How Would You Feel

[chebaby]

if you overheard your husband on the phone talking to a male friend or male family member and they said something like....

"shes not pretty on the eyes but I love that woman. shes my best friend, beautiful on the inside, great mother, has my back yada yada yada"

I know you would be hurt but would it be a deal breaker? would you go on with life like you never heard it? does it not matter how he thinks you look cause he still loves you?

 

[FearlessNik]

if you overheard your husband on the phone talking to a male friend or male family member and they said something like....

"shes not pretty on the eyes but I love that woman. shes my best friend, beautiful on the inside, great mother, has my back yada yada yada"

I know you would be hurt but would it be a deal breaker? would you go on with life like you never heard it? does it not matter how he thinks you look cause he still loves you?

That's a definite No-No. This isn't 1940 when women only needed to rear children and take care of the home. No matter how much he loves her, he should never tell anyone that she's anything less than beautiful.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Wow. Ouch, but everything after those first three words was beautiful! I would either pretend I didn't hear the "not" or I'd bust him upside his head so we can both be ugly together.

 

[boudoir]

hmmmm, welp he was honest, he didn't marry her for her looks
I would be hurt if I was the wife
But maybe she also did not marry him for his looks and the way he talking he better look like Denzel, mo better blues Denzel, if he talkin like that hmmmph

I do believe many couples do not marry for looks but for other qualities and characteristics that they prefer in a life partner but there is a large number of ppl myself included who you do need to look a certain way for me to even consider a long-term rlp amongst other significant qualities/attributes/etc

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Was he being ironic? Like the wife is indisputably drop dead gorgeous so he was being funny?

 

[Abibi]

Even if it is true, he should have not said anything negative abut his wife to someone outside of their marriage. I wouldn't divorce the guy or anything, but I'd probably sulk for a few days. He actually sounds like a reasonable ( but insensitive) person. Looks are ephermeral and won't hold a marriage together.

I would prefer this to the type of husband who bad mouths his wife to anyone who cares to listen about any and everything. I had a co-worker/aquaintance like that and I was always side-eyeing him because he didn't realize how bad he made himself look.

 

[kimpaur]

It would hurt my feelings.
It's clear that he loves her though, so I'd be hurt, but then start looking for ways I can make myself look more sexy, i.e. wardrobe, makeup etc

A little bit of makeup can make anyone look decent imho

 

[Mai Tai]

I swear people talk too much without thinking first. To the outside world, he should be singing his wife's praises in the looks department regardless. I would be extremely hurt.

 

[Pat Mahurr]

I swear people talk too much without thinking first. To the outside world, he should be singing his wife's praises in the looks department regardless. I would be extremely hurt.

Yes! That's the thing. Marriage is supposed to be "you and me against the world."

 

[Transformer]

It would hurt my feelings.
It's clear that he loves her though, so I'd be hurt, but then start looking for ways I can make myself look more sexy, i.e. wardrobe, makeup etc

A little but of makeup can make anyone look decent imho

Yep. Good advice.

 

[chebaby]

Was he being ironic? Like the wife is indisputably drop dead gorgeous so he was being funny?

lol no he was being serious.

 

[beingofserenity]

It would make me want to die.

 

[ladysaraii]

I swear people talk too much without thinking first. To the outside world, he should be singing his wife's praises in the looks department regardless. I would be extremely hurt.

That's what would bother me the most.

Let's be real. Most women know what we look like. We know when we're not a supermodel. But for your husband, a man that I get intimate with, to share that opinion with someone else....unforgivable sounds dramatic, but that would stab me to the core

 

[LovelyRo]

I would be devastated!

How is he protecting and covering her if he's saying stuff like that to other people?

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Yea, that would totally tick me off and I might look at the hubz differently. Like why would you even say that about me to an outsider?

 

[awhyley]

We would have to talk, because I would fear that he would cheat on me. If he's bold enough to talk like that to outsiders, I wouldn't put anything past him.

 

[Lady_NakoPenda]

That's extremely hurtful. The other part of it is that his love for you is supposed to make you so beautiful and attractive to him. His love for you would never have him voice that because he wouldn't feel that way.

To stay with him Id have to swallow it and pretend like I didn't hear it but its better to be with a man that is crazy about you on all fronts.
Ultimately, if he isn't attracted to his wife then he's probably cheating on her and their sex life and chemistry is not what it should be. It's defintely a red flag of things to come so then I would have to leave.

 

[Jasmataz]

I'd be absolutely crushed and I'd let him know that I heard him. How would he feel if I were on the phone with another woman and he overheard me saying something like "He doesn't have the biggest penis, but he's got a heart of gold"

And I want to say that a divorce would be extreme, but I honestly don't know if I'd be able to look at him the same way after that.

Staying with him would mean one of three things would have to happen...either I'd let him suggest things I could do to be more attractive to him, or I'd learn to find peace and acceptance with what he said, or I'd become bitter and resent him for the rest of our lives.

 

[Lady_NakoPenda]

It would hurt my feelings.
It's clear that he loves her though, so I'd be hurt, but then start looking for ways I can make myself look more sexy, i.e. wardrobe, makeup etc

A little bit of makeup can make anyone look decent imho

Then along with that go in public together where he can see other men tripping over you or find a way to let him know that "ugly duckling" is in demand to get him to see you differently.

 

[LovelyRo]

I wonder if he has ever complimented her on her looks.

 

[LdyKamz]

I would be really upset. Even if a woman isn't a looker when a man falls in love with her I would think everything that he loves about her makes her beautiful to him.

I knew a guy that used to say things like this about his now wife. She wasn't what most would find attractive and I always sensed he made comments like that to keep other people from doing it first. One day his cousin was making fun of her (she wasn't there) and he was kinda joining in but kinda defending her. I pulled him aside and asked him about it. I was curious so I asked if he found her attractive at all. He went on for several minutes about how beautiful her skin was, how she had cute dimples and her nose crinkled when she laughed really hard...he was smitten. He only said those other things because other people didn't find her attractive. Maybe it's the same thing here?

P.S. they are married with 2 daughters now and he is such a doting husband he makes me sick. Lol

 

[GraceJones]

I have a friend who says things like this and I've been meaning to speak to him about it.

He's a nice guy but he can be insensitive at times. The thing about it is his SO is cute! A naturally gorgeous woman but he'll be like, "I could find girls prettier than my SO, but their minds are messed up!"

It's meant to be a compliment but I'm sure if she were to hear it she's be hurt.

 

[mrselle]

I was good friends with a guy who described his fiance as average looking. He didn't mean it to be insulting. His main point was that looks will only hold a man's attention for so long. That said, if my husband described me as anything less than beautiful I would be devastated.

 

[chebaby]

I would be really upset. Even if a woman isn't a looker when a man falls in love with her I would think everything that he loves about her makes her beautiful to him.

I knew a guy that used to say things like this about his now wife. She wasn't what most would find attractive and I always sensed he made comments like that to keep other people from doing it first. One day his cousin was making fun of her (she wasn't there) and he was kinda joining in but kinda defending her. I pulled him aside and asked him about it. I was curious so I asked if he found her attractive at all. He went on for several minutes about how beautiful her skin was, how she had cute dimples and her nose crinkled when she laughed really hard...he was smitten. He only said those other things because other people didn't find her attractive. Maybe it's the same thing here?

P.S. they are married with 2 daughters now and he is such a doting husband he makes me sick. Lol

that's so sad.

 

[ladysaraii]

I would be really upset. Even if a woman isn't a looker when a man falls in love with her I would think everything that he loves about her makes her beautiful to him.

I knew a guy that used to say things like this about his now wife. She wasn't what most would find attractive and I always sensed he made comments like that to keep other people from doing it first. One day his cousin was making fun of her (she wasn't there) and he was kinda joining in but kinda defending her. I pulled him aside and asked him about it. I was curious so I asked if he found her attractive at all. He went on for several minutes about how beautiful her skin was, how she had cute dimples and her nose crinkled when she laughed really hard...he was smitten. He only said those other things because other people didn't find her attractive. Maybe it's the same thing here?

P.S. they are married with 2 daughters now and he is such a doting husband he makes me sick. Lol

That's worse. He's a wuss. Other people may not find her attractive and they aren't required to, but the fact that 1) he allowed his cousin to make fun of her and 2) he joined in is disgusting. I almost wish ole girl had found out and dumped him.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

How attractive is the husband?

 

[LdyKamz]

That's worse. He's a wuss. Other people may not find her attractive and they aren't required to, but the fact that 1) he allowed his cousin to make fun of her and 2) he joined in is disgusting. I almost wish ole girl had found out and dumped him.

I think she knew though because she would say things that were similar to things he's said. I used to feel really bad for her because if it were me I would be so hurt. But yeah I didn't really consider him...decent after that. He's always been a bit of a follower anyway.

 

[MissNina]

I would be really upset. Even if a woman isn't a looker when a man falls in love with her I would think everything that he loves about her makes her beautiful to him.

I knew a guy that used to say things like this about his now wife. She wasn't what most would find attractive and I always sensed he made comments like that to keep other people from doing it first. One day his cousin was making fun of her (she wasn't there) and he was kinda joining in but kinda defending her. I pulled him aside and asked him about it. I was curious so I asked if he found her attractive at all. He went on for several minutes about how beautiful her skin was, how she had cute dimples and her nose crinkled when she laughed really hard...he was smitten. He only said those other things because other people didn't find her attractive. Maybe it's the same thing here?

P.S. they are married with 2 daughters now and he is such a doting husband he makes me sick. Lol

My cousin did this with her now ex-husband. She warned me upfront, "Now I'm gonna tell you right now he's not cute. He's ugly.Dont be surprised and don't say nothing." He walked up and I held it together, but when she got back fully in the car and looked at me, I BOL. She had to prep us Bc our fam will be polite to them, but ask you "why" when they leave

 

[SpiritJunkie]

I would be hurt if I heard that. I want to be the most beautiful woman in the world to my husband as he would be to me.

 

[Froreal3]

if you overheard your husband on the phone talking to a male friend or male family member and they said something like....

"shes not pretty on the eyes but I love that woman. shes my best friend, beautiful on the inside, great mother, has my back yada yada yada"

I know you would be hurt but would it be a deal breaker? would you go on with life like you never heard it? does it not matter how he thinks you look cause he still loves you?

Hell to the no! I'd definitely let him know that I had heard and ask what exactly does he find unattractive about me because "you surely wasn't feeling that way last night when you was hittin it, huh?" Hmmph