sereia
Member
Hi to all of you ladies, I would greatly appreciate your help because I honestly don´t know if I am tripping:
Here it is: I have been with my SO for almost 2 years. We do not live together. It has been a rocky relationship, especially the first year was really with a lot of fights and misunderstandings. After that it has become better although lately we do not see each other often, maybe 1-2 x/week. One thing is that we hardly have “relations”, I don´t remember if we had it this year. :scratchch I never really desired him and he stopped seducing me.
He has a daughter of 7 years. A week ago he stood me up to go to her mother´s place and help her with her homework. He felt that mom could not deal with her own daughter. I was very upset about that because the girl was mostly raised solely by her mother and lives with her so I guess that she knows and can handle her daughter. I feel that he spoils her too much. To him, she is never wrong and by far the most important person in his life although he denies it. He apologized afterwards and everything was back to normal, until last weekend.
There was a big annual festival in my city which I really enjoy (carnival of the cultures – love it! Don´t miss it if you are in Berlin at springtime ). We had attended it together the last two years, except for a big Bolivian party where he meets a lot of friends (he is Bolivian btw). I let him have his fun then. He called me on Saturday afternoon and said that he would meet his friend later. I did not hear from him again until 4 p.m. next afternoon.
That night I send him a sweet “Good night”-message which he did not answer. This is really unusual because it is a ritual for us to always phone or text before going to sleep. We did that even when one of us goes to bed late.
Sunday is the main day of the festival. There was a big parade and everybody and their momma attended. I wanted to go with him and he knew that. Because I heard nothing from Mr. Invisible, I went with friends. Then I got a message saying that he was still home and had to sleep. I didn´t bother to reply because I was pissed.
During the parade I met his party-buddy who was surprised that SO was not with me. Of course I asked what had happened last night. He answered evasive and reluctantly that the party did not end very late and they had split then.
So I ask myself what to think or do now. A part of me sees it as a huge disrespect and the last straw to end it. Another part does not want to throw away the relationship and the connection and intimacy that we built.
What do you think about the situation? Did anyone make similar experiences?
Thank you!
Here it is: I have been with my SO for almost 2 years. We do not live together. It has been a rocky relationship, especially the first year was really with a lot of fights and misunderstandings. After that it has become better although lately we do not see each other often, maybe 1-2 x/week. One thing is that we hardly have “relations”, I don´t remember if we had it this year. :scratchch I never really desired him and he stopped seducing me.
He has a daughter of 7 years. A week ago he stood me up to go to her mother´s place and help her with her homework. He felt that mom could not deal with her own daughter. I was very upset about that because the girl was mostly raised solely by her mother and lives with her so I guess that she knows and can handle her daughter. I feel that he spoils her too much. To him, she is never wrong and by far the most important person in his life although he denies it. He apologized afterwards and everything was back to normal, until last weekend.
There was a big annual festival in my city which I really enjoy (carnival of the cultures – love it! Don´t miss it if you are in Berlin at springtime ). We had attended it together the last two years, except for a big Bolivian party where he meets a lot of friends (he is Bolivian btw). I let him have his fun then. He called me on Saturday afternoon and said that he would meet his friend later. I did not hear from him again until 4 p.m. next afternoon.
That night I send him a sweet “Good night”-message which he did not answer. This is really unusual because it is a ritual for us to always phone or text before going to sleep. We did that even when one of us goes to bed late.
Sunday is the main day of the festival. There was a big parade and everybody and their momma attended. I wanted to go with him and he knew that. Because I heard nothing from Mr. Invisible, I went with friends. Then I got a message saying that he was still home and had to sleep. I didn´t bother to reply because I was pissed.
During the parade I met his party-buddy who was surprised that SO was not with me. Of course I asked what had happened last night. He answered evasive and reluctantly that the party did not end very late and they had split then.
So I ask myself what to think or do now. A part of me sees it as a huge disrespect and the last straw to end it. Another part does not want to throw away the relationship and the connection and intimacy that we built.
What do you think about the situation? Did anyone make similar experiences?
Thank you!
erplexed even after learning about each other? I'm asking you this because we as women tend to make excuses when the obvious has been made quite clear. I was always told to take in consideration the actions of a man I dated verses what he tells me. You know your man better than any of us. I do think that you should have a talk with him to see where his head is...and go from there. 
....needless to say that did not work out. Though I wanted it to, but I learned that you can't be in a relationship alone. If you are the only one making the effort to make things work, then it's not worth it. I had all the signs in front of me (changes in behavior, broken dates,etc.) but I chose to look past them...I was trying to read into it, instead of being like, "He's on BS...NEXT!!!!" I've learned my lesson now though.
): since he's not even married to you, i think it's more than acceptable for his daughter to be the most important thing in his life. when you date someone with children, i think you have to accept the fact that if that person is a good parent, their children could (and should) be held as more important than you. if you don't like it and are prone to jealously regarding that, the solution is simple: do not date someone with children.
