How to break the ties...?

[crlsweetie912]

Ok, long story but I had a 5+ year relationship with my youngest son's father. This relationship was dysfunctional but had it's moments. The worst of which was his cheating that was done on at least 3 occasions that I know of. The last straw was when I got a call from his cell (he unknowingly dialed my number). I heard him kissing this other chick and talking about what a great time that they always had togeter, ...

That was 3 years ago and my son wasn't even 1 yet. I was totally heartbroken. I hadn't completely given my life to Christ when I met this man but I always had God in my heart. When my son was born, I found a home church and completely gave my life to Christ! After this incident, I don't think that I would have survived if I didn't have the Lord in my life!

Fast forward to today. For some reason, I have been having feelings lately like I wanted to get back with this person. I don't know if it's just loneliness or what. I do know that it's dangerous. I have been celibate since we broke up and I know I miss companionship, but I truely am beginning to believe that my heart is still "tied" to this man. We see each other often as our son is still young and he is a good father to him. I wouldn't ever deny him seeing his son.

I have been praying for this "tie" to break and I believe that this is the reason that God is witholding the person that is truly for me. I want to cry but I know that God's will will be done no matter what. It really hurts to love someone that hurt you so bad and you can't figure out why you still have feelings for a jerk.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for listening.

 

[ONAMSHN]

I pmed you !

 

[cocoberry10]

Ok, long story but I had a 5+ year relationship with my youngest son's father. This relationship was dysfunctional but had it's moments. The worst of which was his cheating that was done on at least 3 occasions that I know of. The last straw was when I got a call from his cell (he unknowingly dialed my number). I heard him kissing this other chick and talking about what a great time that they always had togeter, ...

That was 3 years ago and my son wasn't even 1 yet. I was totally heartbroken. I hadn't completely given my life to Christ when I met this man but I always had God in my heart. When my son was born, I found a home church and completely gave my life to Christ! After this incident, I don't think that I would have survived if I didn't have the Lord in my life!

Fast forward to today. For some reason, I have been having feelings lately like I wanted to get back with this person. I don't know if it's just loneliness or what. I do know that it's dangerous. I have been celibate since we broke up and I know I miss companionship, but I truely am beginning to believe that my heart is still "tied" to this man. We see each other often as our son is still young and he is a good father to him. I wouldn't ever deny him seeing his son.

I have been praying for this "tie" to break and I believe that this is the reason that God is witholding the person that is truly for me. I want to cry but I know that God's will will be done no matter what. It really hurts to love someone that hurt you so bad and you can't figure out why you still have feelings for a jerk.

Sorry for the long post and thanks for listening.

Soul ties seem to be among the hardest to break. It's interesting to me that you are all of a sudden getting these feelings, when you haven't had them in a while. I can't help but wonder if God is preparing a new person to be brought into your life, and the devil is trying to destroy that by making you think about your past.

 

[BmoreBelle]

This question actually came up in a recent bible study. Here are my notes. 1. Pray that God would cut the emotional ties. And keep praying.
2. Get rid of everything he bought you (clothing, jewels and so forth) as well as things you bought to please him (i.e. Vicky secret, perfume and so forth). All of the objects are just cords binding you to him.
3. Don't give the objects to someone else. Trash them. You don't want to pass that "spirit" on to someone else.
4. Since you have a child with this man, you may want to keep something for you son. Pray about which object(s) and where to put them. It may be in a storage or garage. Somewhere out of sight. If you do keep an object, create a new memory to attach to the object.

Granted it may seem a little extreme or a "bit much". But I've done it and it's worked for me. The things were just that..things and it created so much space (in my mind and my heart) for something and someone new.

HTH

 

[crlsweetie912]

Thanks ladies for the replies. I don't think that I have anything left that he gave me. But I will check. I feel a lot better today.

 

[envybeauty]

I find that making a clean break is best. I had one of those relationships where I was in it for the heart strings. It took a clean break for me to get out of it. There was no long drawn out discussion, no let's talk, no maybe this is for the best. We split after a huge fight and I left. In the end, I realized that was what was needed. Some bomb to drop to end it all...not for little sparks to flame but then die down after we talk, etc. We did that (break up/get back togethe routine) for years because neither of us had it in us to end it completely. it took a bomb in the relationship because nothing else would do.

Given that you have a child, I'm not sure what bomb would drop because you have to keep in touch for the child's sake. But draw the line when it comes to your relations with him. Not a line in the sand, but a key in the door that can't be erased so easily.