Heartache

[kaynewme]

Hey my boyfriend recently broke up with me due to his insecurities. Im a pretty established person. He has past issues hes unable to deal with (mother's murder, dad abadoning him, and etc). He said hes unsure of himself...doesnt know who he is or what he wants anymore. He said I deserve much better. This was a week ago. I'm still crying not as much and I cant stop thinking about him. We only were together five months. I was in love with him.We have a ton of things in common. It just felt effortless and easy to be with him. Until a couple weeks ago. It was his mother's anniversary. He got a promotion at work but it wasnt what he expected. He doesnt make nearly as much money as me. But that never bothered me. I just feel so lost and confused. Just hopeless......Thanks for listening.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I am sorry you are hurting. God knows I have been there, and it hurts really badly.

If he feels like he can't bring his best self to a relationship right now, he's undoubtedly right. Maybe when he gets himself together you can have a future.

 

[hopeful]

I'm so sorry that you are hurting right now. It's only been a week so it is still so fresh. Over time you will feel better. Make sure you get outside for fresh air and to be around people, do something special for yourself too. Your bf was not in a good place. It's sad he couldn't work things out with you, but it's probably for the best in the long run since he is so confused and overwhelmed.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I agree with LadyPaniolo, until he gets himself together, he will never be the man he wants to be for you and the man you deserve to have. Forcing yourself to be with him during the process will more than likely be harmful to the relationship and cause it to end.

I know it hurts, but giving him his space and honoring his wishes will be best for both of you.

 

[kaynewme]

I know you guys are right. I'm a nurse. I did agree to help him find a therapist. It just hard to pull away when you grown so accustomed to someone.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I know you guys are right. I'm a nurse. I did agree to help him find a therapist. It just hard to pull away when you grown so accustomed to someone.

Most folks stay stuck in relationships that are not healthy for them because they feel comfortable and have grown accustomed to that person.

I'm sorry for your heartache

 

[Mai Tai]

It sucks that you are going through this but please understand that your ex did you a favor by being completely honest with you about what he is going through. I actually respect the fact that he is choosing to work on himself and heal from an obviously painful past as opposed to stringing you along.

 

[hopeful]

I also wanted to add that I was happy to hear you say that you are established, are a nurse, and make good money. You have it together lady, be proud, and hold it together. Being a nurse you are probably very compassionate but it would have become very stressful helping others at work and helping your husband at home. You need someone who is more happy, stable and strong and who can truly partner with you. Maybe it will be him, if not, I pray you'll meet a wonderful guy. But in his current state, your bf would have ended up breaking your heart sooner or later.

 

[kaynewme]

I also wanted to add that I was happy to hear you say that you are established, are a nurse, and make good money. You have it together lady, be proud, and hold it together. Being a nurse you are probably very compassionate but it would have become very stressful helping others at work and helping your husband at home. You need someone who is more happy, stable and strong and who can truly partner with you. Maybe it will be him, if not, I pray you'll meet a wonderful guy. But in his current state, your bf would have ended up breaking your heart sooner or later.

Aaawwww thanks. Yes my compassionate side takes over. I just want to help him....but I think the best thing to do is just leave him alone. Im trying to stay upbeat. Signed up for some lessons at the shooting range (always wanted to do it) and I'm going to start doing yoga. One day @ a time.

 

[Lucie]

It gets better. I know at the moment it doesn't look like it, but it does. Take this time to also focus on yourself, and heal from this. Even though he is the one with issues, do not allow this to embitter you or become doubtful of yourself. You are wonderful and this too shall pass. xoxo

 

[MD_Lady]

I know you guys are right. I'm a nurse. I did agree to help him find a therapist. It just hard to pull away when you grown so accustomed to someone.

It really is. Pain is part of the healing process so please be patient with yourself.

 

[Bmack]

I am so very sorry you are going through this and I know it sucks, there will be good and bad days. However, keep your concentration on yourself and your own goals. He is a man, and he should be able to get himself together-be grateful that he told you instead of hurting you worse in the end. You have to respect that.

I would also implement no contact and not reach out to him via phone, emails, messenger etc. He said he needed to be alone to sort out his life and its direction. Take heed to that and focus on yourself. This way, you will not have to revisit the hurt feelings of having contact, but not having him around like you so deserve. With time, trust, you will be stronger and it will hurt much less.

 

[kaynewme]

Its just hard...just worry about him. just wanna give him hug.....*tear drops*

 

[kaynewme]

Update: We never got back together. He did contact via Facebook to let me know he was having a baby with the ex and to see how I am. Lol. Men

 

[Bnster]

He was/is messed up and lucky escape for you.

 

[Theo]

woo. sometimes rejection is God's protection ma soeur

 

[loolalooh]

Update: We never got back together. He did contact via Facebook to let me know he was having a baby with the ex and to see how I am. Lol. Men

You dodged a bullet. Trust. I can tell you have a lot of wonderful qualities, and the right man will truly appreciate you.

 

[cyrealla]

im sorry about this OP, and if you don't mind me asking, how did you feel when he told you about his ex and the baby?

 

[ElizaBlue]

It may not seem like it now, but he did you and the man you are meant to be with the biggest favor. He got out of the way. I wish you brightest blessings.

 

[ThickHair]

Update: We never got back together. He did contact via Facebook to let me know he was having a baby with the ex and to see how I am. Lol. Men

Is he now on the block list? Men are strange I tell ya.