Has anyone dated outside of their religion?

[Radianthealth]

Well I think that would depend on who you ask. I know alot of Christians who believe that anything other than Baptist, Presbyterian, Methodist, etc is . . . or might as well be athiest.

I don't see it like that. Buddhist wouldn't be athiest because they do believe in God/s. Athiest means that you don't believe in a God or a supernatural anything. Just us. Period. It'd be more of a montheistic v. polytheistic thing rather than athiest v. Christian or whatever.

I think hubby and I hold deist ideologies more than anything else which is why we do not clash on religious matters. We both believe that there is a God, one God, one power that controls the universe. Everything else beyond that we both feel is man-made or man-inspired. We don't mind visiting churches or temples but we tend to see them more from a traditionalist/cultural point of view. We see those religions and customs as more of some other man's attempt at rationalizing and understanding God. So when his mother wants to rub ashes on our foreheads, we don't see that as a "threat" to our relationship with God as some would see it. And we hold things like Baptisms or Christenings in the same view, none of those things are a threat because they are just different ways that people have resolved to praise and understand God. Neither one of us think that God writes books either, so that pretty much puts us on the same wavelength.

We both think that God is much too big, too powerful, too perfect, and everything else to belong to any one group of people. We think that anyone has the ability to feel and know God and what ever name you call God, God is still the same. We see God like a common experience, like . . . rain. Everyone feels rain and knows what rain is. We've all had experiences with rain no matter who you are or where you are. We all call rain different things in different places, and it means different things to different people, but it is the same thing... rain. Rain can't be monopolized by a group of people, it doesn't descriminate, everyone experiences rain. We see God the same way.

We think that relationships with God are to be personal which is why I can understand how worship and religion might be done differently by different people. And different does not = wrong to us. We don't think any one person or guide can tell you how to have a relationship with or understand God. God is much more dynamic to us than that. And that's why sending our kids to an Episcopal school did not have us up in arms.

Love this explanation I agree except I would probably use air as a metaphor instead of rain

 

[cheeks87]

So would you say you're more of a secular humanist?

*looks up secular humanism on wiki*

Uhhhhh no? I think I just consider myself a good person who doesn't understand why most people today are complete *******s.

I don't really like labels. I don't even really label myself as atheist in everyday life. I'm just....me. Idk. It's hard to explain.


Also, my mom grew up muslim and my dad grew up christian and happily married. They both believe in God(I think....I know my Mom does. I asked my Dad and he gave me some weird hippie answer.) but do not belong to any religion.

 

[cabellera]

I am just curious. I met this really nice guy and we hit it off very well. He is everything I want in a husband, but he is Muslim and I am Christian. He asked me if I could ever marry a Muslim and I told him that it would be very hard. I think I may have ended a good thing before it started, because after I said that he said something to me that hurt my feelings. I believe he said it because of my comment.

I know that we are not supposed to be unequally yoked, but everything else about him is perfect.

What are your thoughts ladies?

Uh, doesn't seem to me that you let go of a "good thing" before it started. Did he at least inquire deeper into your feelings of WHY you didn't think it would work? Nooooooooo, doesn't seem he did. Instead, he gave you a verbal WALLOP in retaliation for YOUR OPINION. Now that type of conduct doesn't need any religion to interpret it. Plain RUDE and insensitive. Perhaps you focused on the religious aspect of your relationship and not so much on taking off the rose colored glasses to see WHO HE REALLY IS! Because Mr. Perfect is Mr. Perfect regardless of race, creed, religion, etc. My bet, once you are honest with yourself...he won't be so perfect. JMO

 

[Sistaslick]

Oh, okay ...

I'm really into learning about people's ideas about religion, ethics, and morality, and your earlier post just sounded exactly like something a secular humanist would say. The whole idea that morality and ethics are just a part of being a good human being and can exist outside of the confines of organized religion is something that falls in line with a humanist line of thinking. I guess the way you mentioned that some people (your boyfriend ) sort of need the structure and guidance of religion as a guide to help them stay in line and tap into their own inherent morality--- just got me thinking.

Not to be all up in your bizz, but what parts of secular humanism did you find fault with as an athiest? Sorry, you can pm if you want

*looks up secular humanism on wiki*

Uhhhhh no? I think I just consider myself a good person who doesn't understand why most people today are complete *******s.

I don't really like labels. I don't even really label myself as atheist in everyday life. I'm just....me. Idk. It's hard to explain.


Also, my mom grew up muslim and my dad grew up christian and happily married. They both believe in God(I think....I know my Mom does. I asked my Dad and he gave me some weird hippie answer.) but do not belong to any religion.

 

[Sistaslick]

Uh, doesn't seem to me that you let go of a "good thing" before it started. Did he at least inquire deeper into your feelings of WHY you didn't think it would work? Nooooooooo, doesn't seem he did. Instead, he gave you a verbal WALLOP in retaliation for YOUR OPINION. Now that type of conduct doesn't need any religion to interpret it. Plain RUDE and insensitive. Perhaps you focused on the religious aspect of your relationship and not so much on taking off the rose colored glasses to see WHO HE REALLY IS! Because Mr. Perfect is Mr. Perfect regardless of race, creed, religion, etc. My bet, once you are honest with yourself...he won't be so perfect. JMO

ITA. Yeah . . . you two didn't even really get into a normal discussion about it! You both pretty much shut the other down without going any further. Pretty much like if he were black and you were Asian and he asked if you would ever seriously date a black guy-- and you said "it would be very hard" not even really knowing anything else about him as a person (just the fact that he's black and not Asian like you). Then he came back with something hurtful about being Asian without taking the time to see where you were coming from with your concerns.

I don't think you blew it with him, I just think that both of you realized that a relationship with those types of differences would not be ideal for either one of you . . . and you all ended it at that. At least you guys found out before it went any further, or worse yet, kids were involved.

It takes a certain degree of understanding and tolerance to make something like that work out. If y'all can't get past the first sentence . . .

 

[PapillionRouge]

Sorry to sound ignorant, but I ddnt think Muslims were "allowed" to or marry non-Muslims or outside their religion.
Can someone shed some more light on this for me please??

 

[miracle]

I have dated outside of my chosen faith in the past, and am currently engaged to someone outside of my faith. It has never been an issue for either one of us. The center or "core" in both of our ways of life is the belief in the Trinity. I would say that we are probably both more "spiritual" in or chosen walks, than actually "religious", as neither of us subscribe to "organized religion". But, we both enjoy actively learning and studying the principles of each others chosen faith.

 

[cheeks87]

Oh, okay ...

Not to be all up in your bizz, but what parts of secular humanism did you find fault with as an athiest? Sorry, you can pm if you want

It's cool!
*goes off to wiki it again*

No I mean that totally sounds like me, I just don't like labels. The thing most people don't understand about agnostics/atheists....is that we're not a GROUP. We don't meet every Sunday and chat about what we do and don't believe in, you know? So yeah, if someone ASKS me what religion I belong to, I say, "I'm not religious", because if I say, "I'm atheist" all that persons pre-conceptions(usually MIS-conceptions) come into play. They think I hate religious people or some crap. When in reality, I could care less and never think about God/gods, religion and all that unless someone else brings it up. If I were filling out a survey though, I'd put atheist.

If I start going around saying I believe in secular humanism, I'd have to carry around a print-outs of the wiki article to give out. Everyone'd be like, What the frick are you talking about?

 

[Saida]

Sorry to sound ignorant, but I ddnt think Muslims were "allowed" to or marry non-Muslims or outside their religion.
Can someone shed some more light on this for me please??

I am muslim and your right, but its allowed to marry people from the book it says in the quran, so like christians or jewish people are from the scriptures that are mentioned in the quran. although im not sure that christians and jewish people who are mentioned in the quran are like they are today. No offense

 

[foxxymami]

hee hee you're so funny

It's cool!
*goes off to wiki it again*

No I mean that totally sounds like me, I just don't like labels. The thing most people don't understand about agnostics/atheists....is that we're not a GROUP. We don't meet every Sunday and chat about what we do and don't believe in, you know? So yeah, if someone ASKS me what religion I belong to, I say, "I'm not religious", because if I say, "I'm atheist" all that persons pre-conceptions(usually MIS-conceptions) come into play. They think I hate religious people or some crap. When in reality, I could care less and never think about God/gods, religion and all that unless someone else brings it up. If I were filling out a survey though, I'd put atheist.

If I start going around saying I believe in secular humanism, I'd have to carry around a print-outs of the wiki article to give out. Everyone'd be like, What the frick are you talking about?

Great discussion ladies

 

[vivEz daNs lamouR]

I'm actually in a very serious relationship with my SO and he's not only White, but Muslim. Ironically enough, he's Moroccan, and my mom's side of the family is Moroccan too. Living in NY, there's hardly ANY Moroccans, much less any cute ones that are around my age! But we're in a very loving and caring relationship. Honestly, he treats me like a queen and this is the best I've ever been treated.

Through him I've started learning about Islam, because even though I was raised Christian, my mother's side of the family is Muslim. I've NEVER connected with that side of my family in terms of religion - I didn't know anything about it or what it entailed. You'd be surprised what the Muslim religion speaks of, its very comforting and uplifting. I'm in the process of learning about both Islam AND Christianity, and at the end of my journey I plan to finally figure out what faith I plan on practicing.

But to one of the posters questions, a Muslim man CAN marry a Christian, Muslim, or Jewish woman. Muslim women however cannot. I know this too because my SO's sister just got married 8 months ago and her husband converted to Islam to marry her.

 

[Rastafarai]

Delete.....

 

[growth2come]

I have dated Muslim (4 years) and Jewish(1 year). No problems there. If you both respect each other's religions then you can make it work. I make it clear that I am NOT willing to change religions for no one.