How do you handle conflict and disagreements?

[LoveisYou]

Ladies, I would love your feedback on Christian ways to handle conflict/disagreements with others. I want the way I respond to others in tough situations to reflect Christ. I would much rather a win/win outcome when handling conflicts than an all out fight, but I understand sometimes that's not .

I find it hard not to fight back when ppl are dishonest and manipulative. Dishonesty really bothers me, it gets under my skin. How do you handle conflict in general? How do you handle conflict in particularly difficult situations (ex. ppl who lie a lot, manipulative personalities, ppl with high tempers, ppl who do not listen etc.)

TIA

 

[Shimmie]

Ladies, I would love your feedback on Christian ways to handle conflict/disagreements with others. I want the way I respond to others in tough situations to reflect Christ. I would much rather a win/win outcome when handling conflicts than an all out fight, but I understand sometimes that's not .

I find it hard not to fight back when ppl are dishonest and manipulative. Dishonesty really bothers me, it gets under my skin. How do you handle conflict in general? How do you handle conflict in particularly difficult situations (ex. ppl who lie a lot, manipulative personalities, ppl with high tempers, ppl who do not listen etc.)

TIA

Welcome to Life... for it is certain that one's 'Virtues' and temperment will always be challenged...always.

It begins with Desire, which you have; you have the desire to be at peace with others and to resolve confiicts in a Godly manner and not of the flesh.

Your desire is what the Holy Spirit needs in order to move and flow through you, to develop the Godly virtues as situations of life arise which will indeed trigger your reactions towards them and the person(s) involved.

There is no way to escape your emotions, yet it is through the Holy Spirit that we can learn how to temper them.

It's called surrender, total surrender to the Holy Spirit and making a conscience effort to trust God to lead us to peace.

This is so much easier said then done...truely. Yet it is not impossible. Jesus made a point of spending time alone with the Holy Spirit each day, and He stayed in communication with God the Father. That's the 'key' right there, yielding first to God and not our flesh.

I'm learning, still learning each moment of everyday. "Lord, I surrender all".

 

[MonPetite]

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[LucieLoo12]

It will take prayer and fasting and dedication to the word of God. It is nothing you can do on your own, but its done through the Spirit of God..

One thing that God is dealing with me on is....suffering to be defrauded, which means suffering wrong. Alot of times I will want to defend myself and get the last word, but the Holy Ghost says SHHHHHHH!!

1st Cor 6 V 7
Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?


The bible also says a soft answer turns away wrath

Proverbs 15
1A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

When someone is going off on you, dont add wood to the fire by trying to debate back and forth. Say something that soften things up..A friend of mine said her and her husband was eating and he was talking really mean to her...she looked at him and said "Honey, your beans taste soooo good"....his whole attitude changed completely and the he stopped arguing..

The word of God is true...to the world you may seem foolish and weak at the time but you are mighty in the eyes of God.

At the end of the day, you cant control anyone but you...It dont matter how wrong someone may be, make sure you stay right...

 

[Guitarhero]

It will take prayer and fasting and dedication to the word of God. It is nothing you can do on your own, but its done through the Spirit of God..

One thing that God is dealing with me on is....suffering to be defrauded, which means suffering wrong. Alot of times I will want to defend myself and get the last word, but the Holy Ghost says SHHHHHHH!!

1st Cor 6 V 7
Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?


The bible also says a soft answer turns away wrath

Proverbs 15
1A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

When someone is going off on you, dont add wood to the fire by trying to debate back and forth. Say something that soften things up..A friend of mine said her and her husband was eating and he was talking really mean to her...she looked at him and said "Honey, your beans taste soooo good"....his whole attitude changed completely and the he stopped arguing..

The word of God is true...to the world you may seem foolish and weak at the time but you are mighty in the eyes of God.

At the end of the day, you cant control anyone but you...It dont matter how wrong someone may be, make sure you stay right...

This right here. You can discuss but there comes a time to bail, so bail.

 

[Prudent1]

Just echoing what has already been said. Time and relationship spent with God. Growing spiritually. There are times when I think I'm going to respond a certain way but then God leads me to do or say something completely different. I've had to learn to shut up when I didn't want to and to say some things when I wanted to remain silent. Each situtation can be soo different. The common factor though is being in tune with God's Spirit so you will know what needs to be done at that time. You develop and learn how to do that by doing the things Shimmie, Alicia, and LGLamb mention. There is a balance. There is a time to show you mean business and a time to exercise restraint. It's a constant learning process IMHO.

 

[lilanie]

LittleGoldenLamb (got me tearing up)... Your blog that you linked to, was right on time.

I read it (when i should have been studying) because I have a person like that in my life M-F: asborbing that material this morning before I stepped into work was like me putting on the armour of God.

I receive all what others have posted regarding staying in prayer, fasting and letting God be God. It is just that was the step by step recipe that I needed because unfortunately as "old" as I am; I am always still taken aback by passive/agressive & manipulative behavior.

 

[MonPetite]

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[LoveisYou]

Thank you ladies so much, your answers are really what I needed . You ladies are awesome!