I GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

InJesusName

InJesusName

New Member
Ladies I am so discouraged:cry: I have been working so hard on my hair consistently since August 28th, and I was so looking forward to getting a blow out so I could check my progress. Considering all the co-washes, vitamins, topical ointments and exercise, I was sure that I would see a change in my hair since my last chemical service. I have stretched for 10 weeks (which has been hard) and done everything "by the book" I took a look at my length after my blowot and my hair looks the SAME LENGTH!!!!!! To make matters worse, my poor hairline which was already thin looks thinner. My hair has that damaged, thin seethrough look at the ends. At first I thought it was due to the multiple textures from stretching, but now I realize that my hair is in horrible condition.

I want long hair SOOOOOOO bad which is why I committed to this site and have adopted so many "healthy hair practices" This does not seem to be working for me. I feel like I am the oddball who can't grow her hair. Am I just dreaming?

I feel like all of my work is in vain. I hate to be such a cry baby, but I am so disappointed.

:cry: :cry: :cry:
 
Oh no, don't cry!! I always feel this way right before a relaxer, like my hair isn't growing and it's looking terribly unhealthy. Maybe it's pre-touchup syndrome? :o I know that this can be discouraging, but I have two pieces of advice:

I would suggest that you dont judge your hair based on a dominican blowout at 10 weeks post. For some reason, when my hair needs a relaxer, then nothing can get it as smooth as a relaxer can, and even a blowout can make it look a bit wack. And so I'm willing to bet that your hair is going to look much better after it's freshly relaxed and the roots are laying down better. Then you'll be able to judge the length more accurately. Do you take progress pictures? You can compare the freshly relaxed length to your prior length, and you'll probably see results! Also, when you get your relaxer, you may want to get a small trim (i always do), just don't take it overboard! I'm sure that getting rid of any bad ends will help a lot!

Your hard work is definitely not in vain! If for some reason, your current regimen isn't working as well as you'd hoped, then you can focus on pin pointing what part of it needs to be improved. This is always a learning process for everyone, right?

Good luck and be encouraged...in Jesus name! ;)
 
Last edited:
I agree, you will probably see the length better once you relax, but keep in mind its only been 2.5 months, so thats just a little over an inch of growth, depending on your growth cycle. Basically if you can see your new growth, your hair is growing. Several things can cause you not to see the length. If you TRULY have not gained, and you have newgrowth, then you have breakage and need to bring it under control. Did you take pictures? Sometimes pictures will show what you cant see with the naked eye. Good luck, and dont give up. This takes time and patience!! :)
 
Surprisingly, my ends are not split at all. That comes from baggying and bunning. My hair just has not grown any thicker or longer.
 
InJesusName said:
Surprisingly, my ends are not split at all. That comes from baggying and bunning. My hair just has not grown any thicker or longer.
Click to expand...

Wait, but how do you know it is not longer? You do have new growth right?
Also, I think it just takes time for thickness to develop, I've been trying to get thickness for a while, too. And it's a slow process. Also, if your ends are not split, that's a really good sign, the baggying and bunning must be working!
 
I don't think you should give up either. Many of us have been on this board for years and are still learning how to get the growth we need. It seems like you need to be concentrating on figuring out how to keep your ends thick/minimize breakage. Maybe you should target your regimen for that goal above all else.

And I agree with the other ladies....you really need that relaxer before you can truly guage your growth.
 
Thanks ladies. I was thinking about getting a relaxer at 12 weeks, but my hair looked so silky smooth with the blow out I thought about stretching longer. I am SO scared to apply chemicals to those edges.

As for photos, I have been snapping pictures since I joined the board. I am just too embarassed to start a fotki progress album. I wanted to have that WOW growth before I did that. That will soon have to stop though because I just joined bootcamp 2007. Trust me...it's not pretty. The sad thing is, I had beautful hair as a pre-teen. What happened?
 
Don't give up, it will take time before you see a major difference and then you will come back with great updates.
 
Please do not give up. I mean it. I am new here but the advice gere is great. I have decided to grow but I personally do not look at the length al the time. I am just focused on good hair care right now. Length will come. Check with your re-touch if you have to.
 
I definitely understand where you are coming from. And it really does take time. Just find joy in knowing that your hair is healthier then the length will follow.

I have been stretching my relaxer all year and I looked at a strand and I could tell that my hair is much stronger and healthier. It was a considerable difference. Just give it some time... trust me
 
What's going on with your edges?

Why do you think they are getting worse? Do they not like the pulling of the buns??

What are you doing to rectify that?
 
Enchantmt said:
I agree, you will probably see the length better once you relax, but keep in mind its only been 2.5 months, so thats just a little over an inch of growth, depending on your growth cycle. Basically if you can see your new growth, your hair is growing. Several things can cause you not to see the length. If you TRULY have not gained, and you have newgrowth, then you have breakage and need to bring it under control. Did you take pictures? Sometimes pictures will show what you cant see with the naked eye. Good luck, and dont give up. This takes time and patience!! :)
Click to expand...

I agree with what she said. But don't cry though!!! Dust yourself off, take a deep breath and keep on keepin on. The ladies here are wonderful and supportive.

Please post pics if you can. I agree that you may either not be seeing the growth or experiencing breakage.
 
Sis,

Don't give up. It does take time and I am a witness to that. I joined here in Nov 2003 but I didn't see any change in my hair until May 2005. You have to find what works for you. Like for me it took time for me to realize that during my own relaxers was killing my hair even though I was doing everything here right. Also my hair doesn't like the baggie method. You have to take the time and learn what works. My hair loves rollersets more than anything else. Also CO washes. I would love to be able to do CO washes and rollerset my hair every night. I just may try it for a week just to see how my hair likes it. I say all of that to say you have to try things but everything won't work for you.

Give it time, look at my album and you will see how horrible my hair was and then look at my signature and see the difference. Also post the pictures you have. We may see something that you don't
 
LadyR said:
Sis,

Don't give up. It does take time and I am a witness to that. I joined here in Nov 2003 but I didn't see any change in my hair until May 2005. You have to find what works for you. Like for me it took time for me to realize that during my own relaxers was killing my hair even though I was doing everything here right. Also my hair doesn't like the baggie method. You have to take the time and learn what works. My hair loves rollersets more than anything else. Also CO washes. I would love to be able to do CO washes and rollerset my hair every night. I just may try it for a week just to see how my hair likes it. I say all of that to say you have to try things but everything won't work for you.

Give it time, look at my album and you will see how horrible my hair was and then look at my signature and see the difference. Also post the pictures you have. We may see something that you don't
Click to expand...

Nice advice LadyR. Im trying to check out your album but the password PRAISE HIM isn't quite working. I'm typing it in all caps, and with a space. is that correct?
 
I know it can get discouraging at times. And sometimes when you want to cry you need to do it and get it out of your system. I also understand not feeling up to posting pics but, I think, you can at least take them and keep them for your own reference so you can see how far you have come.

2.5 months is still relatively new. It often takes time to get a good regimen together and, my experience has been, I have to adjust my regimen based on current length, weather/season, and condition of my hair. You'll find what works for you.

Keep your head up.:)
 
I feel your pain because I understand your frustration. However, the only advice I can give to you is that, this is a long-term process and you will not see result overnight. The only way you will be able to deal with the many disappointments that will come your way during your haircare journey is by conditioning your mind that there are no quick fixes and results will come in time if you continue to implement good hair care routines. Just remember that your hair is growing! Might not be as fast as other people's but.., it is growing and if you continue to do things that work for your hair, you will eventually see the results you are looking for. I used to be anxious and frustrated just like you, but after analyzing my expectations, I realized that I was setting myself up for failure. The best thing for you to do for yourself is to create a hair care routine that you see yourself doing for at least 18 months and stick with it. Forget about the quick fixes because when it doesn't happen, you are going to be depressed. Appreciate the tiny progress differences you see with your hair and minimize the negatives because focusing too much on the negatives will cause you to give up, probably cut your hair off, and can discourage you from sticking to your routine. Take a deep breathe, pick yourself up and use your frustration as a motivating factor to stay in the game. Take a look at members rags to riches photo albums and you will see that Rome was not built in a day. Trust me, your hair will not be the same in the next 12 months.
 
Don't be discouraged! It is going to take some time, and although 2.5 months seems like a long time, it isn't really. Just stick to your routine and take it day by day. You'll see progress in no time. We all get discouraged from time to time, but we are here to encourage one another when it seems like our goals aren't being met soon enough. Trust me, once you get to your desired length, you'll be sending words of encouragement to other members too. HTH. :)
 
2cute2B4gotten said:
Don't be discouraged! It is going to take some time, and although 2.5 months seems like a long time, it isn't really. Just stick to your routine and take it day by day. You'll see progress in no time. We all get discouraged from time to time, but we are here to encourage one another when it seems like our goals aren't being met soon enough. Trust me, once you get to your desired length, you'll be sending words of encouragement to other members too. HTH. :)
Click to expand...

i agree. it's going to take some time. be persistent and have patience and you'll reach your goal.
 
Please please please dont give up. I feel your pain. We started taking care of our hair around the same time and believe me its not easy. Its not easy being on a site where there are women w/ beautiful, healthy, long hair. But that should be your inspiration. By seeing them you should believe in yourself that u too will get there some day. It may not be over night (I wish it was) but it will come. You say that you had long hair in your pre-teens so u know your growth cycle is capable of growing long hair. Just take a deep breath and whether than looking for growth look at how healthy your hair has become or becoming. I want this just as bad as the next but I also know it will take some time. So perfect your regimen and work on finding whats right for your hair. Girl I and everyone else on here has faith in you. Good luck and keep your head up
 
InJesusName said:
Ladies I am so discouraged:cry: I have been working so hard on my hair consistently since August 28th, and I was so looking forward to getting a blow out so I could check my progress. Considering all the co-washes, vitamins, topical ointments and exercise, I was sure that I would see a change in my hair since my last chemical service. I have stretched for 10 weeks (which has been hard) and done everything "by the book" I took a look at my length after my blowot and my hair looks the SAME LENGTH!!!!!! To make matters worse, my poor hairline which was already thin looks thinner. My hair has that damaged, thin seethrough look at the ends. At first I thought it was due to the multiple textures from stretching, but now I realize that my hair is in horrible condition.

I want long hair SOOOOOOO bad which is why I committed to this site and have adopted so many "healthy hair practices" This does not seem to be working for me. I feel like I am the oddball who can't grow her hair. Am I just dreaming?

I feel like all of my work is in vain. I hate to be such a cry baby, but I am so disappointed.

:cry: :cry: :cry:
Click to expand...

What is your regimen and the name of the products that you use? Do you tend to put your hair in a bun tight? Is your hair normally thin, medium, or thick?
 
Last edited:
Dont be discouraged.

Do take pictures so that you can see the progress. Please dont be ashamed to post pictures. We are all here to support and help each other.

You will have the head of hair you want with time and patience.
 
First of all, congratulations on having healthy, non=split ends!:) That's worth a lot right there.

Second, are you pulling your hair back very tight into your buns? That can definitely cause thinning sides, as well as headaches. What are you using to secure your buns? Hair pins, scrunchies...

We all have had those "throw in the towel", frustrating moments when it comes to our hair. Sometimes the best thing to do is just put your hair up and forget about it as best you can for a while. I'm sure it's grown some, hair is constantly growing, and as long as it's not breaking off at the ends, you will see the length once it's completely straight.

Two months worth of growth would be about one inch on average, "super-duper miracle oil concoctions" notwithstanding.;)
 
simone103 said:
What is your regimen and the name of the products that you use? Do you tend to put your hair in a bun tight? Is your hair normally thin, medium, or thick?
Click to expand...

My hair is fine, so I have to be careful with products I choose.

I was Co washing on Tuesdays and Thursdays with NTM daily conditioner. I pre-pooed on Fridays with EVOO and Salerm 21 and a baggie then washed on Saturdays followed by a deep conditioner. I would apply a leave in and WGHO to seal then use MTG on my scalp.

I recently changed because my edges are really thin and pulling my hair back does not look very good. I also got a little lazy. My current regimen is to Co wash and deep condition on Wednesdays. I still pre-poo on Fridays and wash and deep condition on Saturdays. I have stopped the MTG since my hair is not wet as much and I don't have the patience anymore. The time I spent applying MTG is now spent roller setting which is my new protective style. I haven't fully mastered it, but this keeps my edges covered. I moisturize and pin curl my hair at night and it looks pretty good until my next wash.
 
Synthia said:
What's going on with your edges?

Why do you think they are getting worse? Do they not like the pulling of the buns??

What are you doing to rectify that?
Click to expand...


I made the fatal mistake of getting tree braids in July with micro braids around the edges. My edges were pretty fragile before I got the braids, but after a six month relaxer stretch I thought it would be safe. Well, I was wrong!!!!!!! When I took the braids out, my hair was almost gone and I had a section in the front that is about 1 inch long:eek: . It's so bad I have to wear bangs with my buns. Since then I have been trying to baby my edges, but I swear they seem to be getting thinner.

So far I tried surge and MTG but surge broke me out. I have been doing scalp massages with rosemary oil, but I am considering visiting a dermatologist to see if cortizone injections will work. I welcome any suggestions!
 
Put some emu oil on your edges.

Read up on it...It's supposed to jumpstart hair follicles.

Can't vouch for that yet -- as I just started using emu oil products last month ... but I love them and in my imaginations my thinnish temples are getting better. :)
 
InJesusName said:
My hair is fine, so I have to be careful with products I choose.

I was Co washing on Tuesdays and Thursdays with NTM daily conditioner. I pre-pooed on Fridays with EVOO and Salerm 21 and a baggie then washed on Saturdays followed by a deep conditioner. I would apply a leave in and WGHO to seal then use MTG on my scalp.

I recently changed because my edges are really thin and pulling my hair back does not look very good. I also got a little lazy. My current regimen is to Co wash and deep condition on Wednesdays. I still pre-poo on Fridays and wash and deep condition on Saturdays. I have stopped the MTG since my hair is not wet as much and I don't have the patience anymore. The time I spent applying MTG is now spent roller setting which is my new protective style. I haven't fully mastered it, but this keeps my edges covered. I moisturize and pin curl my hair at night and it looks pretty good until my next wash.
Click to expand...

You should try putting your hair in a french roll as a protective style. I think that would be less stressful on your hair than putting it into a bun. You didn't mention what shampoo or deep conditioner you use - but use something that's really moisturizing. These are just suggestions - Keracare humecto & hydrating shampoo, Kenra moisturizing shampoo & conditioner, DHD H2o shampoo and Moisture conditioner are really good. For the edges, the only thing I can suggest is keeping them as moisturized as humanly possible and relaxing them every other relaxer.

Honestly, sometimes less is more. Try washing and deep conditioning your hair once a week. Also, incorporate a reconstructor in your regimen. Nexxus Keraphix is a good reconstructor that you can use either once a week or every two weeks. I use keraphix as a pre-poo on my dry hair, put a hot steaming small towel on it and place a plastic cap on it for 15 minutes and then follow it with a shampoo and deep moisturizing conditioner (with a hot steaming towel and plastic cap for 15 minutes) once a week. HTH
 
Last edited:
DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

This is a long road we travel. We have to crawl b4 we walk!

I just started in August & I am so happy with just the fact of having healthier hair (I keep telling myself this to stay motivated & with hopes that the growth will follow!)!!

As far as the edges, I feel you. Mine are thinning as well as my top (you can almost see thru the hairs!) I know some of the thinning is from hereditary (sux) but the devil is a lie on that one too!

I am using MN on them to bring my hair back (it's growing slowly but surely!) and I'm waiting for my castor oil to get here (for thickness) bcuz the ladies here have HIGH praise for it!

It's only been 3 months, but we ALL gotta hang in there. As long as we all have each other for support, ideas and 'tried-&-trues', there is light @ the end of the tunnel!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

asubeauty
I Give Up!!!!!!
Replies
13
Views
2K
PretteePlease
PretteePlease
S
Devasted......
2
Replies
31
Views
4K
JJamiah
JJamiah
S
New Here
Replies
8
Views
761
stargazer613
stargazer613
Crystalicequeen123
How do you all keep your hair so THICK?!?!
Replies
22
Views
4K
Vitality
Vitality
mscurly
I GIVE UP I NEED HELP!
Replies
27
Views
4K
NaturalEnigma
NaturalEnigma
Back
Top