I don't like him.

[Ganjababy]

I think it is important to treat men with the same respect we expect for ourselves (when they have not given us any reasons not to, that is). I agree with those who say that you should just let him know that you are not interested in a further date instead of ignoring his texts or leaving him dangling.

 

[Ballerina_Bun]

I would just say via phone or text:

Thanks for the date. I think you are a nice guy but I don't see this going any further.

That's a nice response It's direct and you don't have to worry about "blowing him off" and hoping he gets the point.

Just be direct and tell him you aren't into him. That way, you're not wasting anyone's time.

If blowing him off works for you, do it. He'll get the hint. Hopefully.

Some guys don't get the hint, some do. I blew someone off last fall 2010 and he was still sending the occassional text in January 2011, " I don't know what number to reach you at anymore, but I .... blah blah blah ". ! I changed my number , even though I had long, LONG since stopped responding to his texts.

Okay I'll be upfront . . .

He keeps texting me. How do I do this? Do I come out and say "Look dawg, we ain't a love match. Keep it moving." I guess I'll wait until he brings up going again?

I wish I had good advice. I'm not always good at this either. It depends on who I am dealing with. Some will keep trying no matter what you say or do That's why I have 2 phones. I have one for those who may be potentially "undesireable" or people I just do not know well. Do not give out your main number to new dates.

I'm not interested in seeing you again. Please stop texting me.

I know it's harsh but it seems like kind and subtle struck out so it's harsh's turn. If he's still texting you after that, I'd just stop responding

That's blunt!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Wow...#1 would be an automatic deal-breaker for me I'm sorry.

The fact that he didn't go to college in itself doesn't bother me too much as the fact that he *thinks* that everyone who has gone to college are "chumps". That already tells me a LOT about him and his line of thinking.

I personally went to a 4-year University, but I could still date a man who hasn't been to college as long as he is well-read, intelligent, can carry on stimulating conversations, and does NOT "hate" college nor believe that people who go to college are wasting their time. I couldn't get w/a man who had different core values than I do I'm sorry.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Alright y'all. He texted me again this morning. The basic "how are you? how was your evening" text. Here is what I wrote back:

I am okay. Listein, I know this is really awkwawd but I feel that it is only fair that I let yo know that even though I had a nice enough time the other night, I just don't think we are a "match." We can certainly be friends, but nothing more. I hope you understand....

His response . . . unedited

Hmmmm....that's interesting that u don't think we r a match. I'm interested to here what gives u that impression sometime when we talk.

And THERE you have it

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hmmmm....that's interesting that u don't think we r a match. I'm interested to here what gives u that impression sometime when we talk.

Omg! I HATE when this happens!

Girrrrrl....don't get sucked into it! I got sucked into a 45 minute conversation turning this one guy down because he wanted to "talk" about it. Oh please! He doesn't really want to talk! He just wants to convince you and wear you down probably. Unless you are on the fence about this guy, I would NOT accept his invite to "talk" about why you're not interested in him.


Ugh...trust me, that was the most AWKWARD conversation EVER! Not only that, but it doesn't feel good (at least not to me anyway) to continue to try to tell the guy on the phone that he's just not what you're looking for, when he's constantly trying to give you excuses, and convince you ("how can you not like me? you don't even know me yet?"...blah blah blah... ).

Girrrrl......... Don't do it!

 

[kandake]

See, this is exactly why I ignore people until they stop calling.

Glib, you also left it open ended with the whole "friends" comment. You should have ended with "I wish you well, take care".

 

[Glib Gurl]

Omg! I HATE when this happens!

Girrrrrl....don't get sucked into it! I got sucked into a 45 minute conversation turning this one guy down because he wanted to "talk" about it. Oh please! He doesn't really want to talk! He just wants to convince you and wear you down probably. Unless you are on the fence about this guy, I would NOT accept his invite to "talk" about why you're not interested in him.


Ugh...trust me, that was the most AWKWARD conversation EVER! Not only that, but it doesn't feel good (at least not to me anyway) to continue to try to tell the guy on the phone that he's just not what you're looking for, when he's constantly trying to give you excuses, and convince you ("how can you not like me? you don't even know me yet?"...blah blah blah... ).

Girrrrl......... Don't do it!

Oh trust. I have no intentions of explaining myself to this fool.

Glib, you also left it open ended with the whole "friends" comment. You
should have ended with "I wish you well, take care".

Next time I will . . . that's what I get for trying to be nice!

 

[MzLady78]

Alright y'all. He texted me again this morning. The basic "how are you? how was your evening" text. Here is what I wrote back:



His response . . . unedited



And THERE you have it

Oh damn....sorry.

I really didn't see that response coming. If someone said that to me, I think I'd just keep it moving. I mean, does it really matter why to point where you have to have a conversation about it?

 

[TexturedTresses]

i think you handled it very well... he is just a glutton for punishment.

 

[hopeful]

Good for you for not planning on explaining yourself. You were upfront and honest, that's enough. And besides he knows why. He knows he has no education, no money, and a busted up car. Hate to sound mean but he was lucky you gave him a shot at all.

 

[ambergirl]

Oh trust. I have no intentions of explaining myself to this fool.



Next time I will . . . that's what I get for trying to be nice!

I don't think the problem is that you were too nice. If he's interested he would have followed up with the "why" question regardless.....unless you just totally blew him off

If you don't want to be friends with this guy then just pop off the, "no chemistry, thanks anyway" response and be done with it.

 

[gabulldawg]

Glib I think you did a great job!!! That was a great text. Very direct and straightforward. No confusion. I will agree with others that have said you could have left the friend part out, unless you plan on being his friend. Otherwise that was great! Now IMO if you want to ignore his texts/calls it would be okay since you already let him know the deal. If he chooses to ignore your words then that's on him!

 

[Glib Gurl]

Glib I think you did a great job!!! That was a great text. Very direct and straightforward. No confusion. I will agree with others that have said you could have left the friend part out, unless you plan on being his friend. Otherwise that was great! Now IMO if you want to ignore his texts/calls it would be okay since you already let him know the deal. If he chooses to ignore your words then that's on him!

Yeah, that is pretty much the plan.

Although I am SO tempted to write back: "Well, first of all you don't understand homonyms. And you text like a tween."

 

[SEMO]

Yeah, that is pretty much the plan.

Although I am SO tempted to write back: "Well, first of all you don't understand homonyms. And you text like a tween."

 

[Glib Gurl]

Do you know dude called me twice this afternoon?

 

[hopeful]

^^^Oh my! He is trippin'. Y'all went on just one date and he won't just drop it?

 

[Glib Gurl]

He just called again

 

[gabulldawg]

He just called again

If you've already made it clear that you aren't interested in him then just continue to ignore him!

 

[Glib Gurl]

And he texted me this morning

 

[Bubblingbrownshuga]

Some men can't take rejection- but they can reject you all day long.

 

[Daeuiel]

I know y'all said I was mean, but I have never had a guy keep calling or texting me after I told him what was up

Glib Gurl , what did you say to him? If you still haven't said anything at all, that's why he's still trying to contact you. Let him know trying to reach you is pointless and he'll stop

 

[CurlyMoo]

The next time he calls, pick it up! Be direct and tell him although you had a good time, it's not working for you. We are all adults, not in high school. Blowing people off, not cool nor mature. Let him walk away with his dignity and having met an example of a mature woman. Done. LOL

 

[Glib Gurl]

We are all adults, not in high school. Blowing people off, not cool nor mature. Let him walk away with his dignity and having met an example of a mature woman. Done. LOL

Neither is continuing to hound people after they've already given you the brush off But I hear you. Ugh. I do NOT want to have that awkward conversation

 

[sikora]

Alright y'all. He texted me again this morning. The basic "how are you? how was your evening" text. Here is what I wrote back:



His response . . . unedited



And THERE you have it

Please don't fall for his attempt at manipulating you into speaking to him again.

Do you really want to be friends with this guy? If not, please don't say things like " We can certainly be friends, but nothing more." Saying that still leaves an opening for him.

Finally, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE get a google voice number: https://www.google.com/voice

It's very easy to block someone with google voice so you won't have to put up with being harassed. You can send your closing message and then block them.

 

[sikora]

Next time I will . . . that's what I get for trying to be nice!

Unfortunately as women we are sometimes made to feel guilty for standing up for ourselves. Stop worrying about his feelings and take care of yourself.