He says I stood him up

[thatscuteright]

You guys sound...interesting. Instead of hoping he will take the lead, tell him thats what you expect. I would be unhappy if I hadnt heard from him for so long. I would doubt his interest in me and likely not take him seriously. But you should have responded to his texts.

I think he forgot about the date. He got there half an hour late it sounds like. Why wait til 730 and then only say "im here"? Are you two dating others as well?

pretty much how I felt. Yes, I know I was dead wrong for not responding to his text or returning his call. I own up to it.

I called him out on his lack of communication earlier and I really didn't feel like bring it up again. This is the year of " Not doing too much, not thinking too much and not talking too much"…lol..
we are not exclusive, still in the "getting to know each other phase"

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Agree with all the posts below. You absolutely did NOt stand him up. Im with you... no communication for FOUR days and not even a text before. When i was dating i would get a call or text asking "if we're still on for so so and so date" cos aint no way i would get dressed and go to the restaurant if i dont hear from the guy.

I guess, but I never heard from him from Tuesday-Saturday, no hello, how are you doing, how is your week going? Nothing.
And then on Saturday not even an " I am on my way". There was just no communication on his part at all after we agreed to meet.

I would have assumed the date was off if I hadn't heard a peep from him since Tuesday. No hello, how ya doing, looking forward to seeing you, nothing? Really? Nothing on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday .... Until after you texted. Humph! So that's his bad. But I think that after you texted him, which I think you shouldn't have done, then you should have replied to his texts. Honestly I think he only showed up because of your text. But I could be wrong. I couldn't date someone who could go days without a hello.

Let's take the tentative piece out of it.

A man asks you on date 4 days in advance. He doesn't communicate with you during those four days. Not even the day of the date. Would people really show up at the location? I know I wouldn't.

No communication, no final confirmation, no date.

Even with my friends I'm not showing up anywhere unless it's confirmed the day of.

 

[Mortons]

You didn't stand him up. No communication with me ALL WEEK to confirm means that you are no longer interested, and I wont be showing up for a tentative date. I'm not sure where they do that at.

 

[ms-gg]

pretty much how I felt. Yes, I know I was dead wrong for not responding to his text or returning his call. I own up to it.

I called him out on his lack of communication earlier and I really didn't feel like bring it up again. This is the year of " Not doing too much, not thinking too much and not talking too much"…lol..
we are not exclusive, still in the "getting to know each other phase"

Lol, I even get why you didn't answer...he didn't respond to you immediately, hasn't hit you up in days...and all of a sudden he pops up at the restaurant like I'm here!

I would have been a little bit passed annoyed....

But if you all are willing to put it behind you and move forward then I say go for it...

 

[Fine 4s]

People don't confirm because they don't really want to do said activity or are luke warm about it. It gives the non confirmer an out.

 

[lux10023]

honestly from the no communication I wouldn't even have met with him--im the prize keep your eye on it--aint no one that busy

41 yrs old summa loser..nexttt!!!

You didn't stand him up. No communication with me ALL WEEK to confirm means that you are no longer interested, and I wont be showing up for a tentative date. I'm not sure where they do that at.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I think you're both at fault. And to me, it sounds like you had several expectations that he couldn't know about if y'all only knew each other a month. Besides the missed date, would you still be interested in him? If not, delete his number and KIM.

 

[Lilmama1011]

even if he didn't hit you up during the week, yal scheduled a meet up, no excuses you did stand him up. he probably didn't hit you up because he was getting ready for the meetup with you and was excited so he thought he will conserve his words to have convo when you meet

 

[AnjelLuvs]

^^^Last two comments... major side eye... MAJOR... Lol

Like why would you still meet up wit someone that doesnt take time out to communicate with you, I could see if 1-2 days lapse in time, but 4 days, nah bruh...

 

[lux10023]

ditto some ppl you just can't take rlp advice from

^^^Last two comments... major side eye... MAJOR... Lol

Like why would you still meet up wit someone that doesnt take time out to communicate with you, I could see if a 1/2 days lapse in time, but 4 days, nah bruh...

 

[oneastrocurlie]

even if he didn't hit you up during the week, yal scheduled a meet up, no excuses you did stand him up. he probably didn't hit you up because he was getting ready for the meetup with you and was excited so he thought he will conserve his words to have convo when you meet

Excitement is no excuse for being 30 minutes late for a date with no type of heads up to say your running late.

She could've actually been waiting on him, called it quits at 715 and by 730 been chillin on the couch just as she was. He wouldn't have known the difference. Cause his loser self doesn't know how to pick up the phone.

Ok... He could not be a loser but still lol.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'm guessing his other plans fell through and he decided to contact you as a backup plan.
You did not stand him up. There was no date set, just tentative plans. Not to mention, did he really expect you to wait around for 30 minutes at a restaurant?

You teach people how to treat you. He now knows he should confirm plans in advance and not be 30 minutes late.

 

[Lilmama1011]

ditto some ppl you just can't take rlp advice from

and some people aren't realistic and think everyone will say the same thing as the majority. i don't try to conform i say what i really think should be done ^^^^ if you don't agree that's ok, say what you want and keep it moving

 

[Mortons]

even if he didn't hit you up during the week, yal scheduled a meet up, no excuses you did stand him up. he probably didn't hit you up because he was getting ready for the meetup with you and was excited so he thought he will conserve his words to have convo when you meet

Words are like energy? They need to be conserved and stored up, less they run out?

 

[PeaceFlow]

.................

 

[PeaceFlow]

Oh and it sounds like he was late to the date also if he didn't text you back at the time you were supposed to be there and replied at 7.30 lol.


OOOHHH. I get it now. You text him at 7pm asking him if the date is still on. He doesn't reply for 30 mins. The restaurant is 35 mins from his house.... Now I'm wondering if he forgot altogether. Why wouldn't he text back if he was waiting at the correct time.

I always text people "I am here" when I'm late and think someone is waiting inside.

Don't mind me I'm so bored and my mind is running away. Thats not standing up. I think he's just salty that he came out of his house for nothing.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hmmm.....this is a tricky one.... erplexed

On one hand I feel like he COULD have been more of a gentleman and at least TEXTED you a "hey how are you doing? Can't wait for Saturday!" sometime during the week...or at least on FRIDAY. Hello???


BUTTTTT....at the same time, I also feel that the relationship is so NEW...that maybe he didn't really owe you TOO much since you made the stipulation on the weather, etc. Also, you didn't respond back to his text/phone calls. erplexed


So...IDK OP.... I can sort of see BOTH sides here.


In all honesty, it may be that you're dating a man that might not match up with YOUR "love language" You might desire a LOT of communication and contact from a man that you're dating, and maybe he's just either NOT that type of man, or...he's still dating other people (which, is somewhat understandable at this point since the two of you are still "NEW"). If one thing is sure, you definitely taught him to be more "firm" with his plans in the future! "Rules Girl"

Bottom line: I would give him another chance, since it seems like this last mishap was mainly miscommunication, but if after one last chance you feel that his communication levels are not up to YOUR standards (forget what other people say), then I would definitely send him packing, because I don't think you would happy with a guy like that in the long run... He's not living up to your standards and expectations in what you expect from a man.

 

[FemmeCreole]

Communication works both ways. Both parties handled this poorly.

 

[myhairgrowstoo]

Delete……………..

I don't know what the message said, but based on the comment to it and your reply I think I would've agreed.

 

[Lilmama1011]

Words are like energy? They need to be conserved and stored up, less they run out?

some people do feel that way but that's not what i meant. he wanted to have something to talk about, not talk all week and then have nothing to say when they meet up

 

[GeorginaSparks]

ditto some ppl you just can't take rlp advice from

Words are like energy? They need to be conserved and stored up, less they run out?

Right lol

some people do feel that way but that's not what i meant. he wanted to have something to talk about, not talk all week and then have nothing to say when they meet up

...what? is he vapid? how old is anyone with that type of mentality? 12? erplexed

 

[thatscuteright]

I called him, we talked, he apologized, I apologized.
We laughed about it and we set up another date.

 

[Mortons]

^^I bet he will text stalk that arse this time the whole time you are getting ready

 

[thatscuteright]

^^I bet he will text stalk that arse this time the whole time you are getting ready

Delete………………….

 

[LiftedUp]

He should've called and confirm he's a guy and a lot of them a very literal. Yes I go to dinner with you once the weather permits can mean, look out window, weather is fine, date is still on.

If you text at 7, was supposed to meet at 7:30 and he lives 35mins away then he would've been driving and therefore wouldn't have been able to check the text.

Also it was mean not to answer his text at 7:30 when you knew he was sitting there alone waiting on you.

 

[thatscuteright]

He should've called and confirm he's a guy and a lot of them a very literal. Yes I go to dinner with you once the weather permits can mean, look out window, weather is fine, date is still on.

If you text at 7, was supposed to meet at 7:30 and he lives 35mins away then he would've been driving and therefore wouldn't have been able to check the text.

Also it was mean not to answer his text at 7:30 when you knew he was sitting there alone waiting on you.

Delete……………….

 

[HanaKuroi]

This is what happens when folks act like they can't talk on the phone. Stop texting all the darn time. Texting only is stupid. I talk and text the same people. You can't pick up on a person's tone through a text.

Dang, if I was going on a date I would have talked to the person over the phone, forget about not texting for days. This isn't a business appointment.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[Glamorous_chic]

This is what happens when folks act like they can't talk on the phone. Stop texting all the darn time. Texting only is stupid. I talk and text the same people. You can't pick up on a person's tone through a text.

Dang, if I was going on a date I would have talked to the person over the phone, forget about not texting for days. This isn't a business appointment.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

i actually agree with this. the texting back and forth, passive aggressiveness, the silent treatment. just pick up the phone and discuss what happened. he was wrong for not confirming i agree. i can say, for someone i'm not really interested in, i probably would've done the same thing. if he calls he calls, if not, oh well whats on tv. however, if this is someone i do have an interest in i probably would've called or texted. it is odd he didnt text or call till 730, b/c by then you could've been waiting around and left by then. i have gone and left someone who was late and told them exactly why. but this was someone i was just filling time with, i wasnt really interested. this sitution would give me the :-/ face about him in the future.

 

[HanaKuroi]

I think he was probably early for the date. He was probably trying not to appear too eager and didn't expect her not to be on her way. He was probably texting from the restaurant parking lot.

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y

 

[hopeful]

He should've called and confirm he's a guy and a lot of them a very literal. Yes I go to dinner with you once the weather permits can mean, look out window, weather is fine, date is still on. If you text at 7, was supposed to meet at 7:30 and he lives 35mins away then he would've been driving and therefore wouldn't have been able to check the text. Also it was mean not to answer his text at 7:30 when you knew he was sitting there alone waiting on you.

LiftedUp
They were supposed to meet at 7. She texted at 7. So he should not have been driving. Should have been able to respond right away.