I am so frustrated with my hair ladies! Am I just being impatient?

[HoneyDew]

I am not feeling good about the hair today yall. With every relaxer I have to get a trim. My hair never grows more than a 1/2 inch anyway then I end up trimming half of that every time!!

When I try to go without trimming, my hair has frizzy ends and I get breakage. I just prefer trimmed ends because my hair just looks and feels better that way.

At this rate, it will take forever to reach my 1st goal of even hair!!! I stopped using growth aids but I feel so tempted to whip something out to give me a boost.

I do see some progress but I feel so discouraged right now.

My BF has long hair that he wears in a ponytail. His hair is so nice and I have to admit, I am jealous of him. I should not compare his virgin type 2 hair to my relaxed type 4 hair, but it is not fun seeing your man's hair make more progress than your own. I trimmed about 3 inches of his hair at the end of May and it has already grown back! Pathetic I know - jealous of my man's hair.

Is this normal and I am just being impatient? Is there anyone that can go without trimming? If so, how do you do it?

 

[Dannygirl]

*hugs you* I'm sorry honey it well come with due time...

 

[Royal Glory]

Hi HoneyDew,

Ahhh. Try not to be too discouraged. We all feel like that sometimes, but you have pretty hair. Keep striving. Your hard work will pay off.

Have you considered only dusting every other touch up? Can you go on a single split-ends hunt, only dusting those hairs? Shea has a thread about that today.

Best wishes! Hang in there!

 

[chocolatesis]

I am not feeling good about the hair today yall. With every relaxer I have to get a trim. My hair never grows more than a 1/2 inch anyway then I end up trimming half of that every time!!

When I try to go without trimming, my hair has frizzy ends and I get breakage. I just prefer trimmed ends because my hair just looks and feels better that way.

At this rate, it will take forever to reach my 1st goal of even hair!!! I stopped using growth aids but I feel so tempted to whip something out to give me a boost.

I do see some progress but I feel so discouraged right now.

My BF has long hair that he wears in a ponytail. His hair is so nice and I have to admit, I am jealous of him. I should not compare his virgin type 2 hair to my relaxed type 4 hair, but it is not fun seeing your man's hair make more progress than your own. I trimmed about 3 inches of his hair at the end of May and it has already grown back! Pathetic I know - jealous of my man's hair.

Is this normal and I am just being impatient? Is there anyone that can go without trimming? If so, how do you do it?

Funny, but true!

I feel that way sometimes. I want my MBL hair NOW...NOW...NOW! What I have learned is that when you feel that way, it's time to do something different with your hair--even if it's just for 2-3 wks. You can wear cornrows for 2-3 wks or braids for like 5-6 wks at a time. I say 5-6 wks at a time because I've learned that when you leave braids in for a short period of time (like 5-6 wks) then there is less hair loss when you take them out.

 

[Cayenne0622]

I am not feeling good about the hair today yall. With every relaxer I have to get a trim. My hair never grows more than a 1/2 inch anyway then I end up trimming half of that every time!!

When I try to go without trimming, my hair has frizzy ends and I get breakage. I just prefer trimmed ends because my hair just looks and feels better that way.

At this rate, it will take forever to reach my 1st goal of even hair!!! I stopped using growth aids but I feel so tempted to whip something out to give me a boost.

I do see some progress but I feel so discouraged right now.

My BF has long hair that he wears in a ponytail. His hair is so nice and I have to admit, I am jealous of him. I should not compare his virgin type 2 hair to my relaxed type 4 hair, but it is not fun seeing your man's hair make more progress than your own. I trimmed about 3 inches of his hair at the end of May and it has already grown back! Pathetic I know - jealous of my man's hair.

Is this normal and I am just being impatient? Is there anyone that can go without trimming? If so, how do you do it?

Awww honeyyyy!! I had to come check in when I saw this post was from you! Try not to be discouraged. I dust my hair pretty often and that works out a lot better than trimming at every relaxer. I am seeing a lot of growth despite a couple of trims and a few dustings. Hang in there, mama. Healthy hair = length. It'll get there.

 

[preciousjewel76]

Awwww, HoneyDew , I feel for ya.

Have you been under a lot of stress lately? Any medical conditions? Maybe you're having a hair setback that's related to something else going on in your life.

My hair grows slowly too, so I don't expect miracles. But maybe some positive thoughts are all your hair needs to get in gear! From what I've read in your other posts, you already seem to have a good solid regimen (I can't wait to get there, myself).

Best wishes to you! It will come.

 

[Hareitiz]

I am not feeling good about the hair today yall. With every relaxer I have to get a trim. My hair never grows more than a 1/2 inch anyway then I end up trimming half of that every time!!

When I try to go without trimming, my hair has frizzy ends and I get breakage. I just prefer trimmed ends because my hair just looks and feels better that way.

At this rate, it will take forever to reach my 1st goal of even hair!!! I stopped using growth aids but I feel so tempted to whip something out to give me a boost.

I do see some progress but I feel so discouraged right now.

My BF has long hair that he wears in a ponytail. His hair is so nice and I have to admit, I am jealous of him. I should not compare his virgin type 2 hair to my relaxed type 4 hair, but it is not fun seeing your man's hair make more progress than your own. I trimmed about 3 inches of his hair at the end of May and it has already grown back! Pathetic I know - jealous of my man's hair.

Is this normal and I am just being impatient? Is there anyone that can go without trimming? If so, how do you do it?

Hi Honeydew,

It is normal to be discouraged because there are some days when I feel the same way, but like you mentioned you do see some progress. It won't take forever for you to reach your goal. Continue what you are doing and you will continue to see the progress.

 

[cocob]

Honey Gurl......
Try more conditioner washes. I get confused with all the products out there and I guess it depends on your hair type which I think I am one of the worst (4 something) looks strong as iron natural, but will break if the wrong perm is used, but I do really well with alot of over-the-counter products. I do well with Pantene Pro-V for women of color the new breakage defense line and I also use the Infusion leave-in.
What seems to make the biggest difference for me is my diet (lot of fruits, veges, and water). If I change that more than any products I put on the outside of my hair it doesn't shine much and the growth slows down. I think building healthy hair may come from what you put in your body as well as what you put on your hair.
I like braids but braids are a temporary fix. If you don't fix the source those problems come back once you take the braids out. The diet coupled with a good conditioning/moisturizing regime the less shedding I get, and the more growth I get

 

[angelita842002]

I agree with the other girls try dusting your hair and searching for split ends yourself. Also keep thouse ends moisturized moisturized moisuturized and protected. Im not relaxed but everytime i used to go to the salon they would always give me a trim(CUT) and my hair was the same length forever!!! So now i soak then with a leave in or moisturize and seal. You have beautiful hair and it looks really healthy and shiny. You are seeing some progress so dont stress there will be more

 

[KathyMay]

You are not alone in this matter. You see how long I have been on LHCF 3 years and I just got to shoulder length last year BUT guess what while getting to that length my hair got healthier in the progress. Now I rather have healthy hair than be worred with the length. It is frustrating waiting for results but I have learned over the years to be patient for length and take care of your health and hair.

 

[KathyMay]

You are not alone in this matter. You see how long I have been on LHCF 3 years and I just got to shoulder length last year BUT guess what while getting to that length my hair got healthier in the progress. Now I rather have healthy hair than be worred with the length. It is frustrating waiting for results but I have learned over the years to be patient for length and take care of your health and hair.

 

[frankie]

I am not feeling good about the hair today yall. With every relaxer I have to get a trim. My hair never grows more than a 1/2 inch anyway then I end up trimming half of that every time!!

When I try to go without trimming, my hair has frizzy ends and I get breakage. I just prefer trimmed ends because my hair just looks and feels better that way.

At this rate, it will take forever to reach my 1st goal of even hair!!! I stopped using growth aids but I feel so tempted to whip something out to give me a boost.

I do see some progress but I feel so discouraged right now.

My BF has long hair that he wears in a ponytail. His hair is so nice and I have to admit, I am jealous of him. I should not compare his virgin type 2 hair to my relaxed type 4 hair, but it is not fun seeing your man's hair make more progress than your own. I trimmed about 3 inches of his hair at the end of May and it has already grown back! Pathetic I know - jealous of my man's hair.

Is this normal and I am just being impatient? Is there anyone that can go without trimming? If so, how do you do it?

Maybe your hair grows unevenly like a lot of us have discovered and trying to even it up as you go is hindering your progress. I say moisturize your ends daily and hide them from plain view, then you won't want them to have the trimmed look because you won't be looking at them. If you wear your hair down, wear curly styles that camouflage your ends to avoid the trim urge.
Just dust or search out splits only and you'll get to keep more of your length.

 

[nicki6]

Maybe your hair grows unevenly like a lot of us have discovered and trying to even it up as you go is hindering your progress. I say moisturize your ends daily and hide them from plain view, then you won't want them to have the trimmed look because you won't be looking at them. If you wear your hair down, wear curly styles that camouflage your ends to avoid the trim urge.
Just dust or search out splits only and you'll get to keep more of your length.

I totally agree with the advise given above.\ My hair does this and I was constantly trimming and losing my progress. I put my hair up so that I wouldn't be tempted to cut it and that's how I finally had a breakthrough

 

[KiniKakes]

Honeydew, may i ask what made you stop using the growth aids? I remember at one point you had started the M.N. and were getting good results. If i were you, i would incorporate some growth aid into your regimen..... because as you said, if your hair grows .5" per month, and you feel you MUST trim .5" per month..... the reality is that you wont ever really retain your length.

I would also look into why your hair seems to break off if you dont trim it so regularly. Is there anything that can be done to prevent that? Can you possibly start trimming every other touch-up instead of every touch-up?

Dont worry, girl, we'll figure this out! You have absolutely beautiful hair, and i wanna see you retain the length that you want!!!

 

[gradygirl]

My hair grows unevenly to and like you I would trim every touchup because I thought that my hair to be even. I texlaxed last night and I wanted to cut it so bad but I did not. I am going to just look for splits from now on and maybe get a trim every six months or so.

 

[MzOptimistic]

Honeydew, when I saw you posted, I had to come in because you must really be going through in order to post for help...Do you do light protein treatments weekly and also you should consider doing deep conditioning 2x a week, it make your hair stronger...What about protective styles? Are you wearing those with a baggie? I know you don't like growth aids but you should consider taking some vitamins and I know how you feel about growth aids but hey you gotta do what you gotta do...within your limits...(that is) We'll figure this out

 

[HoneyDew]

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement ladies. I am trying to be optimistic, but it is so hard.

To answer:

I was using growth aids but stopped because it became more of a pain. MTG I don't like and the last time I used MN, I got a headache about an hour after applying it. I gave it up after that. Last night when I was feeling low about my hair I put some of the Derma Doctor MN cream on my scalp - no headache so far. Maybe It was not the MN that gave me the headache.

I think that I have to trim so much because I never wear protective styles these days. I have not in awhile. I was doing pretty good with it at one point. In September, I got my hair cut to somewhat even it out and since then I have been wearing it down everyday. I am really afraid of the cold weather coming. erplexed

Although I don't blowdry, I do comb my hair and I flatiron it. That may have something to do with it too.

I do deep condition 1-2 times a week. But I never deep condition with a protein conditioner - I just use Aphogee Keratin 2 min weekly but never under the dryer. Maybe I should try under the dryer.

I have not done Henna in about a month - I was thinking of doing that again this weekend.

I need to put the comb down, but I can't seem to style my hair to look good w/o combing.

i don't know.

We are having a presentation today at work. Maybe I should just go put on some lipgloss and get it together.

Maybe my feelings are just PMS. It is around "that time".

 

[KiniKakes]

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement ladies. I am trying to be optimistic, but it is so hard.

To answer:

I was using growth aids but stopped because it became more of a pain. MTG I don't like and the last time I used MN, I got a headache about an hour after applying it. I gave it up after that. Last night when I was feeling low about my hair I put some of the Derma Doctor MN cream on my scalp - no headache so far. Maybe It was not the MN that gave me the headache.

I think that I have to trim so much because I never wear protective styles these days. I have not in awhile. I was doing pretty good with it at one point. In September, I got my hair cut to somewhat even it out and since then I have been wearing it down everyday. I am really afraid of the cold weather coming. erplexed

Although I don't blowdry, I do comb my hair and I flatiron it. That may have something to do with it too.

I do deep condition 1-2 times a week. But I never deep condition with a protein conditioner - I just use Aphogee Keratin 2 min weekly but never under the dryer. Maybe I should try under the dryer.

I have not done Henna in about a month - I was thinking of doing that again this weekend.

I need to put the comb down, but I can't seem to style my hair to look good w/o combing.

i don't know.

We are having a presentation today at work. Maybe I should just go put on some lipgloss and get it together.

Maybe my feelings are just PMS. It is around "that time".

I think you should join a Protective Styles and a No Combing Challenge. Or.... pick one or the other. You will surely retain your length that way, and wont have to trim! I do both, and rarely have to trim. Do it, do it, do it girl!!!!!

 

[Synthia]

As far as your breakage -- do you think your hair is crying out for more natural products?

My hair is never dry now that I switched to more natural stuff (and it's much stronger). My products still have a couple of chemicals but not many and definitely no cones, stearkonium chloride (drying), mineral oil, petroleum, etc.

I know my hair wouldn't like the NTM and Motions shown in your Fotki.

(And speaking of Fotki-- um, your man (Doug is it?) is freakin' hot! He looks very rugged. Like a man's man. )

 

[Miss*Tress]

No more flat iron! The best thing you can do for your hair is stop the heat - instead try roller sets. Good luck, HoneyDew, and don't be discouraged.

 

[Cichelle]

HoneyDew, I'm sorry to hear about your frustration. We all go through it sometimes and it's not a nice feeling. Some great suggestions have been given here, particularly about dusting.

I don't trim my hair at all since my b/c 2005. I think I can get away with this because I don't use heat...ever...and I wear protective styles every day. I only use a comb once a week now to go through my hair more carefully. But during my daily cowashes, I fingercomb to detangle. When my hair isn't wet with conditioner, I use no styling tools at all, except the ones I need to keep my hair up and tucked away. I think protective styling can make a big difference. Also, is there any way at all you can stop flat ironing or do it less often?

I think all you need to do is figure out a few ways to maybe change your hair care routine. It doesn't have to be drastic all at once. Just maybe change a thing or two and see if you have less need to trim.

Good luck!

 

[HoneyDew]

I think you guys are right. I need to make some changes. In the past when I have tried, I never have to time to deal with it.

I want to much to master rollersets!! I finally bought those HARD mesh rollers and they are still in the package. I dropped one of my classes because I am too stressed out. I find that I have more time on the weekends to think about myself. Sunday I am going to try rollersetting AGAIN. I fear that I may mess that up again, though.

I do use natural products on my hair - oils and moisturizers. My moisturizing deep conditioner Motions cannot be matched though. I have yet to find anything like it.

My hair is never dry so I know that the need for trims are a result of me manipulating my hair for styling and with heat.

 

[*Frisky*]

HoneyDew, I'm sorry to hear about your frustration. We all go through it sometimes and it's not a nice feeling. Some great suggestions have been given here, particularly about dusting.

I don't trim my hair at all since my b/c 2005. I think I can get away with this because I don't use heat...ever...and I wear protective styles every day. I only use a comb once a week now to go through my hair more carefully. But during my daily cowashes, I fingercomb to detangle. When my hair isn't wet with conditioner, I use no styling tools at all, except the ones I need to keep my hair up and tucked away. I think protective styling can make a big difference. Also, is there any way at all you can stop flat ironing or do it less often?

I think all you need to do is figure out a few ways to maybe change your hair care routine. It doesn't have to be drastic all at once. Just maybe change a thing or two and see if you have less need to trim.

Good luck!

ITA: Cheer up lady bug....I know the feeling. I have been wearing the same style for the last 30 days and it got old real quick but I plan on keeping it up to do whatever I need to do not to use heat. Just gradually cut down the heat over the next few months and see what progress you can acheive.

 

[GodsPromises]

Hey HD,

I know how you feel. It took me 2 years just to start to see progress and my hair grows slow as well. My hair right now is the longest I have had it in my adult life. The things that has helped me was: no blow drying and flat ironing and airdrying my hair with a rollerset. In the morning I finger comb my set and leave it alone. The last time I had a touch up I didn't even need a trim, she said that I could wait until the next time and that was after not having a t/u since May. That felt great, not to have the scrissors to my hair. I know me I can't wear protective styles all the time so I switch up from phonytails and buns to curly rollersets. I set my hair on smaller rollers and I have actually learned how to set my hair with magnatic rollers to make sprial curls. When done right they really look cute. Oh one more thing I let water touch my hair at least twice a week. One CO wash and the other wash and dc. My hair loves it and now I love my hair.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I would put the flat iron aside for awhile and rollerset, using pincurls to maintain it during the wk. Plus the more you practice rollersetting the better it gets, as long as you have a great setting lotion and dry completely your curls should be fine.
You may also just need more of a moisturizing poo or cond. sometimes frizzy ends don't always mean they need to be cut. I know Nexxus Therappe cleared up my frizzy ends last sept. and I haven't seen them since, with all the hair I had cut off I didn't understand why my ends were still frizzy/dry but I learned that Pantene was not for me.

I also agree w/just dusting that way you can retain more of ya length, even though it may not be as blunt as you want it, overtime you should be able to have that.

 

[Shea]

please dont feel discouraged hang in their I remind myself everyday this is a race for endurance! I get frizzy ends too but I think a rollerset and serum on the ends will help. Also I plan to search and destroy those split ends no needt to cut everything that doesnt need to be cut. I will dust every 6-7 weeks or so. Have faith and be patient it will come hang in there I feel you 100%

 

[MzOptimistic]

Thanks for all the advice and encouragement ladies. I am trying to be optimistic, but it is so hard.

To answer:

I was using growth aids but stopped because it became more of a pain. MTG I don't like and the last time I used MN, I got a headache about an hour after applying it. I gave it up after that. Last night when I was feeling low about my hair I put some of the Derma Doctor MN cream on my scalp - no headache so far. Maybe It was not the MN that gave me the headache.

I think that I have to trim so much because I never wear protective styles these days. I have not in awhile. I was doing pretty good with it at one point. In September, I got my hair cut to somewhat even it out and since then I have been wearing it down everyday. I am really afraid of the cold weather coming. erplexed

Although I don't blowdry, I do comb my hair and I flatiron it. That may have something to do with it too.

I do deep condition 1-2 times a week. But I never deep condition with a protein conditioner - I just use Aphogee Keratin 2 min weekly but never under the dryer. Maybe I should try under the dryer.

I have not done Henna in about a month - I was thinking of doing that again this weekend.

I need to put the comb down, but I can't seem to style my hair to look good w/o combing.

i don't know.

We are having a presentation today at work. Maybe I should just go put on some lipgloss and get it together.

Maybe my feelings are just PMS. It is around "that time".

Well now we're getting somewhere...first please lay off the flatiron, when you use the aphogee 2 minute reconstructor, sit under the dryer for 30 minutes with it, and wear some protective styles..missy poo...oh and one more thing...it's okay that your hair is growing uneven, once you reach your goal, you can trim it even then, unless you have SE, you will need to find em and kill em...but no more scissors, you're losing unnessary length JMO

 

[Radianthealth]

I hope you feel better, it will happen

 

[shunta]

Hey, Honeydew, dont worry honey because once you just forget about length and just focus on keeping it healthy, its gonna take off. Its because we watching it so closely and thats why it seems like its not going anywhere. But just give it time, honey.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Hey HoneyD,
I know this is not what you probably wanna hear but stop trimming so much (unless you have splits). I personally would hold off on trying to have blunt hair and just focus on growing and retaining.