I had to leave the relationship forum for my own sanity!!

[Evolving78]

I had to hurry up and get out of that forum with all of that talk about cheating, men having female friends, myspace, 5 months preggers. It was getting to be too much for me. I have been through some tough times in my marriage and things are starting to slowly get better. I don't need things like that filling my head up. It was starting to make me angry all over again. I felt like the devil was trying to attack my mind. There is a young lady who is going through something right now and I want to talk to her and give her some info, but I don't feel comfortable with sharing it with the rest of the posters on her thread. It says that she can't receive pm's. I pray that she can get a hold of me or vice versa. I just had to come in here and vent.

 

[kweenameena]

Wow...I could've made this post myself. The relationship forum can be very depressing at times. I just click New Posts and go to threads that way and I never usually pay attention to which forums they are in. But I will from now on. Don't let Satan plant those seeds. I'm sure others will be in here with better advice. I just wanted to let you know I totally understand!

 

[Browndilocks]

Dangitt - I was thinking the same thing.

I like the relationship forum... it's fun to post there. I agree however that sometimes it can take my mind to places that it probably shouldn't be. Having me feeling insecure about things in my own life for no good reason. All because I've been reading about too many other scenarios and gave them enough air time to get into my own frame of thinking.

 

[fuchsiastar]

I feel you on that negative energy. That is why I never watch that show "Cheaters"......girl, I get on FIRE when I see people creeping on that show!

 

[Shimmie]

I feel you on that negative energy. That is why I never watch that show "Cheaters"......girl, I get on FIRE when I see people creeping on that show!

I'm not taking this thread lightly, for we do have to 'watch' what we allow to be fed into our spirits. God tells us to guard our thought life. (Philipians 4 - Whatsoever things are pure, just...think on these things.").

But your post stood out because I got 'hooked' on this show. I 'loved' watching the people 'cheating' get caught. One woman chased her husband into the men's room, she was NOT playing. and he was scared of her...

But the Lord spoke to me one night and said, 'this show isn't good, for it plants the wrong thoughts into your heart about relationships. For every 'cheater' there are 5 non cheaters and God knows exactly who they are.

I pray the uprooting of all negative thoughts and fear of failure out of your hearts, minds and souls. I pray the love of God to be fully present in the hearts of each of your marriages and in your lives. That your husband's have the faithful heart of Jesus, as He had on the cross, for He did not succomb to temptation throughout His 'walk' and mission here on earth. Jesus was faithful throughout the course of His calling and to this very moment, day and eternally, He still is 'faithful.' And so are the hearts of your husbands.

You see, our husbands will be what we 'call' them to be...'faithful, loving, and good providers.' Leaving no room for any 'outsiders' of any kind, nor for any reason.

So let this mind be in you...Jesus is Lord and not the flesh... Amen.

God bless you and remain in peace for Jesus is at the helm and no other.

 

[star]

It is really sad we women self esteem is so low that they have to take the crumbs from a relationship and never have the real thing. But just say a pray for the sister and leave to God and glad you came out so your spirit will not be filled up with posion.

 

[MizzBrown]

What's sad is that a lot of the women who have had Jerry Springer relationship mishaps in their lives actually have/had HIGH self-esteem and they still got hit with a relationship mack truck in their face.

I like reading them every now and then just to know that there is at least SOMEONE out there who had it worse than I did and to not take my relationship issues so seriously sometimes or TO take it more seriously because something similar happened to them.

 

[kbragg]

Get outta my head!Especially those of us healing from wounds in our relationships! My goodness, the relationship forum will have you checking cell phone histories with a quickness!makes me RUN to Nice & Wavy's thread

 

[CandiceC]

I understand where you're coming from Shortdub. All those negative posts can try to bring you down.

 

[caligirl2385]

I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT THAT FORUM. I HAVE BANNED MYSELF FROM GOING IN THERE :\

 

[Sasha Fierce]

Me too! My mood and spirit plummeted after reading the relationship forum today. It made me feel hopeless and think that I should resolve myself to not even want that male counterpart. But I picked up a book I'm reading "Your Knight in Shining Armor"--a Christian Based piece on getting your relationship with God and self okay before entering into a relationship. I'm also reading Dr. Robin's "Lies at the Alter". Good stuff

 

[Evolving78]

Thanks ladies for understanding where I was coming from. I ended up reading some online christian reading concerning renewing the mind. Thank you Shimmie for that prayer! God Bless everyone!

 

[honeisos]

I feel you on that negative energy. That is why I never watch that show "Cheaters"......girl, I get on FIRE when I see people creeping on that show!

Oh yes .. I get so mad when i see that show .. I have a few issues and that show can fire it up .. I have to stop watching it ..

 

[honeisos]

I'm not taking this thread lightly, for we do have to 'watch' what we allow to be fed into our spirits. God tells us to guard our thought life. (Philipians 4 - Whatsoever things are pure, just...think on these things.").

But your post stood out because I got 'hooked' on this show. I 'loved' watching the people 'cheating' get caught. One woman chased her husband into the men's room, she was NOT playing. and he was scared of her...

But the Lord spoke to me one night and said, 'this show isn't good, for it plants the wrong thoughts into your heart about relationships. For every 'cheater' there are 5 non cheaters and God knows exactly who they are.

I pray the uprooting of all negative thoughts and fear of failure out of your hearts, minds and souls. I pray the love of God to be fully present in the hearts of each of your marriages and in your lives. That your husband's have the faithful heart of Jesus, as He had on the cross, for He did not succomb to temptation throughout His 'walk' and mission here on earth. Jesus was faithful throughout the course of His calling and to this very moment, day and eternally, He still is 'faithful.' And so are the hearts of your husbands.

You see, our husbands will be what we 'call' them to be...'faithful, loving, and good providers.' Leaving no room for any 'outsiders' of any kind, nor for any reason.

So let this mind be in you...Jesus is Lord and not the flesh... Amen.

God bless you and remain in peace for Jesus is at the helm and no other.

Glory ! Praise God !
I will stop watching this show! it is evil ..
And I know my boyfriend is a very good man .. I'm doing the 30day challenge to say only positive things to your SO ... so not watching will help ...

 

[gone_fishing]

You're right. Reading all of that can make you cynical and even cause you to over analyze your own relationship if you are not careful. Perhaps a break is in order.

 

[caligirl2385]

GREAT SIGGY, ADEQUATE!

 

[Allandra]

I had to hurry up and get out of that forum with all of that talk about cheating, men having female friends, myspace, 5 months preggers. It was getting to be too much for me. I have been through some tough times in my marriage and things are starting to slowly get better. I don't need things like that filling my head up. It was starting to make me angry all over again. I felt like the devil was trying to attack my mind. There is a young lady who is going through something right now and I want to talk to her and give her some info, but I don't feel comfortable with sharing it with the rest of the posters on her thread. It says that she can't receive pm's. I pray that she can get a hold of me or vice versa. I just had to come in here and vent.

That's definitely understandable (especially with all of those hypothetical threads).

 

[ladyofvirtue]

I think I'd better stay out of it too, cause when I'm done reading some of the things on there, I feel like this when I see my DH come through the door:

Me to Him: Hey, you want suma this? Come on, just try me.

:burning:

Him to Me: Get off the computer, NOW.


He hates it so much when I read the relationship forum.

I wonder why???

 

[fuchsiastar]

Shimmie, thank you for sharing that prayer! I do believe that my future husband will be faithful and kind and loving and all of that! Amen! Amen!

I used to be entertained by Cheaters also, and just crack up at the foolishness. But then during commercials I would find myself making up hypothetical situations and trying to figure out what I would do if I were in the situation. I have been cheated on in past relationships, so some of those feelings would come up to......then the next thing you know, I'm bitter and fighting mad about my-current-faithful-man arriving for a date 10 minutes later because in my mind he had stopped by his other girlfriends house for a quick date. It was all just too much mentally!

I do find some encouraging things on the relationship forum, but I just am very careful about what threads I read in detail. I guess I am just on watch and guarding my mind when I go there, and am more selective in my clicking. For example, the "Calling In the One" thread encouraged me to see the goodness in my current relationship. Also reading some of the playful dating stories are fun. But when people get into the "this person cheated" and "I am the other woman" type stuff, I tend to steer clear.

I wish all of you ladies the best in feeding yourselves positive images and information this new year!

 

[almondruby]

I had to hurry up and get out of that forum with all of that talk about cheating, men having female friends, myspace, 5 months preggers. It was getting to be too much for me. I have been through some tough times in my marriage and things are starting to slowly get better. I don't need things like that filling my head up. It was starting to make me angry all over again. I felt like the devil was trying to attack my mind. There is a young lady who is going through something right now and I want to talk to her and give her some info, but I don't feel comfortable with sharing it with the rest of the posters on her thread. It says that she can't receive pm's. I pray that she can get a hold of me or vice versa. I just had to come in here and vent.

hello, i'm came in here to look for some spiritual guidance and stumbled across this thread. thank you for trying to reach me via pm - i've never posted on a forum before and i have no idea how to get or send pm's. i'm trying to work it out.

i felt really bad after reading the posts here because i felt like i was spreading my unhappiness and misery to other people over the internet. i don't have anyone at all to talk to IRL and i was desperate for some opinions and advice on what to do. i certainly never meant to depress or upset anybody. the ladies over there have given me a lot of comfort and support and it means the world to me - i felt extremely alone.

if things were going well in my marriage, i probably wouldn't want to be reading about cheating men all the time either.

just wanted to explain why i posted.

thanks

 

[FunkyDiva]

I was telling my SO about some of the threads last night and he said to me "Don't be bringing none of that drama into our relationship." He was so right and I really had to step back and check my frame of thinking. I was so angry and passionate about what I was telling him and I was made at MEN in general. Lately I have been a lot more cynical and over analyze things in my relationship just based on what others are going through. Our relationship is not perfect but I thank God for it because that forum is heart-breaking right now.

 

[Bunny77]

Me too! My mood and spirit plummeted after reading the relationship forum today. It made me feel hopeless and think that I should resolve myself to not even want that male counterpart. But I picked up a book I'm reading "Your Knight in Shining Armor"--a Christian Based piece on getting your relationship with God and self okay before entering into a relationship. I'm also reading Dr. Robin's "Lies at the Alter". Good stuff

I read that "Knight in Shining Armor" book. Pretty good stuff.

I also want to recommend Candice Watters' "Get Married." It just came out this month and it's great!

As for the relationship forum, I admit that I go there a lot, but I would stop if it began affecting my thinking. In fact, I have stepped away from the board a while when I've felt that way (back in the days when there were 7,000 threads about black men not liking black women... I didn't need to read that).

Maybe I have the opposite reaction, but reading the Relationship Forum threads remind me what NOT to do and what NOT to look for! That, combined with my Christian books, have actually been pretty helpful for me...

 

[envybeauty]

I had to hurry up and get out of that forum with all of that talk about cheating, men having female friends, myspace, 5 months preggers. It was getting to be too much for me. I have been through some tough times in my marriage and things are starting to slowly get better. I don't need things like that filling my head up. It was starting to make me angry all over again. I felt like the devil was trying to attack my mind. There is a young lady who is going through something right now and I want to talk to her and give her some info, but I don't feel comfortable with sharing it with the rest of the posters on her thread. It says that she can't receive pm's. I pray that she can get a hold of me or vice versa. I just had to come in here and vent.

I understand where you are coming from shortdub but at the same time, what if people felt like you do now when reading about the problem you were having when you were pregnant, having problems with your husband, and not confident that you could survive on your own with a kid and one on the way. That was you, wasn't it? Don't get me wrong but I was really surprised to see that it was you who started this thread (if indeed that was you).

Reading about other people's problems can be overwhelming but I hate to think that if I had a relationship problem, I should now be hesitant to post about it because people would start spin off threads about how my problem is bringing up bad memories and that they needed to vent about it. I feel for her (the pregnant person you are talking about).

 

[envybeauty]

hello, i'm came in here to look for some spiritual guidance and stumbled across this thread. thank you for trying to reach me via pm - i've never posted on a forum before and i have no idea how to get or send pm's. i'm trying to work it out.

i felt really bad after reading the posts here because i felt like i was spreading my unhappiness and misery to other people over the internet. i don't have anyone at all to talk to IRL and i was desperate for some opinions and advice on what to do. i certainly never meant to depress or upset anybody. the ladies over there have given me a lot of comfort and support and it means the world to me - i felt extremely alone.

if things were going well in my marriage, i probably wouldn't want to be reading about cheating men all the time either.

just wanted to explain why i posted.

thanks

don't feel bad....we ALL share our problems on this forum and we all seek advice (with hair, relationships, kids, whatever). We all do this!

You have enough to think about without adding this to your burdens. Don't let it weigh on your spirits. You can (and should) freely come on here to seek advice.

(((HUGS))) to you!

 

[Evolving78]

hello, i'm came in here to look for some spiritual guidance and stumbled across this thread. thank you for trying to reach me via pm - i've never posted on a forum before and i have no idea how to get or send pm's. i'm trying to work it out.

i felt really bad after reading the posts here because i felt like i was spreading my unhappiness and misery to other people over the internet. i don't have anyone at all to talk to IRL and i was desperate for some opinions and advice on what to do. i certainly never meant to depress or upset anybody. the ladies over there have given me a lot of comfort and support and it means the world to me - i felt extremely alone.

if things were going well in my marriage, i probably wouldn't want to be reading about cheating men all the time either.

just wanted to explain why i posted.

thanks

Thank God you came in here! You have been on my mind all night and day. I just want to let you know that you are not alone and that I'm in shoes. I just had a little girl and she is 2 mos old and I have a 16 mos old boy too. Things get really crazy around here sometimes. I want to give you some info but I would like to talk to you alone. I'll try to figure out how we can get your pm thing active. God Bless you and I'm really praying for you. You didn't make me upset or anything. You were just trying to reach out for some comforting. I had to get out of that forum because it was clouding my judgment about what God wants for me and how God wants me to behave in certain situations. Right now the only person that you can really turn to right now is the Lord. He is calling you right now. Sometimes God makes things possible to happen so that we can open our eyes up and see that we are not the ones in control, but that He is and that we have to lean and depend on Him to lead us in the right direction. Please turn to the Lord right now. Cry out to Him with anything that is troubling you. IF you can go in a room by yourself and ask Him to break through anything that is hardening your heart. Do this right now! I love you my sister. I hope we can get in touch soon. Take care of yourself and that beautiful baby inside of you. He/she is counting on you!

 

[Evolving78]

I understand where you are coming from shortdub but at the same time, what if people felt like you do now when reading about the problem you were having when you were pregnant, having problems with your husband, and not confident that you could survive on your own with a kid and one on the way. That was you, wasn't it? Don't get me wrong but I was really surprised to see that it was you who started this thread (if indeed that was you).

Reading about other people's problems can be overwhelming but I hate to think that if I had a relationship problem, I should now be hesitant to post about it because people would start spin off threads about how my problem is bringing up bad memories and that they needed to vent about it. I feel for her (the pregnant person you are talking about).

WOW that was a slap in my face! First I didn't come in here to make anyone feel bad about their situation. I had to leave for my own personsl reasons (in which you pointed out) What I say or how I feel should stop anyone dor seeking advice. I also came in here because because I myself needed spiritual encouragement. Also, while you were typing your post, I was typing mine to the young lady that is pregnant. Hope you get a chance to read it. That is really messed up about what you said to me and it kinda hurt because I was coming to the ladies with my heart in my hands and felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown and here you come throwin that mess up in my face. Never again, but God Bless you too.

 

[envybeauty]

WOW that was a slap in my face! First I didn't come in here to make anyone feel bad about their situation. I had to leave for my own personsl reasons (in which you pointed out) What I say or how I feel should stop anyone dor seeking advice. I also came in here because because I myself needed spiritual encouragement. Also, while you were typing your post, I was typing mine to the young lady that is pregnant. Hope you get a chance to read it. That is really messed up about what you said to me and it kinda hurt because I was coming to the ladies with my heart in my hands and felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown and here you come throwin that mess up in my face. Never again, but God Bless you too.

the girl felt the sting of this thread and she posted about it. she is in a bad situation and she came into this forum only to see your thread -- about her -- she stated as much herself in this thread. i saw it too and it confirmed what i felt too (or would have felt if I was in her shoes reading your original post #1).

we all post things on here and i felt bad for her when i read your original post. it is not fair for a poster to jump on here, post her problem, ask for advice, and then talk about another poster who does the same thing (especially when asking a question about a similar situation).

i threw it back b/c the situations were so similar and i was surprised that you started the thread and referenced her directly.

ETA: i did read your response to her and i hope you read my response to her as well. my response is posted above yours.

also, i know what it feels like to have your heart in your hands so i am not knocking you. i was just surprised that you started a thread, referenced her, and did not think that it would be viewed as discouraging to her. i also posted because i wanted her to know: 1) that not everyone feels the same way you do, or at least, I did not feel overwhelmed by reading her problem in particular, and 2) she should feel free to post on here desspite the reference to her in this thread.

 

[Evolving78]

the girl felt the sting of this thread and she posted about it. she is in a bad situation and she came into this forum only to see your thread -- about her -- she stated as much herself in this thread. i saw it too and it confirmed what i felt too (or would have felt if I was in her shoes reading your original post #1).

we all post things on here and i felt bad for her when i read your original post. it is not fair for a poster to jump on here, post her problem, ask for advice, and then talk about another poster who does the same thing (especially when asking a question about a similar situation).

i threw it back b/c the situations were so similar and i was surprised that you started the thread and referenced her directly.

ETA: i did read your response to her and i hope you read my response to her as well. my response is posted above yours.

also, i know what it feels like to have your heart in your hands so i am not knocking you. i was just surprised that you started a thread, referenced her, and did not think that it would be viewed as discouraging to her.

Well since you felt the need to defend people, I threw in a couple of other threads that were getting to me too. Are you going to say anything about them as well? And I still don't think you get my point. It wasn't about her. It was about reading all of those things and what it was doing to me. I'm glad she came in here too, because The fact that I can understand where she is coming from I would be at a better postition to talk to her and for God to allow me to shed some comforting on her. This isn't Christ-like and we don't need to go back and forth. Love ya and again God Bless you my sista!

 

[envybeauty]

Well since you felt the need to defend people, I threw in a couple of other threads that were getting to me too. Are you going to say anything about them as well? And I still don't think you get my point. It wasn't about her. It was about reading all of those things and what it was doing to me. I'm glad she came in here too, because The fact that I can understand where she is coming from I would be at a better postition to talk to her and for God to allow me to shed some comforting on her. This isn't Christ-like and we don't need to go back and forth. Love ya and again God Bless you my sista!

I don't ever argue on this forum. I will also not comment on the other situations you referenced because I have no desire to and because their illustrations do not concern my point.

I just want you to realize how someone (like me and that lady) could have interpreted your reference to HER situation given what you previously decided to share on this forum also. I get your point; I just don't get the need to include her in your OP.

If you still do not get MY point, then that is fine. I have said all that I wanted to say concerning the matter. That is all!

God bless you and your family too!

 

[caligirl2385]

hello, i'm came in here to look for some spiritual guidance and stumbled across this thread. thank you for trying to reach me via pm - i've never posted on a forum before and i have no idea how to get or send pm's. i'm trying to work it out.

i felt really bad after reading the posts here because i felt like i was spreading my unhappiness and misery to other people over the internet. i don't have anyone at all to talk to IRL and i was desperate for some opinions and advice on what to do. i certainly never meant to depress or upset anybody. the ladies over there have given me a lot of comfort and support and it means the world to me - i felt extremely alone.

if things were going well in my marriage, i probably wouldn't want to be reading about cheating men all the time either.

just wanted to explain why i posted.

thanks

HI THERE. ALTHOUGH I DID NOT READ YOUR ORIGINAL POST UNTIL NOW, I WANTED TO TELL YOU NOT TO FEEL BAD ABOUT WHAT YOU WROTE. EVERYONE HAS STRUGGLES AND NEEDS TO VENT. I DON'T BELIEVE THE OP OR ANYONE ELSE MEANT THAT YOU WERE SPREADING MISERY TO US. I JUST THINK THAT THE OVERALL VIBE OF THE FORUM ITSELF CAN BE INTENSE; JUST LIKE CERTAIN TV SHOWS, MUSIC SELECTIONS, ETC. I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT THE OFF TOPIC AND ENTERTAINMENT FORUM, BUT THAT'S ME.

I AM SOOOOOO SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THAT SITUATION. PLEASE KNOW THAT YOU ARE SPECIAL TO GOD, THE APPLE OF HIS EYE, AND THAT HE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. I'M NOT MARRIED AND I DON'T HAVE KIDS, BUT I HAVE BEEN THROUGH SOME ROUGH TIMES. WHAT I HAVE SEEN FOR MYSELF IS THAT THIS PARTICULAR SCRIPTURE IS TRUE: "WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR A NIGHT, BUT JOY COMETH IN THE MORNING" PSALMS 30:5 SO PRAY WHILE YOU CRY, AND THE LORD WILL COMFORT YOU. AND HE WILL PUT SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE THAT DESERVES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!