How Long Does It Take for Chemistry to Develop?

[ScorpioBeauty09]

This is something I've always struggled with in my love life. I'm dating now so I thought I'd ask here. How many dates do you typically go on with a guy before deciding if you have chemistry or not? Some say it's instantaneous, some say go on a few dates so how you ladies handle it? Any advice is appreciated.

 

[FtrDrO]

I struggle in this area as well. It is well known by my friends that it takes me months to decide if I even like someone. But within 1-2 dates I can figure out if there is absolutely no chemistry or potential.

 

[ElizaBlue]

For me....chemistry is very important. In my opinion you need this, but if you hang around a nice guy enough he will grow on you. The danger in this is that if it doesn't turn out good, there is a resentment because he was never your type to begin with.

I've been in this situation and when I found out he was an a-hole I was so mad at myself because I felt like I had settled and the chemistry was never there to begin with.

 

[Qtee]

I can tell if we have chemistry after the first date..however it takes a few dates for me to decide if he's relationship material..

 

[LovelyRo]

I think Chemistry is something that you should be able to pick up on after the first interaction! Growing to like someone has never worked out for me!

 

[Iammoney]

exactly it has to be instant but some people are slow to open to up that when they finally open it up its like wow. im always open and transparent. my son is a diplomat he has chemistry with everyone.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Thanks everyone! Please keep the comments coming. Glad to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this.

FtrDrO, I'm the same way. It frustrates those close to me when they ask if I like someone and I say "I don't know..."

All4Tris I lean towards what you're saying. I've been out with guys I kinda knew I didn't feel chemistry with to see if they'd grow on me. It never worked. It doesn't matter how nice the guy is. If I don't feel anything, I don't feel anything.

The last time I felt chemistry it was pretty instantaneous but I ended up spending extended time with the guy over a month's time just as friends before it hit me that I felt an emotional connection with him beyond friendship. I can tell if I don't like someone pretty quickly, it's whether there's relationship potential that's hard.

 

[tinkat]

I feel like its either there or its not and it does not take long to see if you do have it. But I have learned that just because you have chemistry it does not mean they are worthy for long term or additonal dates.

 

[meesch]

I need to have chemistry on that first date, honestly. If there isn't much there that first time, I would give it another date, maybe two, but I'd probably already know that it isn't going anywhere by then. Even if it could develop later, if I don't feel it initially I don't usually stick around to find out.

 

[lesedi]

If it's not there instantly, then its not chemistry to me