Has texting replaced actual talking?

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VelvetRain

Well-Known Member
I am noticing a pattern with the men I have been meeting lately. They love to text all day without a thought first as to maybe I should just pick up the phone and ask her this or that. The guy that I am casually dating now started out just like that. He texts alot but he will often follow up with a phone call every few days. I guess I can't really complain as we have gone out once and have plans in the coming week to go out again. At least he hasn't asked me out via text as of yet.

The second guy lets just say we have been emailing back and forth since Dec 1st. I have yet to actually talk to this guy on the phone. I know weird. Part of me thinks he is married or either already in a relationship. I did go as far as to say are you married? Of course his reply was no. He did go on to tell me he is divorced and how crazy his ex wife was. At this point I am not really invested in either on of these guys especially the second one. I just think it's utter ridiculous that men in their late 30's think that texting and or emailing is a replacement for actual talking. Isn't that the whole point of dating in general. To have an interchange of ideas via conversation?
Not sure how you can do that with emailing someone back and forth to have a conversation. I was curious to see just how long he was going to drag the emailing back and forth so I did give him my contact info Friday. He replied back and said thanks for giving me a way to contact you. I will text you this weekend. Hilarious lol.

Hmmm I have no plans on even responding back to either that future text or emails.
 
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I think it has. People are just in the habit of texting.:nono: I hate it. I don't text and don't respond to texts. I keep my phone in the truck all the time.

My coworker text me that she would not be in one day last week. ????? That's just stupid to me.
 
You are so right Dlewis. My coworker actually texted our boss to say she wasn't coming in to work one morning. I was floored. Who texts to say they aren't coming in to their supervisor? That is a bold move. The few times in my life when I was too sick to make it I always called using my phone.
 
I don't know what's going to happen to us. I'm refusing (at this time) to get my kids cells but ALL their friends have them.:nono:

MY BFF's little girls has one and she's 6.:nono:

I only see dating getting more complicated because of texts and emails. Do these men even know how wo have a conversation?

OT: You look so pretty. Glad to see you posting again.
 
Texting does NOT replace calling. I primarily ignore texts from men who use it as a way to communicate. When a man texts me something conversational I do not answer. Texting is for conveying pertinent information (i.e. I'm running 10 minutes late or the address is 123 XYZ Blvd), not conversing. In the time it's taken to type out those 160 characters a phone call could've been made. Plus how can one truly communicate in 160 characters. You miss out on the intimacy of hearing someone's voice.

The only exception to this rule is when talking on the phone is not feasible. I'm not an all or nothing type of girl so if circumstances are preventing a phone call, then I'd rather text than to not talk at all. For example, how many times have you been bored in a loud party and spent the night texting back and forth with friends? You can't talk cause it's too loud, but you still want to communicate. Or another is during the work day when you can't have a personal conversation but still want to correspond. The guy I like right now has a non-traditional work schedule that completely conflicts with mine. We text more than we talk because when I'm available, he's working or sleeping. And when he's available I'm working or sleeping. If we didn't text or email we wouldn't communicate at all. When we are both free, he calls. He started out calling and I actually had to tell him that although I don't prefer it, I'd rather he texts me than wait for days for him to have a day off and be able to call. Most men aren't in this situation and just tend to be lazy. If all a man wants to do is text I leave him alone.
 
dlewis said:
I don't know what's going to happen to us. I'm refusing (at this time) to get my kids cells but ALL their friends have them.:nono:

MY BFF's little girls has one and she's 6.:nono:

I only see dating getting more complicated because of texts and emails. Do these men even know how wo have a conversation?

OT: You look so pretty. Glad to see you posting again.
Click to expand...

The answer to the bolded is an emphatic NO! It is so difficult to find a man who truly knows how to converse. I've noticed so many men think that interviewing a woman is a good way to get to know her. They ask question after question after question but never take any time to think about your answers. And then they want to get mad when you don't ask them anything. I'm like, "dude, you haven't said one thing that makes me want to know more about you. If all you do is ask questions, you're not making yourself very interesting to me. If you don't interest me, what do I really want to know about you."
When a man can take something I say and add his own view to it and/or dig deeper into my rationale then I know he's worth talking to.
 
dlewis said:
I don't know what's going to happen to us. I'm refusing (at this time) to get my kids cells but ALL their friends have them.:nono:

MY BFF's little girls has one and she's 6.:nono:

I only see dating getting more complicated because of texts and emails. Do these men even know how wo have a conversation?

OT: You look so pretty. Glad to see you posting again.
Click to expand...

Thanks Dlewis. You are right it's only going to get worse. 6 years old with a cell phone. What in the world does she need one of those for? It's not like she would be anywhere where there wasn't any adult supervision at that age. I barely want a cell phone now in my mid 30's. If I wasn't so concerned about having one for general saftey I would not have one at all.

I have had a cell phone for many years but never had text enabled until this spring. My mom will occasionally text me to say things like hello my dear love you mom as we live in different states. However she doesn't get crazy with it and she is in her early 60's. She would have problems with me if that was my major form of communication with her.
 
Texting replaces actual talking if you let it. I refused to have a texting relationships when I was dating. It is weird because when I didn't answer a text, I would get a phone call. I made it clear texting was for, "Hey I am stuck in traffic" and that was it. I never let texting be an option.
 
With dating, I'd rather us go out somewhere than talk or text on the phone. I'm fine with him asking me out places via texts. When we see each other in person we'll converse.

With everyone else, I don't talk on the phone unless it's my parents or an emergency basically. Anyone else? Pshhh. Just like some people don't respond to texts, I don't respond to phone calls. I will text you back. I hate talking on the phone. If any of my friends actually place a phone call to me, I'll answer, because it's probably an emergency. But I don't like just sitting on the phone having full blown conversations :nono: Either lets meet up or text.
 
I hate talking on the phone because then I can't do anything else. Whereas w/ texting or im-ing or chatting, I can multitask. So 21st century though. :rolleyes:
 
Personally, I think that if a guy is pursuing me, or if I am beginning to date a man, there should defenitely be phone communication. I think that you can get to know a person over the phone much more than by talking to them via text messaging. If I began to date a guy and all he was doing was texting me, I would have a problem with that. There would be one exception, which would be that he wanted to see me frequently. If the guy is really into you and wants to see you like everyday (non sexual), than that would be okay to text. However, if you're seeing him like once a week, than no, he should be picking up the phone. You stated that you had been talking to him since December 1, and you still have not talked to him on the phone....oh no girl! He should have picked up the phone a long time ago! If a person is really feeling someone, they should want to talk to them on the phone.
 
I think texting can supplement communication but should not be the only form of communication especially if a man is supposedly showing interest. Texting is too impersonal. How will we really get to know each other without having an actual conversation? I like to be able to assess the tone and pace of the conversation. Also, removing interpersonal interaction leaves room for misunderstandings in my opinion.

Oddly at my job we do text because we are all in meetings all day and texting is sometimes the only way to communicate in a time effective manner. We text if we are going to be out. Otherwise there's no telling when someone would get the v/m or email. But I think this is a symptom of companies cutting back so much and people being stretched to thin...folks can barely keep up on v/m and email these days.
 
I really do think that texting is on the verge of replacing actual talking on the phone. I don't see a problem with it. :look: Although I can see how others could. But texting is short and sweet and to the point. No need for unnecessary banter or small talk. Say what you need to say and that's it! :lol:

In case you can't tell I'm a texter. :lol: I communicate a lot that way with just about everyone. However, I can still talk on the phone if I need to. :yep: I just prefer not to.
 
Wanted to add that when DH and I were dating we communicated a lot through texting. We both prefer to communicate with people that way. However, once things got serious we spent a lot of time together. Going out, hanging out, etc. So texting wasn't the only form of communication. I wouldn't be cool with a guy who never wanted to go out or hang out and preferred to text all the time. :nono:
 
Yeah, unfortunately texting has replaced actual communication. I don't like it and after dealing with a guy who actually duped me into a date via text, I stopped responding to texts from guys and now I get phone calls instead.:grin: Texting is fine for short messages like "I'm gonna be late" but that's it.
 
I don't think its replaced talking... I think texting is just another new development in the way people communicate. Just like IM, e-mail, skyping, etc.
 
Funny this topic came up...I just decided to cut a gentleman (and I use the term loosely) off du2 a text.* About 3 weeks ago he asked for my number and I have only heard from him via text.* My thoughts are if you wanted to get to know me (his words) you would have used my number to ask me out. :ohwell:
The last msg I received from him was questionable.* In his defense, he may have been joking but because I didn't "hear" the intent behind the comment I have no idea or an inclination to find out...On to the next one. :lol:
 
Yep. I don't talk to my mom on the phone anymore...or any other family member for that matter. If I called, they'd all think I was in some kind of trouble because we all prefer to text. The only person I don't text like that is Dh. I prefer to hear his voice.
 
Texting works well for me and the guy I talk tofor a few reasons, one being I don't want my daughter in my business/conversations. We see each other a ton already as it is so texting is fine for us. We send thousands a month I'd say. Lord help me, we both just installed the walkie talkie app on our phones so I think we will try that a few times until he gets bored with it. We do talk on the phone too but it's only like maybe twice a week.
 
I think he understands I don't want to be bothered anymore. He sent me a text on sat. I have yet to respond back and never plan to. Moving right along to the next guy.
 
I'm beginning to HATE texting for relationships!! :wallbash:

I can't stand it. :nono: It makes guys waaay too lazy. It's the lazy-man's/cheater's dream!!! :rolleyes:

Don't get me wrong, I love technology, and I love texting my friends, but IMO texting is way too impersonal. It keeps you at an arm's length distance if that is the ONLY way a guy is communicating with you.

I used to date this guy who would always text too. I mean, we would have full-blown 2-hour conversations via text. Now you know!! :nono: I kept thinking in the back of my mind: "if you're interested in me, why don't you just pick up the phone and call me? In the amount of time it took you to type out your text, you could have called me and we would be on the next topic by now." Smh....

I wasn't that into him anyway, so it's not like I really cared. It just would blow my mind whenever I would get a text from him instead of a phone call. He would call....SOMETIMES, but usually he would text 5:1 as opposed to calling.
 
I hate it when dating. I'm old school, I guess.

I was getting to know a guy who would only text. I asked him about it around day 2 or 3 and he had the nerve to get upset. He told me that he "doesn't like to talk on the phone" and is "too busy." We didn't make it. :grin:

Another guy (from my past) and I recently reconnected. HE is busy. After like 2 emails he was like, how can I reach you? Can you talk? I want to hear your voice. Now this guy was in another country and runs several businesses. If HE wasn't too busy to pick up the phone... Not trying to hear that bullish from anyone else. :nono:

Oh, and I also have a close male friend who always responds to my texts with a phone call. He's like texting is for birds. Let's talk.
 
i know for people my age, def. new people i meet & exchange numbers with (male or female), always text first. i think it's to not seem too eager. and a lot of people detest talking on the phone.

i like both, but i hate HATE when i get "whats up?" that is not a conversation starter. especially since it usually goes "not much. you?" "same". ugh. i don't pay for texts individually but i always consider it a waste of a text/the effort to take out my phone. i have a lot of feelings about that. ;)

i remember reading in 17 a few years ago about this girl who basically had an online relationship with her boyfriend. they went to school together, etc. but he'd never really have anything to talk about in person. but then they'd spend hours talking online at night. lol
 
deltagyrl said:
I hate it when dating. I'm old school, I guess.

I was getting to know a guy who would only text. I asked him about it around day 2 or 3 and he had the nerve to get upset. He told me that he "doesn't like to talk on the phone" and is "too busy." We didn't make it. :grin:

Another guy (from my past) and I recently reconnected. HE is busy. After like 2 emails he was like, how can I reach you? Can you talk? I want to hear your voice. Now this guy was in another country and runs several businesses. If HE wasn't too busy to pick up the phone... Not trying to hear that bullish from anyone else. :nono:

Oh, and I also have a close male friend who always responds to my texts with a phone call. He's like texting is for birds. Let's talk.
Click to expand...


Hmmmmm.....I wonder, does he like you?? lol :scratchch
 
I've had this issue recently. This guy I bumped into a few times at a local eatery took my number (mind you, after asking "How can I see you more often?") and then all he would do was text me. "Good morning". "How is your day going?" Things like that. My reaction was: You got my number for that? My view is that you might as well not bother. If you are really interested in getting to know me, call me, ask me out, so we can both decide if we're clicking, and if not, move on. I'm not in high school, and I don't need text buddies. So I basically told him, I don't text (I would be more willing to do it if texts were in my phone plan, but they're not.) I think that guys that text continually (esp. in the early, getting-to-know-you stage) are trying to be distant and keep you on a string w/o even committing to asking you out. I don't have time for that. If you want to be that distant, just go away.
 
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Someone had the nerve to ask me out on a date via text recently. AND NO … I did not go. If you can’t call me to ask me, don’t bother. What happened to having a conversation :nono:
 
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Well went on a blind date last evening with someone new. He did text me a note as I was driving home to say thanks for meeting up with him for dinner etc. Also emailed me early this a.m to say he really enjoyed my company. Not only did he text and email he picked up the phone this evening to talk to me and find out where I think I may want to go for our second date. I think this guy gets it. I could care less how much someone emails me or texts me but if you are not using the phone portion of your phone to try to get to know me and ask me out if means nothing at all.

Starting to get a low tolerance for BS with dating at this point.
 
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