Have you ever moved to be with DH/SO? Would you? Yea or Nay
- Thread starter foxxymami
- Start date
Where ever Dh is that's where I'll be. Except for example, if he was moving be to be around only his family. But since we all live int he same town.............
winterinatl
All natural!
I would never make a move based on an SO or boyfriend.
Now, my fiancee would have a much better chance, but still that date better be set, for me to leave friends, family, career network behind.
My husband? I will be where he will be.
Think about it like the military does: they won't pay for a soldier's love to move around with him unless it's his wife, and even then she can't always come along.
I have seen/heard of many women that did this, only to have their hearts broken in a strange place. Not to mention, I don't like what it says to the man: That your life, career, friends and family are expandable just so you can continue to be with him.
Now, my fiancee would have a much better chance, but still that date better be set, for me to leave friends, family, career network behind.
My husband? I will be where he will be.
Think about it like the military does: they won't pay for a soldier's love to move around with him unless it's his wife, and even then she can't always come along.
I have seen/heard of many women that did this, only to have their hearts broken in a strange place. Not to mention, I don't like what it says to the man: That your life, career, friends and family are expandable just so you can continue to be with him.
Cichelle
Well-Known Member
I moved to be with my husband before we were married. I had to leave my college and everything, but he could not move to be where I was because of his job. It was a small move, about two and half hours away. But I did get very homesick because I loved where I lived before. That was almost ten years ago and I STILL miss that place.
I moved from Louisiana to Texas when I was engaged. Didn't work out, and I did not regret the move. I then moved again before DH were married (we were engaged and planning the wedding) b/c of his job. We actually purchased our home before the wedding. I lived upstairs in a guest room and he kept his apartment until after the wedding. So yes I have, and will move again if need be. He and I discuss this occasionally. We have decided the places that we will not relocate.
andreab
New Member
I moved to be with SO after we had son. It was a huge decision for me but it also helped that I had the support of my family. We did the long distance thing for 1 year. We worked well together as a couple. We just kept getting better and getting to know each other.
What happened once you got to your new city? We lived happily ever after got married and got a house.
What happened once you got to your new city? We lived happily ever after got married and got a house.
WhipEffectz1
Well-Known Member
I moved from Louisiana to Georgia. It wasn't totally based on him though, I just needed to experience another state other than Louisiana. It also helped that a decent amount of friends, fraternal family, and alumni are here not to mention its easy to coax all of your friends to move here because it is such a popular destination. It all just fell together. Now for me to move to a faraway place like LA or NYC for a man is like totally out of the question because I can always hit the road and be home in like 7-9 hours depending on what part of the state I'm going to. It also takes me an our or so to get home on a plane to New Orleans, Baton Rouge, or Alexandria so thats awesome.
gone_fishing
New Member
I moved from Monterey, California to Charlotte, NC.
It was entirely my husband's (now ex's) fault.
He thought the cost of living in my town where we met, was too high.
After our son was born, he wanted to move.
I didn't want to go but I went anyway as he was the "head of the household".
At this point, we had been married for 3.5 years or so...
When I got here, 8 months later he decided he wanted to move out of the US altogether - namely, Bahrain.
I respectfully, declined.
So, I've been out in Charlotte, by myself because now that we've moved and sold our house, the housing market in Monterey, California is next to impossible to get back into.
Median costs of homes out there start at 500K now and that is only for like a 3 smallbedroom 1.5 bath house.
Now as you can see, it is even higher than it was. AND I so want to go back home but I don't want to rely on anyone else for residence.
However, now that I'm engaged to a great guy, it's not so bad. But the first few years of being alone here were hella rough!
It was entirely my husband's (now ex's) fault.
He thought the cost of living in my town where we met, was too high.
After our son was born, he wanted to move.
I didn't want to go but I went anyway as he was the "head of the household".
At this point, we had been married for 3.5 years or so...
When I got here, 8 months later he decided he wanted to move out of the US altogether - namely, Bahrain.
I respectfully, declined.
So, I've been out in Charlotte, by myself because now that we've moved and sold our house, the housing market in Monterey, California is next to impossible to get back into.
Median costs of homes out there start at 500K now and that is only for like a 3 smallbedroom 1.5 bath house.
Now as you can see, it is even higher than it was.
AND I so want to go back home but I don't want to rely on anyone else for residence.However, now that I'm engaged to a great guy, it's not so bad. But the first few years of being alone here were hella rough!
14got
Well-Known Member
Determined22
New Member
I would never make a move based on an SO or boyfriend.
Now, my fiancee would have a much better chance, but still that date better be set, for me to leave friends, family, career network behind.
My husband? I will be where he will be.
Think about it like the military does: they won't pay for a soldier's love to move around with him unless it's his wife, and even then she can't always come along.
I have seen/heard of many women that did this, only to have their hearts broken in a strange place. Not to mention, I don't like what it says to the man: That your life, career, friends and family are expandable just so you can continue to be with him.
This happened to a friend of mine. She was on the East Coast, he was in Atlanta. She wanted to move down there anyway, and as soon as she got there, he just up and disappeared on her. Didn't break up with her, just stopped answering the phone and stuff.
The crazy part is that he would run into her at events in the city.
foxxymami
Well-Known Member
This happened to a friend of mine. She was on the East Coast, he was in Atlanta. She wanted to move down there anyway, and as soon as she got there, he just up and disappeared on her. Didn't break up with her, just stopped answering the phone and stuff.
The crazy part is that he would run into her at events in the city.
So moving out there was her own doing?......did they discuss it as a couple? I don't understand why he would disappear on her if it was a well-thought out and well-planned mutual decision.
Tiffchelle22
New Member
I moved from Florida to Texas to be with my DH while he was finishing up his technical training in the Air Force. We were newlyweds, and got tired of being apart. I wanna be wherever he is.
Suerte
New Member
Wow... Denmark?
How did you guys meet? Did you have to learn a new language? Were you both Americans? How did all of that happen? I am very curious.
I'd move, definately.
I love to travel and I can basically pick up and start over where ever.
I have friends that I've known since I was like 6... and I have one friend in particular who's lived everywhere from Ecuador to Holland to Malaysia to Namibia... and we've kept in touch and visited all throughout that.
I think that... no matter WHERE you move to... you can stay just as close to your friends and family if you put forth the effort. It might not be physical closeness... but I have a couple of friends who I've became CLOSER with since our relationships are more email and telephone based. A girl I went to high school with and hung out with all the time...I learned more about her since she moved to Germany than I did when I was seeing her/hanging out with her every weekend.
I am contemplating a move (eventually...might be some years) due to a guy I've met and kept in contact with. I'm stepping out of my current relationship one step at a time...and I know it will be some time until I'm ready for another commitment
winterinatl
All natural!
Well, I know my ex SO did this to the long term chick he had years before me. They had both grown up in Wacksonville, FL, and decided moving to Atlanta was a much better financial move for the both of them. The plan: he go first and secure job and apartment, then she would follow a month or so later. Problem was, he secure a whole lot more'n a job: some side poosay, too.
She moved up , their relationship went south, and there she was, moved away from home, friends and family because of a man.
winterinatl
All natural!
Wow... Denmark?
How did you guys meet? Did you have to learn a new language? Were you both Americans? How did all of that happen? I am very curious.
I'd move, definately.
I love to travel and I can basically pick up and start over where ever.
I have friends that I've known since I was like 6... and I have one friend in particular who's lived everywhere from Ecuador to Holland to Malaysia to Namibia... and we've kept in touch and visited all throughout that.
I think that... no matter WHERE you move to... you can stay just as close to your friends and family if you put forth the effort. It might not be physical closeness... but I have a couple of friends who I've became CLOSER with since our relationships are more email and telephone based. A girl I went to high school with and hung out with all the time...I learned more about her since she moved to Germany than I did when I was seeing her/hanging out with her every weekend.
I am contemplating a move (eventually...might be some years) due to a guy I've met and kept in contact with. I'm stepping out of my current relationship one step at a time...and I know it will be some time until I'm ready for another commitment
But with you, I get a whole different feel about your comfort level with moving. At the bolded, it seems like you would move anyway just because you like to travel, it's fun (seems to me, anyway). So if you moved, would it really be to get with the guy, or is the guy the extra added benefit?
Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
I would move to be with him. I dont think I would feel like I was giving up everything. This is the 3rd country I have ever lived in so moving and starting a life in a new place isnt something taxing for me. I would look forward to the experience. If things didnt work out between us, then I would simply move out and move on.
spelmanlocks
Well-Known Member
I would move wherever my fiance goes as long as its somewhere within reason. I would be weary of living in certain states like Maine, Idaho, and certain countries not that I wouldn't but I just think it'd be hard. He moved up to metro DC with me from our homestate GA and we were just boyfriend and girlfriend at the time, so I'd have no problem doing the same for him in general though.
Much2much41
Well-Known Member
I would never move for an SO. I would move near (but not in with) a fiance if a date was set and arrangements made, or husband only. I've seen too many women move to be with boyfriends, only to see them marry someone else. I flat out refuse to do it.
anherica
New Member
We actually met online at ICQ. We started off chatting about travel (of all things.) and became good friends, then it went from there and we talked every day. He's Danish and had never even thought about visiting America until he met me. Instead of me visiting Egypt like I was planning, I visited Denmark about 8 months after we first started chatting, then he visited the U.S. about 7 months later and we got married. After I settled everything at home with work, packing up and selling off stuff, I moved to Denmark. My friends thought I'd lost my mind..but I'm glad I did. I did have to learn a new language. I just finished an 18 month course of Danish that's required by law for all immigrants.
KEWLKAT103
Well-Known Member
I did and it was horrible...at first.
I always refused to move to be with an SO. I wound up breaking off my relationships because I moved quite a bit. Well, about 4 years ago, I got involved with my now FI. 2 months after dating, I got my dream job and moved to my dream place of Alaska. The relationship continued to progress long distance and we decided that I would move back down here. About 2 months after that, we broke up. Of course I was kicking myself for breaking my rule of moving to be with a man, but things happen for a reason. We remained friends and 1 1/2 years later we got back together and now will be married in the Spring.
If I had to do it over again, I'm not sure I would. It was very hard for me to come back here, but now I am glad that I did.
I always refused to move to be with an SO. I wound up breaking off my relationships because I moved quite a bit. Well, about 4 years ago, I got involved with my now FI. 2 months after dating, I got my dream job and moved to my dream place of Alaska. The relationship continued to progress long distance and we decided that I would move back down here. About 2 months after that, we broke up. Of course I was kicking myself for breaking my rule of moving to be with a man, but things happen for a reason. We remained friends and 1 1/2 years later we got back together and now will be married in the Spring.
If I had to do it over again, I'm not sure I would. It was very hard for me to come back here, but now I am glad that I did.
SouthernTease
New Member
I would IF and ONLY IF
it was a lateral move for my career
or it was a city I was interested in living in.
it was a lateral move for my career
or it was a city I was interested in living in.
prtybrwnis
Well-Known Member
I am moving to be with my fiance next year. We've been friends for almost 14 years and romantically involved for the last 2 years. He lives in Texas and I live in California, so it will be better economically for us. Also, he is preparing for dental school. So, it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for our future. The distance is killing me, so I can't wait for us to be in the same place.
Seeking8Rights
New Member
I moved from my DH, well I have to because of his job. We move every 3 years. I know it can "seem" fun, but after a while you just want a long term place of residence. I cannot wait until we can finally settle down and build a home. OMG I can't wait, but living in different countries is exciting.
A week after we were married, we began packing up my home. My brand new 3 bd apt (not complaining but I do miss my girly pad). I left my very lucrative paying job, my friends thought I was crazy (now they are like, you were ahead of the game girl) and my mom was like going nuts. I was sad BUT SOOOOO excited to live in a different city. That was the mini move, as we were only 4 hours away from my prior city. Then of course 2 years later....We are in the pizza capital of the world. 
Would I do it again? Yes ma'am. For my DH, I would even move to the north pole if he had an assignment with Santa.
A week after we were married, we began packing up my home.
My brand new 3 bd apt (not complaining but I do miss my girly pad). I left my very lucrative paying job, my friends thought I was crazy (now they are like, you were ahead of the game girl) and my mom was like going nuts. I was sad BUT SOOOOO excited to live in a different city. That was the mini move, as we were only 4 hours away from my prior city. Then of course 2 years later....We are in the pizza capital of the world. Would I do it again? Yes ma'am. For my DH, I would even move to the north pole if he had an assignment with Santa.
candiel
New Member
Would I do it again? Yes ma'am. For my DH, I would even move to the north pole if he had an assignment with Santa.
girl, that is too funny! I don't think I would ever move for a SO unless there were plans in the very near future to get married. For my husband, I would move anywhere if I felt like he was moving for the right reasons (i.e. better job) and not just on a whim.
Wow... Denmark?
How did you guys meet? Did you have to learn a new language? Were you both Americans? How did all of that happen? I am very curious.
I'd move, definately.
I love to travel and I can basically pick up and start over where ever.
I have friends that I've known since I was like 6... and I have one friend in particular who's lived everywhere from Ecuador to Holland to Malaysia to Namibia... and we've kept in touch and visited all throughout that.
I think that... no matter WHERE you move to... you can stay just as close to your friends and family if you put forth the effort. It might not be physical closeness... but I have a couple of friends who I've became CLOSER with since our relationships are more email and telephone based. A girl I went to high school with and hung out with all the time...I learned more about her since she moved to Germany than I did when I was seeing her/hanging out with her every weekend.
I am contemplating a move (eventually...might be some years) due to a guy I've met and kept in contact with. I'm stepping out of my current relationship one step at a time...and I know it will be some time until I'm ready for another commitment
I am in a very similiar situation. I hope yours works out too....
andreab
New Member
Well......bump! .....just in case someone else has another story to share
Looks like you got a lot of good responses. Why do you ask?
Suerte
New Member
Yea, I do like to travel...and I can break ties with anyone like, ridiculously easy. I don't get attached to ppl.
It would be for fun, but also for the guy. I'm one of those types who would do anything (almost) for a HUSBAND I was already married to... so if it was hubby then I'd move wherever. But just someone I was dating? It would have to be very, very serious dating.
I wouldn't move across country to shack up. No.
Wow...that is so amazing. I have always wondered about i-net relationships. I have some friends who have had great luck (one couple is going on 11 years and married with a child). I've talked to i-net guys before and there have been some... where...if I just had the courage to fly across country to meet them...maybe the last 3 years of my life would be different instead of spent with my lovable-but-psycho-workaholic b/f.
So has anyone else moved internationally?
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