Have you ever thought that someone

NOEChic

NOEChic

I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong.
was playing you. Get you all riled up b/c they are not calling or whatnot. You talk to them about it, and then you realize what an idiot you have been?

I know he loves me, he shows it ALL the time. But one time i had not heard from him in like 4 days and i was feeling played and was gettin HOT and burnt up at him. I talked to him about it, he was really busy, but i was up in my feelings.

I love that man!:drunk:
 
if somebody really loves you, no matter whats going on or appears to be going on you will always feel it....people still have their own lives and journeys to experience and not every love is always meant to be physical mate or always in your physical prescence
 
tiara76 said:
if somebody really loves you, no matter whats going on or appears to be going on you will always feel it....people still have their own lives and journeys to experience and not every love is always meant to be physical mate or always in your physical prescence
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I was just having an insecure moment bc he ALWAYS makes time for me and part of me was mad that he didn't make time fr me. the other part was like he handling buiness he loves u lol
 
Nobody is THAT DAMN BUSY where they can't call you or text you for a hot minute over the course of a day or two.

Four days? Garbage.
 
sometimes what one has going on has nothing to do with you, even if they drift away and turn their energy elsewhere, leave... if they loved you even them leaving had nothing to wit not loving you and alot to do with whatever is personal to them....you know when somebody loves you and when they don't...people can be married to someone who they spend every day with and talk to everyday and feel no love from...his energy was very obviously somewhere else for four days....
 
This rule was develop after an ex of mine did that.

Personally, I have a 3 day rule.

If I don't TALK to you or SEE you within 3 days. It's over!!!

If you have time to grab a meal, you have time to contact me. We live in the technological age, after all.

But Opster, I'm glad everything is kosher between you and your boo.
 
LisaLisa1908 said:
Nobody is THAT DAMN BUSY where they can't call you or text you for a hot minute over the course of a day or two.

Four days? Garbage.
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Wholeheartedly agree. I have been in this situation before and was constantly making excuses for him. There came a time when I had to stop making excuses for this behavior and come to the realization that if this person wanted to talk to me they would have called me the first time I left them a message and not left me on the back burner 4 days. Men with true and genuine intentions don't leave you guessing.
 
yes
i hadnt heard fr him in a month , then he calls 'why havent i heard fr you'' cuz you havent called
him " i wanted you to miss me, you missed me didnt you?"
SMDH
 
4 days? I've never gone more than a day without speaking to a man who was my boyfriend at the time. I thought that people in a committed relationship spoke daily?
 
yes! i was part of this. this basically went on for 9 months and i allowed it to. i allowed him to contact me via text or call for all that time thinking and hoping he would finally figure out that i really was into him. i even told him so to speak and he juss didnt respond. i tried alot of things and it didnt even work. I came to the realization that he didnt value me as a potential gf or as even a friend . so yesterday when he decided to text me "hey" after over a month of disappearing from the face of earth i decided to tell him that he is lame and that he should not call or text me anymore and all he said was "lol ok" that really made me realize that he really was not into me and although it hurts and im contemplating it a little im just gonna have to let it go.uggh:spinning:
 
LadyCee, don't "comtemplate it," just let it go. "lol ok"???? Girl you know you can do better and I know you know you deserve better.
 
If you can't find 30 seconds out of your day, for four straight days, to text me so I know that you're alive, please believe an interrogation is coming the moment you decide to check in. Highly suspect.
 
1) he was on r&R from his deployment, he spent sometime with his fam, came to see me, then left to chill with his fam again

2) we talked before hand and I told him to spend time with his family and holla at me when you visit and when you can. i dont want to take time away from your fam.

3) while he was with his family, he also had business to handle, then his brother ended up in the hospital.

4) he did not have a cell phone or access to the internet (i/he did not want to call me from alot of people's cell phones)

Everytime someone does not pick up the phone does not mean they are not thinking of you or they are a bad person. We talk EVERYDAY while he is deployed and he is ARMY. I know people who are Air Force have desk jobs and only call their spouses once or twice a week if that.

He gets up like 3 hrs early JUST to talk to me. That is 3 hrs of sleep he could use for his job.

If I listen to y'all i would end up alone and bitter. Maybe this is why he dont want me to tell our business. I see now lol.
 
I would have thought they lost interest or were up to something if I hadn't heard ANYTHING in four days. If a man loves me I feel that they would want to hear my voice or reach out to me as much as possible. I know I'm worth the time and effort.
 
NOEChic said:
1) he was on r&R from his deployment, he spent sometime with his fam, came to see me, then left to chill with his fam again

2) we talked before hand and I told him to spend time with his family and holla at me when you visit and when you can. i dont want to take time away from your fam.

3) while he was with his family, he also had business to handle, then his brother ended up in the hospital.

4) he did not have a cell phone or access to the internet (i/he did not want to call me from alot of people's cell phones)

Everytime someone does not pick up the phone does not mean they are not thinking of you or they are a bad person. We talk EVERYDAY while he is deployed and he is ARMY. I know people who are Air Force have desk jobs and only call their spouses once or twice a week if that.

He gets up like 3 hrs early JUST to talk to me. That is 3 hrs of sleep he could use for his job.

If I listen to y'all i would end up alone and bitter. Maybe this is why he dont want me to tell our business. I see now lol.
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Chill. Nobody told you to leave your man from what I read. Most just responded to the idea in general obviously not knowing the full details of your relationship.
 
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TayMac said:
Chill. Nobody told you to leave your man from what I read.
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oh im not mad, b/c trust and believe i would not leave him, even if someone on here said that...

i know our relationship, it was just a lapse in judgment on my end. :lachen:
 
NOEChic said:
was playing you. Get you all riled up b/c they are not calling or whatnot. You talk to them about it, and then you realize what an idiot you have been?

I know he loves me, he shows it ALL the time. But one time i had not heard from him in like 4 days and i was feeling played and was gettin HOT and burnt up at him. I talked to him about it, he was really busy, but i was up in my feelings.

I love that man!:drunk:
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It seems like you knew how things were going to be on his R&R, and you encouraged him to "holla at you when he can". Why would you think he is playing you if you told him beforehand that it's basically ok not to call or email? I am glad you guys are doing well and that you learned something from the experience.

ETA-When my SO was on R&R he spent a week with me and then went home to visit his family for his last week. He didn't have computer or phone access either, but he was definitely calling me from anyone's cell phone he could at least once per day and he found a way to email me as well.
 
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NOEChic said:
was playing you. Get you all riled up b/c they are not calling or whatnot. You talk to them about it, and then you realize what an idiot you have been?

I know he loves me, he shows it ALL the time. But one time i had not heard from him in like 4 days and i was feeling played and was gettin HOT and burnt up at him. I talked to him about it, he was really busy, but i was up in my feelings.

I love that man!:drunk:
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Let me put you on game....

Sometimes *people*, in order to get the heat off of themselves, deflect it onto you. Some men will give you the most matter-of-fact answer to "why haven't I heard from you in last 96 hours?" in an attempt to make you look like the crazy/wrong one. He'll give you the :smirk: :ohwell: look as if you wondering why he couldn't so much as text you that he was alive in 4 days (when you regularly talk to him everyday, several times a day), was the most bizarre concept ever. Then he'll be like, "Come on, silly [it is key that he uses a word like this - "silly", "crazy", "dummy", etc in a playful way. this is how he keeps it casual]. You know I got these clients I have to deal with. I got these crazy deadlines [or insert seemingly logical excuse here]" Then you think/say, "Oh sorry honey you're right...I'm such an idiot ["I was acting so stupidly" "you're right, I was being silly" etc].

You do know that he was contemplating his alibi during all that time that he wasn't calling you, right?

4 days? I don't think so. If he had time to pee, poo, eat, and lay in bed before falling asleep, he had time to call or at least text you.

If and when this ever happens again, you are not to be available to pick up his calls/answer his texts/open the door when he stops by. Do it for 8 days. Period.

Move on to the next!
 
TayMac said:
Chill. Nobody told you to leave your man from what I read. Most just responded to the idea in general obviously not knowing the full details of your relationship.
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Thank you. I agree. I wrote my response before learning all this new info. So if the issue was already resolved, why even make a thread on a forum about it?

I'm just sayin. :look:
 
STLCoverGirl said:
It seems like you knew how things were going to be on his R&R, and you encouraged him to "holla at you when he can". Why would you think he is playing you if you told him beforehand that it's basically ok not to call or email? I am glad you guys are doing well and that you learned something from the experience.
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b/c i just started trippin, lol...i still wanted to talk to him in the back of my mind, but i really did not want to take time away from his peeps.
 
Jade Feria said:
Thank you. I agree. I wrote my response before learning all this new info. So if the issue was already resolved, why even make a thread on a forum about it?

I'm just sayin. :look:
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b/c i was just thinking about it...

he called me earlier today when he got to his base 2am his time and then he texted me about 2 hrs later and we talked for like an hr:grin:
 
mama there is no to defend ur relationship....no matter whats goin on it its a beneficial experience to you

if u talk to him all the time when he is away and hardly not at all when he is home, no it does not automatically mean he doesn't love you but don't dillude yourself into knowing that for some reason or another that his energy was not into you when he could of been in your physical presence...best believe that no matter what the reason is its all very personal to him.....if he wanted to expend more energy and time with you he would have with no problem even with you saying that its okay not too (which by the way is best to not be said if thats not how u really feel or want it to be)....love is way more than what we see, hear or percieve in the physical world, its more a feeling we know and even when things seem to be "off" there is a good reason for it....either you feel he truly loves you or either you are trying to convince yourself he does....and defending it is one of the signs you may not be completely sure....its something you will have to really figure out for yourself

me and my ex hit if off real quick and real intense for a couple of months and one day he started to pull away and i definitely felt the energy shift..I didn't feel the love shift but I knew he was gradually pulling his energy away....days would go by with no calls and when he would call he would have some random reason why he didn't....then there was a point I didnt hear from him for a month and probably about three months went by before he came back....i never once felt he didnt love me never even questioned it, even if the thought popped up...he's not into you I would dismiss it, thats not it, I don't know what it is but I know for sure its not that he's not into me.....I was definitely confused by his actions and how things were playing out and the couple times i did speak to him in that three month period still random reasons......i was quite aware of him pulling away and there was no need to make excuses for him he simply was not focusing on me and I didn't try to make him do so or hound him for explanations of his behavior I just let him be and do him......and all this time i never once felt that him not loving me was the reason for all of this

come to find out he asked me to take some personal pics for him and i sent them from my tmail to my yahoo and forwarded them to him...he thought my yahoo id was another male, constructed a whole story in his head about me trying to play him and figured he would leave before i could hurt him...

at the same time i know when somebody is really truly into me

i know when they are not even when they are trying to convince me they are

intuition is simply tuning into yourself and the other person
 
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STLCoverGirl said:
It seems like you knew how things were going to be on his R&R, and you encouraged him to "holla at you when he can". Why would you think he is playing you if you told him beforehand that it's basically ok not to call or email? I am glad you guys are doing well and that you learned something from the experience.

ETA-When my SO was on R&R he spent a week with me and then went home to visit his family for his last week. He didn't have computer or phone access either, but he was definitely calling me from anyone's cell phone he could at least once per day and he found a way to email me as well.
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that is good for you and your SO.

Like i said, i/he did not want to call me from a lot of people's cells. I dont want them people with my number, and he is very private when it comes to his business.

When he finally got to his granny's house he called and we talked the last 2 days he was here. plus one of the 4 days he called me while i was at work and i did not answer the phone b/c i did not know the number....then i was mad at myself for not answering.

Also he was crisscrossing the states to see people and take care of business.

B/c he has kids, i will always make sure his kids have ALL his undivided time. Especially since he dont live in the same state with time
 
NOEChic said:
that is good for you and your SO.

Like i said, i/he did not want to call me from a lot of people's cells. I dont want them people with my number, and he is very private when it comes to his business.

When he finally got to his granny's house he called and we talked the last 2 days he was here. plus one of the 4 days he called me while i was at work and i did not answer the phone b/c i did not know the number....then i was mad at myself for not answering.

Also he was crisscrossing the states to see people and take care of business.

B/c he has kids, i will always make sure his kids have ALL his undivided time. Especially since he dont live in the same state with time
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Ok, details make the masterpiece...that makes more sense. Glad you worked it out and all's well.
 
ms.sweetevie said:
He should get a cheap cell phone for times like these. Metro pcs or Cingular have phones for 30 bucks/
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i talked to him about that before he left to come home. but he did not want a phone b/c he did not want 50-11 people callin him while he was with his girls, me, or taking care of business...he wanted whoever he was with at the time to have his undivided attention. I know had someone called him while we were together and he sat and talked to them we would have had a problem. :lachen:

he wanted me to turn my phone off while i was with him, but that is against my steelo, so we compromised and i left my phone on vibrate. I barely picked it up the whole time he was here though.

he has a calling card, but how often do you see payphones, i got calls while he was in the airports


he has a cell phone he just turned it off for his deployment
 
Changed said:
This rule was develop after an ex of mine did that.

Personally, I have a 3 day rule.

If I don't TALK to you or SEE you within 3 days. It's over!!!

If you have time to grab a meal, you have time to contact me. We live in the technological age, after all.

But Opster, I'm glad everything is kosher between you and your boo.
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Thank you, for my second :lachen::lachen::lachen:to-day !!!!!!
 
Well as long as you are happy and satisfied that is what matters. But you were not being "insecure" or an "idiot" for wondering what the heck was going on. I have been with my dh for 26 years, married the last 22, and we have talked at least once a day for the past 26 years. He's travelled halfway across the world, been swamped with meetings, but his head won't hit the pillow at night until he has made contact with me. I say all that to say that is why you are getting the responses you are getting. It is hard for some of us to imagine our dh's, bf's, so's going four whole days without contact. So I'm happy you have made peace with the situation but I want you to know that I believe your initial reaction to not hearing from him was a natural one IMO and not silly at all.
 
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Why make a thread about your issues and don't want to hear the responses???

Deep down you know old boy is up to no good.

KIM
 
Very interesting comment since most ladies who commented are in relationship or married, rather than bitter or alone. He probably does not want you sharing details because other men/women with more life experience will shed some light on the scenario.

I want to echo that you were not being "insecure" or an "idiot" for wondering what the heck was going on after 4 days of not hearing from your SO.

I talk to my husband at least once a day, everyday, and his job entails working with highly sensitive microphones that pick up vibration of cell phones.....but he still makes the time to call me. I don't ever call him when he's at work in the studio but you can best believe that my phone is ringing if he's running late, going to be late for dinner or late whatever we had planned.

I also don't call him when he's spending time with his son (if I am not with them) but even then he is still calling me and I speak to my stepson. The only time DH's cell phone is off is when is at home with me and that is because his son can call the house phone.

It is impossible for me to imagine going 4 full days without contact with my husband and there is absolutely no rational reason that he could give me for not making contact.

So long as you're okay with the situation, so be it. However, don't discount age & life experience.

NOEChic said:
If I listen to y'all i would end up alone and bitter. Maybe this is why he dont want me to tell our business. I see now lol.[/quote]
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