Hostile hairdressers.

[renee_n_3000]

Do you have (or have you ever had) a hairdresser who was hostile to the idea of you wanting to grow your hair out?

I just replied to another post and it brought up some bad memories for me and reminded me of why I stopped going to salons. I'm wondering if anyone else has had the same experiences.

In the post, I stated that I'd had my hair cut to my shoulders in college. Back then I used to go to hairdressers but I never really held on to one for too long because they would all do something to make me not trust them.

Well, when I finally decided that I wanted to just get trims so that my hair would grow back, I encountered a lot of hostility from the hairdressers I went to. I think things were okay until I my hair reached about mid-back. Then things got ugly.

My ends were in good shape, and I would ask politely, as always, for them to "dust" or "trim" my ends as little as possible so my hair could grow out. I remember one hairdresser replying, in a very rude voice, "WELL, EXACTLY HOW LONG DO YOU WANT IT? It's long NOW." Another one said, also in a very rude voice, "Did you ever think that this is as long as your hair will EVER get? Why do you want it longer?"

They would admit that the ends were healthy, but still cut too much off. I just wanted my hair back to where it was before I cut it, and these people acted like I was committing a crime! I know from those experiences that a lot of black hairdressers believe the myth that black hair doesn't grow long and we shouldn't let it grow.

Also, I've head from friends with short hair that their hairdressers will suck their teeth and complain when a long-haired client walks in the door. They think that long hair is a chore to work with. I can attest to the fact that my hair was way more difficult and time consuming to style when it was shoulder-length and layered because I had to curl it every day to get it to look good and I couldn't put it up in a French twist or bun if I wanted to. It also looks much thicker when it's shorter, which is something I don't need.

The longer it is, the less I have to do to it and it still looks neat and styled.

Whew! I just had to get that off my chest. If anyone can relate, please do!

 

[moneychaser]

I definately can relate.
I had this hair dresser tell me the reason why I wanted my hair long, was because I trying to look like a model, WTF?
I don't even have to mention that her hair was a mere inch long, red, and damaged.
I don't know why I was going to her in the first place

I went to get my hair layered, and that hating *** ******, cut my hair shoulder length!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so nieve then?
Sorry for venting!

 

[Nyambura]

I can *completely* identify with your experience. That's what finally drove me a year ago to seek out salons that service a wide range of hair types. I go to Aveda salons here. They're sooooo much more professional! on every level, including timeliness which is a big plus in my book.

 

[Stylepink]

I hear ya girlfriend! Before I got the hairdresser I have now, I went through an "interview process" with at least 9 ladies before I picked which one I would let do my hair. If they gave me any type of attitude about an interview, I would politely end the conversation and go on to the next one. The one I picked has been doing my hair for about three years now and I love her professionalism and her technique. She listens to me and follows my directions to the "T".

 

[balleryna]

ohhh yes i can relate alright! i've had hairdressers actually laugh in my face when I've told them...i wanted them to pls comb my hair starting at the ends... I didn't want them to use a blow fryer or a curling iron..that I didn't wanna straighten my hair...that I didn't want them to trim my "horrible raggedy ends"...tht I didn't want them to tear a brush thru my hair when its wet....i could go on and on!

 

[Erica78]

[ QUOTE ]
renee_n_3000 said:
Do you have (or have you ever had) a hairdresser who was hostile to the idea of you wanting to grow your hair out?

[/ QUOTE ]


Oh boy does this bring back some bad memories!

I've had several beauticians that had a problem with women wanting to grow their hair out. One woman cut my hair shorter than I wanted to be intentionally!

And to add insult to injury...she cut it unevenly... Sorry that you had such a bad experience! It took me years to find a stylist that cares about what the customer wants...and is educated about hair health!!! Sadly...I will be moving soon. I've been going to the same stylist for 10 years...and I D R E A D looking for a new one.

 

[Bobbie]

[ QUOTE ]
renee_n_3000 said:
My ends were in good shape, and I would ask politely, as always, for them to "dust" or "trim" my ends as little as possible so my hair could grow out. I remember one hairdresser replying, in a very rude voice, "WELL, EXACTLY HOW LONG DO YOU WANT IT? It's long NOW." Another one said, also in a very rude voice, "Did you ever think that this is as long as your hair will EVER get? Why do you want it longer?"

[/ QUOTE ]

I had that happen to me too. In my case, my hair was too long and too THICK. The other stylist (who's supposed to be the better one), was complimenting while the other kept shiftin' and suckin' her teeth.

Reminded me (and everyone in the room) 3 times, "Guurllll, I need to pay rent." Said my hair's "TOO long and TOO thick" so "how much money you got wit' you? I didn't know you were gonna come with all that hair."
She made sure to cut it down to size by raking half of it out and snipping off the rest.

And the funny thing is, they try to make you feel guilty about taking up their time.

She got her rent paid all right.

 

[cutebajangirl]

Bobbie- I don't know why but your story makes me sooo mad. I would confront her. How is your hair doing now?

 

[Bobbie]

It makes me mad every single time I think about and it's been 2 months (day before Thanksgiving) since it happened. I confronted her after *intentionally* making and no- showing 2 appointments on her...both in the wee morning hours on the weekend.

My hair is in braids right now, with some damaged, split ends she caused by the raking and ironing. I have no bald spots (thank God I have/had really thick hair), but the hairline of course, suffered the most.

I was in shock when it was over (it was traumatic), said "Thank you" in a choked up voice, and made those appointments (the no-shows). I can hear the girls who were waiting saying how they felt sorry for me.

I lost 5-6 inches and lots of hair at the roots (picture shedding after removing braids and raking right afterwards...a lot), so it's not so full as it was before.

I'm planning on confronting her at the middle of June though, I've got a plan....

 

[Aisha]

This is why I am at the point where stylist will see me ONLY for relaxers...and I am skeptical about that too...My last stylists I had to cut her off because she wanted to charge me $100 for a relaxer and doobie..I went to a really good stylist in Charleston so I may have to go home every 3 months just to get my hair "did"..

 

[cutebajangirl]

Bobbie- good for you!! I hope all goes as planned. I think it is the nerve to actually say "I got rent", especially with the come back for the 2nd perm because she got rent. Sooo basically she is brazenly admitting that she is gonna mess your hair up to pay her rent. That is a mess with the other girls talking about how they feel sorry for you. Did she know you were a stanford student? Similar things but not as bad used to happen to me in New Haven because for whatever reason it was obvious I wasn't a resident. (Hmmm maybe it was because I didn't have magenta hair

.)So they felt they could be rough and punk me into compliance. Unfortunately sometimes it worked.

 

[Bobbie]

Yep, she knew I was a Stanford student and didn't know where else to get the perm.
And I can tell that she knew what she did was wrong when she said, "I'll understand if you don't want to come back, but you need to call me first. I don't want to come out here and you not showing up."
So I deliberately made her come out on a Saturday morning to wait for me, told her to wait (I'm stuck in traffic) for 2 hours before she finely gave up. (I can be mean when I'm vengeful.)
She must've thought since I was a student, I should be able to afford $70/week to pay her rent.

 

[jasmin]

[ QUOTE ]
Aisha said:
This is why I am at the point where stylist will see me ONLY for relaxers...and I am skeptical about that too...My last stylists I had to cut her off because she wanted to charge me $100 for a relaxer and doobie..I went to a really good stylist in Charleston so I may have to go home every 3 months just to get my hair "did"..

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't care what my hair dresser says. The answer is no to trims. He's only there for touch ups and that's it but I think he's trying to milk me for extra money. He said I'm going to trim your hair (which isn't free). Hello you're not going to tell me to pay you for something I didn't ask for myself. I don't trust you that much. I told him my mom trims my hair. He had the nerve to tell me I'm your mom today. I said I don't think you look like my mom so I don't think so. He tried to tell me he couldn't curl my hair because it was uneven. I said well don't. I'll just put it in a pony tail if he had such a problem. I can tell he was pissed the way he put emollient in my hair. That's ok because next time if I even bother to go to him I will say is the trim free to shut him up. He may not remember me because it's going to be awhile until I go to him. I may ask for someone else. I'm thinking you better take your high priced perm and do what you're told.

 

[aqualung]

Bobbie, I hope the evil stylist reaps what she has sown. I hope she gets evicted, nevermind the rent money. Have you found a nicer salon near Stanford yet?

Did those other clients who felt sorry for you have long thick hair like you do? I think it's good policy to patronize the salon that services your town's long haired black women. Part of my consultation process was to check that other 4a heads of hair at the salon were well treated when I first started relaxing my hair. I've met my share of stylists who only rip people bald and then sew in some weave.

 

[Bobbie]

Megonw, I think I've found someplace in San Francisco that's much better.

The girl who went right after me also had long, thick 4a hair... I just hope she doesn't lose it all like I did, but she looked positively frightened when it was her turn.

I'm definitely going back there. She had the nerve to tell me she was growing out her hair, with help from the blonde "dirty token color" wig.

Renee, I feel you girl. It may be better after your hair gets to a certain length to do it yourself. Alot of stylists can't be bothered with hair that takes too much time.

 

[Koreanblaq]

Hey Bobbie....We had McCants class together last Winter - dunno if you remember me, but PM me and we'll chat

Anyways, a friend of mine got her hair done at this place in Town & Country, and the stylist gave her MAJOR attitude, and this friend has wavy hair that is not at ALL difficult to straighten (you've probably seen her before on campus). He asked her when she made her appointment, does she have a relaxer. She replies no, and he goes, "Are you SURE your hair is soft enough to get straight with just a blow dry and flat iron?" I was considering going over there, but I think he'd be scared of my hair

For this original topic, this is the MAIN reason why I don't go to hairdressers. If I EVER have someone make another snide remark about how "thick" my hair is and suck their teeth, I'm going off. I'm PAYING you to do my hair - so do it and shutup.

 

[Bobbie]

I remember! Diana!!! (Don't want to give out your entire name on the internet

) Small world! What's up? I did not know you visit this forum!

That makes 3 Stanford folks (and an alumni) on this board.

You know if I remember right, you've got really thick hair yourself! I can only imagine the hassle hairdresser would put you through!

 

[Supergirl]

One hairstylist was doing my hair when her husband called and asked her what was taking so long. She told him that the client had long hair & that son of a_____ responded to her by saying "CUT IT!"

 

[Honey6928215]

I bet you if his wife had long hair like yours he wouldn't be saying that. Men are so ignorant!

 

[renee_n_3000]

I'm sorry so many of you have experienced this stuff too. Some hairstylists truly seem crazy. It's like they are working from a manual called "How to Ruin Your Client's Hair."

SuperCuts was a treasure to me the last time I was growing my hair out because the stylists there do what you ask them to and don't usually argue, all for $12! For the past couple of years, I've able to dust my ends myself.

Thanks for commiserating, ladies.

 

[Karonica]

[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
One hairstylist was doing my hair when her husband called and asked her what was taking so long. She told him that the client had long hair & that son of a_____ responded to her by saying "CUT IT!"

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Karonica]

[ QUOTE ]
Aisha said:
My last stylists I had to cut her off because she wanted to charge me $100 for a relaxer and doobie

[/ QUOTE ]

 

[Karonica]

Okay, this thread is freaking me out. I'm about to cancel the one I just made with some lady.

 

[sassygirl125]

It amazes me how these stylists manage to keep customers. And their teeth...

If I were a stylist I would want clients with long, healthy hair. They would be like walking advertisements.

 

[Supergirl]

[ QUOTE ]
sassygirl125 said:
It amazes me how these stylists manage to keep customers. And their teeth...

If I were a stylist I would want clients with long, healthy hair. They would be like walking advertisements.

[/ QUOTE ]

HELLO!

 

[A_Christian]

[ QUOTE ]
jasmin said:
[ QUOTE ]
Aisha said:
This is why I am at the point where stylist will see me ONLY for relaxers...and I am skeptical about that too...My last stylists I had to cut her off because she wanted to charge me $100 for a relaxer and doobie..I went to a really good stylist in Charleston so I may have to go home every 3 months just to get my hair "did"..

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't care what my hair dresser says. The answer is no to trims. He's only there for touch ups and that's it but I think he's trying to milk me for extra money. He said I'm going to trim your hair (which isn't free). Hello you're not going to tell me to pay you for something I didn't ask for myself. I don't trust you that much. I told him my mom trims my hair. He had the nerve to tell me I'm your mom today. I said I don't think you look like my mom so I don't think so. He tried to tell me he couldn't curl my hair because it was uneven. I said well don't. I'll just put it in a pony tail if he had such a problem. I can tell he was pissed the way he put emollient in my hair. That's ok because next time if I even bother to go to him I will say is the trim free to shut him up. He may not remember me because it's going to be awhile until I go to him. I may ask for someone else. I'm thinking you better take your high priced perm and do what you're told.

[/ QUOTE ]

No he didn't tell you that he was your mom that day

I can't believe the attitude of some of these stylists,that is some kind of nerve!

 

[HairFanatic01]

HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOES ANY ONE ELSE SENSE THE PRESENCE OF JEALOUSY?????? Ok, you can always judge a stylist by the condition of her other clients' hair and most of all her own hair!!! The hair stylist that I'm going to now has healthy bra strap length hair. She is so excellent about everything. I mean ok........ she gives you 40 min. under the dryer for the conditioner, she ONLY gives ou trims once or twice a year, she is update on the natural products, she NEVER overlaps the perm and she is always concerned about the health of your hair. This is a Jamaican salon called Mal Ziz's in GA. And all of her cleints have either shoulder length or longer hair.

My experience was I think the worst of anyone's yet who have posted. This hair stylist had very short hair at the time and all of her clients did also ..... **i WONDER WHY??? OK...... this was two years ago and I had just taken my braids out after a year of being in them. I had like 6-7 inches of new growth. She gives me a perm and combs it through the ends!! Then ok . she washes the perm out and gives me NO CONDITIONER!!!!!! Then she gives me a trim that cuts off 3 inches of my hair!! Then 2 weeks later I come back to her and she does the same thing. That week I was looking at my hair line by my ears on both sides and it was completely gone!! Her stupid lazy a** habits had caused me to go almost completely bald in those areas not to mention the rest of my hair was breaking off!! Oh you guys and check this out.. her own daughter didn't even get her hair done by her. She went to someone in Atlanta. I was almost in tears. I mean strands of my hair were coming out on the sides. Even my mother's hair had started to break. When I was in her shop that last week of me seeing her, she tells my mom " You know your daughter has some breakage on her hairline." Yeah. now she is concerned when she sees the real damage in my hair knowing she caused it!! That's when I found my current stylist. She is so great and she has long hair too.... so she can relate.

 

[Alize]

<font color="blue"> Man, what's up with these jealous chicks? I can't stand these over-jealous people who let it affect them like that. I get a lil jealous now &amp; then, but I don't treat people bad behind it. Don't they give hairdressers classes on how to deal with people? I get sick of the diva attitude. There's someone graduationg hair school all the time, so people need to kill it. My friend had this beautiful, naturally curly hair &amp; she went for a trim &amp; (luckily) she heard the chick in the back saying how she was gonna chop that hair. She told the girl &amp; kindly left the salon. That's so trife. I have to be careful who I go to b/c I have long hair. Soon, I want it cut in those flippy layers so I have to find a good person. I don't have a steady hairdresser b/c I never went to school, but I do hair so the things they tell me usually tick me off. Like one of the last chicks I went to asked who cut my hair. It was even &amp; she kept going on, telling me it wasn't. I was like 'OK, can you just give me the trim?'

They getting

. </font>

 

[karezone]

[ QUOTE ]
Alize said: Man, what's up with these jealous chicks? I can't stand these over-jealous people who let it affect them like that. I get a lil jealous now &amp; then, but I don't treat people bad behind it. Don't they give hairdressers classes on how to deal with people? I get sick of the diva attitude.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah they do teach them how to deal with people but that does not mean that they pay attention. Most established hair dressers have this attitude because they honestly believe that you won't or can't go to another salon. We all need to start reporting this bad stylists to the board and the BBB. When we start showing them that we can and will take our money somewhere else.

In fact if you live in NC, to file a complaint go here. There is a link to a pdf complaint application fill it out and mail it in.

 

[cutebajangirl]

I think that we complained and removed our business every time a hairdresser messed up out hair then they would be forced to reevaluate their practices.