I got kicked out of the club!

[sareca]

I got the boot from the 4a/4b club. I've had so many people completely discredit not only my experiences with haircare but lately my experiences as a black woman! WTW?

I was talking about racism in Texas and an acquaintance said "people probably treat you different 'cause of your hair." What the...? That wasn't the only time either. I've been defending my blackness a lot lately. I feel like somebody took my black card. erplexedI know I shouldn't care, but this has become a really touchy subject for me. I feel left out of a club I was a proud member of. Am I the only one had their card questioned because their texture changed?

ETA: This is showing the change in my texturized hair, but the change in NG was just as dramatic.

 

[Keen]

What do you think attributed to the change? I read that MSM will change the hair texture. What is it for you?

 

[naturallylovely]

What do you think attributed to the change? I read that MSM will change the hair texture. What is it for you?

maybe the texturizer...

 

[sweetpuff]

I'm 4a/b, texturized (but my kitchen gives it away lol) .I have been discredited of my haitian heritage for other things though (my butt is not big enough... go figure)
I have not lived through what you are talking about, Sareca, and I understand how this can become a touchy subject. You , and only you know who you are and what you lived through. I am sure other people can talk about their experience though.
People being who they are, will always judge by the way you look and say things like "oh well you have it easier cuz your hair looks like this and that, you can fit in much easier than other black girls" . It is easy to fall in the trap and justify yourself. Don't do that. Punch them but don't justify (hehehe joking! joking!)
no Honestly. I feel you. I hope other people can share their experience on this.

 

[sareca]

I have to check in past post but I think that sareca mentioned earlier that is was either MSM or silica that contributed in her texture changing. she was one of the few people who experienced this.

i'll go back on the subject now.
I'm 4a/b, texturized (but my kitchen gives it away lol) .I have been discredited of my haitian heritage for other things though (my butt is not big enough... go figure)
I have not lived through what you are talking about, Sareca, and I understand how this can become a touchy subject. You , and only you know who you are and what you lived through. I am sure other people can talk about their experience though.
People being who they are, will always judge by the way you look and say things like "oh well you have it easier cuz your hair looks like this and that, you can fit in much easier than other black girls" . It is easy to fall in the trap and justify yourself. Don't do that. Punch them but don't justify (hehehe joking! joking!)
no Honestly. I feel you. I hope other people can share their experience on this.

Thanks sweet! It makes me feel better to know at least one other person on the planet has gone through this. You're right I shouldn't justify myself, but I get caught up every dang time.

I first noticed a change after I started taking MSM. The first picture is after I started taking MSM. The next change came with henna. It took the frizzy away so I was lovin' it. The last change is crazy and came from silica. I stopped taking it months ago and my original texture has not returned.

The worse part is I didn't realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in being in the 4a/b group until I got the boot.

 

[sareca]

What do you think attributed to the change? I read that MSM will change the hair texture. What is it for you?

I hope it isn't. I have some kind of weird birth defect (or early trama) with my knee and MSM completely stops the pain. I think it was the silica that changed my texture the worse. If it really is the MSM I'm just going to have to get used to being kicked out. I can't go back to daily pain pills.

 

[jrae]

Well, we'll miss you, Sareca. The 4s loss is the 3s gain!

 

[kitchen_tician]

Am I the only one had their card questioned because their texture changed?

First of all your hair is beautiful. And yes, sometimes I have to defend my blackness to new folks, but not due to texture change. It used to bother me, but now it only bothers me when people try to insist and convince ME that I'm something other than what I say I am. I just state what I am and change the subject. I just posted about this same thing in another thread.

 

[sareca]

Well, we'll miss you, Sareca. The 4s loss is the 3s gain!

I don't wanna go!

 

[InJesusName]

Sereca, I gotta call you out. I have been stalking your album for quite a while and I have always questioned whether you typed your hair properly. You have a lot of wave to be a straight 4 (I'm so jealous!)

We still love ya sista!

Note to self...start taking more MSM and silica. I wish I could join the threes when I grow up! You are still beautiful and so is your hair. Keep doin whatcha doin!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I don't get it. Even with the texturizer your hair still looks like a '4' to me.

What's crazy about the arguement that you get preferential treatment because of your hair is that it would mean anybody with chemically treated hair ESPECIALLY fully relaxed hair would be treated better by white folk.

Quit arguing with stupid people.

 

[carameldiva]

Those people are totally ignorant and fully of "haterade". You are a beautiful black woman and your hair texture does not define who you really are. Girlfriend, shake all of dem haters off.

 

[sareca]

I don't get it. Even with the texturizer your hair still looks like a '4' to me.

You're probably the only person I've had say that in a long time. Thank you.

What's crazy about the arguement that you get preferential treatment because of your hair is that it would mean anybody with chemically treated hair ESPECIALLY fully relaxed hair would be treated better by white folk.
Quit arguing with stupid people.

I'm trying, but I keep thinking I can talk some sense into them. It ain't workin'.

 

[sareca]

Sereca, I gotta call you out. I have been stalking your album for quite a while and I have always questioned whether you typed your hair properly. You have a lot of wave to be a straight 4 (I'm so jealous!)

I originally texturized to get waves, but once they were permanent I was like hold up!

We still love ya sista!

Note to self...start taking more MSM and silica. I wish I could join the threes when I grow up! You are still beautiful and so is your hair. Keep doin whatcha doin!

Don't do it. You might get stuck.

 

[caribeandiva]

.... I feel like somebody took my black card. erplexed...

gurl you silly. at first at thought you were talking about a night club. i'm rushing over here thinking you got kicked out for fighting or something.

 

[sareca]

First of all your hair is beautiful. And yes, sometimes I have to defend my blackness to new folks, but not due to texture change. It used to bother me, but now it only bothers me when people try to insist and convince ME that I'm something other than what I say I am. I just state what I am and change the subject. I just posted about this same thing in another thread.

Really, what thread? I wanna see.

I couldn't image going through this my whole life. It's only been a few months and I get an attitude if anybody mentions hair texture around me. People can be down right rude!

 

[sareca]

This is what most people are calling 3c/3b. The curls are tighter when allowed to dry w/o the ponytail.
The texturized hair is pretty much in the ponytail holder and bunned 99% of the time.

 

[sareca]

gurl you silly. at first at thought you were talking about a night club. i'm rushing over here thinking you got kicked out for fighting or something.

Haven't been kicked out of anywhere in a long time. I hope dem days are over...

 

[CreoleBelle]

Thanks sweet! It makes me feel better to know at least one other person on the planet has gone through this. You're right I shouldn't justify myself, but I get caught up every dang time.

I first noticed a change after I started taking MSM. The first picture is after I started taking MSM. The next change came with henna. It took the frizzy away so I was lovin' it. The last change is crazy and came from silica. I stopped taking it months ago and my original texture has not returned.

The worse part is I didn't realize how much of my identity was wrapped up in being in the 4a/b group until I got the boot.

What brand of silica were you taking, in which form were you taking it, how much of it were you taking, and how often were you taking it when you noticed the texture change? Hope I haven't asked too many question, but I gotta kill all the birds with one stone lol.

 

[Poohbear]

I agree with JCoily. It still looks 4a/b to me.

Plus, are these people looking all up in your new growth? I think people usually look at what texture most of your hair is and in whatever state that it is (relaxed, texturized, or natural). The texturizer you get every few months loosens the curl pattern of your natural hair. The people are seeing the texture of your texturized hair, not the texture of your natural hair since you are texturized.

Plus, relaxers and texturizers can make your new growth appear different than it's true hair texture. You will have to grow out your hair considerably and cut off the chemically processed hair to really know your true natural hair texture.

But regardless of what grows out of your head, you are still black. Just let them know that and be done with arguing and defending yourself. Its not worth losing sleep over.

 

[brooklyngal73]

Your waves are so fantabulous!!

This is what most people are calling 3c/3b. The curls are tighter when allowed to dry w/o the ponytail.

 

[Armyqt]

Could be the henna as well

 

[sareca]

I agree with JCoily. It still looks 4a/b to me.

That's 2.

Plus, are these people looking all up in your new growth? I think people usually look at what texture most of your hair is and in whatever state that it is (relaxed, texturized, or natural). The texturizer you get every few months loosens the curl pattern of your natural hair. The people are seeing the texture of your texturized hair, not the texture of your natural hair since you are texturized.
Plus, relaxers and texturizers can make your new growth appear different than it's true hair texture. You will have to grow out your hair considerably and cut off the chemically processed hair to really know your true natural hair texture.
But regardless of what grows out of your head, you are still black. Just let them know that and be done with arguing and defending yourself. Its not worth losing sleep over.

But despite whether it's NG or texturized I hear you... I should correct them and move on... or punch them in the head. Oh wait that last one wasn't you. :wink2:

For the record, I've transisitioned to natural probably 5X and been natural a long time. My stuff didn't do this before. I'm also 11 months post (so that about 5-6 inches of NG).

ETA: ITA that NG looks different when it doesn't have relaxed hair hanging on!



So, this hasn't happened to anybody else? *sigh*

 

[sareca]

Could be the henna as well

I hope not. I henna.

ETA: That's such a cute pic Army.

 

[Armyqt]

I hope not. I henna.

ETA: That's such a cute pic Army.

Thanks lady.. I'm about to jump on the henna train

 

[sareca]

Your waves are so fantabulous!!

Ok, you made that word up.

 

[sareca]

Thanks lady.. I'm about to jump on the henna train

Yay! Here's my one piece of totally unsolicited advice. :wink2: You'll be happier with the process and outcome if you keep your initial expectations low. Hennas rewards come with time.

 

[destiny616]

you still look like a 4 to me

you hair is very healthy and moisturized, i think that makes the difference, my daughter is 4a if her hair is dry it looks like a rough brillo pad if her hair is well conditioned and moisturized her roots wave up when i put her hair in ponytails, i think many people forgot what healthy hair looks like

 

[Britt]

This is what most people are calling 3c/3b. The curls are tighter when allowed to dry w/o the ponytail.
The texturized hair is pretty much in the ponytail holder and bunned 99% of the time.

I agree... it'ts amazing that the supplements have changed your hair texture so drastically. I've been taking silica for 2 months hoping it would affect my nails and I have not seen one change yet . My nails are still brittle .

 

[kbragg]

GIRL I lost my black card a long time ago! It wasn't my fault though, it's the fear of God my grandma put in me anytime I talked with slang or an accent! She said "I don't care if people say you "talk white!' If using proper grammar is talking white then talk white all the way to the bank! I had a hard time in school for being a sell out because I "talk white" had good grades, and was in accelerated classes. It was painful growing up!erplexed

But now I'm glad I took my grandma's advice of speaking correctly, getting good grades, applying myself and working with a spirit of excellence! Now I earn $500-$1,000 a week working 10-15 hours a week from home that increases every month. I should be at 10,000 a month withing the next 7-12 months "talking white" on the phone! Those girls that gave me a hard time...still single, on welfare, bunch of kids out of wedlock living in the same neighborhood. Never applied themselves in life, but stayed broke all in the name of "keepin' it real."

I lost my black card permanently when I married a white man! It's all god though 'cause he lost his white card too ince he never "acted his color." He's not one of those types that "tries to be black" he just loves our culture, our music, our women, our hair, and especial out booties (which ironically I did NOT inherit but for some reason he married me anyway, flat butt and all! Dang I'm good!)

So here we are, 2 sell outs! I lost my black card, he lost his white card. My daughters have NO cards!

The good news is God doesn't judge us by our skin color for He chose that color when he knited us together in our mother's womb. He doesn't judge us by our hair texture, relaxed, natural, texturized, do you realize He knows the exact number of hairs on our head? Really ponder that, evertime you comb or brush you hair He knows exactly how many you shed, how many are growing in, etc. Me and Joshua picked up our Christian cards in place of our race cards and our lives have been completely transformed and have never been the same.

If by putting good things into your body, that are depleted from our soils, your texture returns to the texture God designed it to be in the first place who are they to judge you? If a person chooses to relax their hair who is anybody to say they hate themselves and are trying to be white?erplexed Maybe they (gasp) like it that way...

Don't want to get tooo off topic, just want to say, your hair is absolutely stunning! Your texture is to die for (I want it now! )

Check out this book, it elped me a lot with race issues and forgiving those who judge me for who God designed me to be, in the end it's only HIS opinion that will matter anyway:

http://www.amazon.com/Search-Significance-Seeing-Worth-Through/dp/0849944244

PS: Yes, I am a Bible thumpin' foot stomping, tongue speaking, Holy dancin' fool for Jesus!