I gave her a warning

Leeda.the.Paladin

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
I was at work talking to another girl (Caucasian) who'd said she was watching the Tyra show. She'd seen the episode Tyra did on hair recently.

I was telling her that Tyra wore a lot of wigs, which for some reason she did not catch from the show :rolleyes: but now she is wearing her real hair, yada yada.

Another AA lady (with a relaxed asymmetrical bob) came near us sweeping the floor and the girl I'm talking to turns to her and asks her out of the blue without a hello or anything "Are you wearing a wig today?"

Other lady gives a quick "no" while I try to catch myself from falling off the counter I was leaning on.

Girl: Well, is your hair relaxed or is that your natural hair?
Lady: (trying to sweep as fast as she could and get out of our area) I relax it.
Girl: You shouldn't do that, it damages it.
Me: Don't you bleach your hair?
Girl: Yeah...
Me: (smiling) You shouldn't do that, it damages it.

The other lady had left at the point and I don't blame her.

I turned to the girl and said: "You really don't need to ask anybody if they're wearing their real hair, you are lucky you asked her instead of someone else. People get really sensitive about that. Don't you watch Oprah?"

I then proceeded to tell her about how Oprah gave a warning on her show to white people not to ask black women if their hair was real.

She has also referred to my hair as "nappy" in the past and I took that opportunity to also say that while I did not mind it, that she probably shouldn't call any other AA women's hair "nappy". I know "nappy" is a fighting word for a lot of people.

This person is someone who's kind of blunt anyway, but ignorance on a subject and being blunt do not mix :nono:

You would think all of these shows and movies about black hair would've improved knowledge on the subject but things just seem to be getting worst. Everyone seems misinformed. I've had two people ask me why my natural hair doesn't look like Tyra's "natural" hair.

Getting a little sick of it all.
 
I remember a classmate in kindergarten asking me what type of grease I put in my hair.
She looked at me dead serious and asked "the same grease they use on cars???"

Ignorance is everywhere and you can't help EVERYBODY!!!
 
Wow, :cup: at how you handled that. I am amazed at how you and the lady who was sweeping up kept your cool. It is so hard to not freak out when clears disrespect us (even if it is unintentional).

By you telling her so calm and collected, she is more likely to remember and heed your words. (I hope!)
 
newslady said:
I remember a classmate in kindergarten asking me what type of grease I put in my hair.
She looked at me dead serious and asked "the same grease they use on cars???"

Ignorance is everywhere and you can't help EVERYBODY!!!
Click to expand...

At least your classmate was a child and had something of an excuse :lachen:

LadyPaniolo said:
Wow, :cup: at how you handled that. I am amazed at how you and the lady who was sweeping up kept your cool. It is so hard to not freak out when clears disrespect us (even if it is unintentional).

By you telling her so calm and collected, she is more likely to remember and heed your words. (I hope!)
Click to expand...

The lady sweeping is really sweet. She doesn't like confrontation and is a genuinely good person. It could've been really ugly if it were someone else.

I don't normally mind questions, but sometimes I start feeling like a bug under a microscope. I also don't like people who watch one 45 minute television show and all of a sudden are experts.
 
Wow just wow

I really wish that Regina Kim's documentary "My nappy roots" got more publicity and nationwide release on the big screen. I do belive that Chris Rock did copy it after seeing another trailer of My nappy roots she showed the Bonner Brothers hair show, there was historical reference, there was talk about the Indian hair industry. Celebs were talking about how the love the verstility of afro textured hair.

I downloaded a little bit of Good Hair and it's just weaves and relaxes and not a lot of where the actual term "good hair" came from which you think would be there since the movie is called "good hair."

My nappy roots videos
http://www.youtube.com/user/regikim
 
KCcurly said:
Girl: Well, is your hair relaxed or is that your natural hair?
Lady: (trying to sweep as fast as she could and get out of our area) I relax it.
Girl: You shouldn't do that, it damages it.
Me: Don't you bleach your hair?
Girl: Yeah...
Me: (smiling) You shouldn't do that, it damages it.
Click to expand...
:dead:

oh the humanity.
 
a new (white) friend of mine told me how she "learned" from Tyra's show that black women don't like their hair and want it to be like white people's hair. I thought back to the threads on here and how all these shows portray negative views on AA women and our hair. Granted, her comment didn't bother me because it's not her fault she now believes that... but when I tried to elaborate on how that is not true about all AA women I could see in her eyes that she turned her brain off... and was not listening to a word I was saying.

I'm getting really tired of what these TV shows and movies are doing... And why does it seem like all of a sudden there is a huge interest and curiosity about our hair?

Anyways, I hope you got through to that girl and she didn't turn off her brain like my friend did. I'm glad you said what you did.
 
She sounds so crazy that she probably won't heed your warning. Watch ... she's gonna pull that on the wrong people and get her little feelings hurt.
 
^^^ When she tries that on the wrong person and gets screamed on, it won't hurt her feelings. She'll just chalk it up to how irrational, overly-sensitive and huffy black folks are. :rolleyes:
 
KCcurly said:
At least your classmate was a child and had something of an excuse :lachen:



The lady sweeping is really sweet. She doesn't like confrontation and is a genuinely good person. It could've been really ugly if it were someone else.

I don't normally mind questions, but sometimes I start feeling like a bug under a microscope. I also don't like people who watch one 45 minute television show and all of a sudden are experts.
Click to expand...
I think ur hair is absolutely gorgeous myself! But at the same time speaking about the caucasion woman, she was ignorant along with very fortunate that she asked that lady about her hair and not another AA, cause I know it probably would've gotten really ugly for her. Some people should really learn how to keep their opinions to themselves especially not being knowlegable about AA hair in the first place.
 
Who just blurts out and asks folks if they're wearing a wig? People just have no manners.
 
Oasis said:
Who just blurts out and asks folks if they're wearing a wig? People just have no manners.
Click to expand...

IA, that was so rude. Even among white people themselves when they suspect one of them is wearing a wig, I don't think they just straight up ask if the hair is real like that. If they do have to ask, it'll be done discreetly. I don't see why she felt she had the right to speak to that lady like that. I'm sorry, but watching Tyra or Chris Rock's movie doesn't give you permission to do a damn thing :nono: .
 
I really can't stand those stupid questions. I've never seen a black person ask a white person why do people say you smell like wet dogs in the rain. I take offense when people ask sterotyping questions, out of the blue.
 
Ignorance is rampant - no matter how much truth or information is out there for all to see.

Needless to say, I'm not surprised.
 
washize said:
I really can't stand those stupid questions. I've never seen a black person ask a white person why do people say you smell like wet dogs in the rain. I take offense when people ask sterotyping questions, out of the blue.
Click to expand...

:dead:..........................
 
ive had ww ask me questions about my hair but they seem like they really want to know and its coming from a nice place. i got one ww at my job(who is just the sweetest person) to start wearing her curly hair. when i cut all my hair off she was so fascinated with the fact that i wanted to wear my natural hiar. she said she straightened her hair several times a week because she was told by an older friend that she couldnt get a good job with her hair. i told her her curls were beautiful and she should wear them(i had ever even seen her curl before) and since then she has been wearing her hair curl. she will stop by my desk just to say "you know, im starting to really like my hair like this".

some people really are curious and other are just stupid. how dare you have no class. urgh i just get so angry sometimes.
 
i once had a white girl ask me what kind of relaxer i used so she could get it for her daughter. i raised an eyebrow as i didnt know this chick aside from seeing her in the break room at work. i told her i dont relax my hair, that i'm natural. she than fixed her mouth to say "you cant be natural, your hair isnt nappy. my daughter is half black and has good hair, which is curlier than yours." being at work i couldnt let the inner hood rat out and just smiled and said "1st off, please dont use the words "nappy" or "good hair" in my presence as i am allergic to the incorrect use of these words. 2nd, not all black people have the same hair texture there for your daughters curl pattern has zero to do with my hair"

what made this worse is white girl had a black home girl that joined the "convo" by this time who also decided to insist i relaxed. i just told them i have a class to train and that i dont have time for section 8 discussion and walked my happy tail away. i used to still see them in the break room every so often (giving me the side eye) but i havent seen them in a while so i assume they are no longer employed at my establishment.

these are the same *****s that got in trouble taking food from another dept pot luck lol so they aint all there
 
what the!!!! why'd it star out *****s?!?!?! its not a bad word! just the plural of *****! i use that word all the time!
 
There is no excuse for rudeness! In this information age that we live in, if WW are really curious about AA hair, they can learn a lot by doing a simple web search! My soon to be ex boss told a client holding her brand new baby girl "you better enjoy that good hair while it lasts". I was disgusted! After the client left I told her not to use terms like that and that she was lucky she didn't get cussed out. How dare she!?! With her flat, skunk-stripped mullet! Jesus....
 
That was nice of you to explain to her that she cant be asking anybody.
IMO a lot of our own people are lost when it comes to hair so I really dont expect caucasians to know more about my hair.
 
mwedzi said:
That woman either has some social adjustment problem or she's messing with y'all.:rolleyes:
Click to expand...

She's like that a lot. She's very country and just blurts stuff out. I like her in spite of this, but I had to say something this time. I really don't think she any ill will.
 
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