Have you ever....

[ccd]

made plans with someone and then started to regret it...or not want to go?

Background... I knew this guy from a previous job; never thought anything of him but as time went on other people made comments about him liking me but I didn't believe it or want to believe it.... I was involved with someone at the time and he was also a supervisor that I worked under

fast forward to recently....well he and I are no longer working in the same company but when he left I did reach out and say oh, sorry...blah, blah because he left under some circumstances still don't know why but moving forward...he immediately mentioned how it was ok, things happen for a reason and that now he can ask me out with no issues...this was 8/9 months ago

He still kept in touch but I wasn't eager to start making time for anyone....


In say the last 2 months , we made plans and went out. we have gone out to dinner and another time a movie....It was nice, conversation was great and funny but today I find myself stuck in a place...not sure why,

We made plans to go to some art exhibits and I thought it was fine all week but then just getting errrrr about going...


Has this ever happened to any of you ladies? Change of heart I guess....and why do you think it happens

 

[Sapphire]

I've experienced this with someone new, that I haven't gone out with before. The only time this has happened with someone I'd previously dated was because I wasn't really interested in him. It sounds like this is the case for you and this guy. I say cut your losses, cancel the date, stop wasting his time and yours.

 

[ccd]

I've experienced this with someone new, that I haven't gone out with before. The only time this has happened with someone I'd previously dated was because I wasn't really interested in him. It sounds like this is the case for you and this guy. I say cut your losses, cancel the date, stop wasting his time and yours.

Alrightly! lol So you don't think it's nerves from just not dating much in the last year and a half....

 

[Sapphire]

I could understand being nervous after not dating for awhile and only going out with this guy 1-2 times, but you mentioned that you also used to work with him. If anything you should be nervous from excitement, not nervous and feeling like you don't really want to go on the date, IMO. If you think its just nerves, maybe you should go ahead and go. If you're feeling like this the next time you have a date scheduled with him, it seems to me you're not really interested in him.

 

[ccd]

I could understand being nervous after not dating for awhile and only going out with this guy 1-2 times, but you mentioned that you also used to work with him. If anything you should be nervous from excitement, not nervous and feeling like you don't really want to go on the date, IMO. If you think its just nerves, maybe you should go ahead and go. If you're feeling like this the next time you have a date scheduled with him, it seems to me you're not really interested in him.

Thank you!!!

 

[Sapphire]

You're welcome and good luck with whatever you decide to do!

 

[C@ssandr@]

This was the most cut and dry thread ever, lol

I agree with Sapphire, btw.

 

[ccd]

This was the most cut and dry thread ever, lol

I agree with Sapphire, btw.

Thanks


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[ccd]

In response, it was kinda too late to cancel this date. I went and had a nice time. It was the kind of date that I'd want to be taken to. Art exhibits in Dumbo, NY. and dinner. He wanted to go sit by the water near Brooklyn bridge after but I didn't encourage that.

Part of what makes me a little ill or nervous about going out with this guy is that the more we talk, the more we have in common. Music, art, photography ( what he does and what I use to do), politics and just viewpoints are pretty similar.

He is a nice guy, very respectful but physically not exactly what I was looking for. He's not ugly don't get me wrong, he kinda reminds me of an ex that I was very spiritual,emotionally, intellectually and physically attracted to. Like I was sucked into a vortex when I was with this guy lol. It didn't work out however.

I'm scared to have that happen again
I guess. Anyway. Thats my story. Thanks for your feedback Sapphire.


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[Sapphire]

Glad you had a nice time ccd! He seems like a good guy. Don't let the past experience with your ex hold you back but of course that can be easier said than done.

 

[NappyNelle]

I'm glad you had a nice time too, ccd. I'd love a date like that.

However, I agree with Sapphire; I've only had those trepidation when I was second-guessing my want for involvement. Nice guys can be nice enough, but not the guy for us.

 

[ccd]

Thanks ladies! So, I have to say I'm
at a loss again ( and this may be another indicator) cause he texts me after the date to tell me he has enjoyed spending time with me on our last (his words) "dare I say dates"... Then proceeds to say, "sooo does that mean we are dating or have just gone on some nice dates"

I answered I don't know.... I didn't
want to have to make that distinction... I felt like a "guy".... And wanted to say ...why do we have to blah blah.




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[dreamgurl82]

Sounds like you're just not that into him IMO

ETA- but you feel bad/guilty because he is good on paper