How do you and your SO resolve arguments?

[isobell]

I'm asking because my SO and I are both very stubborn independent people, and we love to be right - we're both lawyers - when we first got together whenever we got into an argument it would just go on and on and we both got really sick of it. I have since learned to stop myself from saying things the way I want to say it and instead try to say it in a way that he will be receptive to, many times I'll write him a long email letter detailing my point of view and what my understanding of his p.o.v is. He doesn't really like it because I'm long winded lol and he thinks its a little cold but I think the distance of a letter enables me to calm down and say what I mean instead of trying to win the argument. At the end of the day my relationship with him and how we feel about each other is more important than winning an argument.

Anyway what I wanted to know is how do you guys resolve arguments with your SO/Husband without feeling like a pushover?

 

[Starian]

We both hate being mad at each other so we make it a point to not let the sun set or the day go by with us in a provoked state. It's old school, but it forces us to tackle the issue quickly and head on.

We both state our point and if we don't agree with each other, we just agree to disagree. He's REALLY REALLY SUPER stubborn, but he also hates me mad at him, so he usually buckles and apologizes before things get too far. I'm a little less stubborn, but I tend to snap quicker, in which case I apologize fairly quickly.

 

[isobell]

Starian I think that's great, "old fashioned" ways like never going to bed mad are some of the reasons why our parents and grandparents stayed together for so long.

 

[sylver2]

Usually we will argue, then about 10 mins later one of us will look at the other and do somthing stupid like smile like this and we both laugh and its forgotten about. This happens everytime