rozlips
Well-Known Member
The last time we did a thread like this, it seriously blew up. I get emails all the time of the list we did and folks claim its from some of everybody.
Its clear to me from reading these posts that we have some young ladies here who need some pointers in the fine art of mating and dating. I feel that its incumbent upon those of us who have mastered these skills to pass them on to others. To those who don't like 'games,' please pass this thread on by. All others, come on in.
Appearances
A woman looking to mate should always be at her best. I know this is a pain, but you never know where a cutie-pie will show up. You don't want to be freaking out because you're in schlumpy sweats when you could be flirting your southern ass off. Save the crappy clothes for at home where no one can see you, outside, put on your best.
Flirting
Flirting is a crucial, but all too underused skill in today's mating world. Lets say you're at an event, and you spy a hottie across the room. You've got to make eye contact, hold that contact for 20 seconds, then smile your most enchanting come hither smile (Yes, practice in the mirror and with friends, real friends, not haters). At first this seems really difficult. Look at your watch, 20 seconds is a long time, but it typically takes a man that long to get a clue. Practice with guys you're not really interested in so you can be relaxed. Then move up to the big league.
Men are led by their egos. If you do this a couple of times, he will come over, and when he does its time for step 2. Look up at him from underneath your eyelashes. This is called 'eye candy' and men fall for it with a quickness. You don't have to talk insipid or say anything silly, but that look communicates everything you need to know. Touch your hair, this sends a primitive signal that you're grooming yourself to be attractive to him. Smile, laugh at his jokes, and crucial, touch him. Not intimately. Just on the arm, hand or shoulder. A brief, casual pat. Remember, men are on an ego trip and this signals your interest in him.
Wait for him to ask for your phone number. Do not offer it, and don't take his if he offers it. (This is controversial, but I truly believe that most men like the pursuit. If being the pursuer works for you, fine, but this is my experience).
The Telephone
Oh, how many wonderful beginnings have been destroyed by this horrible little device. It is, without a doubt, the best weapon in a man's arsenal. You are best served by using it as little as possible. Think of it as a tool for making dates, period, not for communication. Why is this so?
Think about it. We as women are intuitive creatures. We gather information from the whole of a person. Eye contact, posture, demeanour, all are crucial sources of information we lose when get on the telephone. The telephone is great for men because they know they can woo a woman with words, and don't have to worry about her picking up any clues. Don't spend more than 15 minutes on a telephone with a man and thats only a few times a week. If he wants more of your time he has to take you out, and this is where a woman shines.
A woman's seductiveness lies in her physical presence. Our hair, our skin, our scent, even our laugh are weapons in our arsenal, and we can't weave our witchy ways over the phone. And don't call him at all if you can help it.
Sofa Sitting
Yet another hazard. You should never indulge in 'just kicking it' with a guy you're interested in. Why? Well first, its a waste of your time. Time you could be spending with a man who will actually take you on a date. But more importantly, it leads to too great an opportunity for intimacy, too soon. In those first weeks the two of you should be going out. If money is an issue, fine, but there are plenty of things you can do together that are cheap or free. Pursue those. But hanging out at your place or his? Heck no.
Kissing
Practice, practice, practice kissing. Being a good kisser will get you far. I was a virgin until I was 25, but I could kiss like nobody's business. I had to. I knew I wasn't doing anything else! When he walks you to the door at the end of a date, you want to put a kiss on him that will take the top of his head off. Remember, just one kiss and believe me, he'll come back for more.
Exclusivity
Okay, from the get go, dude has to think you're still seeing other people. Obviously its best to actually still be seeing other people, but if you don't have anyone, that's fine, just don't tell him that! At some point during the courtship he's going to ask for sex. You will reply that you don't feel comfortable having sex outside an exclusive relationship. Now, if you're hot and heavy in a make-out session at this point, he'll probably ask for exclusivity off the bat. You, immediately end the make-out session and tell him that y'all need to talk about that at some other time. Send him on his merry way. Never, ever, ever, have a serious discussion about anything with a man who has an erection. He'll say anything to get in the panties and then accuse you of manipulation. Okay, you don't bring up the exclusivity issue. Believe me, he'll bring it up again. Then you say you'll think about it. Give it a few days and then respond.
Now, I don't have a hard and fast rule about the amount of time before sex, but most certainly you want to wait long enough to really know a person. You cannot know a person in a matter of weeks.
Its clear to me from reading these posts that we have some young ladies here who need some pointers in the fine art of mating and dating. I feel that its incumbent upon those of us who have mastered these skills to pass them on to others. To those who don't like 'games,' please pass this thread on by. All others, come on in.
Appearances
A woman looking to mate should always be at her best. I know this is a pain, but you never know where a cutie-pie will show up. You don't want to be freaking out because you're in schlumpy sweats when you could be flirting your southern ass off. Save the crappy clothes for at home where no one can see you, outside, put on your best.
Flirting
Flirting is a crucial, but all too underused skill in today's mating world. Lets say you're at an event, and you spy a hottie across the room. You've got to make eye contact, hold that contact for 20 seconds, then smile your most enchanting come hither smile (Yes, practice in the mirror and with friends, real friends, not haters). At first this seems really difficult. Look at your watch, 20 seconds is a long time, but it typically takes a man that long to get a clue. Practice with guys you're not really interested in so you can be relaxed. Then move up to the big league.
Men are led by their egos. If you do this a couple of times, he will come over, and when he does its time for step 2. Look up at him from underneath your eyelashes. This is called 'eye candy' and men fall for it with a quickness. You don't have to talk insipid or say anything silly, but that look communicates everything you need to know. Touch your hair, this sends a primitive signal that you're grooming yourself to be attractive to him. Smile, laugh at his jokes, and crucial, touch him. Not intimately. Just on the arm, hand or shoulder. A brief, casual pat. Remember, men are on an ego trip and this signals your interest in him.
Wait for him to ask for your phone number. Do not offer it, and don't take his if he offers it. (This is controversial, but I truly believe that most men like the pursuit. If being the pursuer works for you, fine, but this is my experience).
The Telephone
Oh, how many wonderful beginnings have been destroyed by this horrible little device. It is, without a doubt, the best weapon in a man's arsenal. You are best served by using it as little as possible. Think of it as a tool for making dates, period, not for communication. Why is this so?
Think about it. We as women are intuitive creatures. We gather information from the whole of a person. Eye contact, posture, demeanour, all are crucial sources of information we lose when get on the telephone. The telephone is great for men because they know they can woo a woman with words, and don't have to worry about her picking up any clues. Don't spend more than 15 minutes on a telephone with a man and thats only a few times a week. If he wants more of your time he has to take you out, and this is where a woman shines.
A woman's seductiveness lies in her physical presence. Our hair, our skin, our scent, even our laugh are weapons in our arsenal, and we can't weave our witchy ways over the phone. And don't call him at all if you can help it.
Sofa Sitting
Yet another hazard. You should never indulge in 'just kicking it' with a guy you're interested in. Why? Well first, its a waste of your time. Time you could be spending with a man who will actually take you on a date. But more importantly, it leads to too great an opportunity for intimacy, too soon. In those first weeks the two of you should be going out. If money is an issue, fine, but there are plenty of things you can do together that are cheap or free. Pursue those. But hanging out at your place or his? Heck no.
Kissing
Practice, practice, practice kissing. Being a good kisser will get you far. I was a virgin until I was 25, but I could kiss like nobody's business. I had to. I knew I wasn't doing anything else! When he walks you to the door at the end of a date, you want to put a kiss on him that will take the top of his head off. Remember, just one kiss and believe me, he'll come back for more.
Exclusivity
Okay, from the get go, dude has to think you're still seeing other people. Obviously its best to actually still be seeing other people, but if you don't have anyone, that's fine, just don't tell him that! At some point during the courtship he's going to ask for sex. You will reply that you don't feel comfortable having sex outside an exclusive relationship. Now, if you're hot and heavy in a make-out session at this point, he'll probably ask for exclusivity off the bat. You, immediately end the make-out session and tell him that y'all need to talk about that at some other time. Send him on his merry way. Never, ever, ever, have a serious discussion about anything with a man who has an erection. He'll say anything to get in the panties and then accuse you of manipulation. Okay, you don't bring up the exclusivity issue. Believe me, he'll bring it up again. Then you say you'll think about it. Give it a few days and then respond.
Now, I don't have a hard and fast rule about the amount of time before sex, but most certainly you want to wait long enough to really know a person. You cannot know a person in a matter of weeks.
So Roz, you have details about that kiss in your book?
Actually, yeah I do. But I'll be more than happy to give step-by-step instructions.
We got to know so much about each other. Our likes, our dislikes, et cetera.
