** FRIEND WITH HEAT DAMAGED HAIR. HELP! **

[Ebony Majesty]

My friend has neck length hair. I believe she hasn't relaxed for about six months, and says she is not relaxing her hair again.

I've asked her what her hair is like when she washes it, and her reply was 'pretty much straight, I only start to see waves when I need to wash it'. From when her hair broke off at the front, I think her hair type is 4a/b

She flat irons her hair after every wash and about 3 times between washes


I've been trying to teach her about healthy hair practices like deep conditioning, moisturising, protecting the hair at night, but I don't know how to tell her about this. Her hair is thin with see-through ends She wants to grow her hair to MBL but it isn't going to happen if she keeps doing that. HELP!

 

[CORBINS]

As far as heat damage is concerned, from EXPERIENCE I know that the only thing you can do is cut it off and start over again. You should also take pictures of her hair and let her see exactly what it looks like. When I first joined this forum, I had no idea how horrible my ends looked until I took my first picture. Showing her how others look can also open her eyes.

 

[Anna9764]

My friend has neck length hair. I believe she hasn't relaxed for about six months, and says she is not relaxing her hair again.

I've asked her what her hair is like when she washes it, and her reply was 'pretty much straight, I only start to see waves when I need to wash it'. From when her hair broke off at the front, I think her hair type is 4a/b

She flat irons her hair after every wash and about 3 times between washes


I've been trying to teach her about healthy hair practices like deep conditioning, moisturising, protecting the hair at night, but I don't know how to tell her about this. Her hair is thin with see-through ends She wants to grow her hair to MBL but it isn't going to happen if she keeps doing that. HELP!

This is a easy one. Either she stops all the heat and abuse or she'll never have the healthy long hair she desires. PERIOD

 

[Kari107]

This is a easy one. Either she stops all the heat and abuse or she'll never have the healthy long hair she desires. PERIOD

Right she has to lay off the heat. Once she does she probably could use a good trim to get as much of the damaged hair off. Then she needs to start caring for it properly. She's lucky she has a nice friend that is willing to help her through it.

 

[Ebony Majesty]

thank you all for the advice
I guess I'm gonna have to be blunt with her

 

[Gracie]

ITA with not flat ironing as much, trimming the hair and that you are a great friend. When you talk to her be gentle. Generally, most women are sensative about hair and can become defensive when it comes to unsolicited advice. Basically feel her out first, you don't want an arguement to start because you are trying to be helpful.

 

[glam-]

It does sound like a lot of her hair is heat damaged and will need to be cut off. But I'm pretty sure she's not ready to lose that length yet. Can you convince her to do some deep treatments and maybe get braids for 4-6 weeks (or longer), to help break her of her flat ironing habit. Maybe after she takes the braids out and sees the difference between the healthy new growth and her heat damaged ends, she'll understand and be ready to move on and adopt some less damaging practices.

 

[Fine 4s]

It does sound like a lot of her hair is heat damaged and will need to be cut off. But I'm pretty sure she's not ready to lose that length yet. Can you convince her to do some deep treatments and maybe get braids for 4-6 weeks (or longer), to help break her of her flat ironing habit. Maybe after she takes the braids out and sees the difference between the healthy new growth and her heat damaged ends, she'll understand and be ready to move on and adopt some less damaging practices.

There's nothing like SEEING that difference between the heat damage ends and the healthy hair. I knew I had heat damage but unitl more recently, I can't stand it (even my braid outs look a lil' off - I might have some pics later) ! and I decided to get a good trim! Yes, I'll lose some length but hey...

 

[Ebony Majesty]

Hey Gracie
I understand about people being defensive about their hair because I am!

Hey Glam
She says she would never get braids because her dad disapproves of it because I was trying to suggest that to her. I was going to offer to do it for her

Hmm I have offered to wash, set and style her hair to which she has agreed to. Maybe I should do that asap and she might take on board what I'm doing