Have any of you ladies had luck the second time around?

[keelioness]

Hey ladies...I've never posted in the relationship forum..but i'm curious..hava any of u guys gotten back together with a former SO and had a happy ending? I'm asking cuz I have a former SO whos asked me out..long story short it was the best relationship I've been in and Im 30 somethin years old..so yea I've been in a few.. please share your experiences

 

[Thiends]

My experience is that it's best to leave well enough alone. I'm not the sort to look back, so I have taken an ex back only once. The only good thing about the second time around was that within a matter of weeks, all of the questions and suspicions that led to me breaking up with him the first time were replaced with concrete answers and confirmations.

I would never again take an ex back unless we broke up because I was the immature one or for extenuating reasons that had nothing to do with the quality of the relationship (such as one of us having to move to be with a sick parent).

 

[cartelise]

My experience is that it's best to leave well enough alone. I'm not the sort to look back, so I have taken an ex back only once. The only good thing about the second time around was that within a matter of weeks, all of the questions and suspicions that led to me breaking up with him the first time were replaced with concrete answers and confirmations.

This right here. Some things are better left as they are.

 

[keelioness]

Ok..but thats the thing..this was over 5 yrs ago but I still feel he was my soulmate..long story short ..I'd never been with a great drama free guy b4 I met him..the relationship was really good..basically I F*$#ed it ..picking fights about made up nonsense..he asked me several times to please stop picking fights..any case he broke up with me . Ive dated several people after him but haven't been in love since

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[Carrie A]

Well if you are conscious of your behavior patterns and can actively change, then maybe give it a try. Has he expressed interest in getting back with you? He may have moved on.

***It didn't work out for me the second time around. I think this is the outcome in most cases.

 

[keelioness]

Well if you are conscious of your behavior patterns and can actively change, then maybe give it a try. Has he expressed interest in getting back with you? He may have moved on.


***It didn't work out for me the
second time around. I think this is the outcome in most cases.

Thanks Carrie...I havent "hung out" witg him in years cuz I know I' ll be disappointed because getting back together and hanging out are two different animals



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[*CherryPie*]

It seems like you really want to try it again.

So I say, try it with no sex for a while and see how it goes. Sometimes men just want to get back with you for sex, so this will help you see the relationship clearly, and you'll see where his head is at.

If he REALLY want to be with you, and he cares about you he'll understand.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

tread carefully because people change over time.... i did it (recently) and it ended HORRIBLY to the point now where my stomach turns and my skin crawls every time i see him.... when we broke up previously (8 years ago) we parted on good terms and i always remembered him as one of the good guys.... fast forward to our last and final breakup and i see that now he's a bitter, cynical loser....

so yeah, i say that if you want to see what could be, do so with your eyes wide open.... but no, no luck on this end....

 

[Katherina]

No luck here.

 

[keelioness]

Thanx ladies..seems like a losing scenario..Im rethinking "hanging out"

 

[FlowerHair]

I had great luck with my ex/current SO.

I have quite a few friends who broke up and got back together and their relationships have lasted... I think it depends on why you broke up and if you have remained friends afterwards.

You cannot expect anyone to change...but if circumstances change, it might work.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

From my experience, its hard to break established patterns with people...if you know you are accustomed to behaving a certain way with someone, you sometimes naturally (even over time) begin to revert back to those old ways. I notice successful relationships are those that simple learn to tolerate the others 'flaws'.

 

[CurlyMoo]

No it doesn't go well, except it feels more like closure and I tend to move on without the same pain and frustration as the first breakup.

 

[Qtee]

I got back with my daughters father after a several year hiatus...We ended up breaking up again...in the end he was the same person that I broke up with the 1st time...only worse this time..and the only good thing about reconnection was the birth of our now 4 yr old twin boys..They are an ex for a reason..