Has technology made dating easier or worse?

[StarScream35]

I'm interested in hearing what you ladies think. I think technology has made dating somewhat difficult. But that's just my 2 cents. From my experience, the internet although it makes it easier to meet people, it has also made it easier for people to be more superficial and made people less likely to want to take the time to get to know each other. People are always thinking something better will come along etc.

And texting. I love texting but right now texting is irking me. It's making dating a lil more challenging cause what I'm finding is that men would much rather text than talk and too often many leave you in text purgatory by making you wait for their response or simply responding with lines that are just too short and not answering the question.

 

[VelvetRain]

Yes I agree. I experienced the same foolishness with regards to texting. Men wanting to hold hour or longer conversations via text or having their main conversation via text. It's like getting to know someone becomes very impersonal. I had a guy asked me out via text ugh. Happily dating someone who doest like texting.

 

[StarScream35]

VelvetRain

Congrats on finding someone who likes to talk. I hope mine is around the corner cause this text thang is getting on my nerves.

 

[Windsy]

I'm not blaming technology for this; technology expanded our dating resources, etc but people took disadvantage of its capabilities.

I talk to my SO on the phone for hours....we also email, text and IM from time to time BUT we made our main form of communication the phone.

 

[VelvetRain]

Thanks. It's certainly not been an easy road to connect with a quality person. A trusted friend who is a guy told me that men who only text and rarely if ever call are only interested in having sex with you. Makes total sense to me now.

 

[TrueToHair]

I think technology has made meeting people easier (online dating sites).

I also think it can get you into serious trouble. (I've seen Facebook ruin lives).....

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

Yup. I agree. I was asked out via text message before. Not cool. Esp. before it all he didn't mind talking to me and we were having really good convo. It was obvious that I was into him, but when he went in for the kill (text message ask out) I was put off.

 

[SamandI]

try being broken up with by text.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

try being broken up with by text.

..................that's messed up!

 

[southerncitygirl]

yes and no

people who normally wouldn't cross each other paths are meeting via online dating and sometimes its win/win situation.

on thew flipside many men have become very lazy in their pursuit of women by doing the bare minimum.....but the trouble is that we as women have allowed it so they think that they can do this with every woman they meet.

i have no issue with someone texting me while i'm at work, but when its the weekend or after work my expectation is that they call even if its just a quick conversation to see how my day went and this should be several times a week in addition to us seeing each other regularly for dates.

a man who doesn't call or wants me to chase them is not the man for me. i date so little because of this....i'm quick to drop a man if he's not up to snuff.

i think people get quite bold and verbose when behind a computer screen or texting from a cell phone. our society is becoming too impersonal for my taste.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Worse worse worse. So many guys it's like they only want to get to know you by texting. I can't stand that. One of the guys I'm dating doesn't text at all, if he wants to talk to me he calls and I really like that.

 

[Seeking8Rights]

]I'm not blaming technology for this; technology expanded our dating resources, etc but people took disadvantage of its capabilities.[/B]

I talk to my SO on the phone for hours....we also email, text and IM from time to time BUT we made our main form of communication the phone.

I was going to say the same.

People has changed the internet dating game from good to bad.

I met my husband on Blackplant.com almost 9 years ago and many of the guys I meet online before him were decent people. Back then people were really just using the platform for networking and the "dating" thing was still new so people were honest. But now, people has realized that they can use online dating to take advantage of people, so they have.

 

[ambergirl]

In general, tech turns relationship building on it's head. Relationships are about give and take, shared intimacy, taking in the whole of a person and not just their parts.

With tech you can reduce a person to their words. Texting isn't a conversation. It's one person sharing something through words alone....then another person sharing through words alone....etc. Conversations and relationships are about all the things that are being said between the words that are shared by how you say it, your body language, your eye contact, etc.

Just look at some of the conflicts on this forum alone. Most of them would never happen IRL. Folks would either not say things the way they say them here or would be able to better interpret what folks were really saying based on all the other ways we communicate with each other.

I also think all the oversharing on Facebook and the like is not great for intimate relationships. Feels like false intimacy which is just odd.

I know when I want to only connect with a person on my terms I text, when I want to talk to them but don't want to be bothered with seeing them, I'll call. But when I really value a person and want them in my life I'll take the time to actually see them.

 

[RossBoss]

I met my husband on Blackplant.com almost 9 years ago and many of the guys I meet online before him were decent people. Back then people were really just using the platform for networking and the "dating" thing was still new so people were honest. But now, people has realized that they can use online dating to take advantage of people, so they have.

ITA with this statement! This is what I mentioned in the Online Dating Support thread. I think in the beginning, it was mostly sane people. This is one of those things where you have to get in on the ground floor before everyone knows about it then you will have all the crazies and losers flocking to it. I say this not as an experienced online dater, just as someone who has been online since 1998 and noticed that as the internet became more accessible to the masses, it became more of a landmine than an actual safe haven to have fun with like minded quirky people. I would think the same would hold true for internet dating.

 

[anon123]

Given the results, I'd say it's made it worse.

 

[caltron]

I think technology can be a very valuable tool in dating. However, I also think it's still up to the person using it to make wise choices in dating and use the technology appropriately. What you find online is just a mirror of what you find in real life.

 

[blksndrlla]

1) I don't tell men my real first name because it is unique and I don't need you to Google me.
2) I would rather you have my phone number than add me on Facebook.
3) Facebook allows me to have a snapshot of who that person portrays himself to be.
4) I like texting, as I am generally not available for phone calls until late in the night. That way I can feel like you thought about me during your day or I can share tid bits about my day.
5) I generally just text you in the beginning and we can build up to phone conversations.
6)I also think technology makes it harder to break ties with people. You can always keep tabs on them or contact them...via fb, twitter, email, gchat, Skype...whatever...

I don't have experience on any dating sites...

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Yes I agree. I experienced the same foolishness with regards to texting. Men wanting to hold hour or longer conversations via text or having their main conversation via text. It's like getting to know someone becomes very impersonal. I had a guy asked me out via text ugh. Happily dating someone who doest like texting.

^^THIS.

I don't like how impersonal and superficial dating and just relationships in general have become these days.

I'm not blaming technology for this; technology expanded our dating resources, etc but people took disadvantage of its capabilities.

I talk to my SO on the phone for hours....we also email, text and IM from time to time BUT we made our main form of communication the phone.

And this is how it SHOULD be imo.

There's nothing wrong w/texting while in a relationship, but texting should be like an appetizer, whereas CALLING should be the main course of a meal. A guy that I would be interested in dating would not make texting/emailing his main form of communication w/me.

In fact, these days...I think I'm going to lighten up on the texting, emailing and fb'ing so much and just go back to the days where I actually CALLED people, and we had really meaningful conversations. This whole texting business is for the birds.

It's a great invention, but people have abused it and have taken it to the extreme imo.

yes and no

people who normally wouldn't cross each other paths are meeting via online dating and sometimes its win/win situation.

on thew flipside many men have become very lazy in their pursuit of women by doing the bare minimum.....but the trouble is that we as women have allowed it so they think that they can do this with every woman they meet.

i have no issue with someone texting me while i'm at work, but when its the weekend or after work my expectation is that they call even if its just a quick conversation to see how my day went and this should be several times a week in addition to us seeing each other regularly for dates.

a man who doesn't call or wants me to chase them is not the man for me. i date so little because of this....i'm quick to drop a man if he's not up to snuff.

i think people get quite bold and verbose when behind a computer screen or texting from a cell phone. our society is becoming too impersonal for my taste.

^^AGREE 110%!

Imo technology HAS made men more lazy. But we can't really fault men too much, because we women have allowed it! Smh....