i don't look at men

[brg240]

I realize I often will not look at men or I won't look at their faces. If I know them I might but if I'm passing them on the street I'll look down, the opposite direction, at my mp3 player/phone, or past them

I know I must be coming off so extremely rude. I want to stop this and I try to force myself to look at people in the face but I still end up looking down. (I used to be like this with women too but I've gotten better).

I was wondering if anyone else had this problem or formerly was like this?

 

[Mai Tai]

I've never been like this, but, I sometimes feel like the inability to look one in the eye may have a lot to do with your confidence level.

I don't think it's rude per se, but I know when I meet someone who cannot or will not look me in the eye, they come accross to me as having low self-esteem.

 

[VelvetRain]

Mai Tai is dead on. It is a confidence thing. I suffer from the same thing. I'm just really shy in general if I don't know. The only difference is that my self esteem is intact.

 

[Katherina]

I used to do this as a protective mechanism so men wouldn't approach me, but I stopped when I realized I was ignoring the good with the bad! Just force yourself to do it like you did with women! You'll get better once you make a habit of it.

 

[Daeuiel]

I instinctively do this when I'm in a relationship, but when I'm single I tend to make eye contact with men more often.

 

[Whimsy]

I only try not to make eye contact now just to avoid the possibility of a conversation.

I agree w/ Mai Tai re: confidence level and eye contact.

May I suggest trying to look at one person a day in the eyes and then upping it to 2, 3, 4, as you get more comfortable....

Do you walk with your head up in general or do you walk looking at the floor? Try keeping your chin up, it'll make eye contact easier.

Good Luck!!!

 

[natural_one]

hmm..I do the same thing. It doesn't matter if I am attracted to man or not, i don't look at them. I know i don't have a confidence issue. I think I do it because I dont want to give the guy any reason to hit on me.

 

[Hairsnob]

I have a friend like this and she will NOT look at a man in the face. Also, you know how you're out and about and say oh, look at that cute one over there she will NOT turn around to look.

Here's a tip on getting you to learn to make eye contact. Don't look at people directly in their eyes. Just look at people's foreheads. They will think you're looking in their eyes because they can't tell and it won't be as uncomfortable and it won't look so off. Believe me, it's the easiest thing to spot people who can't look you in the eye. That tip came from a job interview skills session but you can use it everywhere else.

Also, it's good to look at everybody passing you by just as a security precaution. If you look like you're not paying attention to your surroundings people would find you as an easier attack victim.

HTH

 

[brg240]

I've never been like this, but, I sometimes feel like the inability to look one in the eye may have a lot to do with your confidence level.

I don't think it's rude per se, but I know when I meet someone who cannot or will not look me in the eye, they come accross to me as having low self-esteem.

thanks, it is probably mostly a confidence problem. I am extremely self conscious.

I used to do this as a protective mechanism so men wouldn't approach me, but I stopped when I realized I was ignoring the good with the bad! Just force yourself to do it like you did with women! You'll get better once you make a habit of it.

I think it might be a bit of this too. I don't want men to talk to me, i'm not exactly sure why. I probably need to tell myself 'what's the worst that could happen?' Thanks I guess it will just come with practice.

 

[princessnad]

Well you say you do this to men in the street. I do that too. It reduces the amount of men that try to talk to me and works for the most part. If that's your reason, I see nothing wrong with it. If it's a confidence thing, work on the confidence and the rest will come naturally.

 

[Ipanema]

I avoid eye contact with men on the street, and I don't see anything wrong with it. If I'm saying hello to someone or having a conversation, then I'll look them in the eye. But random men on the street? No way. They'll just think it's a come on.

 

[mischka]

I don't look at men that I don't want talking to me

 

[SheenaVee]

When I was younger (early-mid teens) I never was able to look guys in the eye coz I was so shy. It wasn't that I wasn't confident, I was just really shy with boys. Now, I can look a guy in the eye easily but still, I don't do it all the time because it's true! They think you're coming on to them! I used to work in retail and most of the time when I would look a guy in the eye they'd start flirting.

 

[Dposh167]

i wouldn't say its a confidence issue unless u WANT to look at them, but u can't do it.
I don't make eye contact not for confidence reasons, but b.c. that's an automatic invite for them to holla