He breaks up with you but he's the one acting salty???

[StarScream35]

My ex broke up with a few months back. He wanted to be friends after the breakup but I said no. An ex is an ex for a reason. So he said he understood and we hugged and said our goodbyes. Fast forward to yesterday. I run into him at Walgreens and I speak to him and he's all salty and acting like he is angry with me. Barely acknowledged me except to hold the door open for me but would not talk at all. I should be the angry one not him. I don't get it! What's up with this?

 

[Aviah]

Maybe he figures that because you said you didn't want to be friends that means you shouldn't speak to one another. At all.

And unless you planned on having a relationship with him of some kind (friend or otherwise) again in future, this shouldn't matter.

 

[Lilmama1011]

He mad because he expected you to be all on his d?%$ after he broke up with you. He is an attention whore that's all

 

[LiftedUp]

He's way to into himself.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

He mad because he expected you to be all on his d?%$ after he broke up with you. He is an attention whore that's all

Or maybe he's just not interested in her at all anymore? I mean she did turn down his offer for friendship. What else is left? Besides acting like strangers .. Which is what he did. I see nothing wrong.

 

[StarScream35]

Maybe he figures that because you said you didn't want to be friends that means you shouldn't speak to one another. At all.

And unless you planned on having a relationship with him of some kind (friend or otherwise) again in future, this shouldn't matter.

To the bolded..........we even said if we saw each other out we would speak. He seemed okay with this. I did have a girlfriend who saw him the next day after he broke up with me. She said he looked angry. I was like........angry about what!!! He was the one who dumped me.

 

[hopeful]

He sounds spoiled. He wanted to break up with you, but still wanted to be in contact with you. And good for you for saying no. Then wants to have an attitude. I wouldn't waste another ounce of energy on him. He's not your man, he's not your friend, so whatever.

 

[Mitre]

He probably wants you guys to be friends with all the extra benefits.

 

[StarScream35]

He sounds spoiled. He wanted to break up with you, but still wanted to be in contact with you. And good for you for saying no. Then wants to have an attitude. I wouldn't waste another ounce of energy on him. He's not your man, he's not your friend, so whatever.

The whole thing is weird to me. Why would you want to keep an ex around? I mean if you can't be in a relationship with me then you don't deserve my company and besides that wouldn't be fair to my future mate.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

The whole thing is weird to me. Why would you want to keep an ex around? I mean if you can't be in a relationship with me then you don't deserve my company and besides that wouldn't be fair to my future mate.

Then why are you upset he gave you the cold shoulder??

 

[BackToMyRoots]

Then why are you upset he gave you the cold shoulder??

There is a difference/long way between acknowledging a person's existence and being best buds. I think it's weird the way he acted. Say hi and keep it moving.

 

[metro_qt]

Then why are you upset he gave you the cold shoulder??

This has happened to me before...I feel that because the man broke up with me, he should be living his life, happy. He has no reason to be giving me the cold shoulder, it was his choice! Because of his choice, I made my choice! (Not to be friends)

So what's with the attitude on his part! ( I believe that if I have not done anything intentional to harm someone, there should be no attitude towards me, why can't we be civil if we see each other?)

 

[StarScream35]

Then why are you upset he gave you the cold shoulder??

There are several women who responded to this question and I think they are spot on but in addition, we agreed we would speak if we saw each other.

 

[firecracker]

If you had broke up with him and wanted to remain friends he still probably would have still been full on Saltines. I guess he wanted you all on his nut sack like Lil Mama said or friends w/benefits. LOL Oh well too bad too sad for his salty arse. Next time you run into him try to give him a big ole hug and see if he pushes you away just to piss him off further. LOL

 

[Lucie]

OP, he seems pretty arrogant to me. He ended things and what? Were you supposed to beg and plead and try to seduce him back? I am happy (I mean that politely) he broke up with you. Imagine if you had spent more time as a couple dealing with even more of his negative traits? I can understand how you feel.

 

[StarScream35]

If you had broke up with him and wanted to remain friends he still probably would have still been full on Saltines. I guess he wanted you all on his nut sack like Lil Mama said or friends w/benefits. LOL Oh well too bad too sad for his salty arse. Next time you run into him try to give him a big ole hug and see if he pushes you away just to piss him off further. LOL

LOL! I like the bolded!

 

[StarScream35]

OP, he seems pretty arrogant to me. He ended things and what? Were you supposed to beg and plead and try to seduce him back? I am happy (I mean that politely) he broke up with you. Imagine if you had spent more time as a couple dealing with even more of his negative traits? I can understand how you feel.

He definitely has some narcissistic traits. I suppose since I turned his offer down to be friends he must have really been upset with that even though he pretended like he was cool with it. I think narcissistic people are generally like this.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

This has happened to me before...I feel that because the man broke up with me, he should be living his life, happy. He has no reason to be giving me the cold shoulder, it was his choice! Because of his choice, I made my choice! (Not to be friends)

So what's with the attitude on his part! ( I believe that if I have not done anything intentional to harm someone, there should be no attitude towards me, why can't we be civil if we see each other?)

And your choice led him to his...that's all I'm saying. So you can't be upset for him acing that way either. His choice too.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

OP, he seems pretty arrogant to me. He ended things and what? Were you supposed to beg and plead and try to seduce him back? I am happy (I mean that politely) he broke up with you. Imagine if you had spent more time as a couple dealing with even more of his negative traits? I can understand how you feel.

Why are you all making it seem like he's such a bad person because he broke up with her. It happens :-/ some people aren't meant to be together as a couple.

 

[lux10023]

^^^ **** do you know her ex personallyyy?---
EX is that you posting lolol wtf ?

 

[StarScream35]

^^^ **** do you know her ex personallyyy?---
EX is that you posting lolol wtf ?

Dang...........why all of a sudden you got me feeling on alert. Ex............is that you for real??????

 

[Lucie]

Why are you all making it seem like he's such a bad person because he broke up with her. It happens :-/ some people aren't meant to be together as a couple.

I don't know him/her. I can only go by how she presented her situation and my e-intuition.

If he was a nice person he would NOT be acting like this. It is perfectly okay for people to break up. However, do not act like a spoiled brat because the person you broke up with is at peace and living their life. If you cannot even be cordial in a pharmacy/wherever she was, that speaks volumes about his character. Them not being friends does not mean she cannot greet him.

 

[Fine 4s]

Yeah but when folks are hurt, the ego gets in the way. I wouldn't judge him too harshly. I know we like to support each other but let's be fair and honest.
The flip side is if he's not a nice person, why didn't OP do the breaking up?
I'm not really asking this question for a response but suggesting that we can flip it many ways. It's an unpleasant situation for both and that's that. Nothing in life is going to always be comfortable I guess...

 

[*CherryPie*]

Why is his ego hurt?!? He broke up with her! He basically said that she is not good enough for him. And in life...and on here, we see women NOT breaking up with no good men all the time. So her not breaking up with him doesn't change anything.

Yeah but when folks are hurt, the ego gets in the way. I wouldn't judge him too harshly. I know we like to support each other but let's be fair and honest.
The flip side is if he's not a nice person, why didn't OP do the breaking up?
I'm not really asking this question for a response but suggesting that we can flip it many ways. It's an unpleasant situation for both and that's that. Nothing in life is going to always be comfortable I guess...

 

[Fine 4s]

Why is his ego hurt?!? He broke up with her! He basically said that she is not good enough for him. And in life...and on here, we see women NOT breaking up with no good men all the time. So her not breaking up with him doesn't change anything.

Your ego can be hurt for many irrational reasons. Him breaking up with her doesn't mean that he can't be upset with her decision IMO. I've experienced this on both sides. It happens...

I disagree with your interpretation of how he feels about her b/c I don't think we have enough info to make that assessment.

Again, it wasn't a question to be answered but def. showing the other possible side.

 

[Lucie]

Your ego can be hurt for many irrational reasons. Him breaking up with her doesn't mean that he can't be upset with her decision IMO. I've experienced this on both sides. It happens...

I disagree with your interpretation of how he feels about her b/c I don't think we have enough info to make that assessment.

Again, it wasn't a question to be answered but def. showing the other possible side.

I understand your point BUT he really lost that right to be hurt. He decided to move on and once you decide to do that, you cannot dictate how the other person should feel. If his ego is hurt, he needs to work on that and tame it IMHO.

 

[ladylibra_30]

Tell him to suck it!

 

[Fine 4s]

I understand your point BUT he really lost that right to be hurt. He decided to move on and once you decide to do that, you cannot dictate how the other person should feel. If his ego is hurt, he needs to work on that and tame it IMHO.

I'm not saying what it is in theory but in real life. You may be right but when emotions get in the way and we do crazy stuff well...

I didn't read that he was trying to dictate how SHE should feel, in fact OP feels HE was out of line. So why do we think SHE has the right to react the way she is? If that's what you're saying. ITA agree with this point up thread.

Again, I am not interested in pointing out WHO is right or wrong but rather understanding the source of his reaction instead of judging him. Again, whether he is right in behaving this way or not is not what I'm contributing to this thread.

Regardless of what he has the right to do or not, point is he reacted the way he did and for me, I wouldn't judge him harshly. His reaction is not THAT strange to me *shrug* I'm just extending the brother a lil understanding.

People don't easily 'tame' their emotions come on Lucie. Some people go cold, some people cry, some people get angry and sadly some people kill. It just IS and shoulda coulda wouldas ain't going to change how he CHOSE to react. He has that right.

Jumping on bandwagon:
He probably thought she would jump on the opportunity to stay friends but instead got "nah, I'm straight" you wouldn't be hurt if you got shut down too? Lol

 

[Arcadian]

I get what fine 4's is saying. Its not rational to be mean and hateful if you're the one that broke it off, but people sometimes aren't rational when emotions come into play.

OP, at best, say hi and keep it moving, don't wonder, don't ask, just keep it moving. He's telling you who he is by his actions in more ways than one. He could be mad because you didn't throw yourself at him and asked him to reconsider taking him back, hell you never know.

But he should be put in the avoid pile.

-A

 

[StarScream35]

Ladies thanks for your replies. I guess this will be one that will forever confuse me. I feel like I should be the salty one but I'm not. Sure I was hurt when we broke up because quite frankly I felt the relationship could have worked but one thing my momma always told me......don't ever beg no man to stay with you. If he wanna go then let him go and don't put up no fight..........I live by this. Thank God for Black Mothers!