How to Tell a Long Time Male Friend You Want to Be More Than Friends LOOONG!

[ctosha]

I broke up with my ex 5 months ago! I finally came to "my epiphany" and I can say I am sooo over him and very happy again. I have a male friend who I have known since grade 1 (6 years old). We are both 27 now. He tried to kiss me back then and I ran away...lol. His last relationship was 5 years ago with his childs mother (who was my friend in junior high school). Long story short she hurt him, his feelings got hurt and now he is hesitant to get into a relationship. We talk regularly and he is a good man I know he is the kind of man I want. He has said to me that if he gets into a relationship again that woman will be his wife. He has had relations women over the 5 years but no relationship. I feel we are on the same page in terms of what we both want from a relationship. The next man I meet I want to marry and I was hurt too so I know where he's coming from. I dont know where these feelings of mine for him came from but they are here. We have always flirted with each other. He says he does not want a relationship now but he says he "knows he's getting older and would like a wife."

So my question is how do I ease into the subject and let him know how I feel. I want to take it slowly to get to that point not just boom jump into another relationship just like that but work to get there gradually. I hope this makes sense and feedback is much appreciated.

 

[Mai Tai]

I personally do not think you should show your hand just yet. I do not think it's very wise to spill your guts to a man that has told you he does not want a relationship.

 

[ctosha]

bump bump bump

 

[Country gal]

Interesting subject. Has he shown signs that he is interested in you and will reciprocate your feelings?

 

[ctosha]

Interesting subject. Has he shown signs that he is interested in you and will reciprocate your feelings?

We started talking more regularly since last year and at one point he mentioned if I hadn't moved away me and him would have probably gotten together in middle school and we still flirt with each other. He has said to me that he is getting older and his next relationship that women will be his wife. I try not to read much into it to get my hopes up. I do not know at this point if he will reciprocate the feelings. He is always in my area and asks to see me however its kind of a last minute thing and I don't have time to get ready so I always tell him that and don't see him b/c of that and he tells me it doesn't matter to him I dont have to get glammed up. Currently I make an effort to initiate to see him however he's a busy man so he just left for atlanta last night when I attempted make plans for tonight....so we will see when he gets back.

 

[Mai Tai]

You keep emphasizing that he said the next woman he dates will become his wife. I think you are reading waaaaaay too much into that. He's not even saying that you will be his next woman so right now, he's just spitting game. If he is interested IN YOU, he will initiate a courtship, and make YOU his wife.

Also I think you are making yourself too available to this man when he's in town. Yes, he's a busy man, but stop making excuses for why he can't sacrifice his time for you. If he wants to spend time with you, he will find a way despite his schedule, and not wait until the last minute to get you in his presence. He will make it a priority.

 

[ctosha]

You keep emphasizing that he said the next woman he dates will become his wife. I think you are reading waaaaaay too much into that. He's not even saying that you will be his next woman so right now, he's just spitting game. If he is interested IN YOU, he will initiate a courtship, and make YOU his wife.

Also I think you are making yourself too available to this man when he's in town. Yes, he's a busy man, but stop making excuses for why he can't sacrifice his time for you. If he wants to spend time with you, he will find a way despite his schedule, and not wait until the last minute to get you in his presence. He will make it a priority.

Thank you, thats what I needed to hear, Ive come back from lala land! When he comes and asks last minute I always say no, im not a last minute person. Im still trying to figure out where these feelings of mine came from it was really out of no where.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

they are called either "rebound" or "it's getting cold out and want someone to bun with".

let him make the move.

 

[ctosha]

they are called either "rebound" or "it's getting cold out and want someone to bun with".

let him make the move.

lol...I actually had the rebound thing with someone else 5 months ago but thats another story this is a real "i like this person and want more" thing. But I will let him make a move if he feels the same, Im impatient so it will be a challenge.

 

[southerncitygirl]

take things slowly and don't let your feelings get in the way of seeing his actions and how he feels about you.