Have you ever woke and realized you wanted to be with someone?

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I dont know if this will last so Im going to tread carefully.... but last night/this morning I feel like I just realized that someone who was in my life was really everything I wanted for a relationship. It was like this huge ephipany. We used to be together in undergrad but I was never really interested in reconnecting even though he has tried numerous times. I ended up putting him through alot because I just wasnt interested.

Anyways, I was talking to him last night and was listening to how he is growing and changing and my growth and change is causing me to see him different. So yea....we have a lot of time, space, and distance between us right now, and I definitely have to pray through it....but thats how I feel at the moment. I woke up...like wow I really love this man and we might be able to make this work.

So yea...I just wanted to share and see if this has happened to anyone else. If so, how did your story turn out?

 

[simplertimes]

I dont know if this will last so Im going to tread carefully.... but last night/this morning I feel like I just realized that someone who was in my life was really everything I wanted for a relationship. It was like this huge ephipany. We used to be together in undergrad but I was never really interested in reconnecting even though he has tried numerous times. I ended up putting him through alot because I just wasnt interested.

Anyways, I was talking to him last night and was listening to how he is growing and changing and my growth and change is causing me to see him different. So yea....we have a lot of time, space, and distance between us right now, and I definitely have to pray through it....but thats how I feel at the moment. I woke up...like wow I really love this man and we might be able to make this work.

So yea...I just wanted to share and see if this has happened to anyone else. If so, how did your story turn out?

I have, but unfortunately by the time I realized this he didn't feel the same

 

[drasgrl]

Can't say that I have. Does he still want to be with you?

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I have, but unfortunately by the time I realized this he didn't feel the same

**Hugs** Im sorry to hear that. Maybe he will come around or God has someone different for you. I was a little nervous that might be the case with him because I thought that he may have been in a relationship but turns out that he is not.

Can't say that I have. Does he still want to be with you?

I think that he does. He has incurred a lot of pain because of my actions so he is a lot more guarded when it comes to me and rightfully so....but he still seems open. I can tell by the way he says certain things that he isnt 100% closed off to the possiblity. I just think it will take time and me showing some consistency. I think we both really love each other and just needed time to grow.

 

[AstroQueen77]

Even if he does want to be with you deep down, he wont trust you until youve been extremely patient with him and show him that you will be there for him no matter what. You dont know the pain of wanting someone who wasnt interested in making it work for you. Its very painful. You really have to prove yourself with this and show him you CAN put his needs first and are willing to. Its the only way...

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

Even if he does want to be with you deep down, he wont trust you until youve been extremely patient with him and show him that you will be there for him no matter what. You dont know the pain of wanting someone who wasnt interested in making it work for you. Its very painful. You really have to prove yourself with this and show him you CAN put his needs first and are willing to. Its the only way...

You are right and I realize this and I think that Im willing to put in the work. Thanks for sharing your perspective, it is really on point to what Im facing.

 

[aribell]

I was reading through old threads and wondered what happened with this...Did it work out?

***

Yes, I have had this experience. I can't really describe what happened, other than that I saw him in a completely different light. Results still pending...

 

[MissYocairis]

Yes. I woke one day and realized that my current SO was who I wanted to be with. It took me 3 years to figure it out. I played him. Strung him along. Disappeared. Ignored him. Benefitted from him as a friend. And, then, one day, I woke up and realized, "this man loves me" and I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer...and I realized, I loved him too. So, I let him know and we've been together every since. It worked out but only, I believe, because he was unique in that he was willing to show me he loved me without condition. He waited patiently. Now, I'm not sure what he did with whom in the interim...but when I let him know I was ready....that was all she wrote and it's been on ever since.

 

[aribell]

Yes. I woke one day and realized that my current SO was who I wanted to be with. It took me 3 years to figure it out. I played him. Strung him along. Disappeared. Ignored him. Benefitted from him as a friend. And, then, one day, I woke up and realized, "this man loves me" and I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer...and I realized, I loved him too. So, I let him know and we've been together every since. It worked out but only, I believe, because he was unique in that he was willing to show me he loved me without condition. He waited patiently. Now, I'm not sure what he did with whom in the interim...but when I let him know I was ready....that was all she wrote and it's been on ever since.

The bolded takes a lot of courage and security that a lot of people don't have...but it makes for a beautiful story.

 

[Farida]

IMO, realizations like these are often heavily romanticized.

 

[aribell]

IMO, realizations like these are often heavily romanticized.

Do you think this has negative consequences?

 

[gn1g]

I have, but unfortunately by the time I realized this he didn't feel the same

That's usually how it goes.

 

[glam-]

Yes. I woke one day and realized that my current SO was who I wanted to be with. It took me 3 years to figure it out. I played him. Strung him along. Disappeared. Ignored him. Benefitted from him as a friend. And, then, one day, I woke up and realized, "this man loves me" and I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer...and I realized, I loved him too. So, I let him know and we've been together every since. It worked out but only, I believe, because he was unique in that he was willing to show me he loved me without condition. He waited patiently. Now, I'm not sure what he did with whom in the interim...but when I let him know I was ready....that was all she wrote and it's been on ever since.

^^I could have written this myself. It is so similar to my situation, except it was 2 yrs and I'm starting to learn little about his relationships in the interim. It all works out I guess- because I wasn't emotionally ready for him then anyway. When I was ready, he was there. I do feel I have to prove myself a little since I was so 'difficult' before- but otherwise, it's a good feeling.

 

[kayte]

yes...the man I married....
first we were very young..but
I had so many issues that had nothing to do with
him ..but he took a lot of the fallout and by the time I realized
how much and what he meant to me it was like falling head over heels
all over again...it's incredible once you really REALLY commit from
the heart to your husband...or SO
but the damage and hurt had already begun its course
with him and we are not together

no not romanticzed at all..some times it has to do with maturity
and self-accountality and that sometimes takes time..to have ..
a revelation about what's at stake in a loving commitment...or love period

mis dos pesos

 

[AstroQueen77]

yes...the man I married....
first we were very young..but
I had so many issues that had nothing to do with
him ..but he took a lot of the fallout and by the time I realized
how much and what he meant to me it was like falling head over heels
all over again...it's incredible once you really REALLY commit from
the heart to your husband...or SO
but the damage and hurt had already begun its course
with him and we are not together

no not romanticzed at all..some times it has to do with maturity
and self-accountality and that sometimes takes time..to have ..
a revelation about what's at stake in a loving commitment...or love period

mis dos pesos

are you saying the hurt you caused him had a hard time going away? why are you not together?

 

[sunshinebeautiful]

I really hope this is my testimony to write on here one day.

I had a romantic experience with a guyfriend that has been into me for the past 10 years. I just never gave him the time of day. I knew he really liked me, I was just stuck on he's not my type and I'm not attracted to him. Oh, and it was long-distance, so I never took it really seriously.

We spent some time together recently. I had never had any inclination to kiss him before that day. I don't know how else to describe how I felt, except that I felt emotionally "safe" with him, like, well, maybe this is a possibility I should explore... And I haven't felt that way about a man in a long, loooooong time.

We're still in the possibility stage. There's some crazy (temporary) stuff going on in both of our lives, PLUS a geographic distance issue. And, our last two trips to see each other got cancelled due to last-minute emergencies popping up.

I've accepted the fact that this *may* not work out, and that's ok, I've put myself out there. So we'll just see what happens is all I'm gonna say.

 

[MissYocairis]

^^I could have written this myself. It is so similar to my situation, except it was 2 yrs and I'm starting to learn little about his relationships in the interim. It all works out I guess- because I wasn't emotionally ready for him then anyway. When I was ready, he was there. I do feel I have to prove myself a little since I was so 'difficult' before- but otherwise, it's a good feeling.

So true! The first year, he admitted to me that he was waiting to see if I'd "go away". Of course, I didn't. But I'm glad he was patient. It is a good feeling.

 

[kayte]

are you saying the hurt you caused him had a hard time going away? why are you not together?

the hurt and confusion coupled with his always being so so patient
I think began to erode.....
I'm not going to hijack the thread or my privacy with specific personal details of my relationship but suffice to answer the question..yes it can happen that you wake up and realize you are fully committed from the head through the heart through ((smiles ))the lower chakra ..all entirely aligned!!! when you questioned this with that person.. and the over sentimental or romanticized notion has more to do with Hollyweird than reality because..some times people do realize genuine caring and commitment as evidenced in the thread ..sometimes too late
but sometimes ..just in time ...to grasp what is at stake and then make the right decison to
nurture it and cherish it

OP..It sounds lovely ..and very very promising

 

[glam-]

So true! The first year, he admitted to me that he was waiting to see if I'd "go away". Of course, I didn't. But I'm glad he was patient. It is a good feeling.

Same here, Smuckie. He has said the same thing to me, but I'm way committed to this now.