He never, ever compliments me. What does this mean? *vent*

[Serenity_Peace]

O.K., I know that I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, but all my life I've had men [and women] tell me that they think I am. Please don't mistake this for being shallow. I am far from it. But no woman can tell me that she doesn't care if her man never compliments her on how well she is put together.

We are on a hair care forum and put a lot of hard work into our outer appearance: our hair; our make-up; fashion sense; exercise and overall health.

Many of us are successful women who have hearts of gold. Our personalities draw people in. Our positive energy makes them want to be around us always.

I know that I have all these things going for me. We all do. But it's important that when I put effort into doing my hair, making sure my make-up is on point, dressing nice, etc. that my man appreciates that.

This guy that I'm seeing NEVER, EVER tells me that he thinks I'm attractive. He never compliments me when I dress up for our dates. I know that I look good for myself, but he has never said that he appreciates the work that I put in. When we go out, I'd be working a nice skirt and blouse while he's in a shirt and jeans. And while he looks good, he's so casual.

Is there something wrong with this guy? I've never heard of a man who doesn't compliment a his woman for how she looks.

 

[Makenzie]

That would bother me as well. How are the other aspects of your relationship? Does he show you that he is appreciative of what you do? He may not be a verbal kind of guy.

 

[Bunny77]

I'd say it means you're dating the wrong dude.

I dealt with someone like this. And the thing is, he was a really nice person deep down and still is. I confronted him about it too and he said that he always thinks that I look nice, but he doesn't know why he can't come out and say it.

The more I got to know him (he remains a friend, but a relationship won't work), I realized that there was some emotional block going on in his head. Which sucks, but I decided not to stick around to figure it out... that was a deal-breaker for me.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

He said that it takes a long time to "warm up" when I asked him about this. He may in fact just not be expressive or verbal. But we've been dating for nearly 7 months and he has never, ever said to me that he thinks I look nice. It bothers me.

There's another guy who is in love with me. That's a long story. I don't feel the same way about him. But he's telling me every single day that he thinks I'm gorgeous. He always notices when I am wearing a new outfit or that my make-up is nicely done. He's always complimenting me on my hair and how it has grown. (Mind you, he's a lilly white, all-American guy.) Sadly because I don't feel that same for him, our relationship has gone nowhere. But I do appreciate the fact that he at least notices how well I try and take care of myself.

 

[Bunny77]

He said that it takes a long time to "warm up" when I asked him about this. He may in fact just not be expressive or verbal. But we've been dating for nearly 7 months and he has never, ever said to me that he thinks I look nice. It bothers me.

There's another guy who is in love with me. That's a long story. I don't feel the same way about him. But he's telling me every single day that he thinks I'm gorgeous. He always notices when I am wearing a new outfit or that my make-up is nicely done. He's always complimenting me on my hair and how it has grown. (Mind you, he's a lilly white, all-American guy.) Sadly because I don't feel that same for him, our relationship has gone nowhere. But I do appreciate the fact that he at least notices how well I try and take care of myself.

I'm responding on two threads, lol.

Do you not like this other guy because... he's a Caucasoid?

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I'd say it means you're dating the wrong dude.

I dealt with someone like this. And the thing is, he was a really nice person deep down and still is. I confronted him about it too and he said that he always thinks that I look nice, but he doesn't know why he can't come out and say it.

The more I got to know him (he remains a friend, but a relationship won't work), I realized that there was some emotional block going on in his head. Which sucks, but I decided not to stick around to figure it out... that was a deal-breaker for me.

I think you're right. I may not be dating a guy who is emotionally available. The dude is close to 41 years old. He's great looking. Is a successful writer. He does have family values and good role models: his parents are still together and his 3 other brothers are all married with children. He tells me that he wants to get married and have children; that's his ultimate goal.

I get the sense that he's working on himself because he's all into "The Secret" and LOA. But he falls flat on personality. We have an o.k. time when we hang out: sometimes very fun and crazy, other times dull because he seems so closed-off. It does shock me that every once in awhile, he will grab me or hold my hand in public, but I've learned that I cannot force him. In other words, I cannot offer to hold his hand; I have to let him initiate. It bugs me because I'm the kind of woman who absolutely needs affection. I need affection, intimacy and passion much more than sex. Right now I'm just confused about this guy. I'm not really sure what he wants from me. He's so cold and closed off, devoid of expression and stoic at times. But that just may be who he is and I'll just have to either deal with it or let him go.

On a positive note, I'm being proactive. Getting out there and doing things, joining organizations and groups of interest. Putting myself out there to meet someone. I think this guy is just "for the meantime," not "forever." I could be wrong. Maybe things will change as he "warms up," but I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket, that's for sure.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I'm responding on two threads, lol.

Do you not like this other guy because... he's a Caucasoid?

LOL!! No. I've dated Caucasoids before!! I'm just not in love with him. Trust me. I've tried to force my feelings now for over 3 years and I get nothing but more grief and guilt. Here it is: this guy is a great catch. He's all the things that any woman would want. Everything is in place. But my feelings just aren't there. We hang out. My heart is open, but nothing is there. It makes me very sad because I could be losing a great friend in the process. I don't think he wants to be friends if he can't have me. It's going to end in heartbreak. A very long story.

 

[Bunny77]

I think you're right. I may not be dating a guy who is emotionally available. The dude is close to 41 years old. He's great looking. Is a successful writer. He does have family values and good role models: his parents are still together and his 3 other brothers are all married with children. He tells me that he wants to get married and have children; that's his ultimate goal.

I get the sense that he's working on himself because he's all into "The Secret" and LOA. But he falls flat on personality. We have an o.k. time when we hang out: sometimes very fun and crazy, other times dull because he seems so closed-off. It does shock me that every once in awhile, he will grab me or hold my hand in public, but I've learned that I cannot force him. In other words, I cannot offer to hold his hand; I have to let him initiate. It bugs me because I'm the kind of woman who absolutely needs affection. I need affection, intimacy and passion much more than sex. Right now I'm just confused about this guy. I'm not really sure what he wants from me. He's so cold and closed off, devoid of expression and stoic at times. But that just may be who he is and I'll just have to either deal with it or let him go.

On a positive note, I'm being proactive. Getting out there and doing things, joining organizations and groups of interest. Putting myself out there to meet someone. I think this guy is just "for the meantime," not "forever." I could be wrong. Maybe things will change as he "warms up," but I'm not putting my eggs all in one basket, that's for sure.

I'm definitely glad you're getting out there and not putting all your eggs in one basket! Be careful about those "for the meantime" things though... with the guy I mentioned in my thread, he kinda filled a role as a companion that I could take to events, spend time with on the holidays so I wouldn't be alone, etc. And although I KNEW he wasn't the right one and I was looking elsewhere, I really think that just his presence in my life blocked other, better men from coming in. It helped that I moved away, which pretty much ended whatever semblance of a relationship we had, but whenever I go back to Florida to visit or for work, he always wants to spend a lot of time together. I JUST last year told him that that wasn't possible, that I will no longer give my time and attention to a man who has no serious intentions toward me.

He was stunned, but he understood.

He is also 41, good looking (dude is basketball player height too), has a great job and a good family. He says he wants marriage and family. His mom and dad LOVE me (they hosted me when I went out to San Diego -- without HIM), but even they realize that he is a lost cause!!!

 

[Bunny77]

LOL!! No. I've dated Caucasoids before!! I'm just not in love with him. Trust me. I've tried to force my feelings now for over 3 years and I get nothing but more grief and guilt. Here it is: this guy is a great catch. He's all the things that any woman would want. Everything is in place. But my feelings just aren't there. We hang out. My heart is open, but nothing is there. It makes me very sad because I could be losing a great friend in the process. I don't think he wants to be friends if he can't have me. It's going to end in heartbreak. A very long story.

I gotcha.

I'll take your word for it, since you're in the situation and you know better than anyone!

Definitely keep the Meetup stuff going and meet some new people... it's good to just make a completely clean break from all of these folks -- Mr. Unavailable and Mr. Nice Guy!

 

[tocktick]

It seems like you've already discussed the issue with him. However, if he isn't actively working to sort out his problems, then I don't see what future you really have. This issue will always irk you and I bet 5 months from now it will upset you even more. Almost a year together and not one compliment erplexed. If he was really intent on working on that issue, I think he would have said a few by now even if it's difficult.

I'm quite a detached person, so I understand being a little unemotional being in his nature. However, even I am able to give a genuine compliment, show love etc when the opportunity arises. I put my own feelings aside and try to make someone feel good by recognising that I appreciate what they've done. It's about being selfless. I think that's something you do or work on achieving when you want someone around you.

 

[envybeauty]

Studies have shown that a man who is 40+ and never married is less likely to ever marry than a divorced man under 40 who wants to remarry. That said "unmarried 41 y-o" was a warning sign. Cut your losses from now.

If you are hot now and you get silence, it will only get worse when you are 60 and your hair is thinning, wrinkles start forming, hair is greying....bc he really won't have shyte to say then.

KIM

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I'm definitely glad you're getting out there and not putting all your eggs in one basket! Be careful about those "for the meantime" things though... with the guy I mentioned in my thread, he kinda filled a role as a companion that I could take to events, spend time with on the holidays so I wouldn't be alone, etc. And although I KNEW he wasn't the right one and I was looking elsewhere, I really think that just his presence in my life blocked other, better men from coming in. It helped that I moved away, which pretty much ended whatever semblance of a relationship we had, but whenever I go back to Florida to visit or for work, he always wants to spend a lot of time together. I JUST last year told him that that wasn't possible, that I will no longer give my time and attention to a man who has no serious intentions toward me.

He was stunned, but he understood.

He is also 41, good looking (dude is basketball player height too), has a great job and a good family. He says he wants marriage and family. His mom and dad LOVE me (they hosted me when I went out to San Diego -- without HIM), but even they realize that he is a lost cause!!!

I needed to hear this. Seriously! I can't continue to rationalize why I stay with this guy. I think I'm doing just that. Even though I KNOW that he's not for me, I continue to hang out with him so that I won't feel lonely or guilty. And fills that void, but it's not lasting fulfillment. I fully understand that. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately, and I sent him an affectionate text message letting him know that I was thinking of him. I got nothing. He called but he didn't respond to my text specifically. He's just not verbal. Even when I wanted to break it off and wanted to talk to him about why I was breaking it off, he changed the subject and avoided that conversation. But I NEED to have it with him and break it off. I know that I must do so. If a man is really into a woman, he doesn't leave her guessing and confused most of the time. I got my answer. I just need to do what I've been trying to do for months but without courage: BREAK IT OFF. And break it off FOR GOOD!!!!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

It seems like you've already discussed the issue with him. However, if he isn't actively working to sort out his problems, then I don't see what future you really have. This issue will always irk you and I bet 5 months from now it will upset you even more. Almost a year together and not one compliment erplexed. If he was really intent on working on that issue, I think he would have said a few by now even if it's difficult.

I'm quite a detached person, so I understand being a little unemotional being in his nature. However, even I am able to give a genuine compliments, showing love etc when the opportunity arises. I put my own feelings aside and try to make someone feel good by recognising that I appreciate what they've done. It's about being selfless. I think that's something you do or work on achieving when you want someone around you.

HOLL UP...JUST HOLL UP HERE...

I FREAKIN' READ HIS BOOK!!!

I just realized this, too! I go out of my way to freaking compliment the guy on his writing skills; to congratulate him for publishing his book. For all his accomplishments and future goals. And I get NOTHING in return. He didn't even thank me for reading his book; he didn't even appreciate the fact that I took the time to read his stinking book and make comments or suggestions. I pay him compliments all the time, telling him that I think he's cute and how proud I am of him for getting his body together and taking care of himself; seeking improvement through self-help and development books and programs.

BUT I GET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN RETURN!! NOTHING!!!!

I just realized this from reading your post.

Thank you so very much! Both you and Bunny! Thank you so much!! :blowkiss:

 

[bermudabeauty]

I too experienced this. I once dated a guy who never wanted to compliment me. It turned out he was just insecure about himself. Since I held my head high and always walked with confidence about myself. He also thought I had a big head and didn't want to pump my head up. Whatever. I didnt' need him to tell me I looked good, was accomplished, or did this or that well. As Katt Williams said... "its call self esteem ******" LOL. Keep doing your thing OP. You don't need any man to tell you how wonderful you are!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Studies have shown that a man who is 40+ and never married is less likely to ever marry than a divorced man under 40 who wants to remarry. That said "unmarried 41 y-o" was a warning sign. Cut your losses from now.

If you are hot now and you get silence, it will only get worse when you are 60 and your hair is thinning, wrinkles start forming, hair is greying....bc he really won't have shyte to say then.

KIM

Chile, please! I already see wrinkles forming!!

Yeah, no one understands why this guy--successful, attractive, educated--is still single. All his brothers are married with children. His parents are married for over 50 years. There is something wrong with this dude. Very wrong. My friends, both male and female, tell me to hang in there; this guy is trying, they say. I'm not sure. I think something is wrong with him...

 

[Blessed_Angel]

He said that it takes a long time to "warm up" when I asked him about this. He may in fact just not be expressive or verbal. But we've been dating for nearly 7 months and he has never, ever said to me that he thinks I look nice. It bothers me.

There's another guy who is in love with me. That's a long story. I don't feel the same way about him. But he's telling me every single day that he thinks I'm gorgeous. He always notices when I am wearing a new outfit or that my make-up is nicely done. He's always complimenting me on my hair and how it has grown. (Mind you, he's a lilly white, all-American guy.) Sadly because I don't feel that same for him, our relationship has gone nowhere. But I do appreciate the fact that he at least notices how well I try and take care of myself.

SP, listen to your heart. You know what you want, and you're not gonna get it from this guy.

DH can be a pretty quiet guy at times, but even early in our relationship he would compliment and he's not really an affectionate guy. He still compliments me too.

Just keep looking for the right guy. You seem too outgoing to be with a guy who's fun sometimes. You need fun all the time. Besides, if he can't compliment you on you looking good, what else can he not verbally express to you? I want a man to open up to me; and you know you do too.

All the best to you.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

HOLL UP...JUST HOLL UP HERE...

I FREAKIN' READ HIS BOOK!!!

I just realized this, too! I go out of my way to freaking compliment the guy on his writing skills; to congratulate him for publishing his book. For all his accomplishments and future goals. And I get NOTHING in return. He didn't even thank me for reading his book; he didn't even appreciate the fact that I took the time to read his stinking book and make comments or suggestions. I pay him compliments all the time, telling him that I think he's cute and how proud I am of him for getting his body together and taking care of himself; seeking improvement to self-help and development books and programs.

BUT I GET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN RETURN!! NOTHING!!!!

I just realized this from reading your post.

Thank you so very much! Both you and Bunny! Thank you so much!! :blowkiss:

Uhm... he can write a book, which requires a clearing or expression of emotion, but he can't give you a compliment or thank you? And he's over 40? You need to move on then.

Also, I have to add:

When you said "I am not the most beautiful woman in the world," you did yourself a disservice. You are the most beautiful woman in the world, or at least one of them. So what if you're not the most beautiful according to "everyone's" standards? Who the f-ck are they? I think most women, attractive or not, should feel they are one of the most beautiful, sexy, attractive, sensual or whatever women in the world... even if it's not fully received by everyone else. Why? Because it's YOU...why the hell wouldn't you put yourself on a pedestal, especially if you know you look good enough.

This doesn't mean you broadcast that sh-t to the world. Just think it, know it and be it.

 

[Bunny77]

I needed to hear this. Seriously! I can't continue to rationalize why I stay with this guy. I think I'm doing just that. Even though I KNOW that he's not for me, I continue to hang out with him so that I won't feel lonely or guilty. And fills that void, but it's not lasting fulfillment. I fully understand that. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately, and I sent him an affectionate text message letting him know that I was thinking of him. I got nothing. He called but he didn't respond to my text specifically. He's just not verbal. Even when I wanted to break it off and wanted to talk to him about why I was breaking it off, he changed the subject and avoided that conversation. But I NEED to have it with him and break it off. I know that I must do so. If a man is really into a woman, he doesn't leave her guessing and confused most of the time. I got my answer. I just need to do what I've been trying to do for months but without courage: BREAK IT OFF. And break it off FOR GOOD!!!!

GREAT!!!

The older I get, the more I realize how similar many of these situations are. It's like, there are five types of dudes in the world or something, and everyone we meet fits that type. Sure, change a few details, but overall, the situations are the same.

You've definitely put a LOT into this going nowhere situation... especially since I know that you want to be married, you can't fully put your attention on dating others if this dude is taking up space (physical and emotional).

Plus, I think someone else said this in a different thread, but I have taken this line to heart.

Penis repels other penis...


I used to joke with my friends that the guy in my situation (let's call him Joe), would be SOOO upset when I walked down the aisle with someone else. I'd say, "Ooh, Joe better enjoy me now, because once someone better comes along, I'm out! And Joe's gonna be crying when I invite him to my wedding and he sees I've moved on."

Then I realized that I was joking about this for over four years and uh, I was no close to that wedding than I was when I first decided that Joe wasn't the one. Hmmm....

Joe and I were never sexual either... we were very close, but never slept together. Still, I'm sure that people who saw us out and about and knew how close we were as friends assumed something more... and what man would really make a serious approach to me if he knew I had this friendship with Joe, which they likely assumed was friends with benefits?

Don't do the monkey on a vine thing... you know, swinging on one vine and waiting until the next vine comes to jump. You might just have to fall off the vine and go splat for a minute... it will hurt, but you will find more vine available to you when it's time to climb back up!

 

[tocktick]

HOLL UP...JUST HOLL UP HERE...

I FREAKIN' READ HIS BOOK!!!

I just realized this, too! I go out of my way to freaking compliment the guy on his writing skills; to congratulate him for publishing his book. For all his accomplishments and future goals. And I get NOTHING in return. He didn't even thank me for reading his book; he didn't even appreciate the fact that I took the time to read his stinking book and make comments or suggestions. I pay him compliments all the time, telling him that I think he's cute and how proud I am of him for getting his body together and taking care of himself; seeking improvement to self-help and development books and programs.

BUT I GET ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN RETURN!! NOTHING!!!!

I just realized this from reading your post.

Thank you so very much! Both you and Bunny! Thank you so much!! :blowkiss:

((hugs)) You're welcome. I had a feeling that you were doing your part in complimenting him. Even so, he shouldn't feel forced to them return the "favour". He should want to say you're beautiful, pretty, smart, funny etc without prompting because he admires those qualities about you and that's why you're with him. Instead, he keeps silent. Very selfish, imo (especially since he is not trying).

I think you're making the right decision by cutting your losses now instead of later down the road. This guy says he wants marriage and kids but I don't know how he'll be a successful husband and father whilst being so cold. You said he changed the subject the last time your brought up ending things; I bet you're not the first woman to have attempted to have that conversation with him. He's really just waiting for the woman to be feel ok with his emotional unavailability instead of trying to work through his issues, imo.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

As women we need/crave the man in our life to acknowledge us and tell us that we're appealing in their eyes. It can make you feel like something's wrong with you if he doesn't.

 

[Bunny77]

Studies have shown that a man who is 40+ and never married is less likely to ever marry than a divorced man under 40 who wants to remarry. That said "unmarried 41 y-o" was a warning sign. Cut your losses from now.

If you are hot now and you get silence, it will only get worse when you are 60 and your hair is thinning, wrinkles start forming, hair is greying....bc he really won't have shyte to say then.

KIM

"Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others," by John T. Molloy has a great explanation of this.

I'm dating someone who is 37 right now. That's getting there in Molloy's study (close to serial bachelorhood), but this guy is SO much more affectionate and has been actively looking for a few years for someone to date and marry... so we'll see.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Uhm... he can write a book, which requires a clearing or expression of emotion, but he can't give you a compliment or thank you? And he's over 40? You need to move on then.

Also, I have to add:

When you said "I am not the most beautiful woman in the world," you did yourself a disservice. You are the most beautiful woman in the world, or at least one of them. So what if you're not the most beautiful according to "everyone's" standards? Who the f-ck are they? I think most women, attractive or not, should feel they are one of the most beautiful, sexy, attractive, sensual or whatever women in the world... even if it's not fully received by everyone else. Why? Because it's YOU...why the hell wouldn't you put yourself on a pedestal, especially if you know you look good enough.

This doesn't mean you broadcast that sh-t to the world. Just think it, know it and be it.

Let the church say AMEN!!!

I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, DESIRABLE, SEXIEST, SMARTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!

Yes, it's baffling that he can fully express himself in a book. I was shocked by how emotionally open his main characters were in the novel. Why couldn't he express that with me?

I fully get it!!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

"Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others," by John T. Molloy has a great explanation of this.

I'm dating someone who is 37 right now. That's getting there in Molloy's study (close to serial bachelorhood), but this guy is SO much more affectionate and has been actively looking for a few years for someone to date and marry... so we'll see.

Good look with this. I'll be praying for you and hoping that this relationship works out.

 

[mscocoface]

SP you have warning signs blaring girl all up close a personal. You don't warm up with feelings and expressions of affection they are either there or they are not.

I have a friend who married someone similar to this and they have been married for over 20 years and she still calls me and complains and cries when it has been a while he has noticed her. She so craves that from her husband and she had told him over, and over and over and over and still it is a problem.

You don't want to go that route, because what you see now and he is 41 is what he will be if you say I Do.

You deserve those things that will help you to be a wonderful, caring, vivacious wife. If someone showing you affection and telling you how beautiful you are then don't deny that as one of your love languages.

As for the other guy if you think you can't be in love with him then be careful that you are not treating him like the guy you are dating is treating you. Let him go and find someone who will be what he needs.

You deserve nothing less.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Let the church say AMEN!!!

I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, DESIRABLE, SEXIEST, SMARTEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD!!

Yes, it's baffling that he can fully express himself in a book. I was shocked by how emotionally open his main characters were in the novel. Why couldn't he express that with me?

I fully get it!!

What's his book about? Is it good? This isn't Eric Jerome Dickey is it? I love his books.

"Why Men Marry Some Women And Not Others," by John T. Molloy has a great explanation of this.

I'm dating someone who is 37 right now. That's getting there in Molloy's study (close to serial bachelorhood), but this guy is SO much more affectionate and has been actively looking for a few years for someone to date and marry... so we'll see.

Even though I'm married, and "stumbled" upon the right guy, I like reading these books, LMAO.

 

[Farida]

Something is really wrong.

Never marry a man who doesn't think you are HOTT! <<< best advice ever.

I can roll out of bed, my hair looking like the "only in america" dude, with wrinkly clothes, morning breath, morning gunk in my eyes, and DH will still be like "man your body's awesome!" lol

Women need affirmation, and so do men. I would hate to be with a man who has to be coerced and nagged into it.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I too experienced this. I once dated a guy who never wanted to compliment me. It turned out he was just insecure about himself. Since I held my head high and always walked with confidence about myself.

You may be on to something. He has lamented the fact that he's not married but his brothers are. Then, I wondered if he even has friends. And then, he has talked down on himself and I ask him why. Of all of my accomplishments, the one that has him most curious is my doctorate. He has asked me the same question many times: how long did it take to finish my Ph.D. I've talked to him about the process several times. He seems to be fixated on that. Because he may not feel good about himself and his accomplishments, he may not be able to acknowledge mine. I have noticed this about him. His fixation on my doctorate in particular.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

((hugs)) You're welcome. I had a feeling that you were doing your part in complimenting him. Even so, he shouldn't feel forced to them return the "favour". He should want to say you're beautiful, pretty, smart, funny etc without prompting because he admires those qualities about you and that's why you're with him. Instead, he keeps silent. Very selfish, imo (especially since he is not trying).

I think you're making the right decision by cutting your losses now instead of later down the road. This guy says he wants marriage and kids but I don't know how he'll be a successful husband and father whilst being so cold. You said he changed the subject the last time your brought up ending things; I bet you're not the first woman to have attempted to have that conversation with him. He's really just waiting for the woman to be feel ok with his emotional unavailability instead of trying to work through his issues, imo.

It seems to me that he's one of these men who wants the relationship without the RESPONSIBILITY that goes along with it. I'm tired of blaming myself, too! I'm always doing that. I accept the mistakes I made with him and take full responsibility. But I refuse to take on others' inadequacies; it's hard enough to hold myself accountable. He probably is trying to find that woman who will accept him for who he is.

Funnily enough, when I tried to have "the break off" conversation with him, he accused ME of not knowing what I wanted. He even suggested that I didn't notice things about him: that he has a Bible on his nightstand and in his car. And that he reads 'The Secret'. He accused ME of not being attuned with him. Nothing could be further from the truth. And yes, for the record I DID notice those things but didn't say anything to him.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

What's his book about? Is it good? This isn't Eric Jerome Dickey is it? I love his books.[/COLOR]

LOL!!! Please! He wishes! He's not *that* good of a writer...

 

[Bunny77]

It seems to me that he's one of these men who wants the relationship without the RESPONSIBILITY that goes along with it. I'm tired of blaming myself, too! I'm always doing that. I accept the mistakes I made with him and take full responsibility. But I refuse to take on others' inadequacies; it's hard enough to hold myself accountable. He probably is trying to find that woman who will accept him for who he is.

Funnily enough, when I tried to have "the break off" conversation with him, he accused ME of not knowing what I wanted. He even suggested that I didn't notice things about him: that he has a Bible on his nightstand and in his car. And that he reads 'The Secret'. He accused ME of not being attuned with him. Nothing could be further from the truth. And yes, for the record I DID notice those things but didn't say anything to him.

Oh goodness, this is getting worse!

Oooh, so he reads the Bible and the Secret... oooh, big deal. Does he want a cookie?

Also... hate to say it... but when I meet dudes that are big into "self-improvement," usually they're the most mentally f-ed up of them all.