I Got Got By My Mil

[C@ssandr@]

Hey y'all.

So my fiance and I are in the midst of planning our wedding. Just to give some background.

He owns a two unit house. His brother lives downstairs and FH occupies the upper floor with his mom. She moved in about 3 years ago because she needs a light eye kept on her.

FH gave me the key to his house. All good right? Except, every time I come by, his mother is surprised by my presence. She is very jumpy. Fine. I dont want to scare her to death (literally) so we agreed that I'll ring her before I come inside. One day I call, no answer. So I come inside anyway. She's somehow surprised and scared half to death. A touch of old timer's, I understand. So she asked me to ring the doorbell. This wasnt an issue at first, but I already knew what was gonna happen. The first time I rang the doorbell, no answer. So I rang her phone and decided to just use my key. Of course she jumps and shes scared, but oh well.

I cant believe I got got y'all

I told my fiance and he told me to ignore her and use my key.

The only reason why I can laugh about this is because I don't think she realizes she's being sent to live downstairs with her other son. The only reason it hasn't happened yet is because of unforseen circumstamces. But yeah. Now I dont feel bad cus the one living downstairs isnt as sweet and accommodating as my FH.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

She'll be fine.

 

[Theresamonet]

Is she actually experiencing a form of dementia? I can’t tell from your post...

If she’s not jumping when anyone else’s enters using their key, then she’s likely faking, and trying to make you feel like an intruder/outsider. But it will be okay. Just dump mama downstairs, like you plan to. Lol

 

[LivingInPeace]

I read the title as “I got bit by my MIL.”
That’s all.

 

[mrselle]

Oh, the games MILs play. She'll be just fine.

 

[hopeful]

This is kind of crazy. Assuming both brothers come in and out all of the time and she’s not jumping out of her skin. So she’s only afraid of a woman coming into the home ?

 

[LiftedUp]

I don't think she realizes she's being sent to live downstairs with her other son.

If this is the plan, it should be done asap

MIL may not go down without a fight seeing the games she's playing now.

 

[C@ssandr@]

Is she actually experiencing a form of dementia? I can’t tell from your post...

If she’s not jumping when anyone else’s enters using their key, then she’s likely faking, and trying to make you feel like an intruder/outsider. But it will be okay. Just dump mama downstairs, like you plan to. Lol

This is kind of crazy. Assuming both brothers come in and out all of the time and she’s not jumping out of her skin. So she’s only afraid of a woman coming into the home ?

To answer both of your posts....She actually does have dementia, she does some concerning things. However, its not easy to tell when its the "old timers" (lightweight dementia) or when shes playing games. Too many stories to list, but yeah, shes at the point where shes mixing her sons up and not remembering stuff

THAT is the only reason I was trying to find a middle ground while she's still living with us.

However she does jump no matter who comes in the house, including FH. Thats why he told me to just use my key. And I will.

Eta: we actually get along pretty well outside of this nonsense. Im Looking forward to fostering a rlshp with her.

 

[Theresamonet]

To answer both of your posts....She actually does have dementia, she does some concerning things. However, its not easy to tell when its the "old timers" (lightweight dementia) or when shes playing games. Too many stories to list, but yeah, shes at the point where shes mixing her sons up and not remembering stuff

THAT is the only reason I was trying to find a middle ground while she's still living with us.

However she does jump no matter who comes in the house, including FH. Thats why he told me to just use my key. And I will.

Eta: we actually get along pretty well outside of this nonsense. Im Looking forward to fostering a rlshp with her.

Yeah, since she actually does have dementia, to the point of mixing up her own sons, you should probably give her the benefit of the doubt, that the things she does isn’t personal or just her playing games.

 

[hopeful]

Thanks @C@ssandr@ thanks for the update. I’m wishing you all the best. I agree that she may put up a fight re living with the other brother. Will you be getting married soon?

 

[C@ssandr@]

Thanks @C@ssandr@ thanks for the update. I’m wishing you all the best. I agree that she may put up a fight re living with the other brother. Will you be getting married soon?

Yes. October.

 

[livinbestlyfe]

I would suggest first ringing the doorbell then waiting a minute (literallly) then using your key. I’m also jumpy or should I say on guard when I’m home alone. So, I need a heads up if someone is entering my home. I would hate to take a loved one out with a bat.


Also, most importantly make sure there is minimal delay in moving MIL downstairs with BIL.

 

[Ms. Tarabotti]

To answer both of your posts....She actually does have dementia, she does some concerning things. However, its not easy to tell when its the "old timers" (lightweight dementia) or when shes playing games. Too many stories to list, but yeah, shes at the point where shes mixing her sons up and not remembering stuff

THAT is the only reason I was trying to find a middle ground while she's still living with us.

However she does jump no matter who comes in the house, including FH. Thats why he told me to just use my key. And I will.

Eta: we actually get along pretty well outside of this nonsense. Im Looking forward to fostering a rlshp with her.

When are you all planning to get married and when is soon to be MIL moving downstairs?

Have she been diagnosed by a doctor regarding the dementia? Is there a plan in place for if/when it becomes more severe? If all of you are working/ out of the house during the day, who will be looking after her?