid-outs or even roller sets. I have 8 mth old twins and a 3 yr old. They keep me very busy and I don't really get alot of time to do sets (after washing & detangling, I'm lucky if I have time to do anything!) Am I fooling myself into thinking I'll have time to take care of my natural hair once transitioning is over. The twins are getting more challenging as they start crawling and everything. If I don't have time now to do these styles, what makes me think I'm gonna have time when those lil trolls can move as fast as their brother!!! LOL I guess I'm just ranting...

 

[lisajames96]

Hi Shalilac,

I am relaxed so I don't have much advice. Just some encouragement. I was transitioning once and quickly relaxed after my daughter was born because I had already had an 18month old at home. I regret relaxing cause now I could have had a whole year and 3 months worth of new growth if I had stuck with it. I have actually had more time to work on my hair now that they are both a year older and a little more independent. Hang in there with your transition cause they may give you more time when they are a little older. hth
lisa

 

[Cheleigh]

I feel your pain. Well, really the "only" time you have is at night after the kids go to bed, right? You're bone tired at that point, I know, but that may be the time you have to do your hair. Maybe you should look at your routine and pair it down. For example, I only wash my hair once a week. It's a long routine on that day (because I condition twice for about 2 hours), but it's one day. The rest of the week I spritz it, moisturize it and braid and roll it at night. That takes 15 minutes if I'm slow. In the morning, I style it. That takes 10 minutes--20 if I'm trying sometime new.

Honestly, I do spend a lot of time "around" my transitioning hair, by being a product junkie and on four hair web sites. But actually "doing" my hair--doesn't take that long.

Of course, you can always relax or texturize it. FME, this does save time, but honestly, pulling the hair back into a relaxed pony or bun doesn't necessarily look any better unless you take about 5-10 minutes to style it properly anyway--trust me, I ran around in a pulled back, uncombed pony for months--I looked a hot mess.

You should visit the parenting forum on nappturality...there's a bunch of women with children, and maybe they can give you additional tips.

HTHS.

 

[Shalilac]

Thanks Lisa & Cheleigh! I was beginning to think I wasn't going to get any encouragement on this one. I knew most folks wouldn't know what to say! LOL But I just had to vent. I will check out the parenting forum on napp.com and also check into organizing a hair day so to speak, with my hubby, so that I can twist or barid my hair when needed. That makes alot of sense actually. Thanks again Ladies. Anymore encouragement is definitley wanted and sometimes needed ...

 

[MzTami]

Thanks Lisa & Cheleigh! I was beginning to think I wasn't going to get any encouragement on this one. I knew most folks wouldn't know what to say! LOL But I just had to vent. I will check out the parenting forum on napp.com and also check into organizing a hair day so to speak, with my hubby, so that I can twist or barid my hair when needed. That makes alot of sense actually. Thanks again Ladies. Anymore encouragement is definitley wanted and sometimes needed ...

Hi Shalilac,

I'm also transitioning. I have a 3 yr old, but she's not the problem. My problem is that I just don't know how to style my hair. It's in a phony ponytail, which I hate because it's pulling on my hair! But I am just styled challenged and that is the reason I am on here everyday to learn some tips.

I wanted to say that we have the same problem but different causes!
You have 9 months of new growth, and I know it's seems as if it's more work to style natural hair than relaxed, but I am sure once you get a hang of it, it will be easier. It takes time to adjust to change, and you will be fine in time. If you can handle transitioning hair, handling natural hair will come naturally! Good Luck and I HTH.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

To be honest w/you Shalilac, you have to make time for your hair like you make time to cook, clean, and care for your family. Because that's what happened to me, I've been married for 5 years and after every little one something from my personal schedule gets moved over, because of course your children and family are very important, but over time it becomes neglecting yourself settling for those quick styles when you really want those nice, and sexy latest styles. I have 3 children also not a set of twins but the 2 youngest are about 2yrs apart and keep me running. So, I actually would the husband or grandma or auntie to keep them at least 1 a wk for a few hours so you can pamper yourself and give yourself what you really want and what the hair is asking for. Start now or it can become a bad habbit. And don't worry the twins will find w/out you for a few hours, LOL. Oh yeah, and if you decide to do this, make rules for yourself, like NO CLEANING THE HOUSE, OR DOING THE LAUNDRY, ETC. JUST YOUR HAIR, and if time is left after your done your hair try to add the manicure and pedicure in, it will be a little pamperday.

 

[lovelymissyoli]

Hi Shalilac,

I'm also transitioning. I have a 3 yr old, but she's not the problem. My problem is that I just don't know how to style my hair. It's in a phony ponytail, which I hate because it's pulling on my hair! But I am just styled challenged and that is the reason I am on here everyday to learn some tips.

MzTami,

I don’t mean to hijack the thread by not responding to the OP’s question, but as a fellow transitioning sista, I thought I’d share some advice that’s helping me get through this transition.

For starters, wet sets are a godsend. If I didn’t practice with these, trust me, I would’ve given up and relaxed again --- or stick it out with braids (individuals) until my natural hair grew, either way, both of those “solutions” would’ve been worse for my hair. I honestly believe that if you can get a hold of some perm rods, flexi rods, or rollers you can try these types of sets to not only hide the two textures, but also wear a style that will last for a week or two, or until you want to wash again.

Since I’ve been wearing curly styles I don’t get stressed about how I’m going to make it through this transition because they hold up so well, require very low maintenance, and can be achieved in a matter or minutes or hours depending on how you decide to style your hair.

In my album, under the journals tab I’ve included instructions on how I do my wet sets. Hopefully it can help you since you say you’re style challenged. Good luck and happy hair growing!

 

[aileendq]

Shalilac,
I'm piggybacking on what someone else said...Make any hairtime "ME" time. In other words, tell your hubby/mother-in-law or whomever, that this time is yours and yours alone to do your hair.
Don't neglect yourself for your children all the time! I know it's a temptation, but remeber to take a little time for yourself once in a while!