How would you ladies feel?

snugglez41685

snugglez41685

Well-Known Member
Ok this is not really a relationship issue but I didn't know where to post this. I just wanted to know your honest opinion. I have been going through some hard times. Well my ex which is my bestfriend wants to buy me some things for the baby( I am pregnant, not his baby). Now I feel a bit funny about this. If anyone has read my threads then you might have more insight into my recent situation. He's not asking for anything in return, he just wants to help me out. I am just not use to offers like this. I am usually the on offering help. He is in the coastguard and is coming from Alaska to NY to visit before he gets transferred to North Carolina. He will be here the first of June. he also says he wants to help me out with anything else I need. I just feel awkward. So what would you do?
 
Are you involved with the child's father? If he's a friend I say as long as your SO isn't threatened by it accept the help. Babies are expensive, prepare for sticker shock:nono: Trust me, you will need all the help you can get, especially as a single mommy:bighug:
 
Personally, I wouldn't slight my child KNOWING that I was having some difficulties, from getting anything that he/she needed. Seeing as yall aren't even in the same state, I can't see how any strings could be attached.
 
Your ex is not just your friend, he is your best friend. I'd say let him help if the baby's father is not in the picture to have a say so.
 
Take the help. I wouldn't feel funny. You aren't with the father of the baby. If you do still communicate with him, he doesn't have to know where the items come from.
 
For the ladies who don't know, snugglez's baby's father is an abusive POS (I have read her other threads about him). She is in DIRE straits. So her friend is stepping in and helping her out when she really needs it.

Snugglez, you should gratefully receive what your friend gets for your baby and not worry about if it's right or wrong. In healthy friendships people do for one another and help out as needed. Your friend is just being a decent person.
 
Thanks so much for the responses. I will accept the gifts. Currently I am still looking for work and need all the help I can get. He is a real sweetheart so I greatly appreciate his offer. And as for baby daddy I think LadyPaniolo summed that up(thanks). So he is not there nor contributing.
 
Yes you should accept the gifts and any help/support your best friend can offer. You shouldn't have to go through this time alone and you will need all the help you can get. I'll be praying for you Snugglez.
 
LadyPaniolo said:
For the ladies who don't know, snugglez's baby's father is an abusive POS (I have read her other threads about him). She is in DIRE straits. So her friend is stepping in and helping her out when she really needs it.

Snugglez, you should gratefully receive what your friend gets for your baby and not worry about if it's right or wrong. In healthy friendships people do for one another and help out as needed. Your friend is just being a decent person.
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I was trying to be nice. But you summed it up pretty well. :giggle:
 
Yes, please accept his help and support. Consider it a blessing. God is sending in His angels.
 
If he involved w/ someone right now?
If not, I would gladly accept. Just watch your feelings and don't get too dependent on him unless both of you decide on something different. I'm kinda happy this guy is around for you :)
 
Be care because if your child's father gets wind of what is going down, I promise you it is going to get uglier that it has already been. I have been following your threads.
 
ThickHair said:
Be care because if your child's father gets wind of what is going down, I promise you it is going to get uglier that it has already been. I have been following your threads.
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she cant live her life worrying about that clown. Really she should have put an end to that abuse mess a long time ago..... but if she is always worried about that other guy finding out about things happening in her life she will forever be controlled by him. I say, accept the gifts and friendship this other guy is offering.
Stay AWAY from the first guy, dont let folks make you believe that he has to be apart of your childs life, because there are ways around that, trust. He's sick and you need to ensure the safety and health of your baby as well as yourself. God Bless, I hope you find yourself and get your life together.
 
NaturalDetroit said:
she cant live her life worrying about that clown. Really she should have put an end to that abuse mess a long time ago..... but if she is always worried about that other guy finding out about things happening in her life she will forever be controlled by him. I say, accept the gifts and friendship this other guy is offering.
Stay AWAY from the first guy, dont let folks make you believe that he has to be apart of your childs life, because there are ways around that, trust. He's sick and you need to ensure the safety and health of your baby as well as yourself. God Bless, I hope you find yourself and get your life together.
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ITA. :yep: Particularly with the bolded. I wasn't in an abusive relationship, but my ex was crazy to the point where he threatened to sabotage my relationship with my now DH. Eventually I called his bluff and told him to go ahead. I had to let him know that I was going to do me no matter how crazy he wanted to act. Eventually he got the point and I haven't heard from him since.

Since your baby's father isn't in the picture I agree that it's cool to take the gifts.
 
gabulldawg said:
ITA. :yep: Particularly with the bolded. I wasn't in an abusive relationship, but my ex was crazy to the point where he threatened to sabotage my relationship with my now DH. Eventually I called his bluff and told him to go ahead. I had to let him know that I was going to do me no matter how crazy he wanted to act. Eventually he got the point and I haven't heard from him since.

Since your baby's father isn't in the picture I agree that it's cool to take the gifts.
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DH! Girl you got married? CONGRATULATIONS!
 
Don't block your blessings, babies are very expensive to care for. Also if you haven't already get an order of protection...or a stun gun.
 
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