Have You Ever Had a Man "Strung Out" on You?

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

DH was strung out when he met me. Initially, it was kind of weird but I ended up loving him. To this day, his friends tell me how they clowned him so badly because of how he acted. He wrote me a love poem every day for the first six months of us knowing each other, I have them saved in a book and its a ton of them. One of my friends had a class in college with him and was like, ya boy was talking about you all throughout class, what did you do to him. And honestly I have no idea why he was like that.

See that's what I'm talking about!!! LOL
I have a few love poems from different guys.

 

[Theo]

I don't know, I think so.

All I know is that I tend to have very intense relationships. I don't know... its just something about me. I tend to get all up in a person's life.... and not intentionally. I don't know if I can ever have one of those relationships where the two people just feel medium about one another. Every guy I've dated has told me that a relationship with me is very consuming. I don't know why... I don't try to be. I'm just me.

After awhile, I noticed that I would seek out guys who I didn't feel too much of a connection with, or who seemed emotionally unavailable, because I really wanted to just have one of those 6 month relationships where we can hang for a little bit, give each other the deuce and split. It was a real goal of mine at one point. Its never like that for me though. People always fall in love.... and I've "made" every single one of my boyfriends cry at one point. And these are all very stoic, emotionless men. They're the only kind I can date. I don't do well with sensitive/emotional men... they will literally just fall off the face of the earth when things are through. I always thought they were dissing me, I only recently learned that they did that because of hurt feelings. erplexed

I've never had sex, so its definitely not the sex. Its weird, because I've had several long term relationships (1+ year) despite my no sexing rule, as I'm saving it for marriage. Some of them were holding on to the hope of me giving it up to the end, others didn't really care. I'm not really a rules girl either. I have my own rules that work for me.

I've had some interesting words thrown at me... mysterious, intriguing, etc. Which is funny to me, because I'm pretty goofy lol. Part of it may be my father, he is very old school and stern. All my bfs had to do the "sneak and meet me here", "whisper on the phone" thing at some point, and honestly they ate that ish up. I think it was the whole forbidden fruit idea. I also think it was the lack of the sex. I still have past boos hitting me up, about it... some of whom are in new relationships.

Also, I'm a Scorpio, and supposedly that's one the traits of our signs. That we "lure" people in. I don't know how I feel about it. After all that drama, I have yet to found The One, so what does all that really mean you know?

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

What tha...?!

Did he show any signs of being mentally challenged? maybe sometimes acted a little off?
Strung out or not, I can't picture a man in his right mind doing that ....

The men our relatives try to hook us up with knowing full well that something is wrong with the dude

No, he seemed "normal" to me the few dates we went on, but he wasn't my type and I didn't want to continue seeing him knowing this. Perhaps had I got to know him better, his true colors would have eventually surfaced. I'm glad it didn't get that far.

 

[brsugarbabe]

I had that experience...it became more of an obsession-possessive-abuse...then i left. Its very scary. I broke up with the person last year after four years. Now im thinking about moving out of my apartment.

You just have to be careful and cautious.

 

[intergalacticartist]

Great thred!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I have and it wasn't pretty. I was dealing with so much guilt and self-loathing because I didn't feel the same. After awhile that guilt turned into resentment. Resentment turned into hatred for him. I promised myself that I would never again allow myself to be with someone just because he wanted me and I didn't love him back. It's not fair to anyone.

 

[blackbarbie]

Yeah, I have one that won't go away after 2.5 years!

I have not talked to this fool in that long and he STILLS calls and leaves messages asking for the chance to "just be friends". And the funny part about it is that we could have been just that but after me not calling and not calling for the first few weeks, he was getting frustrated and left some messages on my v-mail that led me to believe that "O.K....this is a bona-fide fool!".

Even overseas, he is steady calling every few months acting as if he never said crazy things to me. I keep asking myself what I did because whatever it was, I swear I don't want to do it to another human being.

BB

 

[aribell]

Also, I'm a Scorpio, and supposedly that's one the traits of our signs. That we "lure" people in. I don't know how I feel about it. After all that drama, I have yet to found The One, so what does all that really mean you know?

I don't know about "strung out," I guess so, though. But the bolded says it for me. I think for a minute it was an ego stroke but then I was just like "Well, I still have no ring on my finger so it must not be all that special." Besides, like others said I think some men are just emotionally imbalanced and that's why they fall for women like that. No matter who they're with, they'll take being in love to the nth degree.

But in general, I really think it just depends on what that person is looking for. They have it in their mind that the ideal woman is x and you just happen to fit the bill and then they think they've hit the jackpot. It's too bad people's "ideals" aren't always found in one another.

 

[chocolat79]

Yeah, I have one that won't go away after 2.5 years!

I have not talked to this fool in that long and he STILLS calls and leaves messages asking for the chance to "just be friends". And the funny part about it is that we could have been just that but after me not calling and not calling for the first few weeks, he was getting frustrated and left some messages on my v-mail that led me to believe that "O.K....this is a bona-fide fool!".

Even overseas, he is steady calling every few months acting as if he never said crazy things to me. I keep asking myself what I did because whatever it was, I swear I don't want to do it to another human being.

BB

^^^Very similar experience. My ex-BF of 3 months (back in 2005-06) still calls me and says I'm the only one for him and that he's not married because no one can replace me, etc, etc. I've had a few BF's since that time and he's known about them and he says he's willing to do anything to be with me and let him know when/if I break up with them...also, he's in the Caribbean. He was possessive when we were together and that's one of the reason's I broke up with him.

As a matter of fact, I'm friends with ALL my exes and ALL of them have tried to come back into my life in some capacity. One of my good friends always makes fun of me about this...I have more stories about this, but that was just the one who's still "strung" out. Thankfully, the others have FINALLY moved on...

 

[chocolat79]

After all that drama, I have yet to found The One, so what does all that really mean you know?

This is me too

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I've had this happen alot over the years I would tell men early on that I' a virgin, and I'm waiting for love and the right guy.....little did I know that it kinda sets off this conquest mentality in men

My first boyfriend was a sweet guy intelligent, romantic, he would hold my hand as we walked to the train every day but I didn't really feel I had chemistry with him....so one day I decided to break up with him via a letter (I know...COLD but gimme a break I was like 12 lol) and he told me I broke his heartI had alot of regrets but I kinda didn't take it as serious, untill all his friends started coming up to me like what did you DO to him? I was just likeerplexed I still talk to him sporatically and have nice conversation and in every single solitary one he mentions the way I broke his heart and the way I was so mean and I always say aww I'm sorry.

Its ten years later and he's still just as interested in me and just asked me out for dinner a few months ago...I politely declined. I decided I wanted to have a little high school reunion BBQ thingy over my house this past summer before I went away to school, I invited him because I thought hey, he was one of my HS friends and that was so long ago so it should be fine. His friends happened to enter my house first and I shook their hands and we introduced ourselves he said "Oh that's YOU!?!? Wow, you straight decimated him" I was like

Later on in that party he proceeded to bring up HS and how I was so cold and he ended the night by proposing to me. My reaction:look:

My next boyfriend was handsome carribbean background, sweet guy but really dull and truthfully he was just a rebound from the guy I really wanted....at first I kept him around because I just wanted a boyfriend to have a boyfriend you know how it is in HS and then I eventually dumped him too. He Responded by writing me a tearful letter about how he doesn't understand why I'm doing this to him and he thought we could spend our lives together....later his sister told me he locked himself in his room the whole weekend crying...I felt really bad.

There was recently a guy I dated who seemed educated sweet and interesting, I went on the first date with him and it was cool a little too much talk of kids and marriage for me but I was like this guy is pretty sweet....the second date he decided to cook for me over his house...that was a mess, he was saying he could see us getting married and raising kids, would I be willing to relocate down south? He asked me if I would like some wine...I told him no and he said "Oh that won't work MY girl has to be able to hold her wine" All KINDA recklessness and I was just sitting there like wtf? I was like I think I'm gonna head home now, then he was all up on me like did you have a good time!??!?! I was just like then he goes "TELL ME WHAT YOUR FAVORITE SONG IS SO I CAN MAKE IT MY RINGTONE WHEN YOU CALL M'KAY?" I was like yea suuurrre I got on that train sooooo fast yall.....

I later told him I honestly wasn't over my ex and I need to see what can happen with us for now....he told me well we can be friends in the mean time "I will wait for you untill you are done being with him, however long it takes" I was like like... wow

Then theres my cop man, sexy as can be, dark chocolate, deliciously muscular, tall, handsome, and adores me, admires me, at this point I just like him for his delicious looks lol I don't see a future but when we *first* met, omg I was all about him I wanted to be his girl, I was impressed by his apartment because I was a freshman in college and he was graduating I could see a great future before him. When we were first dating he was trying to get in my pants lol I wanted a relationship and I came on a little strong and after a while we just drifted apart....well some time passed and I got an early start in my career in real estate and matured much more and had confidence...by the time he was contacting me again I was pretty much "whatever" about the whole thing....and that seems to have an effect on men....it makes them kinda focus in on you more I think.

Its been five years I've never gave it up to him and he still gets in touch with me periodically, when he does we flirt HARD our texts can get very.....direct. If I have time, I allow him to drive 40 minutes out of his way pick me up to take me on a date, we'll make out we'll flirt and have a great time. Our attraction and chemistry is out of this world, he still keeps in touch with me regularly even though I dont really make a reciprocal effort....its nice