He Stood Me Up....Need Advice

[janiebaby]

I recently met this guy and he took my number and called me and we saw each other briefly the same night and talked. I called him yesterday morning and asked him if he wanted to hang out that night. He said yeah and suggested 8pm. 8pm rolls around and I don't hear from him. I call him at 8:20 and he doesn't pick up. He calls around 9:30 and this time I didn't pick up the phone.

Here's the thing though....not only does he not leave a msg but he doesn't call back to try and reach me. So I'm ready to write him off and trust me I won't be calling him at all. Since he is a guy and quite possibly thinks he has done nothing wrong. What should I say if he approaces me in person? He sees me around alot.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I wouldn't say anything about the incident. Just say hi if you see him and keep going.

Sent from my HTC Evo

 

[janiebaby]

This is why I don't initiate dates. He should have been the one to call you and set up a date. If you chase him then he feels like he's already got you and doesn't have to put in any effort. Men like the chase.

I agree one complaint that I get alot is that I don't seem interested in people I date. I
thought I'd try something new this time. The 1st time he stopped me was in April or May and he's been "chasing" me everytime he sees me. When I talked to him finally on Thu he kept asking when we could go out. Instead of going out I told him I'd meet with him briefly. He then asked me again about going out. Since he actually said on the phone that he was interested in me I thought I'd show my interest in him as well.

 

[FelaShrine]

This is why I don't initiate dates. He should have been the one to call you and set up a date. If you chase him then he feels like he's already got you and doesn't have to put in any effort. Men like the chase.

Exactly. I frowned when I saw that you were the one to call the next day

after seeing him the day before, you should have left it at that and have him doing the contacts/dates.

 

[janiebaby]

 

[ms.mimi]

Looks like you dodged a bullet Missy
I would leave it at Hi and Bye only if he speaks 1st. If he tries to explain tell him not worry about it, then smile and bounce, quickly. (Never let them see ya sweat)

 

[TayMac]

I agree with just saying "hello" and keep going about your business. I feel certain he will give you some lame excuse at some point...so tell him simply that he had his chance and blew it.

 

[gabulldawg]

I would say move on. If you see him be cordial and kim.

 

[blah54]

I personally think you should wait til he call you and explain his situation just to see what he says then you decide if its worth the pissed off coments you wanted to really say. Thats what I do when my stupid BF wants to act up im like let me hear his excuse before i really give him a piece of my mind in my past i was always jumping into conclusions and its how i work on that and trust its better that way cause you can use that against them lolz

 

[melisandre]

I would just delete his number and forget about him. He's not interested enough -- he didn't take the initiative to step up a date and didn't even bother to come up with an excuse as to why he stood you up (no message or anything). He doesn't care.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

If he was that interested he would have found a way to call you back instead of letting you wait. The only exceptions in my book are hospitalization or mandatory overtime at work. You do not want to get involved with someone who does not value your time or have the decency to make you feel important - if he had a viable excuse he would have left a voice mail.

I would not bring up the fact that he never called back or anything. I'd be very cordial, speak but keep it brief, and move on. If he asks you out again, just tell him you have other plans...indefinitely.

 

[Urban]

IA with everyone. What he did was rude. If he was really interested, he would've called back, left voicemail, texted etc. He obviously doesn't appreciate that you could've been doing anything else, but you put aside time to spend with him.

I'd be cordial if he approached me, but decline any other attempts to set up a date or talk any further. Just hi, how are you, bye!

 

[HanaKuroi]

I personally think you should wait til he call you and explain his situation just to see what he says then you decide if its worth the pissed off coments you wanted to really say. Thats what I do when my stupid BF wants to act up im like let me hear his excuse before i really give him a piece of my mind in my past i was always jumping into conclusions and its how i work on that and trust its better that way cause you can use that against them lolz

No she shouldn't. You are comparing your relationship with your boyfriend. This doesn't apply in the situation.

 

[BonBon]

I think I would have waited for him to set the meeting.

HOWEVER. I don't believe a man (or woman) standing someone up is to do with that. Its more a part of someone's character. A gentleman cant immediately stop being a gentleman in one second flat, even through change of heart. Unless he was never one at all that is. I don't know any men who would do that in that situation. Those guys who look for any opportunity to take the piss are the ones to avoid and I don't believe OP is to blame. I've known some bffs have guys flip behaviour in this way as soon as the woman is definitely there to stay, even after months, or years of chase.

Personally I'd just just be cordial. Nice but icey =D

 

[ThickHair]

I recently met this guy and he took my number and called me and we saw each other briefly the same night and talked. I called him yesterday morning and asked him if he wanted to hang out that night. He said yeah and suggested 8pm. 8pm rolls around and I don't hear from him. I call him at 8:20 and he doesn't pick up. He calls around 9:30 and this time I didn't pick up the phone.

It doesn't sound like a date was actually made to me. Let's hang out to me is if I have some time on my hands, I might breeze through around 8p.

To me, a specific time, location and what we are doing. "Hang out" what is that? Then again, at my age I don't do the "Hang out" stuff with guys any more. We either have a date or we don't.

 

[janiebaby]

It doesn't sound like a date was actually made to me. Let's hang out to me is if I have some time on my hands, I might breeze through around 8p.

To me, a specific time, location and what we are doing. "Hang out" what is that? Then again, at my age I don't do the "Hang out" stuff with guys any more. We either have a date or we don't.

LOL I don't know if I used the words "hang out" or "go out." I say "dating" but I don't think I use the word "date" often.

 

[FelaShrine]

^Have you heard from ol' boy?

 

[janiebaby]

FelaShrine no ma'am....he just wasn't that in to me

 

[FelaShrine]

You'll be alright. lesson learned on how to deal with these dudes