HELP ME BEFORE I GO OFF!!

[SimplyBlessed]

OK so my little cousin is over here, spending the weekend with my daughter. Well my mother and I were talking to here and let me tell u!!!

first off she says her mom put highlights in her hair and keeps putting a perm in it allllll the time!! i'm like what is all the time she said like every few weeks she keeps saying she hates her hair (mind you she is only 10)

her hair is sooo damaged and hard as a darn rock....n since she's over here I want to help her out...she is lacking confidence...so I want to make it look nice...maybe a blow out, but her hair is hard as a rock...where do I start?

when she was younger I use to braid it all the time...i believe she is maybe a 3b/3c...

may I add she is mixed which may be the reason her mom does this to her hair yea not a happy camper right now...

I'm natural so my relaxed ladies please chim in...

*should I dc on dry hair to soften it up...idk what to do

 

[fattyfatfat]

whatever you do, please ask her mom first. also, try to send her home with some products to use. how old is your cousin?

 

[SimplyBlessed]

she is only 10....her mom don't care what we do (I actually use to take care of her hair n keep it braided until she got about 7) she says she tells her mom she doesn't want a perm n her mom still puts it in her hair...n when I asked how she puts it in she said all over to the ends everytime



Also she has curls so i'm so lost on the whole perm thing, b/c she still has curls....IDK i'm sooo lost

 

[Platinum]

I'm newly natural but I would suggest using a moisturizing poo, protein treatment, and a good moisturizing DC. Does her hair feel coated and look dull (lack of shine)? Maybe you can try a clarifying or chelating poo to remove product build-up and/or mineral deposits. Try this before using the moisturizing products so they can penetrate the hair shaft and be more effective.

Can you post a pic of her hair?

 

[fattyfatfat]

wash her hair and give her a good treatment. hopefully other ladies with little girls can come in here and help.

 

[lilsparkle825]

Wash it for her, deep condition, and put it in some sort of large twists or braids that will last a while.

 

[SimplyBlessed]

I think she may need a little protein would the aphogee 2 min recon be enough? I do not want to do the 2 step for her hair

 

[JustSimplyTish]

Nothing I can say to help....But it is so sad...I hope you get some good advice....

My two step daughters are relaxed....Hummmm no comment....But ONLY by the Grace of God their Mom takes really good care of their hair and it looks beautiful and they are only 12 & 13 but they have been relaxed for as long as I can remember since they were about 7 or 8 ....and they have 3a/3b hair...some parents just don't want to be bothered and are lazy....and some just have no clue what to do so hard to blame them...but they need to get educated

 

[caribeandiva]

Do a moisturizing DC ASAP!! Poor baby. It'll be ok.

 

[wheezy807]

Co signing with using a moisturizing shampoo and deep conditioner, sounds like she needs that instead of any protein. That's really sad. Good luck and please let us know how it turns out.

 

[Prayin4FullWL2012]

I would do a clearfing shampoo and then I would do a moisturizing shampoo, I would use each of them one time. Then I would give a really good DC like Mizani or something heavy like that, I would put a shower cap on and leave it for over night since she is spending the night. Then in the moring if it still felt hard I would do it again, then I would rinse it out the next day and while it was still wet put some moisturizer and some type of oil, like castor or coconut oil and braid it up, then I would call her mother curse her out and tell her since she don't know or understand what she is doing to this little girls hair, for the mother not to touch it no more and just let her come over to you for the weekend. This is what a lot of women here on the forum went through and now we are just now learning what not to do to our hair. Most of our hair would of been down our backs if our people knew how to take care of our hair. Myself included, shyt I'm mad for you.

 

[Solitude]

Yeah...the protein might only make her hair harder. My vote is for a good shampoo and deep conditioning, then put her hair is some well-moisturized braids or twists...well, since she is relaxed it would probably have to be plaits.

If you can, talk to her mom about not putting the relaxer on root to tip, suggest she wash, deep condition it, and keep it braided (professionally) until she can grow out the damage.

This is so sad....my mom always took very good care of my hair.

If her mom won't be too offended, www.tightlycurly.com and Teri LaFlesh's book Curly Like Me might help her.

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

i say moisture 1st.. several moisturizing dc's to soften the hair. then do a protein and then more dc's. get her some simple staples to take home and try to keep her hair up, like in braids or twists...

not too much you can do though cause once she's back home her mom is gonna start slapping a relaxer from root to tip again every other wk... so uh, yeah

 

[LittleLuxe]

Hopefully this isn't inappropriate in some way but is the mother white? Maybe the issue is she's so uneducated about what to do with the hair she's following the (bad) hair practices she's absorbed from others, lord knows there's plenty of grown women working for salons who still do relaxers root to end.

I think others have suggested some good advice but I also think you need to get to the root of the problem in what the mom is doing with her daughter's hair, because honestly if someone's putting highlights in a 10 yr old's hair what goodness you do will surely be negated when she's back in her care again. I'm not against children over the age of 5 getting perms as long as the hair will be taken care of and it's reasonable, I've heard of perm over processing but highlights are a whole new level of crazy.