How do you let a guy know you are dating other people

[Maa Maa omo mti]

Let's say you were not seeing someone when you met him, but now you have plans during the week that he calls to make plan. How do you let him know you are not available. Do you tell him you have a date? Do you tell him you are busy?

You are interested in the first guy, but you are not in a committed relationship. Do you just come out and say you are seeing/dating others? How does the guy handle the news?

I told one of the guy I'm dating that I will be busy this weekend. One of the reason is that I am attending a birthday party tonight, and a date tomorrow. I told him about both yesterday morning, nonchalantly mentioned it. But he asked me again last night and I stumbled when i told him. The fact that he asked again got me off guard.

 

[envybeauty]

I never tell a guy about ALL my business. I don't tell him about my relations, my finances, my family, etc. While dating, he is getting to know me as a person: my personality, my character, etc.

If I am busy, then I am busy. I just say that I am going out with a friend. He can guess if guy or girl. If he wants to know more about my whereabouts, then we can decide together to pursue an EXCLUSIVE relationship. Mind you, it is also fair to say that while I am not telling him about everything I do, neither is he. Keep that in mind.

One of my exes, that is how the relationship started. He asked me over the phone about where I was, who I was staying with (I was traveled out of town) yada, yada....I told him then and there that we didn't have that bond yet. Took him by surprise, but it was true. Well, we discussed our relationship that night and took it to the next level.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

One of my exes, that is how the relationship started. He asked me over the phone about where I was, who I was staying with (I was traveled out of town) yada, yada....I told him then and there that we didn't have that bond yet. Took him by surprise, but it was true. Well, we discussed our relationship that night and took it to the next level.

wow chiika. Now that's what I need to do.

 

[BAP28]

i always let men know i am openly or casually dating--as in im not in an exclusive situation with anyone-

but i do tell-----
conversation goes a lil like this....

guy-so whats your status?
me- i am single and casually dating...
guy- what does that mean?
me-it means that i am not in an exclusive situation with anyone at the moment and date casually
guy---hmmmmmmm..how many ppl are you dating--i always say you and another person---( lol ok this is a lil white lie but come on now--i cant tell bro he is #4--lol)
me- and you?

i dont like suprises and im sure he wouldnt either...

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

i always let men know i am openly or casually dating--as in im not in an exclusive situation with anyone-

but i do tell-----
conversation goes a lil like this....

guy-so whats your status?
me- i am single and casually dating...
guy- what does that mean?
me-it means that i am not in an exclusive situation with anyone at the moment and date casually
guy---hmmmmmmm..how many ppl are you dating--i always say you and another person---( lol ok this is a lil white lie but come on now--i cant tell bro he is #4--lol)
me- and you?

i dont like suprises and im sure he wouldnt either...

true I don't like surprises either.

I guess maybe I didn't make it clear from the beginning that I'm going to be dating others.
I just automatically figured that it was a given.

well now he knows.

 

[sonce]

Why do you have to tell him? I like to set the tone for a potential relationship by making it clear that I am not to be questioned about my business by someone who has no standing to do so. (Standing = boyfriend, close relative, close friend.) I just got into a new relationship but up until the very day we had The Talk, I was dating up a storm and I made it very clear to all of those guys that what I was doing when I wasn't with them was none of their damn business. Those who had a problem with it left with my pumps imprinted on the seat of their pants. Don't let a dude get out of pocket with you. "I'm busy" is all he needs.

 

[HoneyA]

If you are not in an exclusive relationship, it shouldn't really come up that much. Since he really wants to see you, it seems that he is ready to take it to the next level and you might not be ready to. If you feel you are not ready to deal with this issue, just keep telling him you are busy when you are busy and wait until he brings it up. But if you feel you must tell him then do, it's up to you. If you were really into a guy and wanted to know where you stood with him, wouldn't you want him to tell you if he was seeing other women?

 

[glamazon386]

Tell him you're not available. He doesn't need to know all that. Or you could tell him that you're keeping your options open. I usually operate on a don't ask don't tell policy. It ain't none of their damn business what I do on my free time.

 

[glamazon386]

Why do you have to tell him? I like to set the tone for a potential relationship by making it clear that I am not to be questioned about my business by someone who has no standing to do so. (Standing = boyfriend, close relative, close friend.) I just got into a new relationship but up until the very day we had The Talk, I was dating up a storm and I made it very clear to all of those guys that what I was doing when I wasn't with them was none of their damn business. Those who had a problem with it left with my pumps imprinted on the seat of their pants. Don't let a dude get out of pocket with you. "I'm busy" is all he needs.

Alright, I agree with this whole post. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Maa Maa omo mti]

Thanks ladies I really appreciate the good advice.

 

[Bunny77]

i always let men know i am openly or casually dating--as in im not in an exclusive situation with anyone-

but i do tell-----
conversation goes a lil like this....

guy-so whats your status?
me- i am single and casually dating...
guy- what does that mean?
me-it means that i am not in an exclusive situation with anyone at the moment and date casually
guy---hmmmmmmm..how many ppl are you dating--i always say you and another person---( lol ok this is a lil white lie but come on now--i cant tell bro he is #4--lol)
me- and you?

He shouldn't even be asking how many people you're dating and you certainly shouldn't need to answer! That's too much questioning from someone who I'm not serious with.

If a man asks if I'm seeing other people, I'll say yes and that's the end of the conversation.

For example, I'm dating one guy who told me from the beginning that he just broke up with someone and is dating multiple people. That's cool... I don't ask him questions and he doesn't ask me any... which is how it should be.


And in general, I agree with everyone else's advice to the OP. You don't need to tell dude nothing. You're busy and that's that!

 

[song_of_serenity]

As long as you make it clear from the beginning you're "casually dating," there should be no problems and he shouldn't be in you business. However, if you make it seem like he's the only one and you want to just "spring it on him" or "keep it from him" then that's wrong. Let it be known, but beyond that, again, none of his business.
~*Janelle~*

 

[runwaydream]

you shouldve just said "im busy this weekend but maybe we can go out (___) im not doing anything then" and left it at that and promptly changed the subject. u should never outright lie if u can avoid it cause u'll get caught in the complicated web you've spun. the secret to lying is to not LIE but to tweak.. the fact that you stumbled on ur words makes u look like a liar. and no guy wants to be w. a girl he feels like he cant trust. you shouldnt have stumbled.. if i was him i wouldnt believe u anymore