Hit Dogs Hollering - Anti Sahms/sahws

[OriginalBeauty]

I’m in a married women’s FB group. One of the women posted that she is a “1950’s wife” who likes to cook and clean. It was a short post. She didn’t attack anyone.

Now why did she want to go and say that? All of these women came out of the woodwork, jumping up and down saying things like, “You need to have your OWN!” (The woman said more than once that she works outside of the home.) “That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!” Et cetera And what’s worse is that the ring-leader is one of the admins! Seriously considering leaving that group. Never realized it was so negative until today.

But this is a MARRIED FB group? Why wouldn’t MARRIED women support one form of supporting FAMILY? It blows my mind! What do you ladies think?

 

[Maracujá]

Slightly OT: "support groups" on FB are nothing like LHCF, had to learn it from experience. They keep being shut down and people will let you have it, if they just happen to disagree with you on a subject.

 

[jaiku]

Some people hate what they can’t have.

 

[Miss_C]

Support groups out in the e-wild aren’t that great.

I’m in a group chat with a bunch of people and I just stopped giving my opinion because I’m clearly just doing too much. Most women of today don’t buy into traditionalism, and the men don’t either so you just have to live your life like you live it.

 

[jasmatazz]

I think this is why outside of close family and trusted friends, I don’t buy into any of that sisterhood/girl-code bull that I did in my 20’s.

Women can be just as nasty, judgmental, and narrow-minded as men can be. People are people, and you have to know who to share the details of your life with and when to keep guard.

 

[lesedi]

I think the way those women came at her was dead wrong but I do advocate for a woman stashing something of her own aside just for her own protection. But calling her out her name and trying to push their views on her was foul.

 

[Southernbella.]

They shouldn't have attacked her but I agree that women should have a safety net. And I say that as a former sahm. When I left my job I rolled my 401k into an IRA and I never stopped putting money into it (and it wasn't a secret).

 

[Shimmie]

I'm laughing at "Hit dogs hollering".

Truth is that these women are not supportive nor respectful of other wives' choices. You're the only one who is doing just that. Good for you

Seems like they are being hit and hollering quite a lot.

 

[mrselle]

As a sahm I've learned to live and let live. I don't think I could ever fix my mouth to attack another woman just because she lives her life differently than I do. People do what makes sense for their family. What works for one family may not work for another. Its disheartening that those women weren't more supportive.

 

[Evolving78]

They shouldn't have attacked her but I agree that women should have a safety net. And I say that as a former sahm. When I left my job I rolled my 401k into an IRA and I never stopped putting money into it (and it wasn't a secret).

I didn’t do that. I spent my 401k to cover expenses to make up for my lack of contributing income. Boy that was stupid!! But that’s ok I lived and I learned. I have been blessed to be able to be at home for my children. Now I’m changing careers, went back to school, and working from home to still be there for my children. I completely agree wives need to always have something for themselves and their children, and always keep their employable skills updated.
Men nowadays don’t value cooking, cleaning, maintaining and taking care of the children. I learned that from experience. I kept my home and children in order and that wasn’t highly valued. Lol Men just expect a wife to do that, but it isn’t valued.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

Maybe they *have* been hit and that’s why they’re so “passionate” about the topic?

 

[Lylddlebit]

It doesn't take much for statements on the internet to be taken out of context or blown out of proportion. This strikes me as another example of that.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Some people hate what they can’t have.

Where is the bingo gif?

I’m cool with if you work at home, work at a job, or stay at home. I just like black women having options. It seems like all the other races get options but not us

 

[Black Ambrosia]

It's odd to me that people in this thread are chiming in about the importance of a woman having her own when that woman is making her own money. I'm not sure why that's being stressed when she isn't a sahw.

 

[sheanu]

I think people in general are extremely judgmental about other people's choices...even though the majority of times it has nothing to do with them. I've been a mom just short of 5 months and realize that it's a new level of judgment on all sides so I don't share much anymore. Unfortunately sharing just seems to be an invitation for unsolicited advice and opinions. I've found peace in keeping my business my own and letting other people tend to theirs.

 

[LivingInPeace]

It's odd to me that people in this thread are chiming in about the importance of a woman having her own when that woman is making her own money. I'm not sure why that's being stressed when she isn't a sahw.

Maybe people are just skimming through the post and not catching the full issue.

 

[moneychaser]

I think this is why outside of close family and trusted friends, I don’t buy into any of that sisterhood/girl-code bull that I did in my 20’s.

Women can be just as nasty, judgmental, and narrow-minded as men can be. People are people, and you have to know who to share the details of your life with and when to keep guard.

You forgot jealous

 

[Evolving78]

It's odd to me that people in this thread are chiming in about the importance of a woman having her own when that woman is making her own money. I'm not sure why that's being stressed when she isn't a sahw.

I think the 1950’s thing is throwing people off. You don’t think of a career woman or a woman having to really get out there and work during that era. She may also be a woman that caters to her man. Have his slippers and cigarettes ready, house is clean, kids are quiet, and dinner is served hot. She has on her pretty apron and makeup is done.
But I did point out that men don’t value that anymore, it’s just expected. I cooked and cleaned but it had nothing to do with once being a wife.
I did it because I needed order in my home, and I’m still that way to this day.

And the more I think about it, the woman was trolling. Most American women clean and cook. Women have been doing that since the beginning of time. I don’t know why a woman would get uptight about another woman cooking for her family and keeping her house clean. Women don’t cook and clean up anymore? Is that a crime? Lol

 

[hopeful]

They really said this?

“That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!”

They really think working and having their own money will protect them from being cheated on and left? I agree woman need to have financial independence but that does not keep a man from cheating. I wonder where they got that idea from?

 

[mrselle]

They really said this?

“That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!”

They really think working and having their own money will protect them from being cheated on and left? I agree woman need to have financial independence but that does not keep a man from cheating. I wonder where they got that idea from?

I'm not part of that particular FB group, but I imagine those type of comments were women lashing out and trying to hurt the original poster. A man will cheat whether a woman "has her own" or not. It's a shame people can't have an exchange where everyone listens and hears what each person is saying. People will go straight for the jugular the second they begin to feel attacked.

 

[kupenda]

They really said this?

“That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!”

They really think working and having their own money will protect them from being cheated on and left? I agree woman need to have financial independence but that does not keep a man from cheating. I wonder where they got that idea from?

Agreed. The day women stop attributing the behavior of men to the way a woman chooses to exist, will be a wonderful day indeed.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

In 2 years 2 months and 17 days, I'ma explore my option to be a SAHW who neither cooks nor cleans. The only part of 1950's about it will be pearls and cocktails.

 

[kupenda]

In 2 years 2 months and 17 days, I'ma explore my option to be a SAHW who neither cooks nor cleans. The only part of 1950's about it will be pearls and cocktails.

#GOALS

 

[Saludable84]

They really said this?

“That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!”

They really think working and having their own money will protect them from being cheated on and left? I agree woman need to have financial independence but that does not keep a man from cheating. I wonder where they got that idea from?

Aka... Im getting cheated on and I work and its just something men do

 

[Evolving78]

They really said this?

“That’s why he’s going to cheat and leave your *** high and dry!”

They really think working and having their own money will protect them from being cheated on and left? I agree woman need to have financial independence but that does not keep a man from cheating. I wonder where they got that idea from?

But the lady said she works. So what was really the reason women were getting uptight?

 

[Southernbella.]

It's odd to me that people in this thread are chiming in about the importance of a woman having her own when that woman is making her own money. I'm not sure why that's being stressed when she isn't a sahw.

The thread is framed that way. The title says sahm/sahw and the women who attacked the woman are clearly talking about sahm/sahw.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

#GOALS

The old man wants to retire at 55 and we go walk the Urff like Caine from Kung Fu and by walk, I mean fly first class and do non dusty things. Or at least I tole him that's what that better mean.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Thought of this thread while I was watching my alter ego do her thing.

 

[LeftRightRepeat]

Context : that’s why he’s going to cheat and you will be left with nothing because you don’t work. Not that he’s cheating because she’s a Sahm.

Yes some sahms pay themselves a salary or bank an allowance in a separate account but in general it’s usually one bank account and she doesn’t have separate savings

 

[Lymegreen]

The look on his face when he closed the fridge.

Thought of this thread while I was watching my alter ego do her thing.