He told me he wanted a woman like Michelle Obama

lady_godiva

lady_godiva

Well-Known Member
There is a man on my job who I thought had been actively pursuing me. He is constantly making eye contacting and complimenting me. He even referenced getting married to a group that he was talking too and looked me in my eyes when he stated this. He even finds ways to be around me.

The other day when I was showing him a picture of me and a local VIP he told me that I should frame the picture. I told him that I should frame the one that I have with Michelle Obama instead. He got excited about that and then said that he wanted a woman just like Michelle Obama.

I was floored. I do not know what he meant by this. I don't know if he is letting me know in a nice way that he is not interested or if he wants me to be her size or what!!! There were other people around so I could not say anything because I was shocked. I couldn't even make a comeback like I want a Barack Obama. Please help me out with this.
 
Why do you think itd has to do with weight? It could be her style, her grace, her intelligence, that she seems to be great mom and a great wife, etc.
 
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The only other thing that I can think of is that if we were to get together he would want me to put my career ambitions on hold and support his. That is the only other thing that I can think of.:sad:
 
I think it was a compliment! He probably thinks you're like Mrs Obama in manners or other personal traits or accomplishments :)
I would definately take it as a compliment :yep:
 
Um.... I think you might be interpreting his comment in a way he didn't intend. I don't think when he said he wanted a woman just like Michelle that he was saying you are NOT like Michelle. He could just be saying that he really wants a ladylike, intelligent and beautiful woman like her (and he could mean YOU when says that).

Frankly, so many men have terrible taste in women. The fact that he admires Michelle O. so much and wants a woman like her, and he ALSO likes you, is a compliment. He holds you in high esteem.

I think as women we tend to overthink things sometimes. Just breathe and take it easy. It's only one comment.
 
FlowerHair said:
I think it was a compliment! He probably thinks you're like Mrs Obama in manners or other personal traits or accomplishments :)
I would definately take it as a compliment :yep:
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Thanks! Now I feel better. It's just that I am overweight, but have lost and am still losing. When I told my mother, she stated that it was my weight. Plus a fellow co-worker who used to work with him and knew him before I did stated that he likes tall, thin, women with long hair. But he met me 20 pounds heavier and seemed smitten then.
 
Wow. I think you're reading too much into it. You sound a bit offended, without knowing where he's coming from. Are you interested in him, or are you looking for a reason not to be?

LHCF can't tell you what was meant by a man YOU know. We can only guess. BUT You have the opportunity to ask him questions, get to know him, find out if you're really interested in him, too.

I think you should ask him what he meant, or better yet, forget First Lady O, and find out if your likes and dislikes line up with his. HTH!
 
No need to spend time second guessing him. Just ask him what he meant. And be open to hearing what he really has to say instead of asking him in an accusatory fashion like he hurt your feelings, because he will pick up on that and will not tell you the truth.
 
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Still Sexy Stewardess said:
Wow. I think you're reading too much into it. You sound a bit offended, without knowing where he's coming from. Are you interested in him, or are you looking for a reason not to be?

LHCF can't tell you what was meant by a man YOU know. We can only guess. BUT You have the opportunity to ask him questions, get to know him, find out if you're really interested in him, too.

I think you should ask him what he meant, or better yet, forget First Lady O, and find out if your likes and dislikes line up with his. HTH!
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I am crazy about him because he is always doing wonderful things! Which is why I should have seen it as a compliment instead of a put down.
 
I personally wouldn't ask him anything. From what I gather, this is just someone you are interested in and you think he may be interested you. Nothing more, nothing less. To ask him what he meant by that comment would seem weird to me. Especially since it happened a few days ago.

I think you're overanalyzing the whole thing and you're letting your insecurities get the best of you.
 
He more than likely was refering to the 'quality' of woman that Michelle is, I don't think you should be the least bit concerned by that statement, infact I'd take it as a compliment because if he is obviously into you, and he says that, it probably means that he thinks you are are smart, classy, sophisticated, strong and sexy wife worthy woman.
 
I think you should ask him what exactly did he mean, but frame the ? so that you don't feel defensive. You can say something like "I've noted that I heard you say in general that you want a woman like Michelle Obama, might I ask is there anything specific that you are referring to about her that you like in your ideal woman?

And if a man is telling you to frame a photo it sounds to me that he was excited/proud about your pics more than you were and your acccomplishments.
 
I wouldn't be complimented by or insulted by the comment. It was a compliment to Michelle Obama, period. Enjoy the attention he is giving you and see where things go. Right now it seems he may like you or he could just be friendly and a bit of a flirt. Until he asks you out I wouldn't pay too much attention to every little thing he says. I've been married a long time and have learned that men say a lot of "stuff" that doesn't mean that much to them. 90% IMO is about their actions, do they ask you out, openly show they care, call you often, etc.
 
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Is it possible that he was indirectly flirting with you? He knows you've noticed he's interested (right?), and he probably assumed you'd take that to mean that you possessed similar (positive) qualities as Michelle Obama.
 
Please don't ask him about it. If you do, I'd put $ on it that your insecurities will show through and may make him second-guess his attraction. Yes, in a relationship you should be able to be "vulnerable" and "open", but this right here is not in that category. Right now, he's feeling you out and vice versa. Keep strutting your stuff like you're the woman he wants and he "better recognize".

No offense to your mother, but sadly parents are responsible for planting seeds of insecurity in us and will often "water" those seeds for as long as we let them. If you're insecure about your weight, change it (you said you are working on that). If you are working on it, that in itself should make you feel good b/c you are taking care of yourself. Tell yourself, "I am a work in progress" and "keep your stride stank" (I got that from someone).

Anywho, all the best and enjoy the courtship. Silence those negative voices/thoughts and have fun . . . you deserve it. :)
 
In all honesty I don't think its anything wrong with having a conversation with him about a statement he made. If your confused it will give you alot more clarity on your feelings towards him because your obviously interested. How he would think your insecure is beyond me. I think its fair to ask.

I mean if you told him yeah I want me an Al Sharpton, gurl even I have to ask is it the hair, the accomplishments or his hair products...let me know...lol...lighten up and relax, he seems to like you with all this eyeballing ya'll doing.
 
hopeful said:
I wouldn't be complimented by or insulted by the comment. It was a compliment to Michelle Obama, period. Enjoy the attention he is giving you and see where things go. Right now it seems he may like you or he could just be friendly and a bit of a flirt. Until he asks you out I wouldn't pay too much attention to every little thing he says. I've been married a long time and have learned that men say a lot of "stuff" that doesn't mean that much to them. 90% IMO is about their actions, do they ask you out, openly show they care, call you often, etc.
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I agree. :yep:

I know that you work together, so asking you out/going out might be difficult, but I don't consider anything as "actively pursuing" until the person actually asks me out or takes me out.

That's nice that he's complimenting you and I hope he continues. Until he does more though, I don't think you need to be stressing about what he's saying and the meaning about it. Right now, this just seems to be a friendly flirtation going on.
 
Don't ask what he meant by that.

If it was me, and I always told my friends "I'm looking for my Barack," and someone shows me a pic of Barack, I might say "I'm looking for a Barack," because the surprise of the pic just took me out of the moment for a second.

It says nothing about you and how he feels about you, imo.

He has good taste in women and seems to like you, so...

Wait until at least you are on a date before overanalyzing him.

Or if you *must* know, casually bring up what *you* like and admire about her, and see if he takes that bait. 9 times out of 10, it's her character and class and demeanor that men are drawn to, IMO. Not a cookie-cutter image of her.
 
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