How would you respond?

I

inthepink

New Member
(I also asked this in the relationship forum but I wanted to get some perspectives from Christians also.)

I asked:

So tell me, how would you describe your relationship with God? Do you attend church?


He responded:

As far as church, I'm second degree confirmed catholic. I went to parochial schools all the way til high school. I have text back ground on theology and have extensive training and study in Christian values.


That does not answer my question in any way, shape, or form. I am tempted to not even reply back. I say in my profile that being a Christian is important to me and then I talked about it and asked him about it and get a trite response like this. Then he goes on and write about other random things. I really do think people just expect that you're going to let it go. I do not want to be unequally yoked.
 
ETA: Ok, I thought you wanted us to respond.

You are right. He did not answer really answer the question at all or maybe he could not. Pray about it and let God guide you in your decision on whether to involve yourself with him or not.
 
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He didn't answer the question and as far as I'm concerned it's not the type of response that a mature Christian would give. He is speaking of Christianity in regards to scholarly learning which is not why we study God's word. I'm assuming that church is something that he "does" just like Christianity is something that he "does" but the relational aspect is lacking.
 
He did answer your question. He's told you everything you need to know about his relationship with God. It's nominal, no depth or hid under a bushel. If yours is more than that (which it is) then you will be unequally yoked.
 
hairlove said:
That's what I was thinking. I don't think this would be the response from a mature Christian.
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Honey a babe in Christ will make you want to shout when they start describing who God is to them. If he is saved he's hiding his light which is a BIG warning sign. A man who hids his walk will betray God eventually. Remember Peter denied Jesus.
 
Ms.Honey said:
Honey a babe in Christ will make you want to shout when they start describing who God is to them. If he is saved he's hiding his light which is a BIG warning sign. A man who hids his walk will betray God eventually. Remember Peter denied Jesus.
Click to expand...

That's right! I long to have a mate who I can talk about God with and he wrapped that up pretty quickly!

What's funny is that he keeps saying about this stuff about not playing games. Well, to me, if I were to continue talking to him knowing he's not the Christian man I am looking for and he talking to me when he knows he's not what I'm looking for, then that's a game to me.

Should I respond and say something or should I just not respond? I'm thinking of just not responding at all. Seems like men on these sites tend to like arguing when you tell them the truth (no matter how politely) and I have no desire for that.
 
hairlove said:
(I also asked this in the relationship forum but I wanted to get some perspectives from Christians also.)

I asked:

So tell me, how would you describe your relationship with God? Do you attend church?


He responded:

As far as church, I'm second degree confirmed catholic. I went to parochial schools all the way til high school. I have text back ground on theology and have extensive training and study in Christian values.


That does not answer my question in any way, shape, or form. I am tempted to not even reply back. I say in my profile that being a Christian is important to me and then I talked about it and asked him about it and get a trite response like this. Then he goes on and write about other random things. I really do think people just expect that you're going to let it go. I do not want to be unequally yoked.
Click to expand...

I agree he did not answer your question about his relationship with God.

An atheist can do all of those things that he described.
 
hairlove said:
That's right! I long to have a mate who I can talk about God with and he wrapped that up pretty quickly!

What's funny is that he keeps saying about this stuff about not playing games. Well, to me, if I were to continue talking to him knowing he's not the Christian man I am looking for and he talking to me when he knows he's not what I'm looking for, then that's a game to me.

Should I respond and say something or should I just not respond? I'm thinking of just not responding at all. Seems like men on these sites tend to like arguing when you tell them the truth (no matter how politely) and I have no desire for that.
Click to expand...

I would just not respond or tell him we were not compatible and leave it at that.
 
hairlove said:
(I also asked this in the relationship forum but I wanted to get some perspectives from Christians also.)

I asked:

So tell me, how would you describe your relationship with God? Do you attend church?


He responded:

As far as church, I'm second degree confirmed catholic. I went to parochial schools all the way til high school. I have text back ground on theology and have extensive training and study in Christian values.


That does not answer my question in any way, shape, or form. I am tempted to not even reply back. I say in my profile that being a Christian is important to me and then I talked about it and asked him about it and get a trite response like this. Then he goes on and write about other random things. I really do think people just expect that you're going to let it go. I do not want to be unequally yoked.
Click to expand...

I think he is tell you about his relationship to G-d, that he is devout or observant, second generation catholic. Catholics don't operate on emotionalism. Faith begins in the creche with parental guidance and continues throughout life where you're handed the reigns at an appropriate age. There is no life-changing altar-call emotional moment in catholicism except baptism, confirmation (reaffirming belief ...similar to becoming bar mitzvah). Faith begins at birth. The other sacraments are observed by the faithful believers throughout life until their last day. The difference is in explanation of whatever it is to be christian...looks different...inside, I think it's the same :wink2:

Other than that, he might feel attacked as they often do because he realizes that other religions have diff. views, often anti-his side. You two are of diff. religions. Both christian, tho. He knows you're not coming from his ancient/traditional perspective but progressive. You have a valid experience and so does he. You two are speaking different languages about the same event...in entirely diff. households lol.

Edit: Now that I read the other posts (I'm bad about that), you two might be too diff. from each other. It's not that he's not a christian but you are looking for a christian who is like YOU. He might desire the same. I don't think you're compatible and he won't just up and leave his religion and I don't think you will either (it can happen, but not likely). Just be careful.
 
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hairlove said:
(I also asked this in the relationship forum but I wanted to get some perspectives from Christians also.)

I asked:

So tell me, how would you describe your relationship with God? Do you attend church?


He responded:

As far as church, I'm second degree confirmed catholic. I went to parochial schools all the way til high school. I have text back ground on theology and have extensive training and study in Christian values.


That does not answer my question in any way, shape, or form. I am tempted to not even reply back. I say in my profile that being a Christian is important to me and then I talked about it and asked him about it and get a trite response like this. Then he goes on and write about other random things. I really do think people just expect that you're going to let it go. I do not want to be unequally yoked.
Click to expand...

I so feel you on this. I state clearly how I feel and that it is extremely important that anyone I date is as committed as I am. But do I get responses from like minded ...most of the times NO.

I have taken to looking at their profiles and if they are too "broad" in their religious preferences (i.e. wiccan (?), not affiliated with any religion, agnostic) I know they could not possibly be the one for me. The one for me has to be as adamant that his s/o is committed to walking with God. (did that make sense?...lol)
 
Ms.Honey said:
Honey a babe in Christ will make you want to shout when they start describing who God is to them. If he is saved he's hiding his light which is a BIG warning sign. A man who hids his walk will betray God eventually. Remember Peter denied Jesus.
Click to expand...

If he'll betray God, he'll betray you. And boy, did I learn that the hard way...:wallbash:
 
OMHO...And I do mean humble...

Some say he's a not a mature Christian. Well, he more reminds me of a Pharisee, not a Christ follower at all. Study law and whose theology is accurate. Not humble, no quality time with God in prayer, doesnt care to walk as Jesus commands us too....pompous, arrogant probably.

Just my observation.
 
If you had a problem with his response it just shows that you too probably aren't compatible on a spiritual level. I'm not saying anything about where he is at spiritually, but I know for me personally that response would be a no go.

I would have even accepted the standard COGIC response followed by a more in depth response about his work in the church or what he does outside of church that is Christian like...feeding the homeless, caring for the needy etc..

But, the above is what he considers to be his relationship with God and it is more of an understanding of his word, church rituals, and scholarly expertise. That's probably A+ material where he is from. But, around these parts that ain't gonna cut it buddy.
 

How would I respond to his answer to your questions? I wouldn't. Or I would repeat my question and be more specific or give examples of what you are looking for.

I would not know how to answer your question either had it been asked of me. The response I would have given you to "describe my relationship w/ God" would be a one word answer like "Private" or "Good". My answer to church attendance would be "Yes".



Church attendance is not important to me because there are a lot of phonies who do things for show & lack substance & there are ppl who have a better walk & a better relationship with God who do not attend church.



In my opinion, curch attendance is not a requirement or necessary regardless of what Paul says particularly since he was not speaking of church attendance or collective corporate worship, but rather belivers fellowshipping.


Finally, unless you are Catholic as well, you need not be communicating with him anyway. Protestants and Catholics do not share the same ideology.



I will say here what I say in a lot of threads like this: you already know your answer & you do not need anyone else's input on a decision that you are quite capable of making on your own. Our input or 2c means zilch when you are the one who has to deal with the consequences of your choices. You already feel there is an unequal yoke, so get out now while the getting is good.


 
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1star said:

How would I respond to his answer to your questions? I wouldn't. Or I would repeat my question and be more specific or give examples of what you are looking for.

I would not know how to answer your question either had it been asked of me. The response I would have given you to "describe my relationship w/ God" would be a one word answer like "Private" or "Good". My answer to church attendance would be "Yes".



Church attendance is not important to me because there are a lot of phonies who do things for show & lack substance & there are ppl who have a better walk & a better relationship with God who do not attend church.



In my opinion, curch attendance is not a requirement or necessary regardless of what Paul says particularly since he was not speaking of church attendance or collective corporate worship, but rather belivers fellowshipping.


Finally, unless you are Catholic as well, you need not be communicating with him anyway. Protestants and Catholics do not share the same ideology.



I will say here what I say in a lot of threads like this: you already know your answer & you do not need anyone else's input on a decision that you are quite capable of making on your own. Our input or 2c means zilch when you are the one who has to deal with the consequences of your choices. You already feel there is an unequal yoke, so get out now while the getting is good.


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Yes, I know Catholics do not have the same ideology.

Maybe I didn't ask the "right" questions the "right" way but I think it was at least a start to get the conversation going. Specifically with church attendance - I know what you said to be true but like I said, I just wanted to get a conversation started

Gosh, I guess your response sounded a little harsh to me. :perplexed I kind of like hearing others opinions on matters.
 
I don't know right or wrong as it relates to your op. I just know that to me your question was vague just as others said to you in your duplicate thread in the relationship forum.

I am direct & to the point. I do not sugar coat particularly with something spiritually important like relationships which can pull a believer off course. To put it all bible-like, I cry loud and spare not which can be perceived as harsh. Apparently jaiku said essentially the same thing in the other thread that I said in this one.

You also expressed a concern about yokes. Evidently him being Catholic is not a deal breaker to you as long as you approve of his Christian walk and his relationship with his Lord and as long as he attends regular worship services. To me, in my opinion, that sounds like compromise. If you and he are on different pages as to what you belive and how you believe it, it is not a good idea to continue a discussion or dialogue with him.


If you suspect or know that you two are not on equal footing in the beginning, you should walk away. If you need more info from him, you also got good suggestions in the other thread regarding asking him more specific or open ended questions or for him to elaborate on and clarify his responses for your understanding.


 
1star said:
How would I respond to his answer to your questions? I wouldn't. Or I would repeat my question and be more specific or give examples of what you are looking for.

I would not know how to answer your question either had it been asked of me. The response I would have given you to "describe my relationship w/ God" would be a one word answer like "Private" or "Good". My answer to church attendance would be "Yes".



Church attendance is not important to me because there are a lot of phonies who do things for show & lack substance & there are ppl who have a better walk & a better relationship with God who do not attend church.



In my opinion, curch attendance is not a requirement or necessary regardless of what Paul says particularly since he was not speaking of church attendance or collective corporate worship, but rather belivers fellowshipping.


Finally, unless you are Catholic as well, you need not be communicating with him anyway. Protestants and Catholics do not share the same ideology.



I will say here what I say in a lot of threads like this: you already know your answer & you do not need anyone else's input on a decision that you are quite capable of making on your own. Our input or 2c means zilch when you are the one who has to deal with the consequences of your choices. You already feel there is an unequal yoke, so get out now while the getting is good.
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You are mistaken. Church attendance is vitaly important to the spiritual health of every able bodied Christian. Those who are NOT able bodied to attend the physical church need the ministry to come to them.

In Revelations Jesus speaks to the churches. Paul wrote letters to the church at so and so not to indivdual saints but to the church. Jesus gave some the gift of ministry for the edifying of the saints. Well, how are they to be edified by these perfecting gifts if they are not there? Folks don't go to church because they have an issue with Jesus not the pulpit because it was Jesus who set that authority over us.
 
Chiming in on this church attendance piece:

If we hang with the premise that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING the Lord Jesus Christ has asked His followers to do (except die on the cross) HE ALSO did when He was in His earthsuit, then I point us to St. Luke 4:16:

"He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. (NIV)

And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read. (Amplified)

He came to Nazareth where he had been reared. As he always did on the Sabbath, he went to the meeting place. When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. (The Message)

To the OP: was this exchange that took place done on a DATING website or an email with someone you were acquainted with?
 
1star said:


You also expressed a concern about yokes. Evidently him being Catholic is not a deal breaker to you as long as you approve of his Christian walk and his relationship with his Lord and as long as he attends regular worship services. To me, in my opinion, that sounds like compromise. If you and he are on different pages as to what you belive and how you believe it, it is not a good idea to continue a discussion or dialogue with him.


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I am not sure how you got that out of my post but you definitely misunderstood. :ohwell:
 
FoxyScholar said:
Chiming in on this church attendance piece:

If we hang with the premise that ANYTHING and EVERYTHING the Lord Jesus Christ has asked His followers to do (except die on the cross) HE ALSO did when He was in His earthsuit, then I point us to St. Luke 4:16:

"He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. (NIV)

And he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up: and, as his custom was, he went into the synagogue on the sabbath day, and stood up for to read. (Amplified)

He came to Nazareth where he had been reared. As he always did on the Sabbath, he went to the meeting place. When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. (The Message)

To the OP: was this exchange that took place done on a DATING website or an email with someone you were acquainted with?
Click to expand...

This was just an email exchange.
 
To comment on the church attendance thing - as I said, this was just the 2nd conversation with this person, I was just starting "somewhere" with that question. In no way was it the end all be all of the issue. I was just trying to start a conversation about God. To me, if a relationship is Christ-centered, then you should be talking about God and I was just opening it up...also, I wanted to know sooner rather than later if this person does want a Christ-centered relationship.

I do believe we are called to attend worship services - that is an important part of being a Christian. However, I also know that it is not the ONLY thing. It is just a part of the whole. When I was younger, I went to church once a week with my mother and I can tell you, I was not a Christian.

I feel like sometimes on these forums, people just assume that you are ignorant b/c you didn't write a book to explain every single thing in your question. Everything does not need to turn into a debate. :nono:
 
hairlove said:
I am not sure how you got that out of my post but you definitely misunderstood. :ohwell:
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b/c ur op was vague and it read as if ur concern was him describing his relationship in temporal terms as opposed to spiritual terms. I will be cautious from now on that if I choose to respond to one of your comments, to ask for clarification first so that there will be no misunderstanding on my part.

To that end, what did your op mean? Would you be so kind as to explain it to me so that I understand and comprehend your op. Thanks.


 
1star said:
b/c ur op was vague and it read as if ur concern was him describing his relationship in temporal terms as opposed to spiritual terms. I will be cautious from now on that if I choose to respond to one of your comments, to ask for clarification first so that there will be no misunderstanding on my part.

To that end, what did your op mean? Would you be so kind as to explain it to me so that I understand and comprehend your op. Thanks.


Click to expand...

What does OP mean? I always thought it mean original poster...but I am guessing it must mean something else??
 
1star said:
actually mshoney I'm not mistaken or incorrect on church attendance. That was Paul's stance/opinion/belief/teaching. Not a direct commandment from god.



As for the other post Jesus was a teacher not a congregant as demonstrated by the scriptures quoted and was there to teach not worship. Even with the various passages I've heard quoted or taught on over the years, I have seen nothing in the bible that explicitly instructs believers to attend collective, corporate worship services specifically every sunday. Paul's letters were addressed to specific churches not individual believers or the corporate body of christ.


This topic falls under debatable matters.
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I've noticed that you've discounted Paul's teachings as his personal opinion and that is heresy. Paul said ONCE pertaining to marriage that it was not a commandment of God but his opinion of what he has observe and discerned and ALSO that he believes that he has the mind of God. That does not mean that EVERYTHING else is up for personal choice just whether or not for some to marry.

Jesus Himself made Paul an apostle and an authority over us. To question his authority and the soundness of his epistles is rebellion and there is a consequence for that. Remember Moses and Miriam. The Lord set over us who HE deemed fit and who are we to question who He set as authority over us.

Let he who thinks he stand be careful lest he falls and not think more highly of himself as he ought to.
 
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