hubbies and hair

[kasey]

I just read hairfanatic's post about her husband getting "angry" when she cut her hair.

A friend at the gym told me that her husband got mad at her after she chopped off her waistlength dreads. She did it while she was out of town this summer. Now she is trying to grow her hair back fast.

It surprises me how much men care about their girl's hair. But I guess that hair is part of the total package that is YOU.

Are there other stories of husbands, fiancee's or boyfriends and their reactions to YOUR hair choices? Do you consult with your guy before making a change with your hair? Does he consult with you about his hair? <font color="purple"> </font color> <font color="purple"> </font color>

 

[Elyse]

<font color="green">
Kasey,

This is a very interesting topic. I recently grew my relaxer out and cut my hair off. My hair was brastrap length at the time. My husband was VERY supportive!!! I waited until I had chin length curls before doing the Big Chop and he wanted me to cut it even shorter, like a TWA. To him, as long as my hair was well groomed, he didn't care how long or short it was.

The bottom line is that he loves me and supports what is important to me. I have had boyfriends and even a fiance in the past that were OBSESSED with me having long hair and always wearing it out. Please notice that I refer to them in the past tense. To me this was a sign of insecurity on their part. When a man truly loves you as a woman and finds you beautiful, he should be open to changes (within reason) to your style and appearance from time to time, especially when it comes to hair. It does grow back.</font color>

 

[Elyse]

<font color="green">

I realize that I didn't answer the second part of your question. I would consult with my husband before making and major decision or change. He does the same with me. We have a very good, healthy relationship and we can talk openly about anything. </font color>

 

[MSCHICHI]

What has astonished me about my husband is that he LOVES my natural hair. I was more paranoid about cutting it all off and going natural than he was. The less I do with it, the more he likes it. I went through a stage the first year when I was dying it all sorts of colors, reddish, and finally blonde, before stopping it and dyeing it back. He liked the colors, but was more concerned with my hair health. He told me I should just leave my poor hair alone. I sometimes pick and pull at my natural hair (bad habit), and he tried to get me to stop. He doesn't care at all for my wigs and weaves and such, but that has been a hurdle, not my natural hair. He doesn't even care whether or not I press it or not, but when I do he likes running his fingers through my hair.

The funny thing is when we first met, he had a Duke, and I had a long straight weave. Now he has dreadlocs, and my hair is natural!

I am always asking my husbands opinions about my hair, but I have done just about everything imaginable to it already, so it would be something pretty extreme for me to have to consult with him about. I ask him more because I respect his opinion, and would like to know what he prefers. I did ask him what he would think, if I shaved my head bald. He said, "Uh, babe, I would tell you to put on a wig." /images/graemlins/blush.gif

OK, I want to grow my hair as long as possible anyway, so that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[Honey Vibe]

I started dating my ex briefly some time back. The last time he saw me, I had shimmering braids down my back. When he got a look at me now -- with a TWA -- he was really shocked, but still ape over me.

My mother, actually, has been the most unsupportive of my decision to stop relaxing my hair. She's embarrassed because she thinks going out in public with me reflects on her, and a lack of "well-grooming" her daughter on her part. Plus, she's seen me in hairstyles that were much more flattering to my ethos.

I cut off the relaxed hair for me, and now I have high esteem in my hair. Natural hair is nothing like I imagined (or was told) it would be -- it's not "wild", it's not "unmanageable", and it certainly doesn't look bad. I have gorgeous coiffed pen-springs growing out of my head, and I want to keep it that way. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[nita4]

My husband doesn't want me to cut my hair short, but if I had to I'm sure he wouldn't mind as long as it was neat and well groomed - which it would be. I love short hair, but I've always felt that something was missing when I cut my own too short. I would never consider making a drastic change to my hair without consulting him first and I sure he would do the same with me. It's just that I cut his hair and I cut it the way I like it. So... /images/graemlins/smirk.gif If he tells me to leave a little on top - oh well... /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[LondonDiva]

I'm 23 and have been with my man (22) for 7 years. I love him dearly as he loves me but in NO WAY as I'm living and breathing do I consult or tell him about my hair changes.

I've had so many different styles since I've been with him. No-lye relaxed, braids, texturised, weaved, natural, loced, wrapped, lye relaxed. So I've been through many styles in many years with him. Some he's liked and some he hasn't. Oh well too bad. My hair, my head, my body.

He can have his opinion, I'm not denying him that, but his dislike (like now for my headwraps and scarves) do not influence me one bit. I tell him I can wear my hair out in this blistering cold and have my hair hair look like hers but I'd rather protect and grow and care for what I have already.

He knows his little gripes and moans don't phase me so he doesn't bother anymore. He was always going on about wanting to see my hair when I had it wrapped after chopping off my locs. He used to whine like a little kid.

Even his mother used to comment "oh you're still wearing that thing on your head?" Yeah well ladies, who's hair do you think is thrivng now? I remember when i visited her in hospital she kept looking at my hair wanting to say something as she hadn't seen it in ages but just couldn't bring herself to say anything.

The more he moans the more I wear it just to P him off. It's not like I don't look presentable r made up or anything but the whole hair thing used to get on my nerves. I just give him the middle finger and be on my merry way.

 

[TsAngel]

My hubby and I have known each other since we were nine. We're now 31. He's seen my natural days hair to my waist, relaxed healthy and long, relaxed and fried, relaxed and died, braids, shaved nape, you name it he's seen it. And of course, his favorite is long and healthy (relaxed or natural). So, he keeps me motivated to stay on track with my regimen.
It's almost as if we're on this mission together....with exception of the scarf and the bonnet. He wants to see my hair when we go to sleep; so, when he doses off, I get up and tie my hair up or grab my bonnet. /images/graemlins/grin.gif /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

TsAngel

 

[Guest]

Tsangel you are so funny!! My husband is the same way. One time I purchased a purple bonnet with white trim to wear to bed and he just got so tickled! He thought I looked hilarious. /images/graemlins/laugh.gif He begged me to please go back to the black bonnet...anything but that purple one.

I try to let him know what I'm doing with my hair so he will not be surprised. He's seen me in just about everything from braids to a chestnut blond haircolor.

 

[henrilou]

I am so cautious with my boyfriend. When we first started going out I never let him see me with my hair wrapped. I was afraid he would make too big a deal of it. But as the months went on I had to let him know that my hair needed to be wrapped everynight in order to avoid breakage. I explained that this was important to me and that I didn't want him making fun of me. Guess what ? He doesn't even blink or say anything. I just told him that I would be getting a weave for winter. He was like, "whatever." I am so happy, because I really didn't need him giving me a problem.

 

[Mahalialee4]

When I first met my hubby my hair was past the shoulders and healthy. This was before all the health trauma. Anyway, he loved it, but since I was a "whim cutter", just cut it on the spur of the moment type of gal, he saw me go to about 1" all over, more than once. He has survived the reds, blue black, blond streaks and the gray streaks too.He has never interfered though. But now that he sees it healthy and growing out long I can tell he is pleased as punch. He does not mind natural hair as long as it is looks cared for, and he is not really into superstraight relaxed. His own hair is curly too so I guess we match. He understands why I am obsessive compulsive about keeping my hair wrapped, oiled and moisturized, but when I wear it out all full and wavy....ooh la la...I detect a twinkle of hope..like NO MORE ONE INCH CUTS! Bonjour.

 

[msladymam]

When we first met, I had hair down to my shoulders, that was six years ago, now I have a small afro. My husband has seen the changes, and has been supportive. He really likes my natural hair. After the big chop, he was shocked, shoot so was I, but he's gotten used to it, and loves to run his fingers throught it /images/graemlins/grin.gif!

 

[zanna]

<font color="blue"> </font color> when I first met my husband, I had my hair on my shoulders, and I had just cut it, so he kind of witnessed the growth along the years (3 years/12 now). He likes it, but teases me about it nicely /images/graemlins/grin.gif! I told him that I want tailbone lenght, he said " now that's too much /images/graemlins/grin.gif!" He likes combing my hair sometimes! /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[zanna]

I mean 3 years and 1/2 /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[hairfanatic]

Hi Kasey,

My husband has always been a hairfanatic /images/graemlins/grin.gif. My hair was very long when we got married...it's been 20 years now. So when he sees me cutting and cutting, it gets him upset. It's a shame that when I cut my hair now, I have to keep it pinned up until it grows because it hurts him more than it hurts me /images/graemlins/tongue.gif. He told me he should write a book about all of my hair dramas /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Integrity]

my fiancee has warned me he DOES not like short hair on me and would be mad if i cut my hair real short /images/graemlins/grin.gif

i dont mind cos i love long hair too. short hair does not suit me AT ALL. tried it and have the t shirt