How do you show support w/out sounding like a nag?

[nychaelasymone]

I have a 33 year old friend and I think he's going through something. He's decided to grow his hair out, which is fine, but in my opinion, it's a little unprofessional for him to be rockin' desinged cornrows (it gives him a thugish look). Although it's a personal preference, I just know how clear people act, especially when you're trying to move up the corporate ladder. I expressed to him that I like the braids but I do think they are unprofessional and he should rethink the idea right now and rock them when he's made it to where he wants to be. He has a negative attitude about his job and basicially told me that professionalism has gotten him no where. Okay fine-I guess my point is when he does get an interview for another company, is he going in cornrows? I don't know why groomed locks are seemingly more accepted than designed rows but they are (in my world). He told me to where to go-in a not so nice way but I told him the truth, since I'm in the same boat, trying to climb the same ladder. I realize that black men do have a hard time but how can I be supportive and honest at the same time?

 

[ThickHair]

Did he ask you opinion about his hair? If not keep it zipped. He is a grown arse man.

 

[nychaelasymone]

Did he ask you opinion about his hair? If not keep it zipped. He is a grown arse man.

he asked my opinion. If I were his wife of S/O, would I still be wrong for stating my opinion?

 

[tiara76]

Well do you support him or you don't?

It seems to me it would be kinda hard to support somebody and at the same time nag them

whether u like him with braids or not...it seems as if ultimately u don't agree with him growing them out for all your personal reasons why its not good for him...and thats cool to feel its not a good idea

but thats not = to supporting him on whatever decision he's making for whatever personal reasons he's making it for

 

[nychaelasymone]

Well do you support him or you don't?

It seems to me it would be kinda hard to support somebody and at the same time nag them

whether u like him with braids or not...it seems as if ultimately u don't agree with him growing them out for all your personal reasons why its not good for him...and thats cool to feel its not a good idea

but thats not = to supporting him on whatever decision he's making for whatever personal reasons he's making it for

I don't agree w/ him wearing braids right now because I honestly believe it is hindering his professional career. I do not overall have an issue w/ braids and suggested that he think about doing it when he reaches his career status. It was just my opinion, but regardless of whether or not he asked for my opinion, I should've just said, they looked nice and kept it moving.

 

[Farida]

You stated your opinion. That's that. He takes it or leaves it. So far, seems like he left it. Nagging, would be you continuing to bring it up to him after this.

Now, if he was your husband, you would have to be firm and tell him that that hair most likely would take him nowhere. If he were to be stubborn about it, you'd just let him rock it to the next interview and when he didn't get the job you politely tell him that his hair killed it. Now, with a DH seeing as it is a decision that affects both of you, you'd just have to be firm and tell him to man up.

A friend, you just tell him and let it go.

 

[tiara76]

I don't agree w/ him wearing braids right now because I honestly believe it is hindering his professional career. I do not overall have an issue w/ braids and suggested that he think about doing it when he reaches his career status. It was just my opinion, but regardless of whether or not he asked for my opinion, I should've just said, they looked nice and kept it moving.

your honest opinion is fine...and can be expressed, ideally better than pretending u agree when you don't

to disagree with a decision somebody is personally making for themselves is not a hindering factor in whether u choose to support them or not

if you can't support him on his choice because of your own reasons why he shouldn't do it, that simply means that you just have a problem with him not agreeing with your point of view and you to keep trying to make him see your point of view is not supporting him...

it can tend to irksome to some

 

[nappystorm]

You stated your opinion. That's that. He takes it or leaves it. So far, seems like he left it. Nagging, would be you continuing to bring it up to him after this.

Now, if he was your husband, you would have to be firm and tell him that that hair most likely would take him nowhere. If he were to be stubborn about it, you'd just let him rock it to the next interview and when he didn't get the job you politely tell him that his hair killed it. Now, with a DH seeing as it is a decision that affects both of you, you'd just have to be firm and tell him to man up.

A friend, you just tell him and let it go.

erplexed

 

[tiara76]

erplexed

my personal sentiments as well ^^