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I Don't KNow If I Can Do This Anymore

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I havent read the responses...but has anyone suggested the never wet and loose method..I read about it on nappturality...u wash in braids and detangle after its dry..it will already be stretched..i cant give u all the specifics cause I've never used this method..but the ladies said it was a life saver...u may want to ask over there too..
 
I have a major headache and unfortunately this post will be lengthy so here goes --

I haven't read all posts so forgive me if it's a repeat. I know a thing a two about having tangly hair. I don't recall if you are natural or relaxed but I'm relaxed so here's what I found that works --

(1) Gently and quickly detangle by finger combing every few days because it speeds things up on poo day because you have less tangles to deal with.

(2) Separate hair is smaller sections because 4 sections were too large of an area. I now separate hair in 6-8 sections and temporarily clip hair with duckbill clips so that I can work with one section at a time.

(3) Saturate hair in an oil rather than water/condish mixture because those mixtures make my hair feel very stiff and the comb grips and tugs, thus causing breakage. Oil provides great slip. I think evoo or evco works great for detangling. Make sure you REALLY saturate hair very well -- that's the key.

(4) I quickly finger detangle to remove shed hairs one section at a time, then I use a very wide tooth comb to glide through the hair from tip to root. I don't spend much time detangling at this step because majority of the detangling comes while in the shower. Braid hair and secure with a barrette. When you're done, you will have 6-8 braids secured by barrettes.

(5) Don't disturb somewhat pre-detangled hair too much when pooing.

(6) I detangle while rinsing out DC. I unravel 1 braid, position head under shower so that this little section is all that's getting wet. I run comb through this area from tip to root to detangle while water is running over that area. If all the condish rinses out of this section before I'm fully detangled, the hair loses slip so I will STOP and apply a rinse out condish like Aussie Moist (great slip) to finish detangling this little section. When done with this section, I don't re-braid, I simply clip that section up with a duckbill clip.

(7) Repeat until done. Keep in mind, if you mistakenly rinse out some of your condish from other areas while rinsing a section...apply some rinse out condish before detangling or the hair will lose its slip.

Side note -- I find that ceramides are excellent for detangling (even better than evoo and evco) and provides softness to the hair. I now pre-detangle with wheat germ oil and add some hemp to my DC. I never knew what it felt like to have tangles melt out of hair....but now I do. :lick: Ceramides is where it's at.

Mane and Tail Detangler is also good for adding a little extra umph to your detangling once you're out of the shower.
 
Forgive me if I missed this:

How often do you try to detangle?

I find the longer I go between sessions the more time I spend detangling when I get around to it. I probably am cowashing and detangling at a pretty frequent rate (every day/ every other day), but I would rather spend little bits of time spread out rather than one long aggravating session every now and again.

I had a huge reminder of that on vacation this summer. My hair was just out in a big lush fro/ ponypuff for about a week with some pathetic finger combing here and there. You know vacation from doing my hair too. Trust me it took FOREVER to undo. I dont care how fabulous my fro pictures look or how many compliments i got on the fullness and roundness. I never want to spend that much time and conditioner on detangling ever again.
 
Qtee said:
I havent read the responses...but has anyone suggested the never wet and loose method..I read about it on nappturality...u wash in braids and detangle after its dry..it will already be stretched..i cant give u all the specifics cause I've never used this method..but the ladies said it was a life saver...u may want to ask over there too..
Click to expand...

I've tried this method except my hair was in twists and it has worked really well for my hair. I only detangle on stretched, semi dry, conditioned/damp hair. Also adding oil to my hair while I detangle has been a life saver as well. Detangling my 4b hair in a shrunken state has been disastrous and time consuming for me.

I made a thread a few months ago regarding detangling. I made the thread out of frustration but it helped me tremendously. The responses gave me a lot of ideas on techniques I could use to detangle. It also help me establish my current detangling regimen. Now it only takes 30min-1 hr for me to detangle depending on the style I had my hair in. Keep in mind, I usually detangle every 2 weeks when I'm not in a long term protective style.

Good luck OP! I can definitely empathize with how you feel. I have been there;)! Please check out my thread when you get a chance:

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/forum6/thread478030.html
 
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JC-Junkie said:
My regimen is I DC once a week with Naked Boost Vitamin Treatment mixed with amla oil and L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Treatment
Co-wash my hair 2-4 time a week with Aussie Moist Conditioner
Moisturise every night with water,EVOO, and my L'Oreal Elvive Ceramide Leave In
Baggy every night with my moisturiser in
Click to expand...
Forgive me, I haven't really read most of the thread. But one thing i notice right off the bat is your frequent cowashing. I'm assuming you're a 4a/b mix, just like me, right??
my hair definitely does not enjoy all that cowashing-it would encourage lots of tangles. I wash and DC once a week.
do you DC with heat?? that may make a big difference.
also, your hair may not actually like baggying-my hair tangled and acted like a brat when i was baggying and my strands broke off.
do you wear your hair stretched??
sorry for all the questions.
 
JC-Junkie said:
Thanks ladies :)

LFN I shed about 5-8 hairs a day during the winter months
Click to expand...
First, I'm really sorry this is happening to you - I have had bad detangling sessions before and I've cried too! It wasn't 4 hours, but I so upset and my arms hurt so bad!

Are you sure this is what you are actually shedding, or only what you see or get out? I'm just asking because I don't ever get shed hairs unless I am finger styling or detangling because my hair is so thick - when I'm not running my fingers through my hair it still sheds, but it gets caught in my hair, which causes crazy tangles.

Have you tried to use a paddle brush? I think I would also cry if I was trying to detangle with a wide tooth comb, and my hair is short! I use a brush like this now on my hair -

07410872650_220x220_a.jpg


Seriously, it's been a lifesaver for me. I only detangle once a week and only lose a small ball (there's a pic on the shedding thread) of hair. The teeth don't rip out my hair like a denman and the soft pad of the brush has more give and allows me to work through tangles.
 
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Okay...I know this goes against some peoples hair religion but I gotta ask.... have U ever tried to NOT baggy ur hair? I asked this..because ..Baggying is the devil for me.. i'm a 4a/b..and when I baggy my hair..it always leaves me with more tangles then I ask for. Only time I even put a baggy on my hair is either to prepoo or DC...that's it.. I never leave the baggy on..I always get more tangles which requires more time. Also ..i know u dont want to be so harsh and rough with ur hair, but maybe it's your technique.. being gentle is one thing..being overly gentle..can probably cause a long hair detangling session as well. See if you can tweek ur technique to where ur just as gentle, but not so long with it...
 
I read all of the comments/responses and the two major things that stuck out to me are that you are only washing every 3 weeks but are co-washing a few times a week. Co-washing can definitely be the culprit especially since you are not washing often. Co-washing too much leaves a residue on my hair/scalp that I have to damn there scratch off or shampoo thoroughly. That residue contributes to my knots and tangles. How often are you detangling? (I don't think you said... I could be wrong. My mind is in another place tonight.)
 
Thank you guys !! Thank you very very much sorry I hadn't been able to respond earlier. It was 4:00 in the morning here in England so I had to get some sleep. But thank you all very much and I will get back to you on how it goes.

Thank You Ladies
HHG !
 
EllePixie said:
First, I'm really sorry this is happening to you - I have had bad detangling sessions before and I've cried too! It wasn't 4 hours, but I so upset and my arms hurt so bad!

Are you sure this is what you are actually shedding, or only what you see or get out? I'm just asking because I don't ever get shed hairs unless I am finger styling or detangling because my hair is so thick - when I'm not running my fingers through my hair it still sheds, but it gets caught in my hair, which causes crazy tangles.

Have you tried to use a paddle brush? I think I would also cry if I was trying to detangle with a wide tooth comb, and my hair is short! I use a brush like this now on my hair -

07410872650_220x220_a.jpg


Seriously, it's been a lifesaver for me. I only detangle once a week and only lose a small ball (there's a pic on the shedding thread) of hair. The teeth don't rip out my hair like a denman and the soft pad of the brush has more give and allows me to work through tangles.
Click to expand...

This is what I see come out, this detangling session I didn't see much hair it was a small ball about 70 hairs in total from 7 days so I shedded about 10 hairs a day. And I only see them when I detangle my hair also or am finger styling. I'm interested in the paddle brush, might have to buy one.

Rocky91 said:
Forgive me, I haven't really read most of the thread. But one thing i notice right off the bat is your frequent cowashing. I'm assuming you're a 4a/b mix, just like me, right??
my hair definitely does not enjoy all that cowashing-it would encourage lots of tangles. I wash and DC once a week.
do you DC with heat?? that may make a big difference.
also, your hair may not actually like baggying-my hair tangled and acted like a brat when i was baggying and my strands broke off.
do you wear your hair stretched??
sorry for all the questions.
Click to expand...

Lately I haven't been co-washing so frequently, I only co-wash my hair when I'm going out, but other than that I don't actually co-wash which is why I wash from 2 - 4 times a week depending on how often I go out. Most time I wear my hair in a puff. I wash my hair in four sections and then let it dry to about 60-70 % and then a take down the sections and put it in a puff. I have only started baggying this week, and it was quicker to detangle this week than last week, when I hadn't started baggying, last week was 4 hours whilst this one was 3 hours 30 mins, not much of a difference but you know..... when I shampoo my hair suffers and gets very dry, so I try to keep it to a minimum. Also I don't have anything that can provide heat for me while DCing apart from a hand held blow dryer, but I don't thin I can stand there holding a dryer over my head for 3 hours at least :nono: :)

Truth said:
Okay...I know this goes against some peoples hair religion but I gotta ask.... have U ever tried to NOT baggy ur hair? I asked this..because ..Baggying is the devil for me.. i'm a 4a/b..and when I baggy my hair..it always leaves me with more tangles then I ask for. Only time I even put a baggy on my hair is either to prepoo or DC...that's it.. I never leave the baggy on..I always get more tangles which requires more time. Also ..i know u dont want to be so harsh and rough with ur hair, but maybe it's your technique.. being gentle is one thing..being overly gentle..can probably cause a long hair detangling session as well. See if you can tweek ur technique to where ur just as gentle, but not so long with it...
Click to expand...

I'm overly gentle because when I see broken hairs I freak out. I saw a total of 10 broken hairs yesterday, so I become too gentle with my hair. Also because I feel like I don't actually know what I'm doing, and probably I don't, I try to go about my hair in the most gentle way possible.

SkysMommy said:
I read all of the comments/responses and the two major things that stuck out to me are that you are only washing every 3 weeks but are co-washing a few times a week. Co-washing can definitely be the culprit especially since you are not washing often. Co-washing too much leaves a residue on my hair/scalp that I have to damn there scratch off or shampoo thoroughly. That residue contributes to my knots and tangles. How often are you detangling? (I don't think you said... I could be wrong. My mind is in another place tonight.)
Click to expand...

I haven't been co-washing so frequently as of late. I only co-wash when I go out so hwn I'm at home I leave my hair in 4 twists.

When I wash out my DC I leave my hair in those same four twists and when I co-wash my hair it is in those same twists from the DC until I have to take it out to style. Then when I come home I put my hair in 4 twists, after moisturising my hair and put a bag on top of it and a bonnet then I go to sleep.
 
I wash in 8 sections, loose in scrunchies
Shampoo with CON for brittle hair, lightly finger detangle
Deep con with ORS Replenishing Pak every other time. Deep con every time with a moisturizing con.
Rinse con out section by section,
then I detangle with my wide tooth comb on damp to wet hair (ends to roots), add leave in's (s-curl, creamy leave-in, then oil), then twist it up
I lose way more hair when I detangle hair that's loaded with conditioner
I hardly lose any hair at all when I detangle freshly washed, conditioned, rinsed hair
It has taken me a long time (years) to discover an easy way to detangle my natural hair. It used to take me forever, hours like you, now just an hour
You have to experiment
Try different products
Try different techniques until you find what works for YOU
You have to be patient, persistent, and optimistic
You obviously are doing something right if you are APL
Think positively and find your solution girl
Don't give up
 
You said most times you wear your hair in a puff...... Maybe your hair does not like to be in puffs. I did not wear those often unless it was blow dried when I was natural so of course I don't know whether or not it contributes to tangles but it's a thought
 
I'm relaxed with rather short, thin hair so I don't know how much help I can be, but maybe a different DC might help...? I find that my NG needs no detangling when I use my staple DCs of Motions Silk Protein or Motions Moisture Plus once to twice a week. I cowash daily but the DC gives me that initial slip; if I go too long without DCing, tangle (and shed) city.
 
JC-Junkie said:
Most time I wear my hair in a puff. I wash my hair in four sections and then let it dry to about 60-70 % and then a take down the sections and put it in a puff.
Click to expand...

This may be your problem. I know for me, I can't do wash n go's/puffs. I still try to pull off puffs here and there out of convenience, but I already know that when next wash days comes, my hair is going to be a challenge! Keep that in mind!

Are there any styles you are comfortable trying on yourself? I just recently started to take the time out learning how to attempt to style my hair. I am def. no hair dresser, but I'm learning.
 
Frankly, this is precisely why I bkt'd. For some people thats not an option though, and I can't recommend the denman enough. Even when my bkt had worn off it STILL made detangling way way easier. In sections under running water with a little conditioner helps too.
 
bravenewgirl87 said:
I'm seriously not understand why it should take you any longer than 15 minutes to detangle your hair. How long is it BTW?
Click to expand...

It really all depends on your hair type and how you are detangling/breaking down in sections. I know for me, it takes no longer than 20min. But, for other naturals they may indeed need to take a bit longer time to detangle. I think, Sera (YT) take hour(s) to detangle her hair.
 
Make sure you moisturize your hair when it is dry. I find that I have more problems detangling when my hair is dry. I make sure to put in my moisture and seal, and when I do that, detangling is much easier. I actually ALWAYS detangle my dry, very well moisturized hair, prior to wetting it. I find that detangling wet hair can cause it to stretch etc.
 
I would recommend the following before you alter your hair texture

1. I would personally recommend steaming your hair. I got my hair steamer off ebay some company called LCN it was $119.99 and free shipping. It's easy to assemble and it works great. I don't have pictures but it will make your hair so much more manageable. I have 2 textures and it's a wonder.

2. As far as the comb, I would recommend the big detangling comb from hairsense.com. Yes, it's pricey but your hair will thank you by behaving nice. I love those combs and keep them somewhere safe and they are really top quality.

3. You want to make sure that as you go through the week that you keep that hair moisturized and use a product that has glycerin as the first listed ingredients. I would say that detangling happens everyday by keeping the hair most, using your fingers from time to time to separate the knots, etc.

4. How do you keep your hair at night before going to bed because that also may be creating more matting for you.
Really think about what you are or not doing to your hair that may be keeping it dry and matting.

Hope this helps doll!!
 
Aww, I'm so sorry you're still having issues jc-junkie. :bighug: You've gotten some great advice in this thread, especially re: the things you can do to reduce tangling in the first place.
 
I hope you'll find a solution that fits your lifestyle. Try not to take a decision while you're upset. 10 broken hair on wash day is very little breakageif you ask me, I get a lot more and still manage to have a thick BSL head of hair.

My hair tangles a lot too. Here is what works for me:
  • Oil rinses
  • Detangling with a dripping Denman brush
  • Part the hair in 6 parts when I detangle. I part again in three and detangle from the bottom up. I have 18 sections and each of them takes 1 or 2 minutes to be detangled
  • Braiding or twisting the hair at night
  • Never letting the hair shrink completely, this prevents tangles
  • Trim regularly ( try not to overdo it)
  • I only detangle every time I wash, after DC. I detangle with my fingers every night before braiding my hair for the night.
  • I'd say henna, but considering what happened to Thiends recently I'm reluctant to recommend that to you.
 
I kind of think that detangling my hair with a comb might not be doing it for me. I've tried three different wide tooth combs, but to no avail, so I'm going to try a brush like a denman or the tangle teaser. I also think that because I'm scared of breaking my hair when I section my hair in 4 sections, I section each section again into little sections and finger detangle then and then comb through.
 
Thank you ladies ! Do you still think I should carry on with the wide tooth comb or try a denman brush or something similar like the tangling teaser ?
 
Said it before say it again. Philip kingsley elasticizer. Slather it on go to sleep in 6-8 chunky twists. Wake up and DC with heat and those bad boyz should detangle like butter.
 
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