"hot combing grows your hair" according to my big sis

[Freespirit02]

I'm in a state of totally aggravation. My sister is natural..so is my niece (she's 5). My sister was forced to be natural because she didn't take care of her relaxed hair. She now rocks a wig..not as a protective style, she just throws it on..and doesn't take care of her hair underneath. Meanwhile my poor niece has to suffer. My niece's hair is the same length it was when she was 2 years old... My sister doesn't moisturize nor deep conditions her hair. Her idea of a moisturizer is hair grease. She also continues to use rubber bands in my niece's hair. The only thing she was doing right was not hot combing her hair (seeing that my niece's hair is as dry as the desert..that wouldn't be a good idea). Until I saw my niece's hair yesterday and learned differently. Here is the convo.

Me: Umm..what did you do to my niece's hair
Sis: I hot combed it
Me: Why would you do that?
Sis: Its grown since i started pressing her hair
Me: You can't be serious..of course it looks longer..the curl is stretched out.
Sis: No really it has grown.
Me:nono: my poor niece

Meanwhile my mom the notorious hair presser is the master mind behind all this crap. Note she is the reason my hair NEVER retained length..and why I never knew there was a such thing as deep conditioning until I was 24 years old.

This was a long rant. But I'm thinking about just taking over my niece's hair. I don't want her to go through what I went through.

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Oh goddess, I take it your sis thinks what you are doing to your hair is rubbish right? and dismisses all the advice you have to give? I know this may sound unfair for your niece but keep doing your hair until it reaches your desired length and maybe your sister might want to hear what you have to say.

Or if you already haven't show her some youtube videos andblogs and stuff.

 

[ms.blue]

I understandbwhat youbare going through. I have a friend who constantly complains about how her daughter's hair doesn't grow and its so dry. I gave her some products and and some recommendations to help with the dryness and incourage/retain growth. She complains that the products didn't work and dismissed my suggestions b/c she knows better (my friend's hair is short and dry). Right now, when she complains, I ignore hercuz that is not my child so I can't force her to do anything.

 

[Urban]

Hmm I'm thinking, pressing the hair keeps it stretched out, no? That way it doesn't tangle then break during combing or styling. So I can see this having the potential to help with some retention. As long as she's not burning the hair to the point where it starts to break off severely.

There are plenty of "heat-trained" naturals with long hair. I don't know about healthy, but long nonetheless.

When I was little, my mother pressed my hair every now and then and I don't think a leave-in or deep conditioner ever touched my hair. My hair was healthy and thick back then. Just sayin' that it's possible to have nice hair without following LHCF rules, and I think lots of ladies here have given examples of that.

And I guess instead of saying things like "you can't be serious" or "my poor niece" ... offer something practical...."it's great you've found a way to style my niece's hair, but I think the heat from hot combs can be a bit harsh on the hair. Would you mind if I showed you how to deep condition her hair to make it a bit more resilient?" or buy her a few 'safe' hairbands?

 

[Freespirit02]

Hmm I'm thinking, pressing the hair keeps it stretched out, no? That way it doesn't tangle then break during combing or styling. So I can see this having the potential to help with some retention. As long as she's not burning the hair to the point where it starts to break off severely.

There are plenty of "heat-trained" naturals with long hair. I don't know about healthy, but long nonetheless.

When I was little, my mother pressed my hair every now and then and I don't think a leave-in or deep conditioner ever touched my hair. My hair was healthy and thick back then. Just sayin' that it's possible to have nice hair without following LHCF rules, and I think lots of ladies here have given examples of that.

And I guess instead of saying things like "you can't be serious" or "my poor niece" ... offer something practical...."it's great you've found a way to style my niece's hair, but I think the heat from hot combs can be a bit harsh on the hair. Would you mind if I showed you how to deep condition her hair to make it a bit more resilient?" or buy her a few 'safe' hairbands?

I wasn't exactly saying that pressing hair was bad..i just said it wasn't a good idea seeing that my niece's hair was super dry. I'm sure my sister didn't use any heat protector before she pressed it either.

 

[Freespirit02]

I have shown her different products that she can use for my niece's hair. She just blows it off. Honestly I think her goal is to make my niece's hair straighter not healthier. She was telling me about this Just for Me product that was suppose to make the hair straighter..and claimed it wasn't a perm. I told her it was the same chemical as a relaxer. She is only interested in straightening products. I will continue on my hair care journey..and be living proof. Knowing my sister she will blame my hair growth on something either than hard work and tlc.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

Have you offered to take care of the baby's hair for her?
Your sister and mother are one thing, but that little girl needs help...I worry that by leaving her hair in the care of your sister, not only will her hair not grow, but she could incur some emotional damage too. I don't want her to end up one of those little girls who hates her natural hair and thinks it's hideous just because their parent(s) didn't know how to take care of it.

It doesn't have to be anything big...just going over once a week to shampoo, DC, and twist her hair is enough. And for during the week, you can leave a liquid moisturizer that can be sprayed to keep the hair moist. I just really want your niece to see how much potential her has and how pretty it can be when it's moisturized and cared for.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Your heart is in the right place. I don't want to sound negative but I think your sister will mess up your niece's hair regardless of what you do unless its braided up. Your sister will still be combing, greasing, and applying rubber bands to your niece's hair even if you wash it and style it once a week. It will look good for a minute and then you'll come over one day and it will be all broken off and the progress will be gone over night.

Do you know how to braid? If so, focus your energy there.