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Hip Tbl & Beyond Challenge 2018

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beauti said:
Thank you! @lulu97 I've heard great things about qhemet but can never find it otg. I will look around some more. As for CRN, I have the moisture milk, what can I layer it with for ultimate moisture? Will any of the butters Do? tia!
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@beauti If you have a Sephora close by, Qhemet products are sold there. That's the only place I've seen them OTG in my area.

I used the CR Aloe whipped butter gel in addition to the Moisture Milk. It was a good combo. My sister likes the almond twisting butter and she still uses it. It's the only product she uses in her hair period after washing. Her hair always looks so supple and moist too!
 
lulu97 said:
For lasting moisture throughout the week: I have used and liked in the past:
Camille Rose and Qhemet

I wouldn't repurchase either though. I grew tired of the cake batter smell from the Camille rose after about a year and the Qhemet was too heavy for my hair in the long run. I would recommend both lines though for someone in need of moisture.
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@beauti I would recommend both.

I dont care for smells either, I prefer neutral, but i have no splits or moisture loss since using these.

I would recommend Qhemet Burdock if the Amla is to heavy, but I hate the satsuma smell of both.

My Honey Child has a Type 4 (heavy)and Buttery Soy (medium) that smell neutral.

beauti said:
Thank you! @lulu97 I've heard great things about qhemet but can never find it otg. I will look around some more. As for CRN, I have the moisture milk, what can I layer it with for ultimate moisture? Will any of the butters Do? tia!
Click to expand...

Check Seph.ora
 
@LuLu
Beautiful hair.
for the breakage just go back to basics of your hair regimen and products like previous poster said.

When I get too fancy or complicated with my regimen or products my hair suffers.
For Moisture I use Camille rose naturals Moisture milk over Infusium 23 then seal with Argan, jojoba, or whatever oil I have around in my stash. I follow up with some CRN moisture butter (fav) or almond jai butter (not my fav but it works) on the last 2-3 inches of my hair esp. in winter or seasonal changes.
For light or heavy protein I use Aphogee products, or eggs. Hth
 
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I almost want to give up...like...to be honest. I want to reach Hip Length...but I don't know why I feel so unmotivated to work toward it and achieve it.

I just want it to "happen":ohwell:

I've even tried introducing new products to my regimen...:nope:

And I STILL haven't bothered to get my vitamins. Idk what it is :(
 
SmilingElephant said:
I almost want to give up...like...to be honest. I want to reach Hip Length...but I don't know why I feel so unmotivated to work toward it and achieve it.

I just want it to "happen":ohwell:

I've even tried introducing new products to my regimen...:nope:

And I STILL haven't bothered to get my vitamins. Idk what it is :(
Click to expand...

Hugs. What if you made your pathway to HL simpler? Easy regimen. Very few pills/vitamins.
 
YvetteWithJoy said:
Hugs. What if you made your pathway to HL simpler? Easy regimen. Very few pills/vitamins.
Click to expand...

Yeah...that's a good suggestion.

My regimen itself is severely simple. I don't even deep condition frequently at this point. I DC like...once a month now.

I co wash, leave in oil and gel every 3-5 days. I'm looking forward to daily cowashing this Summer :) And I only shampoo when my hair feels really dirty or gunky...so maybe about every 1-2 weeks.

Half the time.. my hair is in a bun or ponytail...I don't feel like doing special styles to it.

Honestly...I don't feel like doing anything. I feel completely burned out. It's not even bad stuff...but I'm going through about 4 life changes all at once this year. I'm so tired.
 
SmilingElephant said:
I almost want to give up...like...to be honest. I want to reach Hip Length...but I don't know why I feel so unmotivated to work toward it and achieve it.

I just want it to "happen":ohwell:

I've even tried introducing new products to my regimen...:nope:

And I STILL haven't bothered to get my vitamins. Idk what it is :(
Click to expand...

@SmilingElephant It's just a phase Sis and it will pass. I went through those quite a bit and talked about it in our previous hip length challenge. I notice it hits when I get bored with my hair/routine. Just take it one day at a time. You will get the passion back, especially if you focus on something other than length for a while. Maybe focus on mastering a certain style or playing around with some of those temporary spray colors? Just something to switch up your day to day routine.
 
Spring is almost here! Woot Woot!

Within the next couple of weeks, I'll be posting a new spring/summer mini challenge. I'll also be updating and sharing any changes I plan on making to my warmer-months hair routine.

I hope you all will join in on the mini challenge as well as sharing your routines if you plan on changing anything for the spring/summer.
 
This weekend I went to a wedding attended by my husband's high school and college squad. It was a little intimidating. My husband's former fiancee was there. (They broke it off). There's really nowhere for me to share this, so I'm sharing here.

She is beautiful, very successful, and has gorgeous, straight hair all down her back. I felt some kind of way about it all. My husband kept telling me how stunning I looked (just as a matter of course, not because he thought I was thinking of her or anything). He frequently told me how all of his friends kept saying, "Man, your wife is beautiful!" But I felt a little less than. Almost his entire squad of friends are doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. There are other details I can't share that had me feeling . . . regretful, I guess is the word. We had a good time and it was great meeting everyone, and I know I'll feel better as the days go by, but that was a rough one, y'all.
 
Why feel regretful? Because she's quote unquote successful? And has long hair and you feel she's gorgeous...while all the fellas was taking notice of your glow and shine?

Guuuuuuuurrrrrl...! Don't let anyone make you feel less than. We are all put on this earth without a map for how we individually should go about our lives...we are all still figuring it out, therefore...never give that power to someone or people to make you feel unworthy to exist or be amongst them. Don't give them that permission ( I learned this year's ago in therapy)...Nobody is better than anyone else.

I used to feel some type of way around certain "classes" of people...until I learned that we're all the same behind the curtains. Some just smile it off and fake it til they make it.

At the end of the day...I know I'm badass and anything I touch.. I'm awesome at it.

At the end of the day...you are the one he married. You're the Queen! Now get out there and run that chess board ma'am! Fix that crown! #checkmate :hug3:

YvetteWithJoy said:
This weekend I went to a wedding attended by my husband's high school and college squad. It was a little intimidating. My husband's former fiancee was there. (They broke it off). There's really nowhere for me to share this, so I'm sharing here.

She is beautiful, very successful, and has gorgeous, straight hair all down her back. I felt some kind of way about it all. My husband kept telling me how stunning I looked (just as a matter of course, not because he thought I was thinking of her or anything). He frequently told me how all of his friends kept saying, "Man, your wife is beautiful!" But I felt a little less than. Almost his entire squad of friends are doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. There are other details I can't share that had me feeling . . . regretful, I guess is the word. We had a good time and it was great meeting everyone, and I know I'll feel better as the days go by, but that was a rough one, y'all.
Click to expand...
 
@YvetteWithJoy I appreciate your honesty and transparency. I know it takes a lot of courage to put your feelings out in the open like that so thank you for sharing.

With that being said, know that the presence of another woman's beauty does not mean the absence of your own. And no matter who you are in the room with and what success or educational background they may have, you are STILL amazing and beautiful in your own right.
 
YvetteWithJoy said:
This weekend I went to a wedding attended by my husband's high school and college squad. It was a little intimidating. My husband's former fiancee was there. (They broke it off). There's really nowhere for me to share this, so I'm sharing here.

She is beautiful, very successful, and has gorgeous, straight hair all down her back. I felt some kind of way about it all. My husband kept telling me how stunning I looked (just as a matter of course, not because he thought I was thinking of her or anything). He frequently told me how all of his friends kept saying, "Man, your wife is beautiful!" But I felt a little less than. Almost his entire squad of friends are doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. There are other details I can't share that had me feeling . . . regretful, I guess is the word. We had a good time and it was great meeting everyone, and I know I'll feel better as the days go by, but that was a rough one, y'all.
Click to expand...

Nonsense! You already said it in your profile status, 'Thankful for God, health, love, work, & this hair!' Yaaassss!!!!! Hugs and kisses!
 
I had another easy wash day yesterday. I barely had any tangles and my hair felt a lot thicker than it did last week for some reason...maybe it's the leftover effects of the protein treatment I used last week? But, I've also been noticing a lot of what looks like new "sprouts" of hair in between sections of hair. They're not in spots where breakage could/would occur, so maybe my hair is actually getting thicker. The Xcel21 spray has really been helping with growth.

My 10-year high school reunion is going to be in September, so I have a mini goal for myself to be at least grazing hip length by that time.

@beauti Your wash and go looks great. I've been meaning to try making flaxseed gel for a while.
 
YvetteWithJoy said:
This weekend I went to a wedding attended by my husband's high school and college squad. It was a little intimidating. My husband's former fiancee was there. (They broke it off). There's really nowhere for me to share this, so I'm sharing here.

She is beautiful, very successful, and has gorgeous, straight hair all down her back. I felt some kind of way about it all. My husband kept telling me how stunning I looked (just as a matter of course, not because he thought I was thinking of her or anything). He frequently told me how all of his friends kept saying, "Man, your wife is beautiful!" But I felt a little less than. Almost his entire squad of friends are doctors, engineers, lawyers, etc. There are other details I can't share that had me feeling . . . regretful, I guess is the word. We had a good time and it was great meeting everyone, and I know I'll feel better as the days go by, but that was a rough one, y'all.
Click to expand...

Stating the obvious here but.... Umm.... he married you, for better or worse and there are reasons they're not married. Hey shes prob is a good person and all maybe they're just not compatible or not meant for each other, it happens. Now you feeling some kind of way about her cause she has long straight hair, and your hair maybe is not where you want it yet, or she fit, beautiful all that is you doubting yourself. I agree w/ @SmilingElephant and @lulu97 so eloquently put it even if she was Brazilian supermodel what she has doesn't automatically take away or make what you have disappear.

That's the enemy trying to plant seeds of doubt and lack in your heart, be diligent, cast that spirit of envy and lack down in Jesus name, Amen!
We as women and as people in general have a sinister idea in,our heads that for me to shine no one else can shine as well, or for me to be rich, skinny, or successful, and blessed everyone else has to fade away- that's a lie from the father of lies and that's why the world is the way it is.

There's enough abundance in the world for all of us to have long hair, be beautiful, smart, talented, successful, wealthy, and blessed everyone is going to have their own unique look talents, and smarts no one is like someone else and that's why he married you. Stop worrying about who she is, what she has, or what she's doing.

If the hair anorexia is really bothering you that much, just buy some clip in extensions or wigs to have your goal look when you want it. There's nothing wrong with adding some pieces in when you want that look or ps under a wig. You know what she's probably engaged to someone else right now and not even thinking about you're husband. Keep your head up. God bless.
 
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@YvetteWithJoy From what I've witnessed on this forum you have such a beautiful way about you. You seem kind, open, and giving. I can see why your husband chose you. Beautiful inside and out. Keep your head up.

beauti said:
@pre_medicalrulz thanks hun!

@Noelle01 thank you! It was so easy to make! I used naptural85 updated tutorial but I added oils in mine.
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@beauti You're hair looks gorgeous and makeup too. I also watched Naptural85's video and now I'm convinced to try it. Did you put anything in your hair before adding the gel? If I remember correctly, she added the gel straight to her hair after cleansing. I've always used my leave in before gel.
 
Thanks, all.

Your posts are really helping.

I think it was all challenging especially because I haven't met my goals for myself and I've been sidelined caring for motherless children in my family, so I don't know when or how I'll be able to focus on my goals.

I have an expensive Harvard degree and I'm finishing a graduate degree tho week in a field I've learned I want to leave. It feels like I started out with a lot of promise but have not manifested what I really want or even need. I have lots of debt from these degrees but not the career I want because I was learning myself.

It felt like I am still developing while everyone there was already building, if that makes any sense. I know it's different looking from the outside in, but their lives looked so settled, in a good way. I drove my little car into the parking lot and parked next to all those Mercedes and BMWs. :smile: I'll feel better about it all in a few days. Right now I'm wanting to take this feeling and turn it around for good in the form of motivation and focus.

Petty point: I'm not aging like she is. But seriously, I know to be glad for black success. It was nice to see so much black money/love/success on one hand.
 
Lucia said:
Stating the obvious here but.... Umm.... he married you, for better or worse and there are reasons they're not married. Hey shes prob is a good person and all maybe they're just not compatible or mrpeantvfir each other, it happens. Now you feeling some kind of way about her cause she has long straight hair, and your hair maybe is maybe not where you want it yet, or she fit, beautiful all that is you doubting yourself. I agree w/ @SmilingElephant so eloquently put it even if she was Brazilian supermodel what she has doesn't automatically take away or make what you have disappear.

That's the enemy trying to plant seeds of doubt and lack in your heart, be diligent, cast that spirit of envy and lack down in Jesus name, Amen!
We as women and as people in general have a sinister idea in,our heads that for me to shine no one else can shine as well, or for me to be rich, skinny, or successful, and blessed everyone else has to fade away- that's a lie from the father of lies and that's why the world is the way it is.

There's enough abundance in the world for all of us to have long hair, be beautiful, smart, talented, successful, wealthy, and blessed everyone is going to have their own unique look talents, and smarts no one is like someone else and that's why he married you. Stop worrying about who she is, what she has, or what she's doing.

If the hair anorexia is really bothering you that much, just buy some clip in extensions to wigs to have your goal look when you want it. There's nothing wrong with adding some pieces in when you want that look or ps under a wig. You know what she's probably engaged to someone else right now and not even thinking about you're husband. Keep your head up. God bless.
Click to expand...

Thanks, this helped me :):):):)

And if anyone is looking for realistic clip ins that match natural hair extremely well, I wear these > https://www.krshairgroup.com/

They match so well. They've saved my life, because I really hated the short hair look and I didn't want to wear wigs/weaves.
 
@YvetteWithJoy

:bighug:
Sis, I totally understand. I think it's good that you're working through these feelings instead of giving in to the pressure of ignoring or minimizing these uncomfortable thoughts. I'm sure you're going to emerge on the other side feeling great about things. It takes certain characteristics to complete a Harvard degree and to go on to pursue graduate education. You've got what it takes to be as successful as you dream to be! :) :sneakyhug:
 
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