How do I tell my friend that she needs to wash her hair?

It's frustrating when your friends don't take care of themselves. OP I totally understand your reluctance to touch your friend's nasty, months without shampoo in sight hair. I wouldn't want to either, and that totally knocks all off the 'let's have a spa day' suggestions. All the women who would gladly do that for a grown able bodied woman who just didn't want to wash her stinky hair are better than me. :nono:
I have a friend who has dry itchy flaky scalp, making her micros look like polka dot braids and I flat out told her that her scalp needs to be washed once a week, no matter what style you have. She argued that shampoo would 'damage the kanekalon'. :rolleyes: I said that was bs and even if it was true, what's more important, some fake hair or her own scalp??? I really hope she washed her hair. I think that you should just be frank with your friend. I was as polite as can be but I told her the truth. Haven't heard back from her yet though.
 
cocosweet said:
Me: Starts sniffing..."Something smells sour." "Do you smell that?"Walks around as if to find the source of the smell approaches her head and says (complete with sympathetic face) " It's your hair, hun."

Walks away and then comes back as if to make sure..."Yep, it's definitely your hair." "You should handle that."
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Like this - direct and honest, but gentle, since she's going through some things.
 
My advice is to be gentle. If she is as sensitive as you say she is there is no need to trample all over her feelings. Hair is a sensitive subject. I say start a conversation about hair and work it around to you washing your hair. Make it about you and ask her questions about her hair as if you are curious. Then tell her that you smell her hair. It's terrible that no one has told her thusfar, because you are not the only one who smells her hair. Her co-worker, boyfriend and others smell it too. Someone will tell her her hair stinks at some point and it won't be nice. That's what friends are for. Her feelings may get hurt but in the long run she needs to know that she gives off a sour oder. Trust your friendship and insticts with this one. Good luck.
 
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If this was a friend I could and would tell her and not even hestitate. If it is an associate I keep it moving.

And I like it that way the other way around. I would want to hear stuff like that from a friend and not an associate.
 
luvmesumhair said:
What about wearing gloves then?
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I was just about to say this! LOL! Y'all are silly up in here! :lachen: But since you don't want to touch it directly, then just wear gloves and if the smell is super bad, then wear a painters mask! Prepare like you are going in for surgery! I have done it before...clean some dirty arse hair...and girllllllll I thought I was going to throw up! I was gaggin' and everything!! Ewlk!

But if you have money like that, I would take her for a wash and set. That way a professional is doing it and can get it looking back to standards...if she is one that things that washing upsets relaxers. And like another poster said...have her go to a dermatologist and see if she has a scalp disease. You never know...
 
My DH has long hair and I just tell him straight up, I'm washing your hair tonight hun cuz it stinks LOL

Maybe you should offer to do her hair but in a forceful, imma do it whether you like it or not way. Give her an offer she can't refuse or something LOL :buttkick:
BTW, and please don't get offended, the description of the dandruff and all that stuff made me want to puke!
 
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I don't think there's a nice way to tell someone that their hair stinks. especially if she's sensitive. I would just tell her that she has LOTS of dandruff in the back of her hair. that's less offensive, and she'll likely not be offended. cause u can then easily say 'girlllll i had a really bad dandruff problem and i hated it, but i use this poo/conditioner and it worked and it didn't revert my perm, but made it feel really fresh n bouncy. blah blah blah. so she won't be scared that she'll wash her perm away.
 
ljbee said:
I have a close friend...who I love dearly. She's sitting right across from me as I type this. :blush: We just got through cooking and eating dinner and now we both have a case of the "itis." :spinning: The thing is my friend is resting her hair on one of my couch pillows and I am so bothered by it, especially because I can't just throw it in the washing machine.

Her hair is beyond dirty and is highly fragrant. It smells so sour that whenever I'm around her, I smell her and if she comes over to my house she automatically stinks up the place. I have to keep air freshener spray on hand. Her hair is greasy infested with dandruff down the length of her strands. Once she was using my computer and scratching her hair repeatedly and every time she did that I cringed because I didn't want her dropping dandruff on my computer and touching it with her greasy hands. I really need to tell her to WASH her hair but she is one of my closest friends and I don't even know how to bring up the subject.

I need to tell her ASAP but she thinks my obsession with hair and hair care forums are stupid and she doesn't pay me any mind when I'm going on about things I've learned on the forums and how it has helped me to get my hair healthy. I feel like she is going to brush me off and think that I don't know any better if I tell her washing her hair is a healthy practice but this has to stop. Any suggestions?
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ooh girl whyyyyyyyyyyy? :lachen: :rofl: :dead: ♥
 
You: Hey when's the last time you washed your hair??
Her: ______
You: wow really, don't you think it's time you wash it?
Her: ________
You: No you should really wash it, I can smell it..

Shrugs.. Just tell her..that's what's friends are for...
 
Maybe you can "accidentally" dump a bucket of water mixed with shampoo on her head.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I'd tell her striaght out regardless if it offends her or not. I never knew how different peoples hygiene regimens were until I worked in the hospital. I tried to give a patient a bed bath once because she smelled extremely foul. I said "once I pass your meds Im going to get you washed up and ready for the day...okay?"....she proceeds to tell me that she washes up every two weeks when shes at home so she'd rather wait until the end of the next week to get washed :perplexed
 
Hi people, thanks so much for the responses. Some of you are so funny, I wish I knew you guys in real life. I'm admire some of yalls bravado, I guess because I'm always cautious of how I come off to other people. I hate offending people.

Anyways, here is my plan: We are both going to a performance on campus tonight. I'm just going to mention that to her that while I was walking behind her I noticed that she had some dandruff. I don't know what else I'm going to say though. I just hope the convo goes pleasantly from that point on...
 
Mizani_Mrs said:
I would just tell her that she has LOTS of dandruff in the back of her hair.
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I'm definitely gonna try it from this approach. By telling her that she has alot of OBVIOUS dandruff, I think that's the best way to get her to KNOW that it needs to be washed. Some of the other suggestions I don't think would convey the same message to her.

vainღ♥♡jane said:
ooh girl whyyyyyyyyyyy? :lachen: :rofl: :dead: ♥
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I know girl, but I did try to word it as least-offensively as possible. Yall just don't understand how much her hair disgusts me. I don't even like her riding with me because I smell her hair and also because I don't want her resting her hair on my headrests in my car! Sad, I know but I keep thinking about the scene from Coming to America when the dude gets out of the car and there is a jherri curl ring left on the headrest. :lachen:
 
Well however the conversation goes please tell her she NEEDS to wash her hair. Come back and update us.
 
I really think you should just come out and tell her. Beating around the bush does not solve the problem. If you tell her she has dandruff on her back, she may wash it tomorrow but then what? She continues to stink up your house and car in a week or so. If you tell her that you smell it, I bet you she will keep it washed from now on.
 
You should just come out and say it. You don't have to be nasty about it. Just come out and say "friend, I know that you are going through a bad time now but your hair does not smell fresh. If you washed it you would feel much better."
 
I would just tell her, please wash your hair because it does not smell good. Also I would offer shampoo and conditioner if she needed it.
 
I would just tell her. I can't imagine greasy flakes all over my couch....eewwww....and not saying anything to my FRIEND. I'd be very frank with her with no intent to harm...only to bring awareness to the issue.

I would first ask kindly that she not place her head on my pillows as the oil from her head could ruin it....then I'd say something like "this weather sure is drying out my skin. I have a great deep conditioner I'm using to combat the dryness of my scalp. Would you like to try it? I'm noticing you have lots of dandruff".

Honestly though, if she's "stinking up the place", I'd have to be very honest about that. "I've noticed an odor from your hair. Are you using a new product? The aroma doesn't agree with you and smells sour".

Good luck!
 
You need to tell her if she is your friend. A true friend will tell you things you don't want to hear and be there for you to soothe you afterwards if you are hurt. If it bothers you that much don't you think others have noticed? Would you want to walk around with dirty, stinky hair and your friend knew but said nothing? I would be more hurt by that. Just be firm and tell her you mean it in love. Goodluck :bighug:
 
This thread is hilarious.


Me: "Hey. What's up with that hair?"
Her: "What?"
Me: "It stinks, homie. You need to take care of that asap."
Her: "Dang."
Me: "I'm just saying."
Us: LOL
 
Me: h#ffa if you don't get your nasty a$$ head off my pillow
Friend: watchu mean
Me: your hair is disgusting and smells like I wet mop. You need to do something about that. ASAP!!
Friend: its like that??
Me: no its worse than that. That was me telling you nicely. Please don't make me repeat myself.

Sometimes you gotta just put people on. It is what it is.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I897 using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
Friend, I know that you've been going through a lot here lately, so let's do something fun to take your mind off things for a moment. How about we have a girl's day out as long as you let me pick all the activities for the day...we'll start by getting all dolled up (wash & style our hair, makeup and cute outfit), then out for a simple lunch, window shop and round out the evening with a movie and takeout.
 
Well honestly you said her mother is in Stage 5 cancer, when my grandfather was in the final stages of cancer I doubt any of us even remembered that we had hair on our heads. :perplexed
 
If this is something that has just recently become a problem since her mom became ill I would leave it alone till she has less to handle. If this has always been a problem then I would say "Honey is your conditioner all natural? It smells like its has soured, you should check the date on the bottle, I can smell it from here."
 
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